A Gamer Girl's Memoir
by nerdymum
Summary: Sara Davis is just your average, every day professional game reviewer for a popular gaming magazine. She claims to have a boring life, until everything changes one night when an unexpected, handsome visitor literally drops into her living room.
1. Chapter 1

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person, living or dead, is strictly coincidental. Also, I do not claim ownership to the following: Halo game series, Bioshock, Harper's Bazaar, Wired, Supergirl and any elements of DC comics or Marvel, Consumer Reports, and any references to Star Trek or Avatar (I think that covers it!).

Chapter 1: Friday night

"Here's the new Halo promo," Jason flopped the small white envelope on my coffee table next to the empty Starbucks cup that used to contain my venti caramel macchiato with skim milk and extra shot of espresso. He stepped back and crossed his arms over his Green Lantern shirted chest, a smirk crossing his face.

"Seriously, Sara; again?"

I didn't look away from my 60" LED as I continued to push the myriad of buttons on my Xbox controller. I was currently in a tight spot, stuck in Insanity mode, but I had played the game five times before so I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into.

"Yes, again. I was depressed by the last God of War installation and I needed a little pick-me-up. Shit! Damned husk!" I cursed as I maneuvered my version of a male Commander Shepard through the derelict Reaper. I had shaped him to look like Robert Downey Jr., which Jason found ridiculous and a bit telling. I even made the armor the same colors as the Iron Man suit. I was bored…

Jason sighed and flopped down onto my sofa, picking up a copy of Wired magazine, right next to my stack of Bazaar.

"You're obsessed, my little southern belle. I mean, I understand the value of a good game replay, but six times?"

"The last time I played I used my FemShep, so the game content was different. This time I'm gonna romance Tali. Can't stand that Miranda!" I swore again when Robert Shepard Jr. died, ending my mission for the moment. Just in time for a break, I decided as I rubbed my cramped hand.

"Okay, fine. She wasn't my favorite character, either, but there's an issue when you play Sara Shepard. You always romance Thane. Why not Jacob or Garrus or even get freaky and hit up on crazy Kelly? She gives you a sexy lap dance!" he wiggled his eyebrows at me. I stood up and walked to my refrigerator to grab two Cokes from my endless supply.

"Because my crazy female sensibilities won't allow me," I answered as I sat down next to him and took the copy of Wired from him, replacing it with the latest issue of Bazaar, featuring some gorgeous Hollywood starlet on the cover.

"Here," I flipped open the cover. "New Gucci Fall show's featured in here. So loving their coats!"

Jason's hazel eyes widened and he flipped quickly through the pages, scanning over the fashion with slight interest.

"Back to the original subject; explain your reasoning for sexing the drell. Ooh!" he landed on a page I had marked. The super tall, super skinny model was in a completely unrealistic pose in the middle of a creepy-looking amusement park dressed in clothes that no sane fashionista would be caught dead wearing in such a place. "New Louboutins?" he pointed to the super high, super sexy, bright red-soled stiletto.

"Hells yes!" I nodded with absolution. "As soon as I get that check for my Consumer Reports review those babies are mine!"

"With that cute Dior mini?"

I snorted when he pointed to the short dress.

"Yeah, right! Like my figure can carry that off! On that model it looks sophisticated and chic. On me, I'd look like some bastard Kardashian doubling as a street walker," I took a sip of my cola.

"Aw, poor Sara!" he patted me on top of my head. "You're built good, girl! If I wasn't gay I'd be all up in your space," he grinned.

"Ha! If you weren't gay you'd be all up in that model's space," I pointed to the girl wearing "my shoes". "I'm a short, geeky chick with serious near-sightedness and a penchant for tee-shirts that feature superhero logos," I pulled the front of my faded Batman shirt flat to display the proof.

"Avoiding my question, again! Why do you only romance Thane?"

I sighed and propped my socked feet on my coffee table as I picked lint balls from my sweatpants.

"Because Jacob is a whiny little brat. 'Oh, my dad's an asshole!' Bitch, please! And Garrus? I mean, that's like fucking your brother! He's too loyal of a friend and to approach him with romantic intent, in my opinion, would just be awkward. And I'm not freaky so I steer clear of Kelly Chambers. So, logic dictates that you go for the super hot super buff deadly assassin who quotes philosophy and has a voice like a sex god. Plus he's one damn fine mo-fo in all that skin-tight leather," I grinned at the thought. I watched as my friend's perfectly groomed eyebrows rose with suspicion.

"Logic dictates? You are the furthest thing from ever being a Vulcan, sweetie. You bawled like a baby at Avatar."

"Hey!" I pointed a finger at his nose, "That tree was thousands of years old and the Na'Vi's home! Poor giant blue kitties. And you lay off my Vulcan peeps! They be prosperin'!"

Jason laughed at my joking and shrugged.

"Okay, so you have some weird, unrealistic crush on a man who most likely doesn't exist. You would think as a professional game reviewer you would be willing to give the other romances a shot. It's only logical, to quote Mr. Spock."

I looked at my friend with question, feeling the smirk cross my face.

"A crush, really? What am I, like, six years old on the fucking playground? It's fascination for BioWare's ability to get under my skin as a woman. They have created a character so complex and full of depth and emotion that I just can't help myself. What really pisses me off was that they showed naughty scenes with 'The Priiiiiize' Jacob and 'I'm So Horrifically Perfect' Miranda, but those lazy bastards couldn't lift a precious finger on their animation screens to give me a nude drell assassin. Like I want to see the J-Lo sized ass of Miranda when I can clearly look into the mirror and gaze upon my own fat disaster!"

Jason flinched and recoiled slightly at my angry fan-girl speech.

"Damn, girl! You've got one hell of a hard-on for him, don't you?"

I laughed and shook my head at him. Too bad, I thought for a brief second. Jason's actually pretty cute. But he is gay and his partner is more of a couture freak than I am. And I had a stash of designer shoes and handbags in my odd-ball of a wardrobe, right next to the collection of nerdy tee-shirts and skinny jeans.

"Well, that's telling. Guess now I know who has the bigger dick between the two of us."

He laughed again and drew his attention back to the fashion magazine.

"Sara, you are a trip."

"Yes, I do that a lot. And yet I'm sure if I stopped wearing platform pumps that would happen less."

"They make your butt look good," he replied nonchalantly. My smirk returned as I finished my caffeinated beverage.

"So, you're checking me out, huh? I'm telling George."

"He'd tell you the same thing. Forgive me, but I do notice these things. Hard to look away when it's right there. It's a nice butt, for a girl butt. You is a bootylicious babe!"

I burst out laughing and nearly fell off my sofa as I grasped at my aching gut.

"I cannot believe you actually said that word!"

"I have a reason for noticing your girlish figure. You're the only really cool chick at the magazine, except for Mary, and she's clearly not one of us. She's on the far left side of normal. Hell, Sara, the entire gaming community who reads our sad rag is probably infatuated with you. You are an awesome woman. You wear Spiderman tee-shirts with Diesel jeans and Guiseppe Zanotti heels, carrying around that Gucci bag with copies of Bioshock 3. You are every straight nerdy boy's wet dream."

I snorted in denial as I picked at my cracked cuticles. Manicure, my ass! I'm not that high-maintenance!

"Even in these horrible hipster specs? Besides, I don't even want to think about what some overweight dude living in him mom's basement and what he thinks of me at two in the morning. Speaking of overweight, I really need to start hitting the gym again. I'm getting a muffin-top."

"No, you don't," Jason playfully punched me in the arm. "You look great. You just need to do something with this sad mop of hair. Get some hot, red highlights, some face-framing layers."

My ponytail was smacked across my face as he flipped it around.

"Don't touch da hair!" I did my worst John Travolta impersonation as I swatted his hand away. "I work really hard and ya touch it!"

"Well, I gotta go," he handed back my magazine and went to stand up, finishing his own can of soda. "If you need anything, call me."

I nodded and woke my controller.

"Yeah, yeah. You realize, one of these days I'm going to call at three in the morning just to say 'Jay, I need you! Now!'" I said in a husky, desperate voice.

"You are disturbed."

"I've been told that. Oh, and when you get home, give Georgie Boy a big, fat, wet, French kiss from me, kay?" I kissed in the air.

"You're disturbed and troubled, Sara. You need to get laid," he threw on his jacket. I maneuvered Robert Shepard Jr. down one of the hallways of the Cerberus base, the voice of the handsome drell rasping something about "There are too many shadows in here."

"Troubled, yes. Frustrated sexually, no. I've discovered that celibacy makes me play better. It's my little secret, so don't tell anyone or I'll send you to the Phantom Zone," I warned.

"Oh, don't you worry, Supergirl; I've got your kryptonite locked away until further notice. See you on Monday," he waved as he walked out my door.

"Night!" I called to him.

I continued my game up to the point my MaleShep romanced the cute quarian Tali and turned off my console. I yawned and stood up from my seat, legs tingling from being crossed for a few hours. I glanced down at the game case at the character of Thane Krios. He was a lovely shade of peridot green and had the face that even Michelangelo couldn't have carved. What really brought the character to life was the voice; the flanged gravelling the sound producers added to the dark, soft vocals gave him this rough and extremely sensuous purr. Listening to him made me sigh in adoration, even squeal at times when he lovingly called my FemShep a "Siha". Sara Shepard was created in my image which made the game even more endearing to me. But, as much as I hated to admit it, Jason was right. I did have some kind of weird geek girl crush on the drell.

How sad is that!

I shook my head and walked back to bed after setting all the locks on my door and shutting off the lights. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, and when I did I had some rather graphic dreams involving a handsome reptilian man with large black eyes and a mouth that only plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills could replicate. Sometimes, I thought just as my eyes closed, it sucks being thirty-two and single.

O . . . O. . . O

A loud crash immediately woke me up. I bolted up and I tried to calm myself then grabbed the ball bat next to my bed and quietly rushed down the tall, my heart pounding in my chest. If it was guy wanted for strangling his girlfriend I had seen reported on the evening news he was going to be bludgeoned to death.

Put me in jail for trying not to get raped! I watch the fucking local television!

I crept slowly towards my living room, the ball bat before me protectively. Then, I saw the shadow. It was a tall man, probably somewhere around six feet, and he was slowly standing up. He brushed off his arms like he had fallen. I heard him groan in pain and I reached for the light switch at the end of my hall to confront my suspect.

"Freeze, bastard!"

The man turned around and faced me. Standing pin-straight and dressed in sleek black leather with the body of a god was the face I thought could only exist in the servers at the BioWare headquarters.

I blinked and felt my arms slack, ball bat dropping to the floor.

I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming! Wake up, stupid!

I lifted one hand and promptly slapped myself on the cheek with some force.

"Ouch!" I winced in pain. I watched in utter shock as Thane Krios lifted his hands in surrender, blinking both sets of eyelids in surprise.

"Excuse me, madam," his beautiful, sexy voice asked in perfect English. "Could you tell me where I am?"

I laughed. Then I laughed harder. In fact, I laughed so hard that I didn't even remember fainting in shock.


	2. Chapter 2

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Doctor Who, My Little Pony, and any character from The Big Bang Theory. That being said, "Allons y!"

Chapter 2: Saturday

I opened my eyes, convinced that what I had just witnessed was some super-realistic dream my psyche unleashed on my over-stressed brain. But the back of my head ached like I had hit it on something and I winced in pain as I gingerly touched the goose egg that was beginning to form. My left cheek hurt as well.

I shook myself awake and scrambled to find my glasses when I realized I wasn't in bed. I was on my sofa and the lights were on. I blinked and saw my surroundings in the lovely fuzz that is my unenhanced vision.

"What the hell," I muttered when I noticed the ball bat on the floor. Did I sleepwalk? I hadn't done that since I was a little kid! I went to push myself off the sofa when my left hand touched something that definitely wasn't a cushion. It was rock hard and leathery. Slowly, I looked up and in my nearsighted vision came face to face with my intruder. The full, pouty lips started to form a faint smile as he cocked his head to the side, chin resting on his knuckles.

"Are you alright?"

My mouth dropped open and a second later I heard a shrill scream coming from my throat.

"Aaaagggghhhhh! Ohshitohshitohshit!" I tried to run, stumbling and staggering to get away, but ended up falling off the sofa in a clumsy heap. I crawled away and dove for the Louisville Slugger, huddling in a corner and trembling.

He stood up, hands out in submission, and regarded me with what I interpreted as worry.

"Please, allow me to provide an explanation," he spoke and I once again was in awe of the sound that rumbled from that gorgeous mouth.

"Dude, if this is some gross prank from Jason, you tell him he's a fucking dead man! But that make-up job is pretty sick. You have Tom Savini do that himself?"

He looked at me with apparent confusion and I watched in utter disbelief as he blinked both sets of eyelids; first the inner, translucent nictitating membranes then the thick, dark charcoal lids.

"I am sorry, but I don't understand you."

I slid up my wall, ball bat out and ready to strike.

"No, no! I'm dreaming. I have to still be dreaming, or I have finally gone insane, because YOU'RE a fictional character!"

He frowned darkly and folded his arms behind his long back, revealing his impressive chest. The leather jacket creaked slightly, solidifying the fact that I was not asleep. Even when I did dream about him his clothes never made noise.

"I beg your pardon? If you would just let me explain -" he took a step towards me and I swung the bat with warning.

"I mean it! One more step and I'm facing manslaughter! So, back off!"

He took a slight step back, palms up, but still wore that lovely scowl. The look may have been an attempt to appear upset but it made his lips purse and his eyes sparkle and I found myself nearly overcome with the reminiscent geek girl crush I often felt when I sent my FemShep into Life Support to talk to him.

"I only want to know where I am," his soft voice held the slightest hint of a growl. "A moment ago I was on the Normandy, a star-ship, heading for our last destination in preparation for an attack."

"Yeah, really funny! That's the same place I stopped my game!"

An animalistic huffing noise came from his nose and I realized it was a snort of derision.

Damn, that mask is too real, I thought.

"A game? You view a suicide mission as a simple game?" he asked in an insulted tone. I shook myself out of the awe I was experiencing and laughed bitterly to myself.

"Wh-what? Er, I mean, yes! It's a game!" I pointed to the game case on my coffee table.

"Look, whoever you are, congratulations! You have reached the goal of scaring the shit out of me! Now, please leave before I call the cops!"

I caught a glimpse of white teeth beneath his pink-tones lips and he shook his head, obviously frustrated.

"I don't believe you understand. My squad-mates and I were on the cusp of attacking a group of genetically mutated aliens who had been attacking the galaxy when the pilot announced we had come in contact with a wormhole. I saw a violent flash of white light, a second later I found myself here! I only wish to know where I am and how I can get back to the ship!"

The arguing was beginning to exhaust me and I took a short step away from my protective corner.

Alright, I figured. I'll play along.

"You're in my apartment, in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan. And you're a little early for the Cosplayer Con. That's next month at MSG."

The scowl softened on his face, replaced by a look of disbelief and confusion.

"Manhattan? On Earth?"

"Of course, on Earth! Know of any other planets around here with a Manhattan?" I allowed a weak laugh to squeak out of me. "You're good, man! Let me call the Academy and you'll get an Oscar for sure. Now, please leave –" I pointed the bat to the door and saw that none of my locks had been removed. It was impossible to get in without breaking down the door since I had a lovely collection of dead bolts and sliding pin locks. I then turned to the large windows that made up one wall in my apartment and realized he couldn't have got in that way either. The stairs had yet to be replaced by my super since the original set had nearly rusted away. He could've climbed up the emergency ladder, but again to get into my home would've meant my windows would need to be shattered. Nothing was broken. It was as though he materialized into being.

The bat slipped from my hands once again and a strange mix of amazement and shock overtook me.

"Oh my God!" I looked up at him with utter wonder. His attention went to the game case on my coffee table and he picked it up, sadness etched in his eyes. His fingertips brushed over the surface as he regarded the image with disbelief.

"My face!" he whispered, fingertips going to his cheek. "And Commander Shepard with Miranda Lawson, I- that mission; it was just a few months ago. We were on Tuchanka," his voice faded into silence.

"Oh. My. God! You're for real! You're really, I can't believe I'm about to say this, you're him. Thane Krios!" I stumbled back to my sofa feeling weak and a little sick. I wasn't dreaming and he wasn't some actor paid to prank me. My greatest fantasy had come to life and yet somehow it scared me to death. In what universe was this possible? According to the laws of physics what just happened was in fact IMpossible!

Thane turned to look at me, a resolute regard in his dark eyes.

"What year is this?"

"Uh, t-two thousand eleven," I answered quickly, the fear in my voice gone. He dropped the game case to the floor and continued to stare at the cover for several long seconds.

"I'm in an alternate universe, nearly two hundred years in the past," he settled his focus on me, flashes of deep green glinting against the black sclera. No make-up technique in this age could replicate the effects in those amazing eyes. "What is your name?"

"Sara Davis," I replied.

"Well, Sara Davis, I need find a way back to my plane of existence."

"Yeah, lemme just call Stephen Hawking and Doctor Who and we'll get right on that!" I retorted with sarcasm. Thane recoiled slightly and I suddenly felt guilty for snapping. He was lost and away from those he had come to know and respect, trapped in an alien world. I sighed and dropped my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry; I'm just so damned confused right now. Please, have a seat," I offered and patted the empty cushion next to me. He eyed the sofa with contemplation then focused on the heavily locked exit.

"You wanted me to leave," he reminded. In the background of the quiet of my apartment came the faint sirens of distant police squad cars. Could I actually be that cruel and let an alien, no matter how skilled, wander the streets of New York City with no money, no weapons and no way to get back home? I was too much the bleeding-heart type and immediately decided to let him stay while I figured out a way to return him to 2185.

"Not now. You're welcome to remain here while I find a solution to this, er, situation."

Thane bowed politely, a motion I found so elegant that it made me immediately think of a male ballet dancer receiving praise.

"I am in your debt, Ms. Davis."

"Just call me Sara," I smiled.

O . . . O . . . O

The call button buzzed and I walked to my door to answer it, glancing back quickly at Thane who was quietly exploring his new surroundings.

"Who is it?" I asked as I slid my glasses up my nose.

"Bitch, you know who it is!" Jason's tinny voice echoed in the speaker. "Now, will you please let us up so you can explain to George why we're not going to the farmer's market on account of your emergency?"

I sighed nervously, pushed the security access to the downstairs and unlocked the vast assortment of locks on my door before returning to my coffee. Thane's black eyes narrowed as he focused on the speaker next to the door.

"This man is your friend and yet he has insulted you!" he said with disgust. I swallowed the bite of bacon in my mouth and shrugged.

"He's been a friend long enough he has permission to use insults as jokes," I tried to explain. The drell huffed through his nose followed by a low, wolfish growl of displeasure.

"I don't find such callous words to be amusing. He should treat you with respect."

I was about to explain the odd human practice of "ribbing" when the door was knocked upon, summoning me to answer it. I peeked through the thin crack to see Jason standing next to his partner George. George was the stereotypical Manhattanite with a love for high fashion and pastrami on rye sandwiches from the Carnegie Deli. He was dressed in head to toe Helmut Lang, brilliantly polished Fendi sunglasses hanging from the pocket of his neatly pressed shirt.

I took a deep breath and stepped out, causing poor George to gasp at my disheveled appearance. His hand slapped over his breast and his perfectly shaved jaw dropped open.

"Sara; oh, my stars! You look like you escaped Sheol!" he reached out a hand to try and fix my hair, causing me to involuntarily swat at him. I had claimed a three-foot circumference bubble of empty air around my person I dubbed as "My Space". Unless it was an emergency, or allowed physical contact with another, I didn't like anyone invading my claimed part of the universe.

"Nice to see you, too, George," I grumbled as I attempted to fix my hair.

"So, what's the deal, Sara? Is there really an emergency?" Jason asked in a serious tone. Under George's command he had traded his usual superhero tee-shirt for Ralph Lauren.

"Alright, now, listen up!" I began in a whisper. "What I'm about to show you is NOT a joke and you both have to swear on your lives you won't tell a soul! Got it?"

Jason and George looked at each other with question.

"What's going on?" my friend asked, confused and worried.

"I fucking mean it! I want to hear you say it before I open this door!"

"Or what, Davis?" Jason smirked. "You won't play with me anymore?"

I felt my anger and frustration heat my cheeks to a warm red and I glared at him over the dark rim of my glasses.

"Or else we become members of Witness Protection after we get a lot of visits from the MIB's!" I hissed. George snorted a laugh.

"Oh, sister, sign me up! I always had a thing for Will Smith and those pretty eyes of his."

A finger stabbed towards his nose and I glared darker at his joke.

"Not funny! Swear it, the both of you, now!"

George threw up his manicured hands and nodded quickly.

"I swear, Sara, I swear!"

"Jay?" I turned my attention to him. Jason crossed his heart then covered his left eye with his hand.

"Pinkie Promise," he swore. Satisfied, I nodded and opened my door, leading them inside. Thane stood in the center of my living room and gazed at my friends skeptically. George looked at Jason with honest confusion as his partner began to laugh hysterically, bent double and slapping his knees.

"You hooked up with a cosplayer! Nice! Very, very accurate," he nodded in approval. I sighed and walked back into my kitchen.

"He's not a cosplayer, Jason. It's really HIM!"

"Aw, come on, Davis! This goes way beyond your usual pranks. What's the real story here?" he began to approach the drell, George joining me at the bar. He still looked confused.

"Jason Altman, have you ever in the fourteen years of knowing each other known me to lie to you? It's practically impossible! I swear on my entire being that this IS Thane Krios! Look at him!"

Jason stepped closer and watched the drell glare dangerously at him, the right side of his lips curling slightly. Slowly, as he finally realized that I was indeed telling the truth, Jason's eyes went wide and he stumbled back, falling into one of my arm chairs.

"Holy fucking shit, Sara!" his voice rose about two octaves into a high falsetto. "How the- what the, how did this happen?! This isn't real! It's, I, it can't be! I mean, he's not real, is he? Wow! Oh, oh shit! Oh, my God; the CIA's gonna fucking probe me!" his hand covered his gaping mouth as he continued to stare at Thane. My new houseguest stepped back and looked over at me, disapproving Jason's rant. My head dropped to the bar top and I felt George pat me sympathetically.

"I don't know how it happened, but we have to get him back."

That's when I relayed the story of what all occurred after he left. While I talked I watched as Thane kept pacing around my apartment, examining the myriad of possessions without touching a single thing.

"So, if some kind of wormhole opened up on their side and he showed up here, couldn't that mean you could somehow find that same loop?" Jason suggested. I shook my sleep-deprived head and took the last drink of my coffee. That morning it wasn't helping.

"I haven't a clue. I've been wracking my brain over and over to the point that it hurts to think. The next big question is, if he's here where is the rest of the squad? How do we know they haven't been scattered across the universe or the multiverse apparently?"

Jason looked at me with sobriety, reaching for my hands. I didn't even bother to pull away from his touch.

"Do you know who we need to help us think?"

"Sheldon Cooper?" I snorted.

"No, I'm being serious. We need Mary Brewster. She's a quantum mechanics major from MIT. She turned down a job at CERN just so she could play video games and get paid for it. If anyone would have the slightest clue what to do it would be her."

"I don't know," I muttered as I thought about Mary. She was a quiet, sarcastic type (sort of like me only without the humor) who was obsessed with any real-time strategy game and Purell hand sanitizer. She also dressed like she was eighty.

"Come on, Sara. We need help here. You need help, he needs help!" he motioned towards Thane who was staring at my television with wonder. "What would it hurt?"

Exhausted and out of ideas I shrugged and gave in as I stared at the empty coffee mug in my hands.

"Alright, but no more than her within our ring of confidentiality. That goes for you too, girlfriend!" I pointed to George. He made a pantomime gesture of locking his lips and throwing away the key. I looked back over at Thane who regarded me with a touch of hope in his eyes.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I whispered weakly. Jason patted my hands and smiled.

"Well, for one thing, he's going to need some clothes," George piped up, his dark brown eyes gleaming with excitement.

Great, I thought, George is going to use Thane as his personal mannequin. I'm going to wake up one morning and find that my neck has been snapped.

But George was right, if Thane was going to live here, temporarily, he was going to need something more to wear than just second-skin black leather.

"Fine," I waved an absent hand, which made George light up like the Empire State Building at night.

"We can head to some boutiques after we leave here. What size do you think he is? About a 30x36 in slacks?" he tapped a finger over his lips.

"How would I know? I've never had to buy a man clothes before."

"Not even for Zach?" Jason brought up my last disaster at love, a fellow reviewer who I thought was cute, but proved to have more affection for the animated breasts of the girls from DoA than mine. That was five years ago and I hadn't had a date since.

"Zach thought that sweatpants were appropriate enough to wear to my cousin's wedding. Thankfully, it ended before we could go together."

George grimaced in disgust.

"Well, that gives me a goal to complete," he then leaned in closer, whispering loud enough for only the three of us to hear. Then again, I didn't know how keen Thane's sense of hearing was and he could've heard every word. If he did, he didn't make any gestures to announce his prying. "Is he some kind of alien? Does he talk?"

Jason and I looked at each other, trying to figure out a way to answer him.

"Yes," Jay began, "he is, or well, he's supposed to be a character from a science fiction video game."

"The game I was playing last night," I clarified. George nodded, still looking a bit confused.

"He's one of the characters in the game that a female lead character can fall in love with, and Miss Happy Pants here just happens to favor him over all the other supporting cast."

"Oh, wow! So, this is like a real-life fantasy for you! I'm so excited!" George quietly patted his hands together.

"That makes one of us," I growled. "You two better go before the market closes . But if one of you can swing by a Nike store or someplace that sells athletic gear, I'll reimburse you if you can find something to fit him."

Jason and George rose from their seats, George giving me a quick hug as I showed them to the door.

"We'll get this thing worked out, somehow. Okay?" Jason reassured and I nodded. He then lifted a hand to Thane and waved.

"I'm sorry for acting the fool; I hope I didn't offend you."

Thane bowed his head, eyelids closing as he accepted the apology.

"No harm done," he answered and George's eyes flew open.

"Is that his voice? Oh, my God, that's his voice! How utterly delicious!"

I blushed brightly and shooed them out the door.

"Yep, thanks for the embarrassment, George!" I closed my door and leaned wearily against it. I had a feeling that this was about to become the weirdest and longest weekend of my entire life.


	3. Chapter 3

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental.

Chapter 3: Sunday

I fluffed the pillows and readjusted the blankets on the sofa for probably the twentieth time when at that moment Thane reappeared from the main bathroom free of the leather armor. He seemed a little more foreign to me in the black tee-shirt and dark red gym shorts Jason brought back from the Nike store, but I was nevertheless awestruck. I tried not to gawk at him but couldn't help noticing the lovely tiger-like stripes that swirled and flowed down his muscular arms and legs. He seemed to clutch to the neatly folded leather layers in his arms like an insecure child with a "blankie".

I backed away from the sofa and began to toy with my perpetual ponytail, noticing that I was due for a trim by the split ends I found.

"Are you sure you wouldn't feel more comfortable taking my bed? I've slept on that sofa plenty of times and it won't hurt my feelings," I offered again politely. Thane looked at the sofa then back at me, a faint smile gracing his face. It was a bit overwhelming when I took a second to examine his features. In the flesh, before my eyes, he was a vision of alien beauty. The high ceiling track lights glistened off his spring green scales and I could make out a rainbow-like iridescence swirling over his reptilian skin. His eyes certainly weren't soulless black holes beneath the thick plates of his brow, but huge, brilliantly colored irises in so many shades of emerald and jade they seemed to shimmer like gemstones. The terracotta colored ribbed flesh at his throat and jaw had patent-leathery sheen to it and appeared to be very soft and delicate.

"This is more than generous, Sara. I thank you," he replied softly. I nodded shortly, fidgeting with nervous energy.

"Yeah, sure. Uh, if y-you need anything, feel free to raid the fridge or the cabinets if you get hungry. You're welcome to watch the TV if you get bored, although there really isn't anything interesting on at this time of the night unless you like the news," I realized I was rambling and quickly shut my mouth. I reached for his armload, surprised by just how heavy it really was, and tried not to show my reaction.

"I can store this in my closet until you need it," I started towards my foyer, head down and avoiding his stare. I felt like some stupid, shy, awkward teeny-bopper with a crush on the school's hottest guy. I heard him move a blanket down and sit on the sofa.

"You've been very kind," his voice floated into my ears and I stole a quick glance at him. There was something completely adoring about the way he sat curled around the pillows with the pale pink comforter over his knees and it struck me as rather sad to know he was so lost and far from his fellow squad mates.

"Just trying to be helpful," I shrugged as I began to lock my door. "If you need me during the night I'm just down the hall, up that short flight of stairs," I gestured and started down the direction I pointed.

"Do you need so many?" he asked; eyes on the door with question. I sighed wearily and shrugged.

"This is New York City in the 21st Century. I'm a single woman with a much coveted living space and a few valuables to my name. The locks are only one form of defense. The other is my trusty baseball bat I keep next to my headboard."

"The one you nearly used on me last evening?" he asked and I detected a touch of teasing undertones in his voice. I smiled weakly and felt the familiar rush of guilt come over my conscience.

"Yep, that's the one."

He laid his crested head on one of the pillows and stared up at the ceiling.

"You now have one additional barrier for intruders to cross before they reach you."

The guilt was quickly washed away and replaced by a warm pride in my belly as I thought of my handsome yet deadly assassin guest protecting me through the night.

"I can't expect you to protect me, Thane."

Those faceted, bright pools of black and green snapped over to me and his stoic expression was changed to one of open humility.

"No, you can't, but I shall. I owe you more, but for now I offer you my assistance should you need it."

"Okay, then," I nodded. "Lights on or off?"

"You may turn them off. I can see perfectly in the dark."

"Right. Well, good night," I flipped down the switch to the track lights, leaving only the dim nightlight in my hallway burning.

"Pleasant dreams to you, Sara," I heard him wish me. In the dark I smiled to myself and entered my bedroom, leaving the door opened to just a crack. I was exhausted, bewildered, and never more confused in my entire life. When I slid into bed I felt every muscle in my body screaming for rest. I felt like I could sleep for days. I didn't even hear Thane in the living room, and, in fact, before I fell into a very deep slumber I was convinced that I would wake up and realize that the whole day had been one huge hyper-real dream.

O . . . O . . . O

I woke to the smell of fresh coffee being brewed and bagels toasting and wondered if Jason spent the night as he used to eons ago. But, as I pushed myself up, brushing the tangled mess of hair away from my face I realized that what I had experienced the day before was not a dream.

Thane!

Out in the main area of my apartment was a tall, green, sexy malien who had slept on my sofa.

Ohmigod! He slept on MY sofa!

I nearly fell out of my bed to grab my robe, a very purple plush thing that inspired Jay to call me Grimace anytime I wore it around him, and wrapped it tight around my body, making sure no suggestive body parts were seen. Then I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and shoved my glasses over my face, ready to face my handsome houseguest.

And there he was, standing in my kitchen, with a ruby grapefruit in one hand and my very sharp and very expensive chef's knife in the other. The large black eyes flicked from the monitor of my iBook then back to the round citrus fruit in his grasp as he began to carefully, and skillfully I noticed, peel the skin away, revealing the bright crimson flesh beneath.

"A good morning to you," he greeted, never looking up from segmenting the fruit into an awaiting bowl. My mouth slacked as I tried to speak, still shocked by the fact that he was real.

"Uh, g-good m-morning," I stuttered back, hating myself at that second for lacking any ounce of self-confidence. I watched as he squeezed the rest of the juice into the bowl and place it on my small kitchen table. I quickly rubbed my eyes under my glasses and shook my head to wake myself a little more.

Alright, Sara, are you really seeing this? There is the man (er, drell?) of your dreams, in your kitchen fixing breakfast! What did you do right this time?

"I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries by preparing the morning meal," he spoke over my inner monologue. "I awoke a few hours ago and took the liberty to make myself useful. Perhaps what I have produced is edible," a faint smile played on his lips.

"You can cook?" was the idiot question that came out of my mouth.

"No," he admitted coolly as he smeared a thick layer of Neufchatel on half a poppy seed bagel. "But I did a search on your extranet for a quick course on the subject," one long green finger pointed to my laptop.

"Oh." I was mildly surprised at how he figured out how to navigate through the Internet, since I was sure the holographic console interfaces he was used to were nothing like the technology in this age. Then I thought in horror about what all he saw on Earth's smut-ridden World Wide Web. One stray keystroke could spell disastrous embarrassment for everyone.

"Um, y-you didn't have to do that," I blushed as he handed me a cup of coffee made just how I liked with lots of milk and sugar. I was greatly surprised that he was so observant. Then again, his career required that trait.

"Would it be acceptable if I said that was hungry?" he fluttered his dark eyelids and I involuntarily looked down at my feet.

"That's fair," I nodded and sat at my little kitchen table and noticed that he didn't partake in the coffee. In the game it showed him sitting at a table in his room with a mug next to his hands. "No coffee for you?" I asked as I scooped a few sections of grapefruit onto my plate.

"Drell cannot process caffeine as humans do," he answered. "It affects us in the same way narcotics would you." I nodded in understanding then stopped when it hit me.

Oh, no! I have a very ill person in my presence! I have to get him back to his timeline, and soon!

"Sara?" his voice brought me out of the disturbing thought.

"Your disease, you're going to need some kind of medication, I take it," I said with trepidation. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject without sounding like a fool. Thane stood from his seat and picked up a sheet of paper from the bar, placing it before me. It was a list of herbal supplements written in a script so lovely it could've been calligraphy.

"I normally drink a simple tisane made of medicinal components. However, there are a few items not available on Earth, so I searched for acceptable substitutes. It appears those on the list are easy to find. This is all I ask of you to supply me with, if I am to stay here until a solution to this situation has been found."

I read over the list and knew I could find them all at a health-food store. There was a fairly large shop only a few blocks away and it wouldn't take me long to purchase the items and return in a short time.

"No problem; I'm happy to help," I smiled weakly and went on to finish my breakfast while we talked about pointless subjects, mostly questions from him about the city and my job as a game reviewer. When that ended I took a quick shower, threw on a shirt and jeans, pulled my hair back into a half-damp ponytail and tied my trusty red Chuck Taylors on my feet. I grabbed my handbag and announced to Thane that I was heading down the street for the tea ingredients. He quickly rose to his feet and bowed to me before I walked out the door. As I rushed down the stairs I smiled widely. He seemed to be a rather polite and grateful person. It still astounded me that he was actually tangible and he was in MY presence. So far, Sunday was proving to be a better day. At least, it was.

But then I saw Stephanie.

My downstairs neighbor was a mid-forties divorcee living off the alimony she "won" from her ex-husband, a hefty settlement she was proud to declare was around a cool five million dollars. She had nothing better to do than pamper her horrible little Maltese named Fairest Lady Mila Magdalena (or Princess for short), shop along 5th Avenue, and pry into other's lives. The story of how the animal got her unfortunate name was one I was the least bit interested in hearing, and talking to Stephanie altogether was never an anticipated event. I tried to be polite but I also tried to avoid her like The Plague. My life or a lack of one thereof was none of her business.

"Sara! Dahling!" she waved a freshly manicured and ring bespangled hand at me, Cartier diamonds glinting in the morning sun. "Good morning, my dear"

Under her thin, cashmere cardigan arm was the small white monster, yapping madly at me, teeth bared with menace.

"Good morning, Stephanie," I waved and tried to ignore any additional conversation by staring down at the list, still admiring the gliding yet sharply pointed words dancing over the paper. I thought I had made it out of the "danger zone". I was so wrong.

"Oh, Sara," that pontificating, refined, Mid-Atlantic accented voice tore away my concentration in the same way a needle rips over the grooves on a vinyl record. My eyes widened involuntarily but I blinked them back to normality before I turned on my sneakered heels. She was already jogging towards me in a pair of goldenrod yellow Tory Burch flats.

I have the same damn shoes, I thought sadly.

I fought to put a polite smile on my face while her terrible puppet continued to snarl and yip; a smile I knew was all too practiced for any normal person to know it wasn't sincere. Stephanie wasn't, in my opinion, normal. At least, not my kind of normal, and she would never notice the difference anyway since she was so self-absorbed.

"Something I can do for you?" I asked. Stephanie dropped Princess to the sidewalk, allowing her to begin sniffing my shoes. I promptly stepped back, trying with all my might not to let the snarl I felt tug at my face be revealed.

"I wanted to ask you a question," she began which was code for "I'm about to dig into your privacy because I'm a nosy gossip."

"Okay."

"Well, the other night I awoke to some yelling that I was sure was coming from your apartment, since yours is the ONLY apartment on the top floor. It sounded like your voice. Is everything alright with you?" falsie lashes batted at me.

Of course, she's wearing more make-up than an acrobat in Cirque du Soleil, I said to myself with some amusement. Why wouldn't she wear the entire counter's worth of Lancome on her Botox'ed face at 8:30 on a Sunday morning?

"I'm just fine, as you can see," I really did try not to sound sarcastic, but my dull voice just wasn't designed to feign excitement.

"But, I heard more than one voice," she dug deeper. "I heard a man's voice."

Shit! Come on, Sara! Think of a decent lie. Even though you are the worst liar in the world, this is Stephanie after all and you're smart enough to fool her!

"D-do you mean F-Friday night?" I asked, blinking way too quickly. She nodded and grinned with those silicone-enhanced lips.

"Yes, actually."

"Oh, uh, I had been testing a new game and I guess I had my volume up a little high on my sound system. Sorry about that," I shrugged. Her smile began to fade, although it was kinda hard to tell due to the amount of cosmetic surgery she obviously had done to herself.

"Oh. I assumed that maybe you had a visitor."

"W-well, my friend Jason, but that was earlier in the evening."

"No, not the blond man. This voice sounded richer, deeper."

She was really trying. Poor, bored thing; it must've been torturous to never get anything juicy about me to spread around to her "Ladies who Lunch" club.

"Nope." Good work, Pinocchio! Just how long is your nose now?

Stephanie stared at me in disbelief for a second while I simply smiled like the idiot I felt like until she took a step back and retrieve Princess back into her embrace.

"You know, Sara, you're a pretty woman. In fact, if you took the time to dress in something other than blue jeans and put a little make-up on your face you'd be lovely."

I sighed and felt depressed over that fact. Never in my life did I ever consider myself to be anything but cute. That's how most guys described me anyway. I was never beautiful or striking or gorgeous or sexy; I was always the cute girl. Cute was a term reserved for teddy bears or cherubesque babies or hedgehogs getting bathed on Youtube. Guys never wanted to date the "cute" chick. They wanted the six-foot tall Mediterranean goddess who made dirty concert tee-shirts look like lacy lingerie from Victoria's Secret. I made a dirty concert tee-shirt look like just that. I never thought there was any part of my face (or my body) that was all that pretty. My eyes were a nondescript grey, my cheeks had no definition, and my lips were neither full nor thin. I saw no reason to try and enhance anything about me since there was nothing to enhance.

"I don't have enough time to be lovely," I grumbled, tired of hiding my annoyance for the woman.

"Oh, sure you do! I could give you a few tips!"

Like how to marry a rich entrepreneur and get rid of him a few years later claiming he had an affair just to score some dough, I wanted to say. But, the welcome mat that I was, I simply dropped my head and started to walk past her, hands shoved in my pockets.

"No, thank you."

I felt worse than before I started talking to her. Deep down, I was incredibly lonely, even if I did have good friends like Jason and George and even a couple of guys at the magazine. But that's all they ever were; friends. I got tired of coming home to an empty apartment with no one to share silly stories with or to vent to when I was angry. And while I did joke around with Jay about not being sexually frustrated there were moments when it hurt not to feel the warmth of a masculine body against mine in bed. I began to wonder in my self-loathing if I was doomed to be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Vogue magazine, Nintendo and/or any game or character owned by them, Barbie, X-Box or Playstation gaming systems, and the awesome duo that is Hall and Oates. I also think drell would look spectacular in designer clothes (see below for my reason)!

Chapter 4: Sunday Continuing (or how to annoy a single woman from the south living in the north)

I decided to pick up some extra groceries while I was out then headed back to my apartment, thankful Stephanie was nowhere to be seen. I juggled with my keys as I climbed the four flights of stairs to my home and stopped dead in my tracks when I heard voices coming from inside.

_ Oh, no!_ I began to panic. _The government discovered I'm harboring an alien and are going to perform a vivisection on him!_

The bags fell from my hands and I fumbled with the door knob as my heart raced inside my ribcage. After about five tries I finally unlocked the door and pushed into my apartment to be met by three surprised stares, two of them human and very familiar.

"Sara? You okay?" Jason asked from my sofa. I placed a hand over my calming heart and began to put the fallen groceries back into their bags when there were two extra hands before me, long, graceful fingers a soft green shade grabbed the bags off the floor before offering to help me up from my crouch. I looked into the vibrant emerald eyes and felt the instinct to look back down at my feet, cheeks once again turning red.

"Th-thank you," I muttered, taken back by just how soft and warm his hands turned out to be. I didn't know what to expect. I supposed, maybe, some kind of reptilian, lizard-like texture, but the feel of his skin was unlike anything I could compare it to. The closest thing would probably be extremely fine Italian kid leather, somewhere between suede and silk.

He let go once I was inside my home, placing the bags onto the bar. I looked down at my hand, still feeling the resonating touch swim just beneath the surface of my skin. Jason approached me and smiled with knowing, ever the observant shmuck that made him my best friend.

"Sara smile! Oh, woncha smile a while for me?" he began to sing that old Hall and Oates song, causing me to glare at him.

"You're a real idiot, y'know that?"

"Yeah, but you love me, so it's okay," he laughed.

"You couldn't call to say you were coming over?" I admonished as I relocked my door.

"Have I ever phoned you? Besides, I hit the call button downstairs and he thought you wouldn't mind us coming up," he shrugged as he motioned to the drell who, along with George, was beginning to put away the groceries. I nodded in agreement. Jason's grin returned as he elbowed me gently in my shoulder.

"Awful chivalrous, isn't he? Helping the fair maiden to her feet," he teased.

"Shut up, dude."

"He's really a nice guy. We'd been talking to him for about ten minutes before you came through the door all anxiety-stricken. According to him he'd been on the Normandy close to a full year."

"Yeah, he said the same thing to me," I replied and hung my handbag on the door knob to my coat closet.

"So, how'd it go last night?" I detected the suggestive tone in his voice and gave him another one of my signature scowls which really did nothing but make me look like I had something in my eye.

"It went fine! He slept on the sofa, since you seem to be so interested." Over my irritated whispers I could hear George chattering away about his important position of assistant curator at MoMA. Thane seemed to be listening politely, dark eyes fluttering as he caught me watching him.

"Did you get a hold of Mary Brewster yet?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"No, not yet. I called her yesterday when we left here and gave her a message. It was, albeit, vague, but I did mention that it was of upmost importance. Hopefully, she'll get back to one of us soon. Which brings up the next question; what are you going to do about work?"

I sighed and readjusted my glasses.

"I haven't thought that far in advance. I have a few personal days I can use up, keep working on a way to get him back to his world. We're dealing with a chronically ill man, remember?"

"Yes, I do. But, well, if you are going to have him here for a while, you can make light of the time. I mean, you and him will be alone, in this apartment, with nothing to do but wait," another cheeky smile pulled on Jay's face. I felt my eyes widen and I slowly shook my head at him

"So not cool," I admonished as I walked away from his side and into my kitchen. I began to pour water into my tea kettle, watching Thane carefully measure out the herbs for his drink.

"Will that work?" I asked.

"Perfectly; I thank you again," the dark eyes sparkled as a faint smile pulled at the corners of his lips. I shrugged nonchalantly and tried not to blush (epic fail!).

"No problem."

From the corner of my eye I saw Jason and George look at each other nearly giggling. As Thane turned his back to me I made a quick motion across my neck for my friends to "cut it out".

"So," George began, clapping his hands as he approached the sofa. "I found a few things I hope will work. I just couldn't help myself!" he squealed.

On one cushion was a paper bag with the Barneys logo embossed on the front. God forbid he ever step foot into Macy's and touch a pair of Levi's. From the large black bag he produced a plethora of such fine apparel I was almost afraid to breathe around them. Yes, I had a rather nice collection of designer shoes and bags to my name, but leather could be wiped off. Cotton and other delicate fabrics could stain which was why the majority of my personal clothing came from department stores.

Thane approached with a steaming mug in his grasp, the scent of peppermint and rosemary wafting in the air. He eyed the collection of poplin cotton button-up shirts, dark indigo jeans, and dress slacks with some interest as George spoke of his findings with giddy pride.

"I found some cashmere vests, a couple of belts, a few polo shirts, and, and I am assuming, appropriate undergarments!" he held up a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, embarrassed by both George's excitement and the fact that for a split second I could actually envision Thane sauntering through my living room wearing ONLY the underwear.

"You're blushing, Davis," Jason snickered. I was just about to scold him for drawing attention to my discomfort when, thankfully, my phone rang. My relief quickly ended when I noticed the number and the image of the caller on my screen and I inwardly groaned. The woman had short, teased, bright red hair (obviously dyed), wire-rimmed glasses with an apparent bifocal line in the lenses, a very wide smile, and a hideous, appliqué sweater covered with kittens playing with balls of yarn. Her name was Dolores Davis and she was my mother.

Slowly, I placed my iPhone to my ear and anticipated the inevitable, high-pitched, thickly accented southern drawl of her voice.

"Hullo?"

"Well, hi, suga pie! Ah haven't heard from ya in a while," she began, a little too eager. "A while" to my crazy, old-fashioned, overly sweet mom could be defined as anywhere between five minutes and five years. It had only been three days since last we spoke. "Jest thawt Ah'd call ya and see how yer doin'."

"I'm doing just fine, as always, Mom," I said and watched Jason snap his head in my direction, another wicked grin on his face. George turned around as well and began shouting.

"Hello, Dolores! Thanks for the birthday card!"

"Aww, wuz that mah little Georgie Peach?" she cooed. "You tell him Ah said 'he's welcome'!"

"She said 'yer welcome,'" I relayed, allowing my normally dormant accent to come out.

"Now, Sara Lynn, Ah've heard ya got some kinda column in a big, faincy magazine coming up in a couple of months fer some kinda game ya'll been werkin' on up there. Wut wuz it now, Consumer Reports?" I shook my head, really disliking any time she tried to talk to me about my work. She would never understand technology, especially the world of video games, and it hurt to try and explain it to her. I was starting to feel a migraine coming on and it hadn't even been two minutes worth of conversation.

"Yes, the column was in Consumer Reports –"

"You would think that a braight, successful woman as yerself would have a man ta help her celebrate? Y'know, take you to a naice restaurant, with flowers," she suggested. I dropped my chin to my chest and sighed wearily. I knew that somehow she would bring up my nearly perpetual single status.

"Mother, I don't need a boyfriend," I tried to say calmly.

"Sara, yer a smart girl, and yer on that there internets thang, and Ah heard that there's all these onlaine datin' sites. Maybe you could check out that eHarmony place. Ma neighbor's boy, Jared, you remember him, raight? Well, he's on there. He's workin' fer his daddy now at that big law firm in Charleston."

Oh, did I remember Jared! He was one of the biggest jocks in my class and refused to look at any girl who wasn't a cheerleader. He also liked to throw spit balls at me and my friends. Graduation day was one of the happiest days of my life because I knew I would never have to deal with him again. I guess she forgot that he made my life in high school a living hell.

"I'm perfectly fine being single in the largest city in the Union. I don't need to date a Charleston attorney's son. Especially him!" I said pointedly. But my mother was relentless and simply wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

"Why not? He heard that yer a pretty important writer now. He asked about ya and Ah told him that yer not seeing anyone."

Oh, God, I wanted to scream. I drummed my nails over my cheek and took a deep breath. It never did any good getting angry at her. She always found some way to turn our arguments into my fault.

"Not interested, thanks."

At that statement George and Jason looked at each other, George giving his partner a little wink. Thane also seemed to perk up, a pair of the black cotton briefs in one hand.

"She is alone?" I heard him ask Jason to which caused my friend to nod happily. I silently prayed that God would send a black hole into my apartment and suck me into oblivion.

"Did Ah hear someone in the background?" my mother asked gleefully. I actually face-palmed myself; still wishing for that rogue black hole to show up at any second.

"No, it's a, uh, a show on TV," I lied weakly. I caught Jason's eyes twinkling as he laughed softly. I abruptly turned my back to him, one arm curled protectively around my middle as I continued to endure the phone call.

"Well, if yer not interested in a feller at the moment, it doesn't mean you cain't leave yerself open ta opportunities," finally, she used her superpower against me; guilt! Under most circumstances the amazing ability to make me do anything she wanted by enforcing guilt upon me was inevitable. However, after hearing her harp on and on during nearly every conversation about how I needed male companionship had finally reached the breaking point.

"Mother, I am not going on to eHarmony! This discussion is now over!"

I heard my mom sigh a long-winded submission that was overly dramatic was also a guilt-tactic.

"Faine. So, how's laife in the Big City? Still Sodom and Gomorrah?"

I had been living in New York for close to fifteen years and yet she still refused to see it as my permanent home. From the moment I stepped foot in the city's limit on my first day of college I fell in love with the chaotic lifestyle. It was so different from the quiet of the South, and, I admit, at times I missed my home in South Carolina, but I knew somehow I belonged to New York despite what my accent sounded like.

"You bet!" I retorted. " And it's just a sect pool of modern civilization, doncha know? In fact, I just had my first Dungeon Room installed and I can finally begin my second job as a Dominatrix!"

My mother gasped in shock, feigned I was sure, and began to scold me.

"Sara Lynn, that's not naice!"

"Well, come on, Mom! This is where I live. If you want to start an argument about whose home is weirder, I heard that it's still legal to marry your first cousin in good ole South Carolina."

"No one does that anymore!" she snapped quickly and I just had to laugh. Score one point Sara! The conversation continued where I asked about my father and my younger brother Brian, a general practitioner MD, and my baby sister Penny who was "between jobs". I mentioned I would come down for a visit in the summer during my two week vacation, mainly to see my dad for his birthday.

"Maybe Ah could let Jared know you'll be comin' in," she suggested in a slick voice. I had to hand it to her, she was persistent.

"Oh, uh, gee, Mom, I-cn't ea-ou, damn these faulty city cell towers! What's th- I – er," I tried to sound like my reception was dying, even though it was perfect.

"Sara, did you hear me?"

"Nope, sorry. I gotta go, Mom. My first customer just came in for a spanking. "

"Sara Lynn, Ah heard that!"

"Yep, I love you, too," I hung up the phone and felt like I needed to crawl back into bed. I was humiliated, which should've been nothing new. I tossed the phone onto my coffee table like it had bit me and shook my head. She may mean well, but she could be so damned annoying! I hated lying to her but her constant nagging and prying into my privacy took me to a dark place, which really wasn't as dark as I considered. According to Jason my inner Darth Vader was more like a pissed off cat planning revenge at a later date than a psychopath with a murderous bucket list. That comment made me place a ketchup-doused rubber mouse on his desk one day. He laughed so hard he fell to the floor. He also kept the mouse after he washed off the ketchup.

"Hey, Sara," his voice carried over my exhausted, distracted brain. I turned around and fought to keep my jaw from dropping open. What I wanted to do was howl like some crazy cartoon wolf with my heart pounding out of my chest. However, I dropped my gaze to the floor and pushed my glasses back up my nose.

He was dressed in a pale blue button up shirt with white cuffs rolled up to his elbows, dark grey slacks, and soft black leather loafers. He looked amazing, like Vogue editorial amazing. The only thing that was missing was a runway and loud house music pulsing away through my speakers. George made a quick adjustment to the open collar and stepped back to admire his work, a satisfied smile on his face.

"I think Miuccia Prada would be a quite pleased."

Thane smoothed a rogue wrinkle along the button line and I had to fight to breathe when his sight settled on me to seek approval.

"Qu-quite," I nodded shortly. A harsh clap on my back brought me to reality and I caught the impish twinkle in Jason's eyes.

"Well, we hate to take off, but we have to be at my mom's house for lunch," he said as he grabbed his jacket from my coat closet, handing George's over as well.

"Right," I smiled weakly as I led them to the foyer. "Say hello to her for me. I know she won't try to fix me up."

Jason tugged on my ponytail and smiled in agreement.

"Yeah, Moms is pretty cool. I'll call you when we get home," they began out of the door.

"Have fun," I waved, watched them exit, and then turned my attention to the pile of clothes on my sofa. George certainly didn't spare any expense, I noticed, and I knew that somehow I had to pay him back. I knew he wouldn't take any money from me so I began to concoct a fine dinner in my brain.

Before I went on to get my Masters in journalism I spent a couple of years in France at Le Cordon Bleu earning my chef's toque. If I wanted to I could've open a restaurant and probably become somewhat successful, but after I returned to the states I decided to keep that skill as a back-up plan if I didn't find a career as a journalist. Thankfully, Gamers' Haven was just beginning that year, and while it was a small, somewhat insignificant periodical at the time the world of video games was about to sky-rocket thanks to platforms such as the X-Box and the Playstation systems. No longer were games only for the super geeky types, but they stretched the gamut from simple puzzles to hard-core first person shooters and everywhere in between. I was one of a handful of female game reviewers and thanks to the magazine had a small following of loyal readers who took my words to heart.

From the time I was a kid I loved to play games; my love for the genre beginning with the Nintendo Entertainment System. I was the odd ball girl who favored spending my afternoons with Mario and Mega Man instead of Barbie. Most of my friends were like me, a little odd but we all shared a love for games or comics or science fiction shows and movies. I still stayed in touch with a few in my class, most of them became readers of the magazine when they learned I became a contributor and later, within a couple of years, one of the top reviewers.

"Your friends are lovely people," Thane's voice pulled me out of my reminiscing. A genuine, pleased smile curled up my lips and I nodded in agreement, placing the garments back into the bag.

"Yes, they are," I answered and made eye contact with him. For a moment I was lost and in utter awe of his presence. I was amazed by the juxtaposition that was Thane. Before me was a man who had been trained by the Hanar government to be a heartless, relentless assassin; a nameless figure with the ability to kill without as much as a single blink from his eyes. And yet, to me, he seemed so gentle and so unobtrusive. His manner was refined and polite, his words pure poetry. I couldn't imagine those soft, tender hands having the capability to snap necks. Somehow to me it seemed so wrong to think of him as a hitman. He could've been a philosopher or a teacher, but he was chosen to perform a necessary task.

From that moment on I chose to view Thane as others in his past failed to see him; not as a skilled weapon but as a person with real emotions and real needs. I chose to give him what he deserved; a friend who valued him for simply being alive.

I bit on my lips to keep the tears away from my eyes and smiled.

"So, how does salmon sound for lunch?" I asked, wondering if he even liked fish. I watched as a smile broke on his face; first a simple upward turn on his lips, then a flashy revealing of pearly white, flat teeth. It was so beautiful I nearly became a puddle of goo on my floor.

"It sounds wonderful, Sara."


	5. Chapter 5

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Barbie doll, Skyrim, Settlers of Catan games, any Disney movie based on silly mad scientists (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, for example), or any phonetic sounds insinuating bad porn music from the end of the 20th Century. The following chapter does not have any pornographic scenes described, however (sorry).

Chapter 5: Monday

I discovered that, while he did sleep during most of the night, Thane had a tendency to wake hours before the sun rose. What he actually did, I wasn't quite sure because he was so quiet. The only way I discovered that fact was the sound of my kettle boiling on my gas range as he prepared his tea. He never turned the television on or bothered to listen to any music, which I offered my collection of Classical catalogues the night before if he happened to get bored. I did know that he found the small shelf full of books in the living room. I had a massive amount of reading material in my bedroom. One wall, in fact, was filled from floor to ceiling with all sorts of books, novels, story collections, even some odd-ball references that I hadn't thrown out since my college days.

I assumed that he simply found a book, curled onto a chair or back under his covers, and read as he sipped his tea, or meditated, or purposefully lost himself in a memory to avoid boredom. When Monday came I decided that I needed to make an appearance at work, at least for a few moments, to track down Mary who hadn't called me the night before. I showered, dressed in my typical uniform of super geek chic tee-shirt, dark blue jeans, and whatever shoe I felt like wearing (Mondays were never a great day for me and I usually opted for something fun and gaudy). If anything, the guys at work got a kick out of seeing me traipse down the hall in Barbie Pink Jimmy Choos.

Thane was, that morning, perched on the window-length bench, sitting cross-legged with my copy of Utopia in his hands. Without looking up he greeted me pleasantly. He was already dressed, choosing to wear jeans with a v-neck sweater that day. I had to bite my lip to keep from sputtering idiotic stutters and groans of girlish approval. I returned his kindness and grabbed a tangerine to take with me on my way to work. I had a bad habit of hitting the snooze button on my alarm, but I was never late; it just made it nearly impossible to make myself breakfast on weekdays, leaving my options to either a bakery on the way or hope that some kind soul decided to splurge and bring some pastries to the rest of us malnourished fools.

I quickly jotted down my email address and the extension line for my office and placed in on the bar, quickly explaining that I hoped to be back in a couple of hours. At that announcement, he leapt up from his seat and rushed to the door, already unlocking it much to my amazement. I snapped my mouth shut and tried to smile as he held the door open for me. Jason was right, he was very chivalrous. Not something one would expect from someone who was proclaimed as perhaps the deadliest individual in the galaxy; at least that is what the dialogue mentioned in Mass Effect. It actually wasn't a stretch to imagine "Sir" Thane in a full suit of shining silver armor astride a white horse.

_ Okay, time for coffee, Sara. It's way too early to start fantasizing about silly fairy tales taking over your uneventful life._

"Thanks," I said, throwing a fedora over my head to avoid the cool mist that hung in the air that morning. Again, before I could reach out my hand, he had produced my Burberry trench from the closet, holding it up to help me put it on.

_ Humor the guy, you weirdo! Let him act like the gentleman you've always dreamed of having in your presence!_

I shrugged on the coat and felt my cheeks warm as I tied the belt around my waist. I still couldn't look him in the eye without feeling crazy, starved butterflies swarming in my guts.

"If, er, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call, okay? I can be back here in about a half hour, maybe shorter if the cabbie is a competent driver."

"Of course, Siha," he purred. My head snapped up, eyes wide in shock

"What?" I squeaked.

_Did he just call me what I think he called me?!_

"Of course, Sara," he repeated and my racing heart dropped some. I nodded, feeling sheepish and stupid for assuming that he would ever grace me with such a lovely name. I let him close the door and heard him relock it as I stood in the alcove, nervous that he would be alone in my home. Then again, if anyone could take care of himself in this city it would be him. And so I began my usual weekday routine of braving the morning traffic of Manhattan to grab my Starbucks then heading to the magazine headquarters.

O . . . O . . . O

"How'd you sleep?" Jason asked over Skyrim. I grunted over my noisy, quick-paced typing, not really giving him a definite answer. Jason and I shared an office, partly because space on our floor was a bit cramped, but also because our Editor-in-Chief Al got a kick out us working together. We had a decent sized area, with our nice collection of currently played games, every commercial console on the market, and a plasma-screen TV; even made it a little homier with posters and pictures. That morning as I walked into the office, five minutes later than he, I just happen to notice the large framed lithograph of Thane on my side of the office. On the glass was a post-it note with the words written in black sharpie ink "I love you, Sara!" enclosed in a comic-style dialogue bubble.

An early birthday present, he announced when I asked where the poster came from. I sank into my chair slowly, avoiding him for a few moments as I tried to keep myself busy and NOT look up at the rather realistic image above my head of my houseguest.

"And how'd HE sleep?" I could hear the crooked grin in his voice. I peered over my monitor and glared at him, shaking my head in disapproval of his suggestion.

"Still on your sofa? Tsk, tsk! For shame, Davis! I figured you'd have moved him into your bed by now, after seeing the way you ogled over his fine ass in Prada yesterday."

"Have you no tact?" I asked in a dark grumble.

"I'm just having a little fun with you, but I am a being serious. You have the opportunity of a lifetime and you're acting like some virginal prude around him. 'Oh, I really would like to have sex with you, Thane, but I have absolutely no capability to make the first move, or the second, or the third,'"

"Dude, really! Grow up!" I chided as I finished my coffee. Jason paused his game and turned in his chair to face me, a resolute expression replacing his smile.

"Alright, Sara, just stop and think about all of this. He shows up in a strange place, comes face to face with a freaked out but pretty chick who instead of kicking him onto the streets allows him to stay, displaying a sense of trust that he probably has never encountered so readily from anyone."

"Pretty? Really?" I snorted. Jason's brow lowered over his eyes.

"Continuing," he cleared his throat. "You are being overly generous, and, if I'm remembering the game content right, it pretty much plays on the fact that he's lonely. He has no real friends and you've become just that. If I were him I'd be doing everything in my power to get you to notice me. And, you have to admit this, you're lonely, too. Don't shake your head at me, Chicky! I've been your friend long enough to know that you try to hide behind some metaphorical wall so you won't let people see that you're hurting.

"You are the ultimate paragon, even if you do give the construction hooligans the finger when they cat-call at you. Two lonely souls cross paths; I'm betting that before long, if he has anything to say about it, there will be some hot, green malien sexy times in store for you," his grin returned and I shook my head in disbelief.

"You're not thinking about this situation realistically."

"YOU're not thinking about this as it really is. I have witnessed the way he stares at you, dark eyelids fluttering at you when you speak. He's going to fall in love with you."

"Ha!" I coughed a laugh. "Bullshit!"

"I love you," he batted his lashes at me and my frustration began to fade some.

"Yeah, but you're like my brother."

"This is true. But, mark my words, my love, you keep acting as kind to him as you have been and he'll be on his knees reciting poetry."

"Jason," I snorted a giggle. Jason threw his head back; hand flopped onto his forehead as he began to wail in a bad British accent.

"Oh, Sara, my Sara! How I love thee! Let me show you the ways! Bow-chikka-wow-wow!" he sang a spoof of bad '70's porn music.

"You need a new hobby instead of teasing the hell out of me."

"You need sex; preferably, sex with him!" he pointed up to the lithograph and I blushed again.

"I will not use him like that. I have too much respect for him," I began to type up my review again, hoping the subject would be dropped.

"And that is why he'll be begging you to love him."

Mary was nowhere to be seen that day and I went ahead and left her an email in her personal account box. After I finished my review and played a couple rounds of the latest Gears of War game I packed up and left for my apartment.

On my way home I decided to stop and purchase some items for dinner. It had been a long time since I made anything decent and I had a hankering for seared lamb chops. I had absolutely no idea if Thane would even eat it, but I figured I would give it a shot. Again, I was greeted at my door by my gallant "knight", hands taking the bags from my arms to allow me to enter. I thanked him again as I hung my coat in my closet.

Suddenly, I began to notice something odd. The air in my apartment had a different smell. I was never big on candles or diffusers, mainly due to the fact that I often suffered migraines and certain scents triggered them, but the empty space of my home had a very distinct if subtle aroma. It smelled like rich vanilla, cardamom, and woodsy musk. It was as though someone had been wearing the best smelling men's cologne ever and walked out a few hours before I arrived. But I had never smelled any fragrance even close to the intoxicating wafting air that circulated in my apartment. It made me feel – strange, a little turned on, actually.

I dismissed the odd thought and went towards my kitchen where Thane had already begun to unpack the bags, items organized in neat lines along the bar.

"Are you expecting your friends this evening?" he asked as I opened the package of lamb chops and began to season them.

"No, not this evening," I replied. "Just, er, just us."

"Oh," he sounded surprised. He sat down and folded his hands under his chin as he watched me work, chef's knife flying over my cutting board as I chopped the mint and basil for a fresh pesto sauce.

"Is this a special occasion?" his voice rumbled softly.

"No. Unless you want to say it's the third Monday of February and 'why not'."

Thane chuckled quietly, a deep, sensual sound that made goose bumps crawl up my spine and I stopped my knife before I sliced my finger off my hand.

"You eat meat, I'm assuming," I turned towards my refrigerator in hopes of hiding my flushed face (ugh, you juvenile dummy! Grow the fuck up!).

"I do. I try to keep my mind open to different cultures and their offered cuisines. But I have found that I'm not too fond of Krogan faire," he answered. I wrinkled my nose at the thought, not wanting to know what the large, reptilian species liked to stuff down their gullets.

"I won't ask."

There was a comfortable silence between us as I trimmed the fat on the chops. I didn't even realize he was watching so intently until he spoke up again.

"You are quite skilled with a blade," he complimented. I looked up from my knife to see those shimmering eyes locked on mine and I swore that I heard the quietest purr coming from him.

"Uh, eighteen months at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris and four months of apprenticeship in Marseille you learn quickly that they keep their knives very sharp and always honed."

I didn't even want to know how he used a knife; I had a pretty good idea. I swatted the disturbing thought out of my head and continued to prepare the dinner, going for a bottle of Zinfandel in my small collection to make a pan sauce later.

"Is that why you have a scar on your wrist?"

I looked down at my left wrist and felt a strange pain rip through my gut. Seventeen years and the damned mark still looked fresh in my eyes. No one really knew about it or how I got it. I never even told Jason and he knew all about me.

"N-no. I, er, it w-wasn't from my schooling there," my voice fell into a cold, quiet dismissive tone. I thought he would ignore the subject but I discovered that Thane was persistent when it came to his curiosity.

"What happen to you?" his soft voice ripped through my memories. I found myself once again fifteen and sitting in the tub, my father's straight razor in my right hand as I sliced open my left wrist vertically, watching the dark red blood pool on the clean white enamel as I waited to die. My father was banging on the door after I heard him call for me. He broke it down and I smiled weakly, my body growing cold, as he dropped to his knees in horror.

"Jesus Christ, Sara! What have you done?" tears dripped down his bearded face. He scooped me out of the tub, tying his tie around my arm despite my howling protests. He rushed me to the hospital where I ended up spending a few days to endure blood transfusions and psychiatric help for my depression. He never asked me why I wanted to kill myself. He knew.

"I attempted suicide," I answered Thane, returning to the present.

"Why?" the deep, gravelling voice was hypnotic and lured me to open the old wound.

"My best friend at the time died in a car accident. I was overly distraught and I did the only thing I could think to do. I didn't want to live," I averted my eyes to the ceiling and tried to breathe, blinking back the stinging tears.

"My father found me and I was nearly passed out from the lack of blood. I did a few sketchy things in my past as a stupid kid; smoked pot, snuck alcohol into school, but that was the worst. And it was the last thing I ever did to hurt myself," I looked down at the scar and smiled. It was a reminder that I was still alive, and though I may have been a boring, nerdy, silly, unconventional woman, I still had my life and my health and I was thankful I at least had that to count on.

"Twenty stitches and a few years of counseling and it still hurts," I whispered. "She was a really good person who didn't deserve to die."

I watched in shock as Thane took my left hand into his, fingers curling around mine, and very gently kissed the top. It was the sweetest motion anyone had ever done to consul me.

"Too few ever live to get what they deserve," he replied. I nodded in agreement, one tear sliding down my cheek.

"How true."

O . . . O . . . O

Later that evening my call button buzzed and I rushed to answer it. Thane seemed vaguely interested and continued to read as he sipped from his glass of wine.

"Yes?" I answered.

"It's Mary Brewster," a whiny, nasally alto echoed in the speaker. "Jason Altman said you needed speak with me along with the email I received from you today. Both messages repeated that it was up upmost importance."

I sighed and looked down at my feet. Would she believe this?

"Meet me in the alcove before my door," I said and pushed the door button to allow her entrance into the building. I took another look at Thane who still showed no curiosity. I rushed out my door and waited for Mary.

She was about three inches taller than me and always wore some kind of beige garment on her person, usually a cardigan that looked like it had been pulled from some grandmother's moth-ball ridden closet. Her red hair was cut to her chin and was never styled in any way. She and I were the only women who worked as columnists and reviewers for the magazine, and we were nothing alike. If I identified myself as a geeky chick then Mary was the female version of Rick Moranis' character from "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids". She was a whole different kind of weird.

"Sara Davis," she greeted with a short nod.

"Mary," I returned, hoping to sound pleasant.

"Can we skip the niceties and get to the problem? I have a Settlers of Catan group coming over at eight tonight."

_ Niceties?!_

"Okay," I shrugged and showed her into my apartment. She looked upon my houseguest and him at her as he stood to his feet politely, hands folded behind his back. She stared at him for a moment, no expression whatsoever on her face. I was waiting for either some poking at my pride, similar to what Jason did at first, or a shrill scream before she bolted for the door. But neither happened and she turned to me, her features still plain and blank.

"That's Thane Krios from the Mass Effect Universe," she said dully.

"Yes, it is," I nodded.

"Hmm, surprising," she rubbed her pointy chin.

"Yes," I agreed still.

"How'd he get here?"

"I'm not altogether sure."

"That's why you called me, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Mary approached him and stared at my guest as though she was about to begin some kind of study. Thane looked over at me, his brow plates rose in what I interpreted as worry.

"Uh, Mary, he's not a specimen. He's a real person," I said in hopes of calming his discomfort. Mary took a small step back and nodded in agreement.

"My bad. Does he speak English?" She approached him even closer, her nose nearly against his as she looked into his eyes. I waited for the sound of vertebrae in her neck to snap.

"Yes, he does," Thane replied calmly and she nearly stumbled back, her face flushed pink.

"Oh, I see. And quite well, too. My apologies. Mary Brewster," she stuck out her hand. "Sara and I are co-workers." Thane accepted her greeting and even bowed his head to her.

"A pleasure, Ms. Brewster. You are obviously well aware of who I am."

"Many of us are. The gaming community, that is," she shoved her hands into her cardigan pockets and cocked her head to the side, continuing to study him.

"I must say, you are far prettier in person than the gaming platform shows. There is a fantastic iridescence that gleams from your scales in incandescent lighting. You must be lovely to see in the sunlight."

"Oh, dear God!" I groaned and hid my face in my hands, embarrassed yet again.

"Thank you," he replied, not one bit offended that I could tell.

"So, you need to figure out how to get him back to his dimension, correct?" she turned to me, taking the iPad from her satchel.

"Right on the nose," I swallowed loudly and hoped that my face wasn't as red as it felt.

"Okay, but I need testimonials from both sides," she sat down at my sofa where Thane and I gave her our respective stories. She made a few notes then stood up, heading for my door.

"I'll do a few calculations and let you know of my results. I should have enough to work with."

"Thank you," I said as I unlocked my door for her. She nodded to me but kept her eyes on Thane.

"Yes, well, a joy meeting you, Thane. I look forward to seeing you again soon."

Thane went to bow to her but Mary had already walked out of my apartment and headed for the stairs.

"What a strange person," he murmured softly.

"Yes, she is.


	6. Chapter 6

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Apple hardware appliances, Weird Al, Giorgio Armani fragrance collections, or sexy actors who portray sexy werewolves on television. Let's continue, shall we?

Chapter 6: Tuesday (or friends don't let friends keep secrets)

The next morning I awoke to the harp ring-tone alarm on my iPhone. I shut it off and tried to fling it across the room, but I soon remembered I had it plugged into the cord to charge and it simply fell to the floor. I even failed at procrastinating! I growled and walked zombie-like into my bathroom for a shower, even more irritated when I got a nice glob of shampoo bubbles in my eye. It was about to become one of those days, I reasoned with my still sleepy self.

I walked into my closet and, just like every crazy woman in the world, decided that I had nothing to wear. I had a rather important interview to conduct that day and figured that the geek tee-shirts would have to be put on hold. So, I chose one of the few dress shirts I had (a sheer red flouncy thing which forced me to wear some skin-tight black camisole beneath so I wouldn't be revealing the atrocity that was my very girly and lacy bra) but I refused to give up the jeans. I plucked a pair of YSL dark green alligator leather pumps and headed towards the living room, face concealed mostly by the curtain of brown hair which I allowed to fall loose instead of being pulled into a ponytail. I shoved a lip gloss down one pocket, figuring I would apply the sticky, glittery substance after I got to work. I had no choice but to paint a light coat of make-up over the rest of my pasty white face in order to make it to the office on time. I was really hoping Thane wouldn't notice the changes.

I was wrong.

Again, he was sitting along the wall o' windows, this time reading the Baghavad Gita (a gift from George on one birthday just because I didn't have it) and drinking his tea. I was expecting a soft welcome as his eyes stayed on the page. But as I rushed to grab my usual morning orange from the basket on the bar, I watched as he stood from his seat, book nearly falling to the floor before he caught it, and fluttered those huge inky orbs at me.

The air seemed to smell stronger and spicier, something else was underlying in the sweet aroma that I couldn't explain. It was sexy, alluring, and when I happened to glance up at him as he raised to his feet my nervousness was paired with desire for him. It took me a second to realize that I was so quickly turned on and I immediately dismissed the feeling.

_ Show him some respect, you crazy bitch! The last thing he probably wants is to be viewed as some object of lust!_

"If, uh, if you get bored with any of the books that are on that shelf then there are plenty more in my bedroom. Feel free to investigate," I offered as I quickly downed a glass of juice. I was feeling a little light-headed and hoped that it wasn't a sign that a migraine was coming on.

"I shan't pry into your private quarters, Sara," his voice seemed huskier that morning, richer. Then again, maybe I was hearing things as well.

"Suit yourself," I shrugged and walked over to my closet to retrieve my coat and handbag. Again, he was right at my side, plucking the trench from the hanger before I could reach it.

"Thank you," my voice fell into a rushing whisper. The scent of sweet spice and whatever else that screamed "SEX!" became stronger around him and that's when it hit me.

_That's him smelling like what Armani Code wishes it could be!_

I nearly swooned it was so intoxicating!

"I wish you a pleasant day," he stepped closer and I thought for a split second he was going to kiss me. I looked down at my feet and buttoned the coat, hoping that it was just my imagination.

_ Thane couldn't possibly want anything to do with me_, I thought in doubt. The character in the game was so composed and grounded that the idea of sexual attraction should've been above his needs. But the living, breathing, gorgeous man before me wasn't simply a character from some RPG I spent hours playing in my spare time. And the natural fragrance that surrounded him certainly didn't say "I'm celibate."

I smiled weakly, saying "see you later" as I rushed out the door before I attacked the poor guy. I leaned weakly against the railing as I stumbled down the stairs, nearly breathless with the onslaught of desire pulsing inside my blood.

_ Coffee_, I decided in that second after briefly considering running back to my apartment to rip off his clothing and push him down onto the couch to screw his brains out. _I really need coffee_.

O . . . O . . . O

Jason spun around in his chair; his head thrown back like a five year old, and chewed on the top of his pen. I was preparing the list of questions I had in store for the game developer I was scheduled to interview.

"Six letter word for scissors, second letter 'h'."

I looked up from my monitor and felt my eyebrows lift in concern. And I thought my mind was shot for the day!

"Shears. Seriously, you couldn't get that?"

"That's what I thought, but, well, it's been one of those nights. George was up half the night obsessing about some big performance art show on Friday." He stopped spinning and faced me with an expression of desperation.

"Hey, wanna go? It's supposed to be one hell of a sight. I think he snorts paint then spits it back onto a canvas or something."

I stopped to stare at him for a second, not sure if it was a joke or if he was serious. His face read the latter. I shrugged absently.

"Sure, I'll go, if you want me to ruin the so-called important air of the bourgeoisie crowd with my hyena-like sarcastic laughing."

That morning, after Jason whistled at my appearance, declaring that I "clean up real good!" things returned to normal in our little office. I tried to forget about the surge of hormones I felt from Thane's pheromone-thingy and I also tried to laugh at the new post-it note on the lithograph. This one read "make love to me, Sara!" Somehow, despite my feigned chuckles, it hit a little too close to home, and I did what I do best in uncomfortable situations; ignored it!

"Guess who came to visit me last night," I changed subject as I emailed my list of questions to myself so I could take my laptop with me.

"Weird Al Yankovic?"

"Close. Mary Brewster." Again, Mary was not in the office, and it had a few of us beginning to ask questions in regards to her absence. She was never late or called off unless she was close to dying. She seemed fine to me the night before.

"And?" Jason prodded as I paused.

"And she actually hit on Thane, if you can call it that. I think she scared him." Jay laughed loudly and folded his NY Times crossword puzzle page to listen with full, undivided attention.

"Really? How'd she do that?"

"She called him 'pretty.'"

"She did what?!" his eyes nearly bugged out of his head and his smile showed just about all of his teeth.

"Now, what were her exact words? Oh, yeah. He was much prettier in person than the gaming platform suggested. She was right up in his grill, too."

"Did you pull her away from your man screaming 'you whore!'?" he teased with a catty grin.

"Now, why would I do that?" I asked, regretting the opening of my mouth because I knew I was walking into a hornets' nest.

"Because, Sunshine, you totally have a thing for him," he grabbed a pink pom-pom topped pen and tickled my nose.

"I also have a 'thing' for Joe Manganiello because he's freakin' hot, but you don't see me banging down the door at his home to bitch out his girlfriend," I grumbled.

"You sure you're okay? You were acting kind of strange when you got in this morning," Jason's hazel eyes bore into mine. My gaze dropped from his and I fiddled absently with the hem of my shirt.

"Just fine," I murmured, and my mind was suddenly on Thane. The strong feeling of need for him shook me, made my concentration even worse than it normally was.

"Don't lie to me, Sara. Something's going on because you're not as sarcastic as you usually are."

I sighed and pulled my glasses off my face to massage the bridge of my nose. _Damn it, my eye still hurts from the lather invasion!_

"I think I'm either suffering from sleep deprivation or something is going on with Thane," I admitted quietly.

"What do you mean? Is he okay?"

"He seems fine, I think. It's just that, well," I hesitated on telling Jason what I had been feeling, or forced into feeling since I detected the strong, sexually charged aroma hanging in the air inside my home.

"Come on," he encouraged and I finally buckled. If I couldn't trust Jason, then who else was there to listen to my rants and raves without judging me?

"My house smells good."

Jason's face screwed into a confused pout.

"Huh?"

"It's Thane. I noticed it yesterday. It's like, well, I can't really describe it."

"Is it like a sweet smell?"

"No, it's spicy, like cinnamon only not as cinnamon-y. It's, it smells like nothing I've ever encountered. And it's incredibly, er, sexy!" my voice dropped to a whisper. Jason seemed to listen with open intrigue and wide eyes. I seemed to fall into a trance as I recalled the aroma, my desire reigniting as my eyes closed.

"It made me feel sultry and warm and really, really turned on. I could barely walk away from him; the closer he got to me. I'm almost afraid to go home because I don't know if I can trust myself to stay away."

There was silence in the room and I finally opened my eyes feeling cold and empty. It actually disturbed me.

"I can't do that to him. I can't disrespect him because he doesn't deserve that," I tried to regain my breath. Jason reached across the desk and patted my hand.

"Hey, you're a strong chick and I have faith in you to do the right thing. If you want me to stop teasing you about him, I'll stop," he offered, causing me to smile. I looked down at my watch and noticed the time.

"I better go," I said as I stood up. "I want to read over my notes before I meet my subject."

Jason nodded and walked over to stand behind my desk where he took down the post-it note, replacing it with a fresh one. The new line read "Sara's a good girl" and I laughed.

"Yeah, I try to be."

O . . . O . . . O

The interview went well and Jason decided to come back to my apartment with me, offering to buy some Italian take-out and entertain Thane while I finished writing up the feature. As we walked through the door I waited to see what kind of response I would get from Jason about the new perfume that was overtaking my home. His eyes widened and his smile grew but, oddly enough, he didn't seem to have the same reaction as I apparently did. He quickly texted me, to avoid any awkward vocalizing around Thane, and waited for me to respond to his comment.

"Yeah, it smells good, but I don't think his naturally occurring cologne is made for me," he wrote. My brow flew up in surprise causing him to shrug. I sat my laptop on my table and began to work on my write-up as Jason passed out the dinners. I listened vaguely to the conversation as Thane asked my friend several questions on our friendship which began at NYU where we met. My attention was caught when I heard Jason compliment my kindness towards him.

"She's probably the nicest person I've ever known. And I tell her all the time even though she doesn't believe me," his eyes met mine as he smiled. I dropped my shy gaze to the keyboard and swallowed the emotional lump in my throat.

"She has been most generous to me," Thane agreed. I sniffled and bit down on my lips to pull the tears back into my eyes.

_I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry!_

"As sweet as she is pretty," Jason followed up as he sat his empty plate on the bar. "Right, Sara?"

I found myself glaring at him and shaking my head.

"Don't," I whispered in warning.

"Don't what? Tell you the truth? Don't shake your head, Sara! I hate it when you do that. Everyone else thinks so except you."

I tried to ignore the compliment by continuing my work; until Thane spoke up.

"If I'm not imposing, I agree with your friend. You are rather appealing."

Unable to control my emotions, I rose from my seat and began to flee towards my bedroom.

"Sara," I heard Jason call. I ignored him and slammed the door, dropping to my bed and curling against the pillows. I tried to shake the thoughts in my head, hating the fact that I hated myself. So, Jason said I was pretty. Big deal! Did pretty mean that I was meant to be alone for five years?

I took a deep breath and stared up at my ceiling, wondering if Thane really felt that way or if he was obligated to agree with my friend. I wasn't sure but I believed the latter. He was trying to be nice and that was all.

But hearing his voice compliment me struck my heartstrings and it hurt. I had spent so much time in dismissing my emotions that when the sudden wave overtook me it was almost too much to handle.

I wiped the tears off my face and swallowed the rest of them, building the metaphorical wall around my heart higher.

Don't let it happen, Sara, I girded myself. Don't let him get close. Don't let anyone get too close.

A knock came at my door and I knew it was Jason.

"What?" I asked a little harshly.

"If you're done with your 'I'm an ugly girl' rant I have something I need to tell you," he said through the door. I rolled my eyes and opened my door to just a crack, hoping he didn't see that my eyes were red.

"Yes?"

"Are you PMS'ing? 'Cause I thought that our mensies were synched and now I feel left out," he attempted to joke.

"Cute," I snorted. "What is it?"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But you really need to stop bashing yourself like that. I think you are a knock-out. A little weird, but a total babe, babe."

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

"This coming from the guy who runs away screaming at the sight of a naked woman," I retorted.

"Naw, that's George," he waved a dismissive hand at me. "Besides, we made out like the second day we met."

"We see how well that turned out," I smirked and I began to feel a little better.

"Yeah, it made me luuuuv you. Come on, Davis. Accept my apology?"

I laughed and nodded in surrender. He could be so damn cute at times.

"Alright, Jay. Just don't do that again. It's not nice to make people feel obligated."

"Obligated? You mean him telling you he thinks you're attractive?"

I nodded, the smile fading from my face. His did as well as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Sara, he wasn't obligated to tell you that. He likes you. A lot." That statement caused me to snort in derision.

"Funny."

"I'm not trying to be this time. Dude's got it bad for you, Chicky." I laughed again.

"Yeah, after knowing me for, what now, four-ish days?" Jason said nothing as he turned on his heels and headed back down the hall.

O . . . O . . . O

That night I kept thinking about the conversation from earlier. It was nothing new for Jason to say I was attractive and me to, of course, deny it. But I kept going back to Thane; his agreeing with my friend, the way he looked at me with his eyelids half closed and the crooked grin on his gorgeous mouth, it left me wanting for air. It left me wanting him. That was another reason I ran for my room in that moment. I didn't want to admit my desire for him.

But Jason knew. Jason always seemed to know me better than I knew myself. Most close friendships tend to be like that.

I glanced over at my iPhone and hit the home key to get the time. 11:45; I had been in bed for about a half hour and still didn't feel the least bit tired. I felt desperate, anxious- horny.

The spicy scent seemed to fade a little but the strong, undetectable bit that had me all hot and bothered seemed to linger. I could never quite describe it but it made my bones heat and my skin tingle with anticipation. It made me want to pounce on that drell and seduce his pants off even though I was, in my opinion, the least sexy woman in the world.

All this time of no sexual encounters meant that I had been getting used to the idea of sleeping alone for the rest of my life and it wasn't that big of a deal; even if I did have my moments of irritation and deprived, for lack of a better term, of physical contact.

But this feeling was torturous. It taunted me, teased me, and it took every ounce of will power to stay in bed. In fact, it was starting to piss me off!

I allowed myself to relax, nearly asleep, when a wave of rich, sultry perfume drifted up my nose. My back arched and my lips parted as I breathed heavily. My skin prickled and craved touch. Like an unseen shadow I could feel his presence above me. My hands were pinned down to keep from touching him and my blood ran through my veins like wild fire. I felt drunk and high off of pure lust. I silently begged to be kissed, my eyes still closed. A rush of hot hair blew over my neck, down over my chest, and hovered between my legs. I moaned quietly, my breath catching in my throat. I tried to sit up, to touch him, but the shadow of spice kept me down on the mattress to endure the intangible seduction. I whispered his name; the heat of an orgasm rising deep inside my body. My toes curled and my skin broke into a cold sweat. I gasped and I could feel the pulsing of the climax shake me.

I opened my eyes to gaze into his, to tell him I wanted more, but I saw nothing.

I was alone and left to suffer in silence. I sighed in irritation, pulled a pillow over my head and tired not to cry.

"Fuck!" I mumbled into the pillow as I drew the blankets up to my neck. I finally fell asleep and the only redeeming factor in the entire incident was the fact that I didn't remember a single dream.


	7. Chapter 7

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: the Dune saga and any references, Star Wars, Dragon Age II, and Looney Tunes characters. The following scene features half naked, green-skinned assassins. You have been warned!

Chapter 7: Wednesday and Thursday

My daily routine continued the next morning; nothing new, but I did take an extra long shower just because I felt a tad embarrassed that I allowed myself to succumb to whatever the hell that was going on before I nodded off. I returned to the geek tee-shirts, choosing from my Star Wars collection and was about to shove a pair of flats on my feet when my eyes landed on the studded black Brian Atwoods. They were a high, thick heel with a tall platform and announced "I'm a sex goddess" when worn on the right woman. I was about to avoid them but the little voice inside my head began to whisper.

"Put them on! They're hot and they'll get his attention!" the devil pixie on my shoulder giggled.

"No, I won't," I grumbled to myself as the shoes went over my toes. They added about five inches to my short frame and made my stubby legs look longer and slimmer. They also made me envision stalking the drell with the intent to seduce while wearing nothing but the shoes.

I rolled my eyes, deciding it was too late to debate my morality, and I stomped out of my bedroom with frustration. I figured Thane had taken his spot along the windows, but that morning I found him lounging on the sofa wearing only a pair of jeans with the top unbuttoned (gulp!). In his hands was my copy of "Dune" and I immediately thought about the addictive necessity that was the subject of the novel, the Spice Melange. The irony of it took the wind from my lungs as I recalled the erotic half-dream I experienced.

_Breathe! Breathe, damn it!_ I inwardly groaned and tried to look away from him. I kept my head down as I walked towards the kitchen, mumbling a "good morning" to him.

"And to you," he returned casually. Waiting for me on the bar was my usual glass of juice and an orange. My cheeks flushed warmly as I smiled.

"Thank you," I dared to peer over my shoulder at him. Thane was looking right back at me, eyes full of green fire and lips parted to show the barest trace of his perfect white teeth. I couldn't help but to stare at him in that second; scanning over his amazingly toned torso enhanced by curling, black stripes arcing around his sides and down his muscular arms. Inside his elbows and starting under his pectorals to hide at his arm pits was the same red ribbed flesh which lined his throat and jaw. It also peeked out from the waistband of his jeans at his hips in thin strips, drifting down and thickening before disappearing beneath the dark blue denim.

My brain began to swarm and spin with devilish, arousing thoughts about just where that red skin led. And then my shame kicked in, causing me to look away.

"You d-didn't have to, uh, do th-this," I stuttered, my arms curling around my middle. It was such a childish, odd little quirk I had done from the time I was a kid, and I always happened to find myself doing it when I felt shy or insecure.

"I am well aware of that," he purred and I heard him rise and approach. "I only meant to help, but if it offends you-" he stopped speaking as he stood next to me. The smell of his warm spice radiated from him.

"No, it doesn't," I shook my head. "It's very kind of you."

A short huff sounded from his nose and I watched his lips twitch into a smirk.

"You are the only one who has said so to me personally," his eyes focused on the floor and my heart began to ache for him. Without thinking, I reached for his hands and held them gently, feeling the warmth at his palms seep into mine. I only wanted to comfort him in the same way he consoled me Monday evening.

"I don't believe that," I smiled and watched his eyes lock onto mine, a thousand shades of green against black sparkling and glittering in the light.

_My God, he's gorgeous!_ I thought in awe.

"You've been nothing but sweet to me despite the frustration I'm sure you're feeling," my voice lowered.

He took a step closer and I could feel his warm breath against my cheek. His fingers began to weave between mine and I pressed my middle and ring digits together to match the shape of his hands.

"One could say the same of you, Siha," he whispered and I found him barely an inch away from my lips. My mouth went dry and my head buzzed from the rich, exotic pheromones.

One kiss; that's all it would've taken and I would've done anything he asked of me. I was so entranced, spell-bound, aroused…

"Dum dum dum! Dum da-dum! Dum da-dum!" my iPhone rang, playing The Imperial March. I woke to the present and slipped my hands from his to answer the horrible piece of technology that interrupted the one moment I thought would never happen.

"Excuse me," I blushed with shame as I put the phone to my ear.

"What is it, Jay?" I asked in obvious irritation.

_He is so gonna get it when I see him!_

"Heads up, Davis," he warned in a serious tone. "The boss is having a surprise company-wide meeting this morning. Said it's something big, so be on your 'A-Game', girl."

"Okay," I breathed, the venom fading from my voice before I thanked him and hung up. I looked back up at Thane apologetically and tried to smile.

"I gotta go. Important stuff, I guess," I murmured. He nodded with understanding and escorted me to the door of my coat closet. I shrugged on my jacket but felt cold and wrought with guilt.

"I'll try to be back as soon as I can," I promised.

"Yes, I know," his black velvet voice crept down my spine. I slipped out my door and felt weak again.

"Go back to him," the little devil whispered again and I nearly did. But I forced myself down the stairs and onto the streets of Manhattan, ignoring Stephanie's calls to me as I passed her in the lobby. If I had stopped I probably would've said something I would quickly regret. I was already regretting walking away from Thane. I even for a second forgot that he called me "Siha" again.

O . . . O . . . O

The big surprise from Al that morning was the reviewing panel announcement for Dragon Age II. Jason and I looked at each other as our editor placed the green cased game before me and three other reviewers with our names on the front.

_Another BioWare RPG_, I thought with some dark amusement. _If I play this will a group of elves show up in my kitchen? _

After the meeting I went back to work on the interview, reworking my introduction just to make sure I didn't sound like a complete idiot in print. Nothing exciting happened that day except for the typical friendly bantering between Jason and me. I didn't even scold him for interrupting the almost-kiss.

After work ended I stopped by a small grocery store for dinner ingredients and headed home. No Stephanie, thank God! I walked into my apartment, this time the door not answered by Thane, and I wondered if he was okay.

Oh, was he ever! I caught him in the middle of an apparent work-out; jeans replaced by a pair of loose-fitting lounge pants and still no shirt. It was unseasonably warm for February, so I figured he was feeling over-heated. Whatever the reason for his lack of clothing I was both a very happy woman and also a messed-up mix of clumsy, shy, babbling, foolish fangirl with the inability to look a handsome man in the eye.

The smooth, graceful moves he performed in the middle of my living room looked like a combination of ballet and karate. I tried not to watch, though I was incredibly fascinated, as I skulked into my kitchen to put the groceries away. There was such elegance and beauty to the strikes and kicks he executed and I wondered if I played Tchaikovsky in the background if it would change the martial art into a dance.

"Would you care to join me?" he asked, not the least bit winded. I laughed at the mental picture I painted, envisioning myself trying to explain to the ER doctor why my wrist was broken.

"Well, Doc, I was playing Kung-fu Master with Thane Krios and I accidentally hit my fist into his rock hard abs."

"No, thanks," I snickered. "Not unless you want a really good laugh." I went to sit at the table but found myself still watching him spin and whirl with such masculine beauty it took my breath away. He stopped and faced me, a smile cresting over his lips as he approached.

"Come; I will show you a few moves," he offered as he took my hand.

_Oh, sweetheart, I'm sure you could show me a lot of moves_, my one-track mind thought loudly.

"Wh-what exactly are you doing?" I asked as he went to stand behind me, his fingers on my waist. My eyes closed as I felt his warm hands on me, envisioning him pulling the stupid Darth Vader silk-screened shirt off my chest.

"It's called _iti-haiyla_, a very ancient fighting technique from Rakhana. The Warrior Monks to the King used to perform it for special celebrations. Very few drell ever practice it now days," he explained, his mouth close enough to my ear I could feel his breath against it.

God! If you kiss me there I'm so yours, baby, my stupid brain screamed again.

"You don't approve of the ball bat?" I teased in hopes of easing my own anxiety. His fingers slid up my arms and pulled them out to the sides, positioning my fists taut and high.

"You never take it with you when you leave here. You may encounter a moment where you must defend yourself. A little knowledge would indeed be beneficial," his thighs pressed against my legs, causing them to open.

He may have been speaking about fighting but his touch said otherwise to my body. I could smell his spice again and I fought the moan that bubbled in my throat. I opened my eyes to see him looking back at me with a primal, almost lusty expression.

"Strike me," he commanded; his perfect chest out and waiting for my punch.

"You're kidding!" I snorted.

"Not at all. Keep your wrist solid and your feet firm on the floor. Bring the power up from your legs and channel it into your arm. Use all your might."

I felt my eyebrows lift with disbelief. I could barely do a pull up and he expected me to drop him with my puny fists?!

Again the scenario in the Emergency Room played in my head.

"That's right, Doctor. He told me to punch him and that's when every little bone in my arm went 'snap!'"

His eyes never looked away from mine as he silently goaded me. I took a deep breath and did as he asked, feeling the strength rise from my feet, up my legs, building up pressure in my chest as I reared my arm back. With an intensity I never imagined I had, I watched, in disbelief, as my fist made contact with his abdomen. He stumbled back half a step and smiled in approval. I breathed heavily and pulled my fists to my chest, amazed at what I did. It may not have injured him but it could've done damage to someone not as fit.

"Well done, Sara," he praised and the same old blush that seemed to have stayed on my cheeks since his arrival warmed my face.

"Okay, that's enough!" I slouched and walked away.

"Are you sure?" he asked as I went to hide behind the bar. "You weren't that bad, actually."

I looked back at him to see a sexy little smile pull on the right side of his lips and my knees began to feel like warm puddles of gelatin. It had to be a sin to look at him.

"M-my ankle is a bit, uh, y-yeah. I'm done," I nodded quickly. He approached me again like a stalking cat and stood very close to me yet again.

"Shall I take a closer look? The shoes you are wearing may have caused the injury."

I must've been as red as a candy apple and again I prayed for a Sara-sized black hole to rip me out of reality. His fingers danced up my arms, my skin prickled with excited goose bumps.

"I-I'm fine, really," my eyes fluttered shut as the barest touch of his lips came over mine.

For the second time that day I was jerked away by the advance as the call button buzzed. A low growl rumbled in his chest, a sound of obvious frustration. I dropped my chin to my chest and sighed.

The gods hate me, I considered as I went to answer the call.

"Yes?"

"You forgot your game at the office," Jason's voice returned. "And I need to borrow your X-Box because George has the condo filled with drapery and carpet samples."

I looked back at Thane who had thrown a tee-shirt over his chest. I began to wonder if he really was just overly warm or, and I completely doubted it at the time, he was trying to get my attention. Surely Thane Krios was above petty showboating for female appreciation! He was too well-mannered, too much of a gentleman to ever try such a stunt!

Wasn't he?

A moment later Jason came through the door and handed me the game and I greeted him with a dark glare.

"What's your issue, Davis? You're looking at me like I did something wrong."

I shook my head at him and walked towards my television to turn it on. Thane had resumed to reading his book, nearly finished with Dune I noticed. I only half-listened to Jason complain about George's sudden need to redecorate their home as he began to play Dragon Age II. My mind kept going back to the attempts Thane tried at kissing me. Would he persist or would he grow tired of the interruptions and give up? As much as I loved my friend, that Wednesday made him my Enemy Number One.

O . . . O . . . O

"Kiw de wabbit, kiw de wabbit," I sang flatly to "Flight of the Valkyries". I couldn't stop thinking about Thane calling me "Siha" and it made me wonder if I was hearing things, imagining that he was giving me the nickname because deep down I desperately wanted to hear it. There was a joke going around the office when Mass Effect 2 came out about the pet name and all the other reviewers began to call me Siha by request of Jason. It didn't last long, especially after I grumbled enough for the teasing to stop. And I knew that my first name sort of sounded like that, so was I suffering temporary insanity or did I really hear him right?

"Isn't that the old Bugs Bunny cartoon where he's dressed up like an opera singer and Elmer Fudd falls in love with him, or her, or whatever?" Jason perked up, a child-like smile crawling up his face.

"That would be it," I nodded slowly, my eyes focused on the television screen as I maneuvered Hawke around Sundermount, choosing to play as a male rogue.

"What brought that up?"

I paused the game and rubbed at my aching neck as I thought about the events that already took place that day. In the morning I was greeted as it became normal that week by Thane, sitting at the window with a new book in his palms, and I thought he had decided to put his advances on hold. Until I readied myself to leave for work; once again, he grabbed my coat for me, helping me put it on, but this time he tied the belt at my waist and pulled me close to him. I waited for him to kiss me, and he did, but only on the cheek. It wasn't a quick chaste peck, however. His lips lingered over my skin, sending tingling little sparks through me. He brushed his long, narrow nose against mine before he let me go.

"We have much to discuss this evening, Siha," he whispered as he removed his hands from my belt. I opened my mouth to ask him if he really called me that, but he had already opened the door and smiled.

"You will be late if you don't leave now."

And I took that as my cue to go.

"My brain is wired loosely today," I sighed wearily. "I can't tell if I'm off on a tangent or a cosine."

"Ooh! A geometry joke! How smart are you?" Jason teased.

"Not very," I droned. Another few moments passed by in silence until he spoke up again.

"How's Mr. Sexy this morning? He was awfully quiet last night. More so than usual for him."

I was about to snap back how he was the one who kept interrupting Thane's chances at kissing me but I kept my mouth firmly shut. I knew if I said something then the teasing would resume and I'd never hear the end of it from my friend.

"Mr. Sexy? Really?" I glanced at him.

"Uh, yeah! He is, you've even said so yourself."

"Maybe he doesn't view himself like that," I defended the drell, although the half-dressed state I had been finding him in made me wonder. Jason snorted loudly and shook his head.

"Bullshit! Last night was proof of the fact he's been trying to make himself more attractive to you. He was freakin' posing in front of you; head tilted to the side ever so slightly, arms folded behind his back to draw attention to his chest."

"He's always folded his arms behind his back. That's like his signature stance or whatever."

"Not like this, Davis. The man couldn't stop staring at you all night."

I rolled my eyes, denial in a stranglehold around my heart.

"Uh huh, because I'm so his type. Everyone knows that hot drell assassins have a weakness for dorky human women who review video games for a living."

"I'll bet you fifty bucks that he's hot for you," he challenged. I paused my game again, staring him down. Normally, I wasn't a gambler but I couldn't reveal the romantic tension that was beginning to build between Thane and me.

"You're on," I agreed. "This'll be the easiest money I ever made."

A smug grin snaked up his lips and he crossed his arms over the Superman logo on his chest.

"Actually, it'll be the easiest money I ever made. I suggest you take a trip to the ATM downstairs, make a withdrawal and bring it to me before you leave work," he rubbed his chin in thought. "Now, what can I buy for fifty dollars?"

"A ball gag," I retorted. Jason laughed loudly and gave me a "high five".

"Oh, snap! Score one for my home girl!" We laughed for a few seconds then fell quiet as I tried to resume the game.

"But seriously, Sara, Thane's totally hot for you."

"Jason," I never looked away from the television.

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

O . . . O . . . O

That evening, as I returned home I became nervous and wondered exactly what Thane wanted to discuss. I sort of had an idea but I didn't want to admit it and it scared me. I hesitated opening the door to my apartment but I already heard the locks sliding and clicking and seconds later looked upon my houseguest wearing a brilliant smile (dear God, he's a lovely sight!) and a pair of loose linen pants with a white button up shirt opened most of the way.

"Hi," I said weakly causing his smile to widen enough for me to catch a rare glimpse of the sharp canine-like teeth next to his molars. You never saw them in the game due to the animation of the character's mouth and the way he talked, but when I first noticed the long, vampire-like teeth I blushed a little. The peculiar trait was fascinating and rather sexy. He took my coat and hung it in the closet while I notice that he had taken it upon himself to prepare dinner, finding the mushroom ravioli in my freezer along with a jar of prepared marinara sauce. He really did try to be helpful and it touched me.

"Got hungry again?" I teased as he pulled out a chair at the table for me.

"Perhaps," he answered as he poured me a glass of pinot noir. "There is something I'd like to ask you."

I swallowed the wine loudly, my guts filled with swarming butterflies.

"Erm, o-okay." I envisioned myself flinging a fresh fifty note at Jason as he did a stupid victory dance, cabbage-patch included.

"I am completely aware that we have only known each other for such a short time, but in that time you've been most kind to me by allowing me to stay here without any complaints. I have no way to repay you for your generosity, which by that simple fact humbles me greatly," he reached across the table to take my hands.

"I'm only doing what I think is right," I said softly, too afraid to look into his eyes.

"You are one of the very few I've met in my life who has felt that way. I- have been thinking about you, often, and I haven't felt fondly for anyone in so long. It almost seems foreign for me to feel affection for another after the unfortunate events of my past, but I must admit my feelings for you, Siha."

I blinked rapidly and felt my mouth go dry.

_What the hell?! This is not happening, is it? And I KNOW that he called me a Siha this time!_

His hand tightened around mine and I could feel his talon-like nails pressing against my palms.

"I only wish to know if you feel the same affection for me. If you do not, then I shall refrain from any additional advances."

My eyes met his and I saw the deep emotion glowing from the bright green of his irises. My heart skipped a beat and my breath fell shallow. A strange combination of elation and guilt overtook me and I didn't know whether to smile or cry.

"Oh, Thane, babe, you don't need to call me Siha. I'm nowhere close to earning that title. I'm the biggest scaredy-cat in this city."

"But you are a Siha. You have done everything in your power to protect me, keep me safe. You don't give yourself enough credit for the bravery you really do have," he caressed the top of my hands. I allowed a smile to break on my face and I nodded.

"I am very fond of you, too."

I received another gentle kiss on my cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. The following scene features explicit descriptions that some may find offensive. If you do, then why the hell are you still reading this? Here there be dragons. And a naked drell.

Chapter 8- Thursday into Friday

There was a loud bang at my door and I immediately bolted up, grabbing the bat next to my bed. I ran as fast as my suddenly woken body could towards the living room. Two men, dressed in black clothes and wearing ski masks had broken down my door, obviously using the emergency ladder to get in through the fire escape on the roof. One was holding a crowbar and went after Thane who was crouched and waiting to attack like a patient jaguar. I watched in shock as the drell grabbed his assailant around the waist, pulling him harshly to the floor to spar with him. The second man was slowly approaching, a switchblade produced from a pocket, and I began to panic in silence. I forced my legs to move towards my kitchen and I nearly screamed in fear as I heard the crowbar make contact with Thane's face, a dull, metallic thud which caused him to grunt in pain. I realized the bat would do me no good and my sights focused on my collection of kitchen knives. I grabbed the long, thin carving knife and rushed to the man who was stalking Thane, his blade poised and ready to stab. My stomach twisted and flipped nervously and my skin went ice cold as I jabbed the point of my knife to his exposed throat.

"Drop the fucking blade," I ordered in a voice that seemed to be too calm for how I felt. He slowed his approach and began to laugh lowly, a snorting, whiny sound that denoted some kind of drug was in his system. I shoved the knife harder against his unshaven skin and he stopped laughing. He opened his hand and the switchblade dropped with a loud crack to my floor and he lifted his hands in surrender. Thane had wrestled the other down beneath him and had him in a hold with the would-be burglar's arm pressed tightly against his knee. One false move and he would've left with a broken arm, if Thane let him leave alive.

"Move to the exit," I demanded, shoving my hostage against his back with a finger. "You try anything stupid I slit your throat." The other man groan and growl in pain as Thane's hand tightened.

"You made a mistake breaking into my home. Now, get your idiot friend and get the fuck out of here."

Thane let go of his victim while I kept my knife still on the second man. When they cleared the exit, I moved my weapon and looked into their exposed, fright-widened eyes in the dim lighting in the alcove. They were just kids, no more than maybe fifteen or sixteen. I looked down at the scar on my left wrist and shook my head.

"How dare you try to break into someone's home? Don't you have any sense?"

"W-we're sorry," the one kid Thane had fought rubbed his aching arm.

"Fuck sorry, you dumb asses! I should call the cops but I'll probably get arrested for assaulting a minor. Now, go home. And if you ever come back here trying to steal my stuff again, you won't be leaving free men." Their heads bobbed up and down quickly as they rushed towards the fire escape. I leaned against my broken door jamb wearily and sighed as I stared down at my blood-free knife.

"You should call the authorities," I heard Thane suggest with the sound of the crowbar being picked up off the floor. I shook my head and entered my apartment, staring down at the busted door. The locks had been ripped away as they beat it down but it didn't surprise me. It was old and the super had been promising to replace it, two years ago.

"How would I explain you to them? I've seen those kids before. They skateboard down at the park and they actually have some talent. They just made a bad decision tonight so I gave them a good scare and a second chance," I answered as I put my knife back into the block. I watched Thane lift the door and set it against the jamb, adjusting it so it didn't look like it had been broken down despite the huge crack down the middle. I then caught a flash of red shining against his cheek and my gut dropped. I rushed to him and looked into his face to see his left cheek starting to swell from the contact with the crowbar.

"Oh, you're hurt," I heard myself whisper. He reached up and gingerly touched the wound, shrugging absently.

"I am fine," he murmured, green eye shine flashing as he looked down at me. "There is no need to worry about me. Are you alright?"

I blinked in disbelief and smiled in spite of myself. _The man takes blunt force trauma to the face and asks if I'm okay?!_

"Come on," I took his hand and led him down the hall towards my bedroom. "Let me get that cleaned up for you."

"There is no need," he protested but didn't pull away.

"I can't let you go to sleep with a bloody face," I turned on the small lamp next to my bed, depositing the ball bat back in its place. "I have a first aid kit in my bathroom and it won't take long."

I walked into my bathroom and grabbed the small white box, taking a second to stare at my pale reflection as I washed my hands.

_Well, Sara Lynn, you have him in your room. Are you going to be the lady your parents raised and send him back to the couch after you play nurse?_

When I walked back out Thane's large eyes had settled on my massive collection of books which took up the majority of one long wall.

"You have a vast assortment. Impressive," he pulled "Atlas Shrugged" off the shelf and flipped briefly through the pages. "I have yet to read this one."

"Told you I had more in here," I smiled as I sat down on the bed, suddenly a ball of nervous energy as I fumbled to unlock the box. "Five more books and I can qualify my home as a library," I joked then hated myself for such a lame attempt at humor.

_God, Sara! Epic fail, yet again!_

"Here," I patted the bed and struggled to open the packet of gauze as he sat down next to me. His eyes flickered around as he took in the appearance of my room.

"It is much different in here than the rest of your home," he observed.

Oh, how true it was. My bedroom was the complete opposite of what everyone else saw in the rest of my home. My living room walls were covered in old B-rated movie posters, lithographs of comic book covers (most of them signed), and even kitschy art scattered here and there. My bedroom, however, was a calm oasis of soft aqua walls and elegant drapes in pale gold. On the walls not covered with books were framed botanical study plates of roses, lilies, and orchids and paintings I brought back from my time in France. Delicate porcelain sculptures of Grecian figures sat on my chest of drawers and bedside tables. It looked like something someone would see in an editorial spread in Interior Design magazine.

"Yeah, well, no one ever comes in here except me. I gotta hide the woman behind the geek somehow," I laughed in spite of myself. I doused the gauze in alcohol, the pungent smell rushing up my nose. I started towards his cheek with the wet gauze then stopped as I noticed the dark purplish bruising under the tiny green scales.

"Is it broken?" I asked before I touched him with the gauze. He shook his head then sat at attention as I began to gently clean the wound. His dark eyelids fluttered slightly as he held in the pain.

"He got you pretty good, that idiot kid," I shook my head. "Hopefully it'll not keep you from sleeping. I can get you some ice if it'll help with the swelling."

I tossed the paper from the gauze into the wastebasket next to the bedside stand and when I turned around I found myself face to face with him, deep longing flashing in his eyes.

"Is it feeling any better?" I asked with my voice barely above a whisper.

His hands came up to cup my jaw. His touch was light and tender and I felt my heart pound nervously. He slowly leaned in closer and brushed his lips against mine. My skin began to tingle with anticipation. I placed my hands over his and waited for the kiss to deepen.

But it didn't; he pulled away and I opened my eyes, wondering why he stopped.

"I should l-let you go back," I bit on the corner of my bottom lip, averting my eyes down to my lap. The scent of musk and spice wafted in the air and I began to feel the heady arousal I had been experiencing the past couple of days. When I looked back into his eyes I saw that they were dilated. I dared to reach up and touch his uninjured cheek, marveling at the satiny texture of the scales. His eyes fluttered shut and he breathed out a sigh. My fingers drifted down to the red skin of his jaw, extremely soft and smooth. Suddenly, I heard a deep, rumbling purr coming from his throat. My touch deepened and he gave a low moan. It hit me in that second; I had touched a very sensitive spot, obviously an erogenous zone.

I went to move my fingers away but his hand snapped up and grabbed hold of my arm. I watched as his mouth moved over my wrist, breath hot against my skin. What he did next made my blood rush like lava. His tongue flicked over the delicate area before he nipped with his teeth. I gasped at the sensation, longing for him to perform that act on other places over my body. Slowly, he moved my fingers down his jaw and onto his throat. He tilted his head back as I felt his windpipe puff and swell under my nails. The purr became louder as my hand moved from his neck to his chest.

"Siha," his lips grazed my cheek, "I'd very much like to kiss you."

_Does he really have to ask? I want him to ravish me, make me his, all those ridiculous clichés!_

"Okay," I whispered, unable to come up with anything sexy or clever to say.

His left hand slid up the back of my skull, fingers weaving through my loosened hair, and gently tilted my head up and to the right. His lips covered my (finally!) and I relished in the perfection of his mouth. I tried to stifle a faint moan that came from me as his tongue curled and danced around mine. He tasted like chai tea and honey.

We must've kissed for several minutes and when he finally released me I began to feel drunk and light-headed. I glanced into his eyes, unable to speak, and traced the deep line separating his abdominal muscles. I watched him flex as my nails tickled over his skin. I wasn't even sure what I was doing, or why, actually. All I knew was that I didn't want him to leave me. Another wave of warm spice enveloped me and I closed my eyes, breathing out steaming hot air. I felt his hands slide under my shirt and my skin began to glow. The strange sense of euphoria made me open my eyes and in my blurred vision I could see small pink polka dots dancing along my walls to the rhythm of my heartbeat.

_So,_ I thought while the stupid, dopey smile formed on my lips as he sucked and nipped at the column of my throat, _you really do get high from making out with him._ I thought for a second I was going to burst out laughing, causing insult to a rather intimate moment, but luckily the feeling of silliness gave way to an incredibly strong sensation of desire and need and my giggles escaped my mouth in the form of moans.

I kneaded my hands into his shoulders, pulling him closer as he slowly laid me back on my bed. He was much heavier than I expected but I gladly welcomed his warm weight. His hands grabbed thatches of my hair, pulling gently and pleasantly at my scalp. He returned to kissing my mouth, the purring from his throat vibrating against my tongue. My legs slid up his thighs, and I began to hate the thin, jersey cotton pants he wore. I had to feel his skin against mine, needed to feel his heat burn into my flesh.

I never wanted anyone more in my life than I wanted him. And it scared the shit out of me.

My shirt flew away from my chest and the anxiety inside my head went through the roof.

_Oh no_, I panicked. _I'm not wearing a bra._

He didn't seem all that worried in my lack of undergarments for he dove straight for my bared chest, gently biting and licking the delicate areas of my skin. My soft little mews became louder impassioned panting. His dark, graveled voice growled with pleasure as I parted my legs to allow him to settle between them. I silently panicked again when I felt his apparent arousal pressing into me.

It didn't take long for the fear to vanish as a deeper high sat into my blood. I opened my eyes again and saw that my ceiling had been painted with every color known to man, shifting and changing like an oil slick in the sun. I was afraid that if I looked upon Thane he would've changed into some kind of monster in my new sight. He sat up on his knees before me, still as beautiful as ever (actually more lovely), and fixed his eyes on mine.

"Sara," he breathed and placed a hand on my cheek. Even after all the heavy petting, the touching and kissing, he was still ever the gentleman.

I covered mine over his and, before I could shut my mouth, uttered the words that would seal my fate for the night.

"I want you." I didn't even realize I said it until my inebriated brain kicked in to put the three words together.

_Oh, shit. _

I waited for rejection or some kind of a stupid speech about his deep desire for me, but one thing I discovered about Thane was his lacking of cliché. He was brutally honest without even saying a word.

Suddenly, his demeanor changed. I watched as his composed, well-practiced manner transformed into a libido-driven animal-like aggression. The soft, gentle touches became a little rougher and harder. His kisses were deeper and included sharp bites against my lips. The fuzzy intoxication drifted away and shifted into an extreme form of sensitivity. Every nerve ending in my body sang like a full harmonic orchestra. Every beat of my heart felt like a thousand bass drums pounding against my rib cage. I could feel my skin breathe.

It was a moment later when I realized that he was devoid of clothing, and so was I apparently. I didn't even feel him remove my shorts and underwear. In any normal circumstance I would've been bolting for my closet to keep from being seen naked. However, thanks to the new forwardness I was experiencing from either finally getting some after five years or whatever the fuck kind of natural LSD that existed in Thane's mouth I didn't care. In fact, I pushed myself up to get a good look at him. I had to see him in his natural glory.

He was beautiful and alien and beyond stimulating. The red skin that drifted down his hips and had been hidden from view by his pants did indeed highlight the thickly ridged, brilliant scarlet instrument between his legs. I could feel my eyes widen and a faint giggle came from my slacked mouth. If I was about to laugh again it was cut off by a hard, deep kiss.

He pulled me onto his lap, mouth and tongue going after my neck and shoulder, and I gasped loudly as he entered me. It hurt a little, and I should've expected it to, but it also felt incredibly good!

I was in no way promiscuous; my past relationships revolved around my insecurities and maybe finally reaching the bedroom after five or six dates, and never quite satisfied me. After my last failure at love I nearly gave up on the whole concept of good sex. But I had never in my life felt anything as deep or gratifying or delightfully rich as the intimacy I shared with Thane.

He began to whisper in my ear, alien words of his native tongue which sounded like dirty little secrets. He scratched his elongated nails down my back in long lines, causing me to moan and groan with pleasure. I ran my fingers up his throat and watched with deep satisfaction as he fluttered his eyes closed and sucked in his breath.

"You wicked temptress," he called me and I smiled. He pulled me under him and proceeded to push me closer and closer to the orgasm I started to feel tighten deep inside my abdomen. My skin broke into a burning sweat, my muscles twitched and shook. I wrapped my arms around his waist as my groin began to constrict around his length.

When I finally climaxed I didn't even bother to stifle the scream. My back arched as my legs wrapped around his hips. Tears fell from my eyes and I trembled in his arms as I tried to calm my over-stimulated body.

He allowed me to rest for a moment before he took me again, this time kneeling behind me where he had a greater advantage to touch most of my skin. He began to thrust faster as his body hardened. Sharp teeth bit into the nape of my neck and I heard him cry out as he reached orgasm, more foreign words murmured into my damp hair. He stayed inside me for a few seconds before we retreated under the blankets and enjoyed the elation that was the afterglow.

"I am sorry if I hurt you, Siha," he said softly as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Drell often get lost in the act of intimate affairs." I smiled at him and shrugged nonchalantly, my own fingers tracing the dark stripes of his body.

"Did you hear me complain?"

He chuckled at my joke and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I didn't want to overstep my boundaries, especially with all that has happened in the span of a few short days. I had been waiting for your permission."

"Since when?" I blurted again, really starting to hate my unfiltered brain.

"From the moment you threatened to use your weapon on me," he nodded towards the baseball bat. I snickered in disbelief.

"Aw, come on! You're joking, right?"

"If you only could've seen yourself, the determination in your eyes as you gave your warning; then you would know why I have wanted you. You piqued my curiosity, fascinated me. The more I've been privileged to know of you the more I began to adore you."

I bit down on my lips as my emotions tried to get the best of me. I dropped my gaze to my hands, afraid that if I looked him in the eyes I would begin to cry. He was too good to be true and I didn't want to believe that I was lucky enough to have him, even if it was just for a brief moment.

"You can stop trying to stroke my pathetic ego, Thane."

He lifted my chin to look into my eyes and the tears I tried so hard to fight raced down my face. I felt awkward, stupid, foolish, and weak. I didn't want this to be like some crazy romance scene in a Nicholas Sparks movie where the male lead tells the woman how he has always loved her and wants to be with her forever, blah, blah, blah. I saw his admiration for me but I also saw sadness. He was feeling the same thing. One of these days he was going to have to leave me whether he wanted to or not.

"I don't know how much time I have left here, but, if you'll have me, I'd wish to share it with you."

I clutched tightly to him, burying my face against his neck.

_Please, don't leave me,_ I prayed. _Don't ever leave me_.

The moment was so perfect, so well orchestrated, until my hand accidentally bumped his left cheek, causing him to wince in pain.

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry, babe!" I apologized profusely. Thane smiled and laughed as I continued to ask forgiveness for my clumsiness.

"Siha," he took my hands.

"Yeah?"

"Be still," he silenced me with a kiss and I happily obliged.


	9. Chapter 9

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Led Zeppelin, Lady GaGa, Lenny Kravitz (or any other musical act starting with the letter "L"), Christian Louboutin's amazing footwear, Missy Elliott, and Starbucks Coffee. I do not know if there is a New York Cosplayers' Convention, but if there is, I'll bet it's a lot of fun.

Chapter 9: Friday (or "Hey Ned!")

A gentle harp trilled through my cloudy brain, waking me from the deep slumber I was finally blessed with. Barely three hours worth of sleep during that night and under normal circumstances I would've been pissed and exhausted. I still wasn't happy because the alarm meant it was six o'clock and I had to go to work. But the smooth arms around my chest tightened and I smiled like an idiot through the curtain of hair that had fallen into my face as I reached for the evil iPhone to shut it up.

"Good morning, Siha," the purring voice vibrated against my back as he kissed my shoulder.

My smile grew and I wondered just how stupid I looked in that moment. Oh, but how I didn't care.

"M-hmm," I replied as I flopped back down and faced him. His cheek was still swollen and purplish under the cut but didn't appear as angry. My arms went around his neck as he pulled me in for a short kiss.

"Did you get much rest?" he asked, nose rubbing against mine.

"Enough," I shrugged. "I need to figure out a way to fix the door." Slowly, I sat up and yawned myself awake. I didn't want to go to work, which was a bit odd for me since I really didn't mind heading into the office. But I reasoned with myself that I did have a few things to clear up allowing the weekend to belong to me. And Thane.

It was official; I just became the stereotypical bowl of mush in his presence.

"I don't wish to keep you from getting to your workplace on time," he ran a fingernail up my back. I smiled at him and took his hand to kiss it.

"I know. I wish I didn't have to leave, but I can finish what I need to in a couple of short hours."

He nodded and sat up, hands running through my messed hair.

"Then I shall be waiting for your return," another short, sweet kiss came over my lips and I realized he wasn't giving me the deep, passionate embraces he endowed me with during the night. He didn't want to drug me. I slid out of bed, hoping he didn't notice the imperfections of my body as I shuffled into my bathroom to take my morning shower.

It's amazing what sex can do to your brain in the aftermath of the act. I waited for the woodland creatures to appear in my bathroom to assist me in my daily rituals; birds flying in with warm, fluffy towels open, deer blinking their huge, black eyes as I sang some ridiculously high-pitched ballad about being so in love with a handsome prince. I snorted a laugh as I stepped into the shower, amazed at how, in just a few hours, I changed from some sarcastic, dark-humored hater into feeling like a pink taffeta-covered princess dancing on marshmallow clouds.

Then I cursed as I noticed the long, red line running down my leg.

_Yep_, I nodded to myself; _princesses don't knick their knees when they shave._

I actually wore make-up that morning, not because I felt the need to but it was mainly to cover up the dark circles from under my eyes. I grabbed a tight, v-neck Led Zeppelin shirt, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, and made the rash decision to wear the shoes I never even bothered to wear around the fanboys at the magazine; the Ronfifi boots. They were a risqué, over-the-knee laced boot, crafted of the finest shining black leather with the signature Louboutin red painted on the soles. George bought them for me as a Christmas gift and I wore them once to a gaming awards ceremony. I got a lot of looks from people that night and I wondered if maybe there was something wrong with me.

For a split second I reconsidered not wearing them until I looked at my reflection in the floor-length mirror of my closet. I barely recognized myself. Staring back from behind the dark make-up and glasses was a mature, sexy woman with confidence and poise. I smiled and ran a hand through my loosened hair, not bothering to stick back in a ponytail. I walked out of my bedroom, ready to face the day. Thane was standing in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil in the kettle, orange being tossed in the air by one hand then deftly caught.

"I'll see if I can get a door from a home improvement store later today," I said as I picked up my glass of juice. Thane turned around, took a look at the boots on my legs, and smiled a wicked grin I had never seen on his face.

"It is unfortunate that you have to go to your job," the orange danced off his fingers and onto the bar as he pulled me against his chest. I giggled as his lips grazed my ear.

"Yeah, but in a few hours, I'll be back and I'm all yours for the entire weekend," I promised. A low, trilling purr vibrated in his throat as he sealed our deal with another closed-mouth kiss on my lips.

O . . . O . . . O

My arrival into the building of our publishers, where the magazine headquarters was located, caused a bit of shock among the shy, awkward nerds who worked as receptionists, interns and mail-room associates. Most of the time I tried not to attract any attention to myself since I was never a fan of the idea, but that day I ate it up! I waved hello to Marshall, the concierge to the building, and was greeted with a dropped jaw. I stepped into the lift and did a stupid, little happy dance to Lenny Kravitz's "American Woman" as it played over the speaker. On my floor I said hello to Ned, Al's eighteen year old son, who was working as a receptionist while he went to school. Ned's eyes widened as I gave him a little wave and his puffy cheeks went bright red as I passed by.

I walked into my office, flung my handbag onto the doorknob, and stood on my tiptoes to kiss the face on the lithograph above my desk before I flung myself into my chair, swooning with delight. I turned on the television to begin where I left off on my game when Jason entered, complaining about George's obsession with the art show for that night.

"I'm telling you, the man is giving me gray hairs the way he keeps going on and on about this stupid-ass show. You would think that Lady GaGa was performing or something the way he goes on and- oh, my God!" he immediately stopped talking as his eyes landed on my elevated legs. His satchel dropped off his shoulder and he coughed quietly.

"You're wearing the Smexy Boots! Why are you wearing the Smexy Boots? Wait-" he stopped himself then rushed to my side, falling to his knees. "You did it! Fuck, yeah, bitch; you got laid, didn't you?"

I glared at him, hoping no one heard his loud, excited words.

"Dude! Other people work here, too," I nodded to the door.

He slammed the office door shut and jumped into his chair, rolling it over the short grey carpet to bump into mine.

"Tell me, girl! Tellmetellmetellme!" he was nearly bouncing. I answered him by pulling a fresh fifty note from my pocket and flinging it at him.

"He asked for a kiss," my smile returned to my face as I shrugged. Jason's eyes lost some of their glimmer as he looked down at the money on his lap.

"That's it? Just a kiss?"

"That's all he asked for."

"Yeah, but a kiss? That's all you did?!" He sounded so disappointed and I tried to hide the grin that was pulling on my cheeks. If I was a horrible liar, then I was even worse at hiding the truth. I felt my blush return to my face and I dropped my gaze to the black controller in my hands.

"Sara! You naughty, naughty woman! You totally hooked up!" He was on his knees, laughing victoriously.

"I, er, uh, w-well," I stumbled over actually telling him the truth but my actions belied my words, or what constituted as words from my mouth.

"I love you and I fucking hate you! Oh my God, Davis, you actually had sex with him?!"

How was I to reveal this with tact? I looked back up at my friend and slowly nodded which caused him to clap his hands and grab me into a tight, awkward hug.

"I can't believe you actually did it! Was it any good? I mean, well, it had to be good, right? 'Cause you look like you got slapped with a Sexy Stick!"

"It, uh, w-was pretty good," I admitted.

"Just pretty good! Lying bitch! It was phenomenal, wasn't it? God, please, tell it was amazing! I so want to live vicariously through you!"

I was blushing so hard that my eyes felt warm and I hid my face behind my hands, only my eyes peaking up over my frames.

"It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my entire life," I squeaked weakly.

"For reals, guuurrrrl! If you weren't my best friend you'd be my mortal enemy!" another tight hug caused me to gasp for air. He managed to plant kisses all over my cheek while I feebly tried to push him away.

"Oh, God, puulleaaze, tell me you get high from making out with him!"

"Uh, well, y-yeah. You do," I nodded. "It's kind of nice, actually."

"Nice? There is nothing nice about that jade god!" I glanced back at him to see him leaning on the arm of his chair like some kid at story-time. I almost laughed at him, wondering if I should begin my explanation of my evening with "Once Upon a Time".

"He bites," I uttered.

"I bet that's not all he does," he snickered. I almost scolded him but I found myself smirking as I recalled the rushed, passionate sex. "Guess that means you won't be coming with me to Freak Night this evening, because you'll be getting your freak-on somewhere else, right?"

I shook my head and laughed quietly as Jason began to dance around, singing Missy Elliott's "Get U Freak On".

Al walked through the door, his eyes widened as Jason shook his ass while screaming "Is that yo bitch?!"

"Hey, Al!" I greeted, trying with all my might to not laugh out loud. I would do that later. Jason stopped acting the fool and grinned with open shame as our editor simply shook his head at him.

"Hello, Sara. Jason," he eyed him with disapproval.

"Al," Jay nodded and took back his chair.

"Listen, I know it's really short notice, and I want to apologized, but I need to ask something of you two," he began; crossing his arms which meant what he was about to ask was serious. "I am unable to attend the Cosplayer Con next week because something came up. My wife has to get surgery on her deviated septum and that's the only opening her surgeon has for another six month. So, I am really counting on you to take my place since you two are our most popular reviewers. Can you do it?"

I looked over at Jay to see him shrug in acceptance.

"My schedule's open. Davis?"

I chewed nervously on my bottom lip, wondering what I was going to do about Thane for two long days while I was away placating the amusement of the cosplayers. And, then, it hit me. It was a great idea. No, it was brilliant! I even surprised myself!

"Sure," I agreed. "I'm in."

Al smiled widely and nodded.

"Excellent. Don't worry; you'll both be reimbursed for your time. I appreciate it," he waved as he walked out of the office. Jason turned to me, his face sober.

"Sara, what are you going to do about Thane?"

I turned my game back on and smiled at him.

"Where's the best place you can think of to take an alien out in the open public and no one knows he's really an alien?"

O . . . O . . . O

"So, what's the plan for this weekend?" Jason asked as we walked towards the lift on our way to lunch.

"Dunno," I shrugged as I rechecked my iPhone for messages. "Get naked, have sex. Hey, Ned!" I waved as the poor kid slammed face first into the pane of glass that was the break-room door. We both winced in pity as Ned covered his nose with a pudgy hand.

"Ow! Damn, girl! You're gonna kill him before the day's out," Jay shook his head.

"Yeah, probably," I nodded in agreement. "What about you?"

"Other than the freak show that is this evening's extravaganza at the museum, I haven't a clue. Probably Saturday morning our usual trip to the Farmer's Market, since George goes nuts if we don't see who has freshly baked organic rye pumpernickel made in a cast iron oven by some Canadian Rastafarian. Then maybe catch a movie, probably something with Jean Harlow or Audrey Hepburn. After that, I don't know. I know it won't involve some serious pillow-talk with a hot, green alien with a foot-long red dick."

I felt myself blush.

"I never said it was a foot long!" I coughed on my words.

"But it is red, right? Oh, please, tell me I'm right!" My lacking a response was me admitting he was correct.

"Oh, my Gooooddd! Unbelievable, Davis; you 're the luckiest woman in the world right now."

We headed for our usual lunch spot and continued our conversation.

"So, are you saying that you're going to take him with us next weekend?" he sipped on his glass of Coke.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," I nodded.

"How are you going to disguise him?"

"I'm not."

He looked at me with disbelief, eyes blinking rapidly.

"Huh?"

"Jason, just stop and think about it for a second. It's the New York Cosplayer's Convention. The biggest one probably in the world, and he'll be perfect! All we gotta do is say he's a professional hired by BioWare to promote ME3 for next year. And, since we're game reviewers for the most popular gamer magazine in the US it'll sound totally legit. There'll be, like, five Thane cosplayers in bad rubber masks with repainted water pistols and cardboard armor. He'll totally fit in and no one will suspect he's really The Thane 'Muthafuckin'' Krios unless they get too close. And, it's just a guess; I don't think he would allow that to happen."

Jason mulled over the idea, slowly nodding his head as it sank in.

"Okay, but what about his eyes? Even the best SFX make-up can't replicate his peepers."

"Remember the DLC costumes? Thane's featured a black and red stealth suit with a pair of red-mirrored Oakley-looking shades. We hit a Sunglasses Hut in a mall and buy a pair. Voila! Problem solved!"

"And if he talks?"

"We'll say there's a microphone in his jacket with voice distortion linked into the speaker. Police do it all the time. This is fool-proof! Plus, he needs to get out of my apartment. He's been stuck in there for nearly a week and I think he's getting frustrated. Just a guess," I rubbed the sore bite mark on my shoulder.

"If BioWare starts asking questions?"

"I'll send them an email saying that I want to promote the upcoming game. If I know them like I think I do, from a marketing standpoint it'll be genius. They get recognition, I get permission to use their name as an excuse to bring Thane along, and Thane gets out of the house. See? Fool-proof!"

We finished our lunch and headed back to the office, stopping on the way to grab a coffee. I winked at the cute, young barista behind the counter, a pasty-faced emo kid with a labret ring and dark eyeliner around his almost too large brown eyes, and stuffed a couple of ones into the tip jar. He smiled shyly and nearly spilled my latte as he handed it to me.

Jason snorted at the close call as we walked out the door. Back on our floor we continued our talks about weekend plans. Up ahead was Ned, climbing out of the front desk which stood atop a short dais. He was fingering through a pile of notes in his hand, lips moving as he read them.

"Maybe George and I can come over Sunday for lunch," Jason suggested. "That is, unless you are tied up."

"Hmm," I tapped my nails on my cup, "never tried BDSM. Wonder if he's into it. He did get sort of kinky with the whole biting thing. Hey, Ned!" I waved politely again and watched as the clumsy fanboy tripped over the dais step, notes spilling all over the floor. Jason rushed over to help him up while I gathered the pieces of fallen papers. Ned blushed at me and muttered thanks as I smiled.

"You okay, man?" I asked as I patted his arm. He nodded quickly and retreated to his desk to answer the phone.

"You know, you should probably go ahead and just plan on fronting his hospital bills because he'll be in the ER in less than two hours if you keep acting the way you are," Jason laughed.

O . . . O . . . O

"Sara!" Stephanie nearly ran at me with Princess yapping madly in her arms. I felt my eyes widen involuntarily and I clutched protectively to my Gucci bag.

_If that little white bitch tries to bite my boots she's gonna fly!_ I thought in anger.

"Oh, darling, you look amazing! I don't think I've ever seen you look so striking."

"Uh-huh," I checked my watch and saw that it was almost 3:30.

_I might make it up to my apartment by five._

"I must ask you, there's a rumor going around that someone broke into the building last night, but no one reported it to the police. Would you know anything about that?" she batted her falsies at me and I felt a strange feeling of frustration burn in my gut.

"No, I don't," I lied and I shocked myself at how good I sounded. "Please, excuse me," I tried to push past her only to have that horrible fluffball growl at me.

"Are you sure? Because I distinctly heard voices upstairs around one o'clock. I heard a man's voice along with some shouting. A voice I didn't recognize," a smile formed on her plump lips. I narrowed my eyes and dropped my hands to my hips. Enough was enough, and I was officially pissed.

"You want the truth? The honest-to-God truth? Faine!" my southern accent made its presence in my agitated voice. "There is a man in mah apartment, a six-foot-two, green skinned, unbelievably gorgeous alien who had an accidental time warp in his dimension and tripped into mine last week! Last night, after we chased away the couple of idiot kids high on glue that broke down my door, we congratulated each other by fucking our brains out for the rest of evening! Ah am runnin' on about three hours worth of sleep and the last thing Ah wanted to see wuz you standin' in mah way with that stupid smile on yer face, accostin' me on mah laife! So, if you'd laike ta meet him, please come on up! Ah'm sure he'd love hear what kind of excuse you have on listenin' in on our privacy!"

Stephanie's mouth dropped open and she stared at me in shock.

"Well, all you had to say was that it was none of my business," she whispered and pulled Princess into her chest.

"Oh, it's definitely none of yer business, but you have chosen to make it that way! Any other annoyin' questions you'd laike ta ask me?!"

She shook her head and I stormed past her, my high heels cracking over the floor as I walked up the stairs in a hurry.


	10. Chapter 10

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. Caution; adult activities with reptilian humanoids known as Drell can cause side effect such as intoxication, contact dermatitis, sexual arousal, and interruptions from fellow co-worker at inconvenient moments.

Chapter 10: Friday night

I stopped dead in my tracks and let my purse fall to the floor.

_My door's been fixed. Shit!_

I rushed inside, wondering what horrible things could've possibly happened. Did the super hear about the break-in? Did he see Thane? Is the CIA waiting on the other end to cart me back to Area 51 and dissect me because I had sex with an alien?!

He sat along the windows, a stack of books at his feet and looked like he had not been bothered by anyone, neither landlord nor Men In Black. He greeted me with a wide smile as he approached while I stared at my renewed door in shock.

"M-my d-door," I stuttered as I was swept into his arms.

"I repaired it," he replied as he began to kiss along my neck. I looked back at the door. There was still a long crack down the middle and some of the wood was splintered at the broken locks, but for now it was back to being functional. I coughed a laugh and looked back at him with a smile.

"But, I was really looking forward to going to Home Depot and track down the idiot kid who knows nothing about doors even though he works in that department," I teased.

"If you like, I can rip it back down," he said with a touch of dark humor.

"Actually, I'd like to do something else," I risked kissing his throat. Thane let loose a low, deep growl and, in one quick motion, picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Where shall we go, Siha?"

I grinned against his lips, nipping gently at the corner of his mouth.

"Hit the couch, baby."

Clothes flew onto the floor, mouths met hungrily, and I let the warmth of his satiny scales heat and scratch against my skin. My hands gripped to the thick, erected thorns at his arms, a signal of his arousal I never noticed the night before. I felt the drug of his kiss swarm in my veins, Technicolor touches of his fingers burned at my flesh. I fumbled with his briefs, satisfied when the black fabric flew over my sofa. His teeth nibbled at my breast and I gasped. I brushed my fingertips over his crest, looking deep into his eyes.

_Here we go,_ I thought as I felt my breath catch in my throat when he wriggled between my legs. _Another round of mind-blowing, multiple-orgasmic, pure lust induced sex!_

My phone rang and in my drugged state the Imperial March sounded like a Wagner opera aria. I wanted to ignore it, and I did try my best as I continued to make out with Thane.

"Siha," he drifted his mouth down my torso, tongue flicking over my right hip, "perhaps you should answer it." I pulled him back up, my hands sliding down to grab him to prove my point of avoiding answering the hateful thing, causing him to moan and grind against me.

"Do you really want to interrupt this?" I nibbled on his frill. The call went to voicemail allowing us to continue. We were so close, so very fucking close to actually fucking, when that damned phone began playing the ominous ring tone once again.

"Fuck!" I growl in irritation, sat up, and grabbed the offending instrument from the coffee table as Thane kissed over my shoulder. It was a number I didn't recognize and I hesitated answering it. But my thumb slid across the screen before I could allow myself to reject it a second time and I realized it was already at my ear as I said "hello."

"Sara Davis, its Mary Brewster," her dull voice echoed in my brain. I hadn't seen the woman since Monday evening and she had the gall to call at this very moment!

"Gathered that," I frowned. I was gently pulled back down to the cushion and felt warm, wet lips graze down my body. "What do you want?"

"Are you back at your apartment?" she asked hurriedly. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt sharp drell canines dig into my inner thigh and I tried to stifle the moan in my mouth.

"Yes," I breathed. I nearly dropped the phone when he decided to begin pleasuring me.

"Good," Mary barked. "I'll see you in about five minutes." My brain snapped back to reality as I registered the words, my sobriety instantaneous along with horror.

"What?!" I sat up, my skin suddenly ice cold. Thane looked at me with question, one brow plate cocked high on his forehead. It would've been comical if the situation wasn't rift with panic from me.

"Mary," I spoke up but heard nothing on the other side. "Mary?! Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Where the fuck is my bra!?" I scrambled on the floor, not bothering to look for my glasses, as I searched for my clothes.

"Siha?" Thane's voice drifted over my anxiety-rich mind. I looked up, arms covering my nude breasts, and saw him holding the black lace garment in his outstretched hand.

"Thanks," I mumbled and fought to put it back on.

_What the hell could she possibly want? And why didn't she bother to email me earlier? Damn it, why did she have to be so weird?!_

Just as I pulled my shirt back over my head and zipped my jeans, the call button buzzed. A surge of nervous energy ran through me as I unlocked the door for her. Did she find a solution to getting him back home? Would he have to leave now? I leaned against my door feeling sick. I wasn't ready to let him go…

The knock at my door made me jump and I placed a hand over my quickly beating heart. I reached for the knob, took a sad look back at Thane, and fought the tears that were burning in my sinuses.

When I opened the door my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets and my jaw dropped open. Mary was standing in the alcove before two other figures and I just had to laugh. The one to her left was a short, thin but curvy woman dressed in long, black coat, her face concealed by the hood and a long pink scarf around her neck and mouth. But beneath the shadows of the cowl I could see a faint purple glow glinting in the light.

At her left was a tall, awkward character. Baggy sweatpants hung on his thin, strangely shaped legs. The backs had been cut to allow the long spurs to stick out. His face was also covered by a scarf but the sharp protrusions at the back of his head could be seen beneath the hood of his puffer coat.

"Thane," I called and leaned on my door jamb, "you should come here."

Thane stood behind me and his calm exterior dropped immediately at the sight.

"Thank Arashu!" he breathed and reached out towards the female figure, pulling her into a tight hug. Mary sighed and shrugged.

"We need to talk, Davis."

I agreed one hundred percent.

O . . . O . . . O

"I should've told you that I had Garrus and Tali," Mary began as I handed her a tea. Thane, Tali and Garrus had taken to the bar and began talking in a language I couldn't understand. I assumed the quick-paced, slightly hissing Latin-esque tongue was Turian. They had taken off their disguises and hugged tightly, relieved to see each other safe.

"I wasn't sure I could trust you," she admitted.

"I get that, but if you knew I had Thane here, why did you hesitate to wait this long?" I asked.

"Various reasons. I had been doing some calculations in regards to their sudden appearance within our realm and I did start making some headway. It's not complete yet, but I am getting closer. Also, I am the one responsible for harboring the only two dextro-amino xenos who were on-board the Normandy. Their diets are, to say, a little more complicated than levo-based organism like us and the drell," she nodded towards Thane.

"Anyway, the fact that we have found three squad-mates is a good sign that the others are also here. It's just a matter of finding them."

I nodded in agreement, silently relieved that she hadn't been successful yet. Then I felt guilty for thinking that. Thane had to get home, no matter how I was starting to feel about him.

"So, is that the reason why you were absent all week from the magazine?"

Mary nodded and sipped her tea.

"I needed to concentrate and I didn't need the distraction of the office monkeys squawking in my ear. No offense. I didn't mean you," she twitched her lips which I assumed was her smile.

"Wait a minute," I lifted a hand. "How did they end up in your home?"

"I was playing it that evening, just like you were."

"Huh? You claimed that you didn't like Mass Effect."

"My job is to be a reviewer of video games. I said it was satisfactory from the perspective of a strategist like me. For someone like you, with a weakness for stories and unique characters, it became the greatest game ever. I decided to give it another try after it won 'Best Game of the Year' at the VGA's."

"Okay, then. Any idea how we can find the rest?"

"Tali suggested we send an encoded message on the forum threads on the BioWare Social Network. Anyone who is harboring the squad mates would see it and could contact us with their information and who they have. But, if we do contact anyone, we'll need a meeting place. I would suggest somewhere easily accessible to anyone not familiar with New York City."

A smile pulled on my lips and I nodded at the thought. I may not have been a prodigy like Mary, but my IQ said I was border line which meant I had my moments of sheer genius.

"I know the perfect place."

I told her how Al asked Jason and me to represent the magazine at the Cosplayers' Convention and that I planned to take Thane. The Normandy squad stopped their conversation to listen in on my explanation. That's when I remembered I didn't mention the idea to Thane yet but he wasn't all that bothered. In fact, he was rather happy that he was getting a chance to get some fresh air. When I explained to him what the convention was about he even chuckled a little. Mary agreed that it was a fine arrangement to have Madison Square Garden, the location of the two day event, be the place for anyone who received the encoded message with squad mates to meet. When that business was taken care of I was formally introduced to the newest members to our slowly growing group.

Meeting Tali'Zorah and Garrus was the second biggest thrill of my life. The first was obvious. Tali was kind, funny, spunky and intelligent just as she was portrayed in the game. It was sort of unsettling to look beyond her helmet glass and see a pair of glowing white eyes staring back at me, but what I was able to see made me smile. She was cute, sort of elvish-looking with an adoring grin that seemed to stay on her face the whole time she was in my home.

Garrus was also nice and it was a bit intimidating to be in his presence. But it didn't take long to get used to him, especially since Thane was so happy to see him. He was also much taller than I expected, his long fringe reaching probably somewhere close to seven feet. Unlike in the game where it showed him never removing the patches over his scars, his marred complexion was openly revealed and he seemed somewhat proud of them. Then again, if I lived to tell the tale of how I fought masses of crazy mercenaries with only a sniper rifle as my last line of defense I would be happy to show them off as well.

I continued to talk to Mary, mainly to give Thane a chance to catch up with the other two squad mates. It was actually pretty sweet to see him so excited and I smiled as I watched his eyes light up as he laughed over stories shared between the three of them.

"It is odd to see him so content," Mary commented as she listened in on the foreign words.

"Why?" I asked.

"He is portrayed as a bit of a brooder, a quiet, pensive sort, and yet he seems to be a very spirited individual."

"Don't you think that if you just found the friends you thought were lost you'd be happy, too?" I pointed out.

She nodded in agreement then her face screwed into a strange look of confusion.

"What?"

"I smell," she sniffed the air around her then buried her nose into the back cushions of my sofa. "Hmm, that's interesting."

I tried playing dumb, wondering if my normal failed attempts at feigning ignorance would be detected by her.

"What's that?" I hid my smirk behind my tea mug.

"Your couch smells like cologne. Men's cologne, actually. Very expensive men's cologne." She took a deeper whiff and seemed to smile. My eyes narrowed instinctively and I had the strangest desire to growl menacingly at her. I actually had to stop myself before I acted impulsively, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Was it possible that not only did Thane's "Spice" make me hornier than a cat in heat but also made me territorial over him?

"He sleeps here, doesn't he?" she whispered, her hands planted into the sofa as she continued to rub her nose into the fabric.

"He did," I said pointedly. Mary sat up and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh! I see. Well, I guess he would fall for someone like you. After all, you are smart, kind, beautiful."

My brow flew up my forehead at the last word muttered from her mouth and I coughed to keep from laughing.

"Now that I think about it, I don't really like the scent. Too exotic for me," she blushed. I felt a swelling of pride bubble in my chest.

_Ha! You have been owned, Brewster! Thane's mine!_

I shook my head and started to reconsider the power that the pheromones had over me. It did nothing to Jason but made him acknowledge that my home did smell different. It made Mary do a nose dive into my furniture and rub over the seat like a dog with an itch. I wondered, if it made human females go into instant lust what that scent did to drell women. They probably went temporarily insane.

But, I noticed, that as we continued to talk she would take a glance back at the sofa cushion with yearning, her jaw was slacked somewhat and her eyes dilated.

When they finally left, somewhere around midnight, I felt my body succumb to the extreme amount of sleep deprivation and I sank weakly into the sofa. Thane joined me shortly, a cheerful smile on his face.

"Are you happy?" I asked as I dropped my head to his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me close.

"I am, Siha. It is wonderful to see them again."

"I'm glad, babe," I snuggled against him, breathing in his spice. I almost laughed as I thought of Mary's attraction to his scent and how I was ready to start swinging. I'd never been in a fight in my life, being the passive coward I was known for. But I was surprised at my quick reaction to claim my dominance over her. I didn't think he had any intention of inciting a riot between me and her and I suddenly thought back to Jason's joking just days ago. The mental image of me clawing at her eyes and screaming "you whore" made me start to question my feelings for him. Yes, I adored him. He proved to be such a sweet, caring, attentive person. But was it as simple as that?

I yawned widely and closed my eyes, already beginning to fall asleep. In fact, I didn't even remember him picking me up and carrying me back to the bed. I did wake up long enough to take off my clothes, curl up next to him, and feel him wrap his arms around me. He purred me back to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. Warning; having friends could result in the merciless teasing of your sex life while in the presence of current lover.

Chapter 11: Sunday (or, Oh, You Know What Happened Saturday!)

"Let me in!" Jason cried over the speaker and I just had to laugh as I unlocked the lobby doors for him. I walked over to the bar to grab my coffee, quickly pulled into Thane's arms for him to steal a kiss.

"Aren't you getting tired of making out with me?" I grinned. He smiled coyly as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Never," he kissed me again, obviously not caring if my friends caught me high as a kite. His hands drifted beneath my robe and I instinctively arched my back at his touch.

The events of Saturday turned me into an official xenophile. We barely left my bed and when we weren't acting like insane rabbits breeding we talked. He told me about the people who earned his respect on the Normandy. Shepard and Samara were probably the closest friends he had since most were either afraid of him or held some kind of prejudice against his career. I told him about my boring past, my boring job, and my boring life in general. We laughed a lot, kept tears at bay as we recalled sad moments, and even admitted little secrets about each other that no one knew.

I was even privy to watch him sink into a memory lapse as he recalled the birth of his son, the fear of being a new father and the absolute joy he felt as he held the tiny, vulnerable life in his hands; hands that only knew death. I blinked away my tears as I heard the pain in his voice and I kissed his fingertips.

"I wish you could see yourself as I do, Thane."

He sighed sadly and rapidly blinked his eyes as he attempted to hold in his emotions.

"You're too kind, Siha. I'm a wicked man," he shook his head. I touched his cheek and placed a kiss on the bridge of his nose.

"No, you're not. You just made a few bad decisions just like everybody else has. Doesn't make me run screaming from you, now does it?"

His response was a long, passionate embrace, and a rushed whisper in my ear. At the time I didn't know what he said and I didn't bother to ask him as the kiss turned into another round of knock-my-socks-off sex.

"You are such a bad boy," I teased as his lips drifted down my neck, seconds away from Jason catching us in the act of groping like a couple of hormone-driven teenagers.

"Perhaps, but you seem to favor my questionable behavior," he purred.

_Oh, be still my heart!_

"Do I ever, but we should probably stop the heavy petting before we become involuntary exhibitionist," I warned. He nodded, pulled away, and grabbed his mug of tea just as Jason walked through the door. He didn't even bother to put a shirt over his naked chest and I wondered what kind of sputtering I would hear spew from Jason's slacked jaw.

My friend slid into my apartment, sans George, with a bag of fresh bagels in his hands. He stopped dead in his tracks, hazel eyes locked on Thane's exposed torso, and coughed.

"Hey, Jay!" I greeted with a wry grin.

"There is a God and he loves me," he whispered as I took the bagels from his hand before they fell to the floor.

"Where's George?"

"He's coming. He couldn't decide what he wanted and I got tired of waiting on him," he grabbed a mug from my cabinet, looking back at Thane who's attention was on the morning news. Thane waved politely and smiled a cheeky grin, causing my friend to blush which was rare for him to do and it made me laugh.

"I've got some really good news to tell you, but I want to hear about Friday," I said as I poured three cups of coffee, one for George when he finally made it up. Jason blinked himself back to reality after openly drooling over my drell lover and sat down at the bar.

"Ugh! Where do I begin? So wish you were there, but, well, I knew you had previous engagements," he cleared his throat then winked at Thane. The drell simply huffed in humor to the implied.

"So, to set the scene, when everyone goes in its pitch black in the gallery," he began. "Then this creepy ass pan flute music begins to play over the speakers, like make your skin crawl creepy! Slowly, they raise the lights and there's this short, fat guy wearing a full-body latex suit and a bright orange gas mask. I'm thinking, 'okay, this must be the artist.' But no! The artist comes barreling down the exhibit hall in, get this Davis, a red satin corset and gold-glitter-covered platform heels, screaming at the top of his lungs 'Noooo! Don't hurt me, Mommy!' He dumps an entire bucket of day-glo yellow paint all over the fat dude, who doesn't move a muscle, then proceeds to throw white feathers all over him.

"He turns to the audience, a weird mix of upper crust socialites and artsy-smartsy hipster assholes in vintage 1970's tuxedos and points his finger at each person whispering 'waste, waste, waste!' I'm totally freaking out at this point as this whole screwed up nightmare continues. But the piece-de-resistance, he grabs a pair of Alexander McQueen Armadillo shoes, like the ones GaGa wore in her 'Bad Romance' video, and busts them up with a silver painted sledgehammer. Inside the shoes he had theatre blood and there was just red liquid shit all over everything!

"I did not clap, but everyone else was murmuring and praising this whackjob's brilliance. Matter of fact, I ran to the bar and ordered a shot of vodka just to help get the taste of horror and corn syrup from my mouth."

"Wow!" was all I could say.

"Yeah. I posted some pics on my Facebook page. You'll die laughing!"

George then walked in looking his best in white linen pants, a pale violet shirt, and an Hermes scarf tied around his neck.

"Oh, I'm such a slave to sugar. This bear claw's going to add ten pounds to my protruding gut! Sara! Oh, sweetie, you look radiant! It's like you're glowing from the inside out!" he gushed.

I handed him his coffee and shrugged.

"Meh, I got into some gamma radiation. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like it," I joked causing Jason to laugh out loud. George didn't get it. He then moved on to praise and compliment Thane, acting oblivious to the fact that he was half-dressed.

"And Mister Thane Krios! Lovely, to see you, my darling! You look happy, too! Oh, wait. Ohhh, I think, did, Sara Davis! Did you and him-together-oh my stars!" he blushed.

"So much for keeping a secret," I felt my cheeks burn and tried to draw my attention towards the bag o' bagels.

"Oh, sweetie, I can read a woman like a Reader's Digest in bold print! No wonder you are looking gorgeous! Sex does wonders for a girl's skin."

_So does intimate exfoliation via dry humping a drell_, I thought wryly.

"I had a feeling that you two would hit it off because the other day when we were here I noticed that he just couldn't take his eyes off of you, giving you those adoring puppy dog eyes," George batted his lashed as example. I dropped my head into my hands and looked up and Jason through my fingers.

"What are the symptoms of a heart attack? I think I'm having one," I squeaked.

"Oh, stop, Sara! We're all adults here and we can all talk about intimacy in comfort, I believe. Right?"

"Maybe he's not comfortable with the idea," I motioned to Thane.

"To keep from discussing activities amongst close friends would denote a lacking in satisfaction," he smiled gently as he leaned towards me. "I am hoping that's not the case, Siha."

My forehead hit the bar as I blushed clear down to my neck.

"Yep, full cardiac arrest!"

"He's gotcha there, Davis," I heard Jason snicker. "So, what's the good news?"

I lifted my head and readjusted my glasses, hoping that my blush was starting to fade.

"So, I got a call Friday when I got home and it was Mary," I wasn't about to tell them that while she called I was seconds away from "getting it on". Jason blinked in surprise.

"Really? Where the hell has she been?"

"Home. And when she called she was minutes away from walking through my door. But, here's the interesting bit. She has Tali and Garrus."

The bagel that was in Jason's mouth dropped to my bar, landing cream cheese side down.

"No fucking way! For reals, Davis?!"

I nodded somberly and sipped my coffee.

"Did you meet them?"

"Yes, I did." I patted Thane's arms as he wrapped them around my shoulder.

"Uh-Maze-Ing! What is she doing with them, then? How'd they end up in her home? I have a million questions that need answered," he jabbered quickly.

"She was playing the game the very same night I was. The wormhole evidently opened up on her end and she wound up getting two squad mates. She said she's also been figuring out a way to get everyone back, once we track the rest down, that is," I shrugged.

"How do we do that?"

I told Jason the plan to send a message through the BSN with the intent to meet up at the Cosplayers Convention. He agreed that it was a great idea.

"Okay, but wait a minute," he held up his hands, a frown on his forehead. "I thought she was one of the few morons that thought ME2 wasn't good."

"She claims that she wants to be seen as the 'Strategy Gamer' of Haven, which means ME2 wouldn't be that good for her. From my perspective, as the RPG Queen, it was far beyond my expectations," I replied.

"I bet that's not all that's been beyond your expectations," he winked lewdly.

"Not cute, dude," I shook a finger at him.

"Aw, sure it is, Sara!" George interjected happily. "Do you not see yourself right now? Sparkling eyes, pink cheeks-"

"I have allergies," I quipped back.

"Riiiight," he drawled in a Dr. Evil voice.

"How many more do you need to find?" George asked, actually showing some interest to the conversation.

"Eleven," I said after doing a quick mental count in my head.

"Do you think Mary would mind if we went to her house to meet Garrus and Tali? I adored Tali!" Jason was nearly bouncing off the barstool.

"Don't know," I shrugged. "Mary's even more antisocial than me and that's saying a lot."

We continued to talk about the upcoming Cosplayers Con and how we could gather the rest of the crew when a knock came at my door. I was surprised and began to silently panic since my visitors were normally announced before they approached the door. Jason rushed to peek out of the peephole while I ran back towards my bedroom to put on appropriate clothes (jeans, tee-shirt, undergarments) and also to hide Thane just in case it was someone who didn't know I was secretly harboring an alien from another dimension. I listened in as Jason opened the door and recognized Al's voice.

_What the hell is my boss doing at my home on a Sunday?!_

"I got a message from Mary," he said, "and he wanted to see him, to make sure he's okay."

My brow furrowed in confusion as I looked up at Thane.

_ Who wanted to see who and why would Mary talk to him?_

"Sure, sure!" Jason's eager voice chirped and I heard the door close. "Let me just go get Sara."

I was quickly throwing on my jeans, falling onto my unmade bed as I fought to pull my legs through the holes.

Suddenly, Thane's eyes went super wide and his frill began to flare slightly. Something had made him very excited and I doubted it was my clumsy ass attempting to throw on my clothes. Jason knocked on my door, rapidly, and I nearly fell off the bed as my heart pounded quickly.

"Hey, Sara, you're safe. It's just Al. And John Shepard."

As I sat up, way too quickly, my hair fell over my face, temporarily blinding me, and I did drop to the carpet with a hard thud. Thane was there at my side a second later, helping me stand.

"Are you alright, Siha?" he held my hand to his chest and I could feel his waltz-timed heartbeat quicken.

"Aside from the sudden loss of mental control and the lovely rug burns I'm gonna have on my knees, sure," I muttered.

I couldn't believe it. Commander Shepard! In my home!

"You knew he was here, didn't you?" I asked the drell as I grabbed a tee-shirt from my closet.

"His scent is easily detected. And his footsteps I recognized," he informed and I began to wonder if I had a certain smell about me. Then I wondered if it was a pleasant aroma or off-putting. I took a sniff check at my shoulder and all I could smell was Tide detergent.

I walked out of my room, Thane behind me finally wearing a shirt, and approached the edge of my hall.

Al was at the bar, with his meaty hands in the pockets of his cargo khaki's wearing his usual care-free smile beneath his neatly trimmed beard and mustache. Next to him was a handsome, charismatic-looking gentleman in every day jeans and a sweater. If I had seen him walking down the street I never would've thought that this was Commander John Shepard. He smiled warmly, a touch of flirtation to the crooked grin, and nodded his head in greeting. But his grin widened as did his eyes when he focused his gaze upon Thane who stood protectively behind me.

"Thane! Thank God, man!" he rushed to him, arms wrapping tightly around Thane's shoulders.

"Shepard," Thane teared-up and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You doing okay?" Shepard asked with genuine concern and Thane nodded quickly.

"I am well. Sara has been much too kind," he smiled at me and reached for my hand. Shepard's eyebrows shot up his forehead and his charming smile returned to his face.

"I see!"

Another hot blush rose in my cheeks as I stared down at my feet.

"J-just trying to be helpful," I muttered. Thane was behind me in a second, his arms around my waist.

"Most helpful, Siha," he purred in my ear.

Yep, I just died from my heart stopping!

In the background I heard Al chuckling.

"Thought you seemed a little different, Sara."

I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and prayed a third time that week for a black hole to suck me into oblivion.

"I'm convinced that no one knows how to use modern communication methods anymore," I wondered out loud. "Coffee Al? Commander?"

"Sure!" Shepard accepted happily as I rushed into my kitchen.

"You're right, Sara, I should've called," Al began to apologize. "But Mary said that she wanted to get everyone together in order to discuss further plans. She should be here shortly."

"And my home has been volunteered to be the Base of Operations. Thanks, Mary!" I didn't bother to mask the frustration in my voice.

"Well, you have the most room, which we're going to need."

I nodded slowly in agreement and allowed my anger to fade, somewhat, as I handed the coffee to Al and Shepard.

"Lemme guess; you were playing ME2 last Friday night, too."

"I was," Al nodded. "Mary mentioned that there seemed to be a connection. Maybe that's how we can narrow down our search. Anyone who happened to be playing the game that evening might have one of the squad mates."

I agreed with him and we continued to talk as we waited for Mary to make her appearance. As our talks switched to the mundane (the magazine, family life, etcetera) I glanced back at my sofa where Shepard and Thane sat. A soft, flowing, almost elegant language from the two danced over our broken, guttural English. A faint amber glow had curled around Shepard's arm and I easily recognized the Omni Tool interface. He, however, spoke regular North American English and I realized the Commander was using a translator.

"Is that so?" his rich voice echoed in my living room.

"_Due_'," the drell nodded as he began to speak in the lovely alien tongue. He looked down at his hands and I watched as a shy (_Thane, shy?)_ smile curled on his full lips. "_Ya lieseh orre'_." Shepard nodded slowly and patted his shoulder.

"I can see that, my friend."

I was suddenly so curious of what was being said, but it was pushed aside as the speaker buzzed to announce another visitor.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Mary Brewster to see Sara Davis," she announced and I shook my head.

"Mary, this IS Sara," I sighed as I unlocked the door for her. "Come on up." I almost regretted allowing her entrance despite the need to get the squad back to their time. Thane put it best when he met her last Monday; she was indeed a very strange person.

Moments later my door was knocked upon rapidly, with probably more force than necessary, and I sluggishly shuffled towards it.

"Hello, Mary," I greeted. She pulled her lips thin, her trademark sort-of smile, and quickly walked in followed by Garrus and Tali back in the strange disguises that really didn't so much disguise as it added additional questions of "What the hell is wrong with those two?"

I watched as Shepard ran towards the turian and the quarian, greeting them kindly. Jason's jaw dropped open and he mouthed to me "Oh my God! Fucking Garrus Vakarian!" I laughed at his crazed fanboy attack.

"It's good to see you again, Shepard," Tali said as she unwrapped the scarf from her helmet. The four squad mates were left alone to talk as I was dragged back over to the bar in hopes of finishing my now cold coffee. Mary stopped in her tracks and stared at Jason in surprise.

"Altman knows of the situation?" she asked me.

"Of course, he knows! I called him in panic, with the hope of maybe he could offer some kind of help," I replied. Mary sighed loudly and approached the bar.

"Very well. I suppose if you two are going to the Cosplayers Convention as representatives of the magazine that he would understand the planning. Do I smell Kona coffee?"

I grabbed my coffee maker carafe and poured her a fresh cup. At least this time she didn't smell Thane's "spice" and start rolling on my floor like a cat going nuts over catnip.

Despite her odd behavior, she offered some interesting information and suggestions to the group as we got to work. She tried explaining some deeply entailed theories that had something to do with the way the universe worked but I drowned out her highly confusing speech for fear of my brain exploding from all the weird-ass science. I simply took her word for it after a while.

An hour later, and a plan put into play for Friday and Saturday, we ordered pizza for lunch and got to know the other squad mates better. Tali grabbed a thermos of some unknown substance and began to sip it through her breathing port with a straw.

"He's really very sweet on you, you know," I could see her smile beneath the dark violet glass of her helmet. I smiled and shrugged absently, my mouth full of thin crust pie.

"I'm serious, Sara. You have become more than just a friend or even someone of romantic interest to Thane," she patted my arm. "He really cares for you."

I tried smiling through the tears and nodded to her.

"I care a lot for him, too," I admitted. And that's when I realized that maybe what I was feeling was much more than just infatuation. Maybe there was something more, something deeper.

It scared the hell out of me.


	12. Chapter 12

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Haagen Dazs (but it is delicious), Home Depot, and Food Network. The author would like to add that she loves bacon. No, really, really loves bacon.

Chapter 12: Monday

I rolled to my left and immediately sat up when I realized Thane wasn't at my side. The sound of wheezing and coughing came from the living room and I ran from my bedroom to the sight that made me go cold and nauseous. He was on his hands and knees fighting to breathe. I stood frozen for a second, my brain refusing to work.

_No, no! This can't be happening! I have to help him! Fucking move, Sara!_

I rushed to his side and fell to my knees. His eyes were wet and wide and his mouth was parted as he gasped. He turned his head slightly to look at me and I noticed that his lips went from the soft pink to a pale, sickly blue tone. The only thing I could relate to the pain he was experiencing were the asthma attacks I used to have as a kid. Finally feeling my brain snap awake, I grabbed him around the waist and forced him to sit up with his back against my chest.

"Arms up, baby, arm up!" I ordered in as calm a voice as I could manage. I could feel his muscles tremble from the strain. I pressed my head to his back and heard the dry, sharp rattling from his lungs. My hands massaged into his chest with the hope that maybe the motion would help circulate blood, relieve some of the pressure around his bronchial tubes.

"S-si-h-h-a," he tried to speak. I tilted his head up, forcing his neck to open more.

"Don't talk, Thane," I whispered. "Concentrate on breathing, okay? Just listen to the sound of my voice and relax. Breathe, just breathe," I continued to talk gently, coaxing him to calm, to focus.

It seemed like years before the spasms ended. He collapsed against me, his head dropping to my lap as I held him and stroked the crests of his skull. His breathing was still shallow and labored but he finally fell asleep. I tried to keep watch for the rest of the night, my anxiety still high despite some relief as I felt him curl his arms around my legs.

_My God!_ I thought with fear. He could've died.

I reached up behind me and grabbed a blanket from the nearby armchair and wrapped it around us and tried not to fall asleep. But I was worn out from the short battle and Thane was pretty much comatose when I felt my eyelids drop like a castle portcullis.

O . . . O . . . O

I dialed the number and waited for the other line to pick up. I tapped my foot nervously as I heard it ring for a third time.

"Come on, come on!" I whispered anxiously. Finally, I heard the click followed by a man's gentle tenor.

"Hello?"

I perked up and felt my heart jump into my throat as I took a quick glance back at Thane who had made his way to the sofa and fell into a troubled but deep sleep.

"Brian, its Sara."

"Yes, it's also seven in the mornin'," my brother complained, his southern accent more apparent than mine.

"I know, and I'm very sorry, but I have an emergency," I decided not to beat around the bush. "I need your help."

"Oookay," I could almost see his frown through the phone. I hurriedly thought of a way to get his approval for what I hoped would help.

"I have a friend visiting and, well, he has a rare case of emphysema, and he couldn't bring his oxygen machine. Last night he had an attack. I'm hoping you can issue me one for him to use while he's here. I can go pick it up just tell me where to go." I prayed that he took it as truth, which it sort of was. I mean, what the hell was I to tell my brother? Hey, Brian, ole buddy, ole pal! Listen, I have an extraterrestrial with Keprals Syndrome staying in my home and he can't breathe. I need you to forge your signature on a prescription for an oxygen machine, oh pretty pretty please!

"Why didn't he go to the ER, Sare?"

_Shit! Abort, abort!_

"All they would do is keep him over night to monitor him and send him back out, putting me back in the same bind. He'll be staying here for a while."

"The hospital should take care of that. Why couldn't he bring it with him?"

Come on, Sara, think, you stupid, foggy brained idiot!

"TSA. You know how fucked up it's getting lately."

"It's medical equipment. No one should've said a thing, and if they did he has a valid lawsuit."

"Brian, please! I can't take him to the hospital! Just do this favor for me, please! I'm begging you!" I couldn't come up with any additional excuses and I was seconds away from dropping to the floor and sobbing like a baby.

"Sara, Ah may be your brother, but Ah'm also a doctor. The best thing for him at this point is someone who can administer the kind of care he needs at a hospital level."

I ran a hand over my face and choked back my tears. My lover was hurting and my fucking brother was keeping him from getting the help he needed. I took another look back at Thane and felt a tear drop from my eye. So, I did the only thing I could comprehend would work at this point; blackmail.

I grit my teeth behind my lips and pushed my glasses back up my nose.

"Brian Michael Davis, if you don't call in that oxygen machine setup for me, Ah swear to God, Ah'll call Melissa and tell her that during yer bachelor party you went down on some cheap-ass porn star at the strip club!"

There was a long pause on the other end.

"How do you know about that?" he asked quietly. I felt a wry smile on my face.

Well played, Sara!

"Lambert told me when he got drunk at your reception," I informed. Elijah Lambert was Brian's best man. He also was the idiot who hired said porn star to the events.

"Fine. Gimme five minutes to place the order online. Ah'll email you when it's been confirmed."

I sighed in relief as more tears broke free.

"Thank you, Brian. You have no idea what this means to me."

"Must mean a hell of a lot for you to threaten my marriage," he snapped back. "You owe me, Sara."

"Don't I ever," I hung up and fell into the chair.

O . . . O . . . O

I called Al and gave him a quick explanation for my absence for the day, which he thankfully understood, then called Jason to come over and keep an eye on Thane, still asleep, as I grabbed a cab for the Hospice supply shop where Brian called in the order for the small apparatus. I also picked up a dehumidifier at the Home Depot nearby thinking that maybe it would help a little. Back home I struggled to take the boxes back up the four flights of stairs, exhausted and frustrated to my wits' ends.

Jason helped me into the door and began to unpack the dehumidifier as I sat down on the edge of the sofa with the small plastic mask in one hand.

"Thane, babe," I gently woke him with a touch to his cheek and he fluttered his eyes open. He lifted a hand to touch my face, breath still weak and broken. I placed the mask over his nose and mouth and turned it on just as the associate had showed me.

And I waited.

The blued lips began to flush pink and plump as he breathed in the oxygen. I sighed and felt my head drop down. Jason wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly.

"He'll be okay, Davis," he assured.

_Sure, but for how much longer,_ I thought in despair.

Fingertips lifted my chin up and I looked into those huge green and black eyes. Thane nodded his head and patted his chest as if to say "it's helping".

"Go back to sleep," I whispered and kissed his cheek. The eyes closed as he drifted back into a more relaxed slumber. I dropped my head on Jason's shoulders and breathed.

Another battle for this Siha to win, and I felt like shit.

O . . . O . . . O

"Sara, eat!" Jason threw the bacon in front of me and I ignored it. It had been two hours since I returned home and Thane's rest was much more peaceful. But I couldn't help recalling the nightmare of watching him suffer. I scooted the plate away from me, making Jason blink in shock. Under normal circumstances you couldn't keep bacon around me for too long before I devoured it.

"Not hungry, Jay," I muttered absently.

"Look, he's gonna be fine, alright? You got him that machine, you got the dehumidifier; it'll give him some comfort. Just how did you get that oxygen tank anyway?"

"Dr. Davis and his pre-marital infidelity," I shrugged.

"You are an evil woman," he teased as he laughed quietly. I wasn't in the mood for his wisecracks and I walked away towards my room. I collapsed back onto my bed and buried my nose into Thane's pillow, breathing in the scent of cardamom, vanilla, and musk. I just couldn't pull myself out of my somber mood and I continued to lay there for a moment, wishing that I never met him, that he never fell into my life. If he never existed then I wouldn't have to feel for him, I wouldn't have taken pity and allowed him to stay in my home. I wouldn't have felt his hands on my bared skin or tasted his lips on mine.

"Hey," Jason said quietly as he crept into my room. I refused to look up as I pulled on the bared thread in the pillow sham. My friend lay next to me and gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"You okay?"

"No," I shook my head. "No, I'm not okay, Jason. I don't think I ever will be now."

"You love him, don't you? And, don't shake your head at me. I see it in your eyes which are all red and puffy and full of tears. It's not just infatuation any longer, is it? You really do love him."

I stood up and began to pace the floor, my breath escaping in ragged, shaking sobs.

"No. No, no, I can't. Because, soon, he'll be leaving. Forever! And if something happens that he's stuck here I watch him die a very slow and painful death! So, regardless of how this may look to you, I can't let myself fall in love- with him," I dropped to the floor and wept bitterly.

"Too late," Jason knelt next to me and I found myself holding to him as I cried.

"Why? Why me? Why did he have to come to me?!"

"Who else would care for him like you? You're his Siha, his protector, Sara. He loves you."

"Please, leave me alone," I begged. Jason left my side while I attempted to gather myself as much as I could. My heart hurt, both physically and metaphorically. As much as I didn't want to admit it to anyone, myself mostly, I was in love with him.

And it broke my heart.

O . . . O . . . O

Thane woke up late afternoon a little weak but significantly better than before. And, much to my surprise, extremely hungry! George arrived after his work ended and donated a rather hefty mass of sandwiches and desserts from the Carnegie Deli. Thane even went so far as to not ask permission to raid my cabinets, refrigerator, and the bags of food offered by George in search of sustenance. The poor guy scarfed down two tunafish salad sandwiches on honey wheat, a whole bag of potato chips, three apples, and the pint of Haagen Dazs Green Tea ice cream.

"My goodness!" George exclaimed as he watched Thane chug a tall glass of water. "It's like watching those champion eaters on Food Network!"

The drell looked down at his slightly protruding belly and gently patted it, almost proudly. I actually found myself laughing for the first time that day.

"How do you feed a Hungry Man?" Jason sang.

"Apparently with tuna salad and ice cream," I returned with a smile.

"Oh, I have some fantastic news!" George grabbed for my hands. "A little birdie told me that those Louboutins you've been ogling over are coming to Barneys!" he clapped my hands together and I smiled weakly. "I called Felicia and told her your size and she's going to set you back a pair! Doesn't that just thrill you to death?"

At that moment I found myself not wanting them. I let go of his hands and shook my head. George's smile faded into a look of shock as I shrugged.

"But, Sweetie, you've been working so hard! They were going to be your 'I Got a Review in Consumer Reports' shoes."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "But I think I might just set the money back for a rainy day. I have enough shoes to last me about ten years or so, so it's cool."

"Well, okay, Sara Bear. No pressure, of course."

I watched as Jason finished reading about the dehumidifier and plugged it into the wall near the wall o' windows. Thane walked over to investigate the new item; a strange look of humility drawn into his eyes. He turned to me and blinked rapidly as his hand went to his heart.

"Siha, you- didn't need to- "

"Yes, I did," I nodded. To my surprise, Thane calmly walked out of the living room and down the hall where he shut the bedroom door. Jason, George and I all looked at each other in confusion. I sat down my can of Coke and excused myself from my company as I went after him. I wondered if I would find him angered or upset as I opened the door. He was sitting on my bed cross-legged with his hands folded under his chin. I would've guessed he was meditating if I didn't see his eyes blink.

"You okay, babe?" I asked after a few quiet seconds. He looked up at me with wet eyes, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. My heart ached for him and I grabbed a few tissues from the box on my stand to give him. He gingerly took them from me and continued to stare down at his crossed ankles in silence. I was about to leave him in peace when his hand snapped out, faster than I could blink, and pulled me to him. His lips pressed hard against mine, sharp teeth cutting into my mouth and I could taste iron on my tongue from where he inadvertently drew blood.

"W-wait, Thane, sweetheart!" I pushed him back gently. He looked away, ashamed, and I rested my hand on his jaw as I pressed my forehead to his.

"Tell me what's wrong."

He ran his fingers though my hair and place small, apologetic kisses on my face.

"No one has ever helped me as much as you; even Shepard who helped me to find Kolyat cannot compare to what generosity you've bestowed to me. You do so much and ask for nothing in return. There is no one around me who is so selfless."

"Yeah, right. That can't be true," I let him rest his head on my shoulder.

"It is true, I'm afraid. When you are feared as I know I am, no one dares to be a part of your life. I know that you are well aware of what I am-"

"Yes, I am," I stopped him by placing my fingertips over his lips. "I am also aware of who you are. You are a good man with a good heart, Thane. Here you are, making me sound like some kind of a saint when you're the one trying to set things right and I know it's not to make yourself look so much better to others. I lo-," I stopped myself before I actually said the word. "I care for you, very much."

A soft smile broke on his face and he leaned in to kiss me.

"Why don't you just stay in here for a few minutes, meditate and clear your mind, and I'll go tell Jason and George you needed a little space. Okay?" He nodded in agreement and let me leave him alone.

"He's still not feeling good," I explained as I returned to my company. They nodded in understanding and I listened as George change subject to his pride over the success of Friday's show while Jason made silly, disgusted faces. I tried not to laugh as I nodded and agreed with George. I was glad that things were returning to normal. But I knew that deep down things would never be normal. I was changed in so many different ways. I still looked like the same old silly Sara in her screen-printed tee-shirts and skinny jeans but inside I was transforming into something I couldn't quite recognize at that time. I was afraid that I would lose myself, that I would lose sight of what had become important to my life. I worked hard to get to where I was, making a name for myself not just as a game reviewer but as a trustworthy source for the gaming community. Thane was changing that. He was making me see that there was more to Sara Davis than just a plain Jane woman in black hipster frames with sarcasm to boot.

He was cutting my heart open; making me bleed emotions even though all I wanted to do was run and hide from them. I knew Jason and George and my family loved me and I loved them back in a purely platonic way. But Thane…

When my friends finally left for the evening I walked back to my bedroom and found him still on my bed, stack of books next to him. He quickly cleaned them up when his attention was pulled away from whatever he was reading. He coughed dryly as he stood up, clearing his throat in slight shame.

"It will take some time for me to recover from the spasm," he explained. "But, thanks to you, I shall heal quickly," he took my hands.

"We should get some rest. God knows I need it," I sighed lowly. He nodded in agreement as we headed for the bed. He curled up next to me, head on my chest. My caressing his frill caused the cute purring to vibrate gently from his throat. I was almost asleep when I heard him whisper to me, his hands grasping tightly to my waist.

"Siha,"

"Hmm?"

Soft lips traveled up my neck and ended at my ear.

"_Ya lieseh ea_'."

I wasn't sure how to respond to a statement in a language I couldn't understand, so I simply nodded stupidly. Moments later, I was asleep and the hell that was Monday was finally over.


	13. Chapter 13

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Cosmopolitan magazine, Oakley eyewear, Master Chief, Deadmau5, and Red Bull. Commander Shepard has not formally announced that this is his favorite fanfic on the Citadel.

Chapter 13: Cosplayers' Convention, Day One Part One

The remainder of the week went on without a hitch, but as Friday began to loom I started getting nervous. Just how many squad mates would we find? Could I actually get away with Thane as a cosplayer? How much time did I have left with him?

Wednesday evening Al called and asked if Shepard could stay in my home for the weekend while he took his wife to the hospital for her surgery. At least I knew he was telling the truth and I agreed the arrangement, making up the sofa for the Commander to sleep on. It was no mystery among everyone that Thane and I had some kind of "paramour" going on. It got to the point that no matter how hard I tried to act cool and collected he would do something that made me melt. It was another reason I fell for him; he forced me out of my comfort zone but never in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.

As the days went by his health restored back to normal for him and he seemed eager to be a part of the insanity that was the convention. I had come in contact with plenty of cosplayers at the bigger ComicCons such as the SDCC, DragonCon, and other massive gatherings, but this was to be my first convention exclusive to those lovable fans who devoted hours, days, even months to creating the perfect interpretation of a favored character, be it a wide-eyed anime hero or a sleek-suited comic book villain and everywhere in between. Jason and I confirmed our appearances within the "Games Section" with the promise of something "special".

Friday morning I woke a little early to get ready and smiled as I took a peek back at Thane who had fallen back into a light sleep. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful; until I noticed the long string of drool dripping from his bottom lip. I had to run into my bathroom to keep from breaking into hysterical giggles. I quickly showered, dressed in clothes I considered appropriate to represent the magazine, and started to apply my make-up. Lately, I had been leaving my hair free from the tight clutches of my ponytail bands, mainly due to the fact that Thane would constantly pull the band from my hair before I traipsed off to work.

In the reflection of my mirror a dark figure fell into the background. I turned around to watch Thane snap the collar of his suit jacket. A flock of crazed butterflies filled my gut and I swallowed hard. He was back in the leather armor. It was just another reminder that time was waning. It was also a smack to reality that Thane wasn't just some sweet, passive lover; he was, first and foremost, an assassin and he always would be.

I grabbed the sunglasses case off my vanity table and opened the lid to stare at the red-mirrored lenses.

_Here I go_, I sighed inwardly, _off to throw the poor drell into the mad chaos of overly enthusiastic fans._

"Here," I said as I handed the case to him. "Your disguise."

He "humph'ed" in humor as he lifted the Oakleys out of the felted interior.

"And you are certain that this is all I will need?" the shades went over his eyes and I smiled a little.

_Yeah, he's sexy_, I thought with some pride.

"Should be," I nodded.

I finished my primping and headed towards the living room to find Shepard staring at a copy of Cosmopolitan. I didn't even want to know what had him so interested when I saw his wide-eyed stare locked on one particular page, but I had a pretty good idea when I noticed the cover's large white letters proclaiming it was the "HOT SEX issue". He quickly shut the magazine, somewhat loudly, and stood to his feet as I approached.

"Ms. Davis! I, uh, g-good morning," he smiled.

"Morning, Commander," I returned, noticing that he chose civvies over his armor.

Moments later Jason called to announce his nearing arrival, borrowing George's brand-spanking-new Range Rover. I always found it funny that George knew how to drive, but, just like everyone else I knew (aside from my promiscuous sister Penny) there's always something more than just the outward appearance. I handed Thane a thermos of his tea, a small kiss on my cheek as a "thank you", and led him and Shepard downstairs where Jason was waiting.

When, lo and behold, she appeared directly in my line of fire. I should've known Stephanie would be waiting to confront me that morning; I had been too lucky and "missed" her all week. However, after the sudden boost of confidence I had gained my dread went to seeing "Golden Opportunity" as my Prada heels clicked on the granite tiled floor of the lobby.

Stephanie's darkly kohled eyes went directly to Shepard and her puffy lips pursed into the all-too clichéd Duck Mouth. Whoever thought that the ridiculous pout looked sexy was out of their damned minds! Princess began her typical growling and yapping, perfectly groomed white fur standing up on her tiny haunches as I came closer.

I was somewhat satisfied to know that she wouldn't be making me feel lousy that day, but as her eyes went from Shepard to Thane, heavy lids widening and mouth dropping open in pure shock, I felt a rush of happiness warm my Renegade cockles. Princess began to whine.

"Stephanie! Why, good morning to you!" I greeted in an uncharacteristic happy tone. My nosy neighbor's eyes remained on the tall drell at my back and I wanted to squeal with delight.

"Y-yes, good morning, Sara," she breathed.

_What? No endless questions for me? No devious plans to continue to pry into my private life? _

"I didn't think I'd see you up this early, but, well it is a nice day, isn't it?" I continued to be evilly talkative.

"Yes," she managed to squeak. Oh, how I wanted to laugh in her face, but even as wicked as I felt, I wasn't that far gone into villainy.

"Where are my manners? Please, forgive me! I'd like you to meet my friends. This is John Shepard, a high-ranking Commander in the Marines."

Shepard nodded and smiled politely while Stephanie blinked slowly. I then turned to Thane, my hands placed on his exposed chest.

"And this is Thane Krios," my grin grew. "Thane, sugar, this is Stephanie. She's been very curious about you."

A faint smirk curled up his lips as he bowed to her. Jason honked the SUV's horn and I took Thane's hand as we passed the silenced woman.

"We should be going. Places to go, cosplayers to meet. Nice talking to you!" I waved as we exited the lobby. Outside I burst into laughter and did a silly, somewhat clumsy victory dance. I even continued to celebrate as we climbed into the vehicle; Shepard opted to take the front seat.

"Wow!" Jason snickered. "You're unusually happy for someone who could get the gold medal in the Brooding Olympics."

"I finally got the Gossip Queen speechless!" I grinned proudly. "I should mark it on the calendar as a personal holiday."

"She'll need years of therapy," my friend considered. I shrugged, still all too happy, as we drove towards Madison Square Garden. How the people in charge of the convention got the mega-huge location to house the event I'll never know. Maybe the owner of the Knicks was a closet nerd.

On the way Thane remained silent as he watched the city pass before his eyes. Sky high buildings rose like glass towers towards the sunlight. I smiled a little as his lips slacked open, hands pressed to the glass of the window. I probably had the same look the first time I saw the very intimidating scenery of New York.

"Mary did say that she was coming sometime today, right?" Jason drew my attention away.

"According to the email she sent me she was. I guess Tali's encoded message had a few positive responses, but she didn't say who they were from. "

"Here's hoping we find more of the squad."

We parked in the private lot reserved for vendors and media representatives and I got a glimpse of a few professional cosplayers (also called booth babes or boys) who were heading into the back entrance. Perfect representations of Lara Croft, Vampirella, and Captain America walked by in elaborately designed costumes. I looked over at Thane and took a deep breath. As long as he kept the glasses over his eyes and no one got too close to see that his features weren't special effects make-up we would be safe.

"Ready for this?" I smiled weakly. He nodded briefly and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. And on that note, Jason, Shepard disguised in an N7 shirt and jeans, Thane, and I walked towards the entrance to confront the craziest and most colorful event I would ever be privileged to be a part of.

With my right hand ready and a pack of fresh sharpies at our disposal for the stacks of the current issue of "Gamer's Haven" we waited for the arrival. At 10:00 am sharp the doors were opened and the somewhat quiet interior of the venue became a roar of loud voices and echoed music. Every character I could easily recognized, and quite a few that I didn't, were represented in pretty much every form from expertly detailed incarnations to half-assed cutouts pasted or stapled to street clothing. Some of the costumes I was shocked at how beautiful or, in some cases, gruesome they were. The one thing that I did learn was how proud everyone was to be a part of the "geek" community.

For close to a solid hour Jason and I met several fans, signed our "John Hancocks" on the magazine covers, and even posed for a few photos. Thane stayed close to our booth, not saying a word, and received nothing but praises from the fans. I heard it all from the typical "Oh, my God! Freaking awesome!" to "he looks real!" The fangirls did their squealing as he posed for pics, even showboating a little.

"I guess they weren't kidding," a scratchy, feminine voice caused me to look up from scrawling my illegible signature over Master Chief's helmet. My disinterest dropped as I looked upon the face I decided to be the prettiest woman I'd ever seen. She would've been beautiful if it weren't for the cold, petulant glare in her deep brown eyes. Dressed in dirty, worn brown overalls with the top tied low around her thin waist, and completely covered in tattoos was Jack.

"Either that's a real drell or it's the best fucking make-up trick I'd seen here so far."

I smiled at her and motioned Thane closer to the table.

"Jack, I presume."

"The one and only," her scarred eyebrow rose with arrogance. Her dark eyes went to Thane and she nodded quickly to him. The words she spoke to him were the flowing, elegant tongue I had heard him speak among the found squad. Thane bowed in greeting and responded.

"That's the real Jack and not a pretty girl with a shaved head, right?" Jason asked and I nodded.

"Yup."

"Hmm, I think she could kick my ass and not break a sweat."

"Yup."

After a brief discussion telling her we also had found Shepard, Tali, and Garrus, she allowed us to question her. Sort of.

"Where's your host?" Thane asked her. Jack frowned deeper (if it was possible) and began pacing behind our table while we continued to greet additional fans of the magazine.

"I left him back in that fucking shithole of an apartment. Back in Massachusetts. I found the message on some extranet forum he spanked to and decided to take matters into my own hands. Stole some credits from his wallet, grabbed a bus, and left him behind," she looked down at her boots and I could see the barest trace of sadness in her eyes. I suddenly felt terribly for her. I supposed not all of the squad's hosts would be as hospitable as Al, Mary and I have been.

"Been waiting to get in for about a week now," hands shoved deep into the baggy pockets.

"A week?" I blurted out. I was in shock. She shrugged carelessly and lifted her chin with pride.

"Yeah. I managed to live that long. Found lots of credits on the streets, enough to get myself some food and a pass for this weird-ass freak show. Now, that I'm here," she stopped and took a deep breath. She was obviously fighting some emotions but she shook her shaved head and sighed raggedly. "I'm here."

Shepard returned to the booth with a basket of fries and a Red Bull and nearly dropped them when he easily recognized the biotic rogue. Jack stopped pacing, eyes wide, and allowed her guard to drop.

"Shepard."

Shepard leapt across the table and met her with a tight hug. I smiled and realized Jack was just another example of "don't judge a book by its cover." I decided not to speak and interrupt the heart-felt reunion.

Our first break came and I wanted to take a walk around to see what other vendors were showcasing to the event. There were the usual, predictable groups of animation film-makers, comic book artists and writers independent and big name, network representatives, and game companies. Some of the people I recognized. I was actually starting to have a pretty good time until…

"Is that the beautiful and intelligent Sara Davis of Gamer's Haven?" a deep voice at my left asked and my skin began to crawl. I should've known he was there, and I began to hate myself for even daring to venture out into the cosplayer wilds.

"Joaquin," I said the name with a touch of sarcasm as I slowly turned to face him. There wasn't anything remarkable about Joaquin other than his name. He was a mediocre writer for a mediocre gamer blog. We had met years before at E3 and the only reason why I knew who he was, was the fact that he seemed to follow our magazine religiously, bordering on the edge of obsessing. Every month he would send us a letter, always thick with self-importance, about how someone's critique of a game was wrong and how he would fix it. Joaquin was desperate for a position as a reviewer, like a vulture waiting for a living animal to die. I tried to be nice to him but also distant.

He never got the distant bit.

"Hi, Sara," he grinned, teeth yellowed from constantly drinking coffee. "I saw on the vendor roster that you would be here. I was actually on my way over to say 'hello'."

I nodded slowly, biting on my lips to keep from saying sarcastic words.

"I'll bet you were."

I attempted to maneuver to a more crowded area with the intent to somehow lose him. It didn't work that time.

"I wanted to show you my first draft for my blog entry on the upcoming Dragon Age game. I'm sure you've seen in my last update how I'm not impressed with their promises on the dialogue enhancements, but I'm willing to give them a chance. You probably feel the same," he snorted a laugh.

I rolled my eyes, not bothering to hide my dislike for him. I never read his blog. He would email it to my office account and every time I saw it I placed it directly into my trash folder.

"Uh huh," I grumbled and changed direction for the food court.

"I was recently in a very interesting conversation with a few good folks on the BSN. There's a rumor going around that an encoded message has been floating around. No one seems to know what it means, but I do."

I stopped walking and turned around.

No, no! Not him! Please, tell me he doesn't have a squad mate!

"What does this have to do with me?" I decided to play dumb. I wasn't about to let the cat out of the bag to him if he was lying. Joaquin's yellow smile grew as he readjusted the Deadmau5 beanie on his head. Another reason I didn't favor his company; Joaquin wasn't what I considered a real nerd. He was one of those self-important, elitist who called themselves "hipsters". Real nerds and geeks didn't much like to be in their presence due to their "know it all" attitudes.

"Because I traced the message back to your account," he said smugly. "But I couldn't translate it myself. Jacob gave me a hand and we figured it out."

I felt my body grow cold.

"An encoded message?"

"'Squad mates; lost. Meeting place for those found reading this message at MSG, New York City.' Of course, it gave the dates for the convention, but I found it rather intriguing that it was signed Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Sounds like a prank, doesn't it?"

"Who's Jacob?" I managed to cough.

"Jacob Taylor. I've been his host for nearly two weeks. He went to get a drink and that's when I was about to head over to your booth, when I was lucky enough to see you in my sight. So, tell me the truth; who do you have?" He crossed his arms over his chest. I glanced back at the crowd around me and quickly pulled Joaquin aside by the collar of his new worn-in flannel shirt.

"Bring Taylor to the GH booth. There are three already waiting, two more on the way," I said quietly before I walked away.

"You got yourself a deal, Sara!" Joaquin's baritone voice rumbled over the noise, causing me to grimace.

"Figures," I muttered to myself.


	14. Chapter 14

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: iPhone, Doctor Who and any recognizable character, and Star Wars. Warning; the reader will encounter mass amounts of geekiness in the following chapter. The author is not responsible for accidents from fan "squeeing", emense bouts of laughter, or minds exploding from nerddom.

Chapter 14: Cosplayers' Convention, Day One Part Two

"He doesn't seem to be that bad of a guy," Jason shrugged as we sat down in the room reserved as a break area for the booth folks. I lazily pulled my french fry through the pile of ketchup and shoved it into my mouth. Talking to Joaquin had left me in a foul mood and I tried to not dwell on it. Jason wasn't talking about the tall, overly assured hipster, however. We met Joaquin's "guest" Jacob who turned out to be just like the character in the game; polite, slightly insecure, but also boring. At least, I always thought Jacob was boring.

Thane wasn't as happy to see Mr. Taylor as he seemed to be about meeting the other found squad mates. I immediately noticed the silent tension as Jacob shook my hand then shot his dark eyes up to Thane, not offering him the same courtesy in greeting. Before things got too uncomfortable, I decided to take Thane to get a bite to eat (and to let him ease some). Thane was still quiet and well-mannered enough to not complain about Jacob but I could tell he was irritated.

"So, you and Jacob aren't the best of friends I take it," I asked casually. He stabbed a fry with his fork and stared at the item for a moment with some contemplation.

"Mr. Taylor has held a grudge towards me from the moment I stepped onto the Normandy's deck. I try not to view him with as much vehemence as he does me, but it can be difficult at times. He fears me and thus distrusts me. I suppose I can't blame him," he sighed and shoved the fry into his mouth.

"He hasn't tried to speak to you, to get to know you?"

"There are few in the squad who has attempted to become personable with me, even less who have gained my friendship. Shepard, obviously, has become a friend; Samara, Garrus, Tali are the others I have allowed to be considered close acquaintances. But Jacob and I, well, let's just say that while I respect him for the fine soldier he truly is he has denied me the same courtesy."

I frowned darkly at his report, feeling the sudden need to approach Jacob and give him a piece of my mind.

"The ignorance of some!" I growled. After hearing about Jacob being a douchebag to Thane and Joaquin invading my universe I was ready to start barking. And then quickly apologize for my outbursts. I felt Thane's hand cover my balled fist and I immediately calmed under his gentle touch.

"It is alright, Siha. It does not affect me as you would think. I've come to accept people distrusting of me."

I smiled weakly and curled my fingers around his, a silent reminder that I did trust him. We finished our lunch and returned back to the convention, back into the happy madness of what I come to describe as jumping into a bag of skittles while hopped up on Monster energy drinks and Red Vines. Thane was very patient with his fans, even a little overwhelmed by their apparent love for him as they gushed praise for the impactful character.

When the convention finally closed down for the day after seven I found him staring at an image of himself one very talented artist quickly drew of him before she left our table. I offered her a blank sheet of paper and a sharpie and within a matter of moments she produced a lovely profile in a sharp comic-book style. When he asked her if he could keep it she nearly broke down into tears as she slowly handed it over.

"Really? It's not that good," she began to protest. Thane smiled as he bowed to her, carefully folding the picture and tucking it into a hidden pocket in his jacket.

"I am flattered. Thank you, miss." The girl's chin quivered as her eyes dropped to the floor and she sniffled back her tears.

"Y'know, I know you're just some guy with make-up and an awesome costume to boot, but you act so much like him that I'd swear you're really Thane. I've never felt such emotion towards a video game character, but, if you ever see the guy at BioWare who wrote for Thane, tell him I said 'thanks' inventing him," she wiped a tear away. In a purely chivalrous motion, Thane lifted her hand to his lips, and gave it a sweet kiss. It made me smile.

When she left, he pulled the drawing back out and stared at it for several long seconds. I slowly approached and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's humbling and a bit daunting to see the truth at times," he whispered. "In my world I am feared, mistrusted. But here, in this realm, they see me as some sort of hero. I am not worthy of such affections."

"But you are," I said softly. "These people who have devoted so much time into getting to know you in their private worlds really do care for you."

Thane leaned down and kissed my cheek as he whispered his thanks to me.

"I just got a message from Mary," Jason spoke up. "She's bringing Tali and Garrus to the apartment so they can meet up with Jack and Jacob." I nodded, brought back to reality.

_Shit,_ I mentally cursed. _Joaquin's still here. And there's still the issue with Jack not having a place to stay._

"Why didn't she bring them here?" I asked as I began to clean up the mess around our booth. Trace bits of paper garbage along with fallen costume pieces and, surprisingly, a lot of glitter, littered the floor.

"She said if she brought them here there would be some people starting to ask questions. Especially with Thane here. I can't really disagree. It would look a little suspicious." I nodded in agreement but also too tired to continue to ask more questions. I looked across the way to see Shepard standing next to Jack with Jacob standing a respectful distance from her. There was still no love lost or gained for the Cerberus operative in her eyes. In that second I had my mind made up. I would allow her to stay in my home. It would be a little cramped for us but I couldn't let her continue to sleep on the streets.

"Here, you two," Jason grabbed my hand and led me towards Thane. I watched as he pulled his iPhone from his pocket and went to stand before us, prompting a photograph of us. I put on a thin grin as I heard the click from the phone's camera.

"Aw, come on, Davis. At least try to look happy. Get closer. And take off the glasses, Thane."

I looked up at Thane and sighed in defeat. He wrapped his arms around me and, for the first time since that morning, I was able to look into his eyes. A genuine smile pulled on my lips and for a second I forgot that there were still a few people in the arena. I would've kissed him if I wasn't brought back to reality by Jason's voice.

"That's actually a really good pic," he walked over to me to show me the image. I had to agree, it was a great shot. I looked really happy and so did Thane and I felt a lump in my throat which I tried to ignore.

"Make me a copy, okay?" I blinked rapidly.

"You know I will, Chicky."

O . . . O . . . O

Joaquin followed us to my apartment and I wondered just how big of a mistake this was about to be by allowing him into my home. Jack shuffled her way up the stairs, almost sulking, but I was pretty sure she was trying to hide her exhaustion. Mary was already waiting in the alcove on my floor with Garrus and Tali. Tali met Shepard with her signature tight hug and also gave one to Jacob. I ushered the group into my home, taking a moment to give a short tour to Jack. The tattooed woman shot me a weak frown as I dropped a short stack of clean clothes into her arms. She was about the same size as me; maybe a size smaller, but at that point fit didn't much matter. She needed a shower and some rest.

"I don't like charity," she grumbled, her eyes down on the floor.

"I'm not forcing you to stay. There's the door, go have fun fighting off the bums, vagrants, and rapists who prowl the streets at night," I pointed to the exit. Jack didn't move to leave, but instead sat down on the futon I kept in my barely used spare room which housed a broken computer, old gaming consoles and tubs full of games for said consoles.

"Guess I can stay here for the night," she replied, which was code for "thank you." I nodded and pointed towards the guest bathroom, explaining where the clean towels and other toiletries were located.

"The drell sleeps with you, doesn't he?" she unfolded a faded KISS tee-shirt and took a sniff at the collar.

"He has been," I admitted quietly. She nodded, scarred eyebrow shifting slightly.

"Kinda figured that. The way he looks at you, like he's a starving man and you're his glass of water."

I was surprised by how poetic she came across but decided not to comment. I didn't need a new hole in my wall, especially one that would cause my super to bring up unanswerable questions.

"Well, just, uh, make yourself at home," I offered before I walked away. I heard her shove her boots off her feet and kick them to the floor.

"Sure."

Out in the living room and kitchen I came across the strangest sight yet that day. Even more bizarre than the massive groups of cosplayers crowding MSG was seeing a turian in a grey hoodie, a quarian in a dark brown cable knit sweater, and a handsome blue-eyed man sitting on my sofa staring at my television and laughing hysterically. When I faced the screen to see what was so funny I nearly burst out laughing.

They had found "A New Hope" on one of the cable networks and Han Solo had just shot Greedo. I was speechless. It had to be the geekiest moment in all of human history and I waited for a time rift to break apart reality. But the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse didn't break down my door and there was no sign of a blue police box materializing in the room so I relaxed.

I traipsed into the kitchen, barely listening to Jason, Joaquin, Mary and Jacob talk as I grabbed a bottle of water from my refrigerator. I was exhausted. Content, but I was ready to drop onto my bed and let sleep take over me. Two warm hands massaged my shoulders and I turned to face Thane who was out of his armor and back into more comfortable lounge pants and a tee-shirt. Despite how irresistible he may have been in all that leather I preferred him in softer, more casual clothes.

"Jack is settling in?" he asked as he planted little kisses on my cheeks. I nodded, stifling a yawn, as I dropped my head on his chest.

"Seems to be. You okay?"

"Yes. I am starting to feel some hope. It is good to see everyone together."

"Yeah," I agreed, but I also had more questions rising in my mind. The first day produced only two more squad members and I wondered if we would indeed find everyone. I looked up at him, desperate to tell him how I felt, and I almost did. But I grit my teeth behind my lips and smiled up at him, letting him kiss me.

"Hey Thane!" Garrus called from the livingroom. "You gotta come see this flick!"

"Do you mind?" he asked and I gave him a playful smack to his shoulder.

"Go on. I need to go talk to the others anyway."

I watched as he walked into the living room and perched onto the armchair to watch Star Wars. He looked happy, relaxed, and I laughed to myself.

Any moment, I reasoned, I'm gonna hear that TARDIS woosh.

O . . . O . . . O

Jack was asleep. I could hear her snoring through the door and I breathed in relief. This was probably the first night she was able to get any rest since her arrival to this plane of existence and I felt utter pity for her. I made a mental note that if I ever met her loser host I would kick him in the balls. Shepard was starting to settle down after the rest of the squad left and he offered to help clean up any messes left behind. I looked around and noticed that everything remained spotless, but I did thank him.

Luckily, Joaquin wasn't quite the douchebag he acted earlier and proved to be a good host for Jacob. They left shortly after Mary did which allowed me to finally decompress my body and my mental state. One more long day of the convention to go. The first day felt like an entire week. I shuffled towards my room after reminding Shepard that my home was his and dropped face first onto my bed.

"Generosity is taking a toll on me," I sighed and Thane chuckled quietly as he pulled me to his lap. I absently began to trace the long black stripes up his arms as we just lay prone. A soft purr echoed in his throat when I reached the ribbed skin in his elbow.

"Any normal person probably would have vented their frustrations long ago," his fingers ran through my hair and I closed my eyes to enjoy the touch.

"No one has ever accused me of being normal, that's for sure. I hope the fans didn't freak you out any."

"Not at all. I am humbled by their kindness. I've never met such caring and warm people. I have very much enjoyed the event so far."

"Good," I yawned, nearly asleep. "Let's hope tomorrow is a good day, too."

"I am wishing the same, Siha," he kissed the top of my head and began to quietly hum me to sleep. I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt myself succumb to rest. The last thought in my head before I started to dream was my need to tell him the truth. I had to tell him I loved him before he left me. I had to tell him how I really felt before he faded from my sight.


	15. Chapter 15

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Daft Punk and all their awesomeness, Tron, Optimus Prime, Batman, Hatsune Miku, and Consumer Reports magazine. The author does not intend to insult any of the cosplayer community with the following chapter. In fact, she would indeed like to be a part of said community just because it looks so damn fun.

Chapter 15: The Cosplayers' Convention, Day Two Part One

I saw some pretty funny things over the two days I spent at the convention, some mildly amusing and some so damn hilarious that it took all I had to keep from falling to the floor and rolling around like a dog with a bad itch. But the best thing I ever seen came courtesy of my beloved drell on Saturday morning maybe an hour after the doors to MSG opened. I was just about to hand him a bottle of water when the following scenario began to unfold. This is what I saw.

The cosplayer was maybe 5'7" on a good day and close to 130lbs soaking wet, but he had chose to costume himself as the tall, muscular assassin. He wore a poorly rendered latex mask, crooked as hell and painted fluorescent green and pink (probably with spray paint by the look of it) with mirrored aviator lenses as the "eyes". He took oversized black sweatpants and a hoodie and painted crooked lines along the arms and legs in bright white, and rectangles of cardboard were fastened to the upper arms with duct tape. He brandished a grey-painted nerf gun to everyone who passed him and began to laugh in a horrible, raspy voice.

"Fear me, all Sihas! For I am Thane Krios, master assassin! Ha, ha, ha!"

I watched as the real Thane Krios stepped up behind him, politely tapped his thin shoulder, and waited for him to turn around. The cosplayer stopped his cackling and spun to his right, quickly dropping his act upon seeing the towering drell before him.

"Duuuuuuuude!" his voice cracked. "Frikken sweet cosplay, bro! Is that real leather?" he pointed to the thick jacket. Behind his shades Thane's right brow lifted. Undaunted, he continued to gush praise but also began critiquing the leather armor.

"The plates along your chest and legs are supposed to be red and the collar should come up to your neck. You're wearing the 'loyal' outfit with the DLC glasses," he snorted through his cock-eyed mask.

"Oh, boy," I whispered to myself as I watched Thane fold his arms behind his back. The poor kid didn't stand a chance.

"Now, I know it doesn't look like it, but my cosplay is actually game accurate. See, the pattern here?" he pointed to his wrinkled arms. "I even made sure the lines match the necklace he has. Yours is nice, but it looks like its aluminum or something and I'm SURE that it's platinum or something expensive. I actually carved mine from Styrofoam and painted it with a high flake metallic. See?"

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This kid was actually going to take it upon himself to criticize the real thing and didn't have a clue to save his skin.

"Do you work for BioWare? 'Cause I have a great idea for a DLC! I have this fanfic out on a few sites and it involves my OC, a human named Nate, 'cause that's my name, and he and Thane, they travel the galaxy and meet hot girls, go assassinate a bunch of baddies, and, uuuuuhhh," Nate's voice fell as Thane slowly removed his glasses and shot him a silencing glare. His mouth dropped open then quickly snapped shut when he looked back down at his costume.

"Yeah, um, maybe next year I'll go as Batman or something. Sorry if I, uh, offended you," he dropped his aviator-lens gaze down to the floor. But his head snapped back up as he smiled brightly.

"Hey! You wanna read my fanfic? It's frikkin awesome!"

Thane shook his head and pulled his lips into a tight, thin line, still frowning darkly at his doppelganger.

"Disappointment," his face read. Nate dropped his head again and began to walk away, perhaps a little insulted but also a little wiser. Thane placed the shades back over his eyes and smiled lightly as he walked towards me. I was shocked at how amused he seemed.

"Wow!" I snickered as I handed him the bottle of water. "I think you just shattered his dreams."

Thane shook his head as he touched the torc at his neck.

"Aluminum!" he snorted. "Its palladium!" I actually laughed at his feigned irritation.

Jason was dancing his "white boy two step" when we returned to the booth and I wondered why he seemed so excited.

"You having another seizure?" I asked dully as I cut the ties off the new stack of magazines. Jason laughed and wrapped his arms around me as he shoved a bright yellow flier in my face. I rolled my eyes as I read the passage.

"No, Jay," I answered quickly.

"You did read it, right? The whole thing?" he flung the paper back over to me which I ignored.

"All I had to see was the word 'dance' to make my decision."

"Now, read it again. The musical guest is Daft Punk. Sara! Freaking Daft Punk, okay? 'Technologic', 'One More Time', 'Around the World'! They did the score for the Tron movie last year!"

"I know who Daft Punk is. I'm not going to a dance. I don't need to see fanboys dressed as Optimus Prime trying to poplock to 'Digital Love'," I smiled at the guy before me as he flipped down an older copy of the magazine for me to sign.

"Mary's bringing her duo," Jason reported.

"Good for Mary."

"Open bar for the legal crowd."

"I have a bottle of fine XO cognac I can imbibe in should I choose to get drunk."

"It'll be a lot of fun," he was really trying.

"I'm allergic to fun."

"He wants to go," Jason pointed back to Thane. I turned in my chair to look back at him in question. Thane simply smiled crookedly and shrugged in innocence.

"You want to see a bunch of uncoordinated people attempt to coordinate rhythm via sporadic movements?" I asked him. He coughed to cover a laugh.

"Who doesn't?" Jason chuckled at my sad joke.

"Jason!" I shot him a cold glare. "I don't dance."

"Aww, sure you do! You just do it when no one's looking. Right, Miss 'Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture'?"

I shook my head and sighed wearily. I had no choice but to submit to the demands of my best friend and my lover who decided to give me a squeeze on my shoulder in thanks.

"That's it. When this is all over I am demanding Al give me an all-expenses paid vacation to some tropical paradise of my choosing. Maybe Bali, or Hawaii, somewhere really pricey just to prove a point," I grumbled while Jason sang in off-key the lyrics to 'One More Time'.

I wasn't paying attention as I continued to sign the magazines, trying to dwell on my dislike for the big "D" word that was looming in my near future, when a copy of Consumer Reports with my column on big name RPG's was placed before me. I paused for a second, surprised by the silent request.

"That's a first!" I snorted with some sarcasm. "You sure you want me to sign this?" I looked up and nearly swallowed my tongue.

My fucking ex-boyfriend Zach!

He smiled his shy, boy-next-door grin which I remembered being utterly irresistible, and ran a hand through his auburn hair which he let grow to his chin. Despite his lack of fashion sense and lack of giving me a chance to orgasm during sex, he was pretty damn cute! For a human male.

"I couldn't take my eyes off of it," he blushed (yeah, I always thought that was cute, too). "Hey, Sara."

My gut sank with a sick thud and I felt the saliva immediately dry in my mouth leaving my throat parched. Really? This damned fool was attempting to hook up in a very public event with my militantly-protective best friend at my right and the incredibly hot drell I just happen to be sleeping with at my back. My metaphorical feathers ruffled and I felt my lips purse with anger.

"What are you doing here? If I am remembering correctly you thought cosplayers were stupid," I said loud enough for the girl dressed as Hatsune Miku next to him to hear. She shot him a dirty glare and snorted in disgust.

"I saw in my email that you and HIM were here to promote the magazine," he pointed to Jason with some derision. Jason shook his head and mumbled something about a "ginger backstabbing motherfucker" under his breath.

"I was also at SDCC last year, and E3 the year before that," I crossed my arms over my chest. Behind me I could hear a low, rumbling growl and I knew that Thane wasn't pleased. I fought to not smile.

"I just wanted to come by and say 'congrats' to you. You're really making a name for yourself beyond Haven. This just proved it," Zach pointed to the Consumer Reports still in front of me. "I always thought you were a good writer, Doll. I also wanted to see you again."

"Doll!" Jason coughed. "Asshole!"

"Yeah, I missed you too, Altman," Zach replied darkly. "Listen, Sara, I wanted to know if we could go out sometime. Y'know, maybe catch a movie, talk over coffee-"

"I'm seeing someone," I interrupted his poor approach. Zach blinked his deep chocolate eyes in shock and took a step back. I stole a quick glance to see that he traded his Nike sweatpants for some nicer clothes. He also lost a few pounds by the look of it. If I hadn't known better, I would've said he was striking. Again, for a human male.

"Really?" he didn't seem to believe me and it sort of hurt.

"Yeah, really. That so hard to believe?"

"Anyone I know?" he frowned. Again, I heard the dull, deep growl rumbling from Thane who had taken a step closer to me.

"No. You don't know him. Who do I make this out to?" I held up the magazine. Zach took it away and sighed lingeringly.

"I'll be in New York for a few more days, staying at the Hilton. Call me, okay?" he walked away and disappeared into the colorful crowd. Frustrated and exhausted from holding back my anger and hurt for the way he left me so suddenly five years ago I rose from my chair and began to walk towards the designated break areas for the convention. I found a dark corner and sank down the wall to sit on the cold floor and try to recompose myself.

Yeah, it had been a long time since we broke it off and it should've been in the back of my mind. But it still hurt. Once upon a time I really liked Zach, close to loving him, but he didn't want to commit to anything (despite the fact he nearly moved in with me) and it broke my heart when he admitted it to me.

"Siha," the soft, black velvet voice echoed off the concrete walls. I raised my head from my arms and watched the tall shadow materialize into Thane as he sauntered towards me. I didn't even hear his footsteps approach.

"Sorry, babe. Just needed a minute to be mad," I admitted. "Did Jason send you after me?"

He sat down next to me and took my hands, kissing the tops softly.

"No, he didn't. Should I leave you?"

I smiled weakly and snuggled against his armor-clad shoulder. There was no one I wanted to be near me in that moment more than him.

"Don't go. I'm glad you're here."

We were silent for a few moments, allowing me to calm into tranquility next to him, when he spoke again.

"If you aren't comfortable about the upcoming dance event this evening, I won't pressure you into going," he offered. I smiled and shook my head. There was no way this kind, gentle, considerate creature next to me was responsible for being a cold, unfeeling killer.

"We'll go, Thane. You deserve a chance to see everyone this evening," I leaned up to kiss his cheek. He quickly turned his head and caught my lips against his, giving me a deep embrace.

"We should go back before Jason sends an army out looking for us," I teased with a weak smile. He gave me one last, smaller peck before rising to his feet and offering to help me off the floor. We were about to walk towards the exit when he stopped me gently and I noticed a hesitant look on his face.

"You okay?" I asked with open concern. Thane removed the glasses and blinked his eyes to adjust to the rush of dim light.

"There is something that I must tell you, Sara. Something I've wanted to say for a few days now," his voice barely registered above a whisper. I stepped closer and gripped tighter to his hands, my heart pounding madly in my chest. I feared the worst. I swallowed the tightness in my throat and waited for what seemed like forever.

"Okay," I croaked. His fingertips brushed over my cheek, flowing down to my chin, and he gently lifted it to a soft angle as he normally did before he kissed me.

"Siha, I lo-"

The doors to the hallway cracked open loudly, bringing our moment to a screeching halt. I was beginning to wonder if my life revolved around inopportune moments of interruption. I roved my narrowed eyes towards the invader of my private moment and knew that somewhere in some unseen realm where the immortals reigned supreme I was their least favorite human alive.

"Thane!" the soft-timbre voice exclaimed. I also began to wonder what kind of horrible person I was in a former life to have to face HER.

She was the vision of female perfection; tall, statuesque, and so beautiful it was beyond annoying. She stood in the light of the doorway with her hands on her curving hips, posing like a Hollywood starlet on the red carpet. The only thought that crossed my mind was wordless envy and disgust for the woman standing ten feet away. She was dressed in simple jeans and a pale cream sweater but she might as well have been wearing Armani Atelier.

Miranda.

_ This day just keeps getting better and better!_ I wanted to facepalm myself. The only redeeming factor in those long, exhausting, gods-cursing seconds was when I realized Thane hadn't let go of me. In fact, any maybe it was my imagination, he seemed to hold me tighter.

"Ms. Lawson," Thane returned coolly, his fingers laced between mine.

"I was told you were back here. I guess I should've waited, but I wanted to see for myself that you were okay," she smiled (_suggestively? She's a dead woman!_).

Still standing tightly to my side, Thane bowed in greeting to her.

"I am well, thank you."

A crooked smirk appeared on her face as her steel blue eyes locked onto mine and her left hip stuck out farther. I began to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.

"Looks that way," her voice sent chills up my spine.

_Really, bitch?!_ I wanted to retort but I bit hard on the tip of my tongue, hoping the pain would divert my anger.

"May I introduce my host," his hand swept across the small of my back. "Sara Davis. She has been- more than kind to me." A warm flush filled my cheeks and my insecurities melted away. For a second, at least. Miranda shook my reluctant hand, her grip a little too tight I noticed.

_What the hell? I've known this chick for maybe 60 seconds and she's shooting daggers at me!_

Then again, I probably didn't look too pleased to see her in my line of sight, and I tried to soften my glare.

"We should find somewhere to talk," Miranda let go of my hand and ran her long fingers through her dark brown waves, eliciting a roll of my eyes.

"There is a break room just down this hall. We can talk there," Thane explained as he pulled me along as we walked towards the aforementioned room.

When we were inside, and thankfully no one else in sight, Thane sat at a table and invited Miranda to sit across from him. Even her posture was perfect! It made me sick.

"You found out how to find us on the extranet link?" he asked her.

"Not at first. I went searching for any reports or links to any of the squad showing up. For a while there wasn't anything, which isn't surprising. Then I found a link to a message on this one site. I was skeptical at first, but when I recognized the quarian's encoded signature I was sure that what I had found was legitimate."

"Her name is Tali!" I grumbled defensively. Miranda blinked in surprise and I immediately shut my mouth, already regretting my outburst.

"Yes, well, I took a jet into this city last night and easily found the convention," she continued, somewhat ignoring me. The second day was turning out to be an annoying stretch of hours from the stupid dance I was being forced to, to Zach's appearance, to Miranda's poncy attitude. I was tempted to just get up and leave the arena altogether. But Thane stayed me by wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Where are you staying?" he asked.

"London, England," she flipped a lock of hair off her shoulder. It hurt not to roll my eyes at her. A brief mental image crossed my mind as I envisioned myself reaching across the table and ripping that dark mop of perfectly coiffed hair from her stupid head. "My 'host', I guess that is the word being used among the found squad, is a surgeon. She gave me the money to take the flight in order to find someone with some answers. When I got here I heard some talk about a man dressed up as you. I went looking, was pointed towards a magazine booth. When I asked the man who was signing printed issues if you were still here he told me you were on break and he showed me where to go."

_I'm gonna kill Jason,_ I thought with venom.

"How long are you able to stay?" Thane continued the questioning.

"For as long as I need to. My host said that if I did find anything to let her know and she would try to fly out here."

The conversation continued until I decided that I needed to get back to work before either Jason came looking for me or I clawed out Miranda's eyes in a fit of rage. Thane offered to come back out with me but I told him I was fine with him continuing his conversation. He gave me one last little kiss on the lips, close-mouthed of course, but it made me feel better and let me know where I stood with him. Miranda may have been the ultimate human female but she didn't have Thane's heart and that gave me the upper hand.

"I was wondering if you'd come back covered in blood after I sent Miranda back to the break area," Jason joked as I returned to the booth. I grumbled unintelligible mutterings under my breath as began to sign another magazine cover.

"Just for that, you owe me your firstborn daughter, dude."

Jason chuckled and thanked his last fan.

"Would you still take her if I named her Miranda?"

"I hate you," I shot him a scathing glare which only made him laugh harder.

"Yeah, but I still love you, Sara."


	16. Chapter 16

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Reese's Pieces candies. The author would like to comment on the deliciousness of the aforementioned confection. It reminds her of watching ET (also not property of the author but a great cinematic event directed by Steven Spielberg).

Chapter 16: The Cosplayers' Convention, Day Two Part Two (or "Meet Kasumi")

"Interesting," a soft feminine voice chuckled at my back and the mood I was in I was ready to bite. I turned quickly on my heels, eyes narrowed, as I focused on the speaker. There was nothing all that remarkable about her, except she was unbelievably lovely with sharp Asian features and a lithe, athletic figure. She was wearing a tight, black catsuit with dark goggles around her neck and super high spike-heeled boots. She looked like a modern day superheroine. Or a very sexy international spy. Either way I felt my low self-esteem kick in, again, and I wanted to run and hide.

"Excuse me?" I mumbled, when I realized she was indeed staring at me and not at the tall purple Wookie at my left.

"I don't believe I've ever seen her jealous," the sultry woman spoke again, her dark almond-shaped eyes glittering wildly. "It's rather satisfying, actually."

"Have we met?" I asked, confused and also frustrated. Who the hell was this woman?

"No, not formally, but you're fun to watch," she leaned in closer and placed her hand on my shoulder. I began to wonder if she was crazy. "You get really pretty when you're mad. Right there, that little pout? Sexy! No wonder Thane's got it bad for you."

My stomach dropped at the sound of Thane's name. I shook my head, trying to decipher everything that had been said in the short span of time.

"Wh-what?"

"It's obvious, the way you two look at each other. You blush, he bats those dark eyes. It almost envious, the way he kisses you," she huffed onto her nails then began to polish them on her thigh. "You must be high all the time!" a somewhat clumsy snort came from her nose. I wasn't sure whether to be furious or just bewildered.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded when I finally found my voice.

"Oh! Sorry," she stuck out her hand in a friendly manor. "Kasumi Goto."

I studied her for a moment to make sure she was telling the truth. She shrugged and shoved her hand behind her back when I didn't take it.

"I get it. Some weird woman approaches you and tells you she's been watching you and the assassin make out in private, I'd be suspicious, too."

"Your outfit, the cowl," I pointed randomly to her head, too shocked to say much more.

"My host thought it would be funny if I, what's the word, cosplayed as someone 'not' me. I think it's a good disguise, don't you?" she held out her arms and twirled.

"Uhhh,"

"You need convincing. The woman in the off-white sweater is Miranda Lawson. The tall, cute guy in the sports jersey yesterday was Jacob Taylor. And the pretty green drell dressed in black leather is Thane Krios. You are Sara Davis and you are his host. And his lover, apparently."

I stared at the woman for a second, still not sure if I should be angry or worried enough to call a psychiatric hospital.

"You were here yesterday?" I managed to say.

"Yes. I was studying the group to make sure what I was seeing was real. I wasn't about to blow my cover in a strange place and have the locals accuse me of being a crazy person. But, after watching Miranda interrupt your rather romantic moment I felt, well, prompted to acknowledge my presence. And she should've known better," a slick grin curled up her lips. I decided in that very second, not knowing anymore about her than the five minutes worth of conversation, that I liked Kasumi.

"Okay, then," I nodded and showed her towards the magazine's booth. "Then, I take it you've been listening in on some conversations as well."

"A few. What I could within hearing range over the auditory pollution in here. I'm also quite good at reading lips. And body language. Which is why I was able to decipher the attraction between you and Thane. You're very poor at hiding emotion, by the way," she laughed. A warm blush rose in my cheeks and I felt slightly exposed.

"That obvious, huh?" I grumbled.

"To me, it is," she grinned wider. We rounded the corner and Shepard, who had just arrived with Jack (her head concealed under a floppy fedora and her tattoos hidden beneath one of my coats) turned just in time to see Kasumi switch her walk to a sort of strut. A flirty smile smirked up his lips as he greeted her warmly.

"Ms. Goto!"

"Hello, John," she winked. "Jack, nice hat!"

Jack rolled her eyes and spat curses under her breath as she skulked away into the crowd. I went to inform Jason of who I found (or who found me, rather) when I realized Thane wasn't back.

"I haven't seen him since he went looking for you earlier. You think he's okay?"

I shook my head and slumped back into my seat, worried and confused and already worn out for the day. And I still had a stupid dance to stomach through later! I wasn't about to start playing the crazy jealous bitch card since I really had no right. But what if Thane had some kind of relationship going with Miranda back on the Normandy? Why wouldn't he have mentioned it to me? Was I just some sort of convenient warm body to him? And why the hell was I acting so fucking paranoid all of a sudden?

"Ah hah! There he is!" Jason drew my attention away from my crazy thoughts and I lifted my eyes to watch the drell walking towards us, Miranda following a few feet away with what I interpreted as frustration. Then again, I could've been imagining things.

Thane placed a gentle hand on my shoulder as he reentered the booth and I looked up just in time to see a faint smile tugging on his lips.

_ What the hell happened?_

Kasumi caught my attention and gave me another wink and a nod before she returned to whatever talk she was having with Shepard. We continued to work for the rest of the convention with me being quieter than normal. The rest of the squad, except for Thane who I guess felt he had a job to do representing himself, had walked away and I didn't see them until the end of the day at six.

I was cleaning up our area, my mind dwelling on everything that it shouldn't have when a small tap came on my shoulder. I gasped in shock, my heart racing wildly, and I turned on my heels to give the pretty Asian woman a dark glare. Which caused her to laugh.

"You have nothing to worry about," she informed as though she dropped right into the middle of a conversation.

"Huh?" I blinked and wondered where this was going to go.

"Do you like gossip? I do! It keeps me busy! Not that I start any rumor mills, but I do like a good story," she shoved a bag of half-eaten Reese's Pieces under my nose.

"I, uh, I don't understand-"

"Okay," she hopped up onto the empty table and shoved a handful of the peanut butter candies into her mouth. "Miranda. You think you don't have a chance against Miranda and you're worried that she and Thane are lovers."

"You're able to get all of that?" I asked in disbelief as I packed up the rest of the unused magazines.

"Sure. Like I said before; I'm very good at reading body language and I also like a good story. You make for a great tragic heroine, a Shakespearian Ophelia-type. A lonely woman, in love with an ill-fated man. If it were a book I'd read it. Just don't go insane and kill yourself."

I was speechless. I snorted and continued to clean up.

"Miranda does like Thane," she continued, crunching through her snack. "A lot of the people on the Normandy did but many were too afraid to say anything to him. I mean, would you want to tell an assassin you've got the hots for him? I take that back; you did!

"Miranda was the one who did approach him, aside from Kelly Chambers, but Kelly was ready to hump anything that would take her. Thane was flattered but also skeptical. He didn't like the fact that she was a head operative for a humans-first terrorist group and couldn't see himself being with someone who possibly had such prejudices. Miranda wouldn't stop, however. She told him that she wished he would give her a chance. Thane continued to rebuke her. He thought she was too arrogant, too cold, which I found rather funny because everyone had been saying the same thing about him.

"And, then, the crew was taken by the Collectors. Chaos ensued among the squad. Shepard ordered Joker to head to the Omega 4 Relay. We hit the Mass Effect field and bam! I found myself standing in the dorm room of a sweet but scared young man who offered to help me find my friends."

I stared at Kasumi for a moment, taking in everything she just said. It almost hurt to think.

"But, as I said, you have nothing to worry about. Thane has no love for Miranda. You, on the other hand, I'll bet a hefty load of credits on the fact that he adores every inch of you. And you feel the same."

O . . . O . . . O

"Why can't I just wear a tee-shirt and a pair of sneakers and call it a night?" I protested George, Kasumi and Tali as they raided my closet. The dance was scheduled to start at nine with Daft Punk taking over the deejay booth around 11:00. George, in his best club gear, gasped in shock and threw a sparkly pink scarf at me.

"Absolutely not, Sara! You need to look amazing! You need to look like a goddess!"

"I need to look like I don't want to be there," I grumbled as I fell into my pillows. "Because I don't." I heard Tali and Kasumi giggle at my protest.

"Do you actually wear all of these shoes?" I heard Kasumi's muffled voice coming from my closet.

"If I'm missing a pair I'll know who took them," I threatened. I still felt a little cranky and depressed from the tension of the day earlier. Despite all Kasumi had tried to tell me, to assure me that Thane had "no eyes" for Miranda, I still wondered what they had talked about after I left. I decided it best to leave the subject untouched as I was drug from my PS3 into my bedroom by the three conspiring make-over thugs who were giggling over my shoe collection.

Kasumi flung herself onto my bed, a dark blue sequined tank top in her grasp, and smiled with some contentment.

"You have a good mattress. It also smells like Thane in here," she observed. I looked over at her in worry, wondering if the "spice" would have the same effect on her as it did me and Mary.

"Drell smell nice," she shrugged. "Not my brand of perfume, but it's pleasant. Here. You will wear this," she tossed me the glittery top and I recoiled from it. I had never worn it before and I forgot that George had bought it for me.

"Do I look like I have the body to wear that?" I sneered at the garment.

"Yes," George piped up and threw out a pair of tight black "leatherized" jeans for Tali to catch. Tali had taken the pink scarf and tied it around her waist. It was actually sort of cute on her.

"You're not my friend right now, G," I sighed.

"Maybe not right now. But after this night is over, and you and your sweetie sneak off to fool around in some dark corner at the arena like a couple of teenagers, you will be sending roses and candygrams and singing strippers to my office," he placed a pair of gunmetal grey spike booties in my lap.

"Right. We'll see."

Unable to flee I was subjected to pokes and prods and tight clothes forced over my petite yet curvy figure. George and Kasumi took it upon themselves to perform valiant acts of courage under fire and fixed my hair and make-up. As a reward for herself, Kasumi "borrowed" a pair of bright red heels that just happen to be a half size too big for me but just perfect for her. I didn't mind. In the few hours I had got to know her I began to like her. A lot! She was sweet, a little blunt, ridiculously charming, but really funny.

When they finished I stood before the mirror and found myself pleasantly surprised. My make-up was dark, smoky, and even a bit editorial (thanks to George). The clothes suggested my feminine shape without being too revealing. The only thing I wasn't crazy about was the thin lace thong George insisted I wear in order to keep from showing any kind of panty line and the new contacts I had been hesitating to put in. But, for a brief moment of clarity (or insanity) I actually felt like Miranda had something to fear from me.

"Sometimes I surprise myself," George grinned proudly. "You are going to break some necks tonight."

"Maybe my own," I looked down at the tall heels and thought about trying to maneuver through the dancing crowds. I was pushed down the hall to face my "date" who was still in the leather armor. Shepard, Garrus, and Jacob were also in the living room but I didn't even notice them. I blushed and smiled shyly as he approached me, taking my hands into his.

"Siha! You look-"

"Amazing!" Shepard interrupted. The glare that Thane shot to him made Shepard take a step back and hang his head in shame.

"I should go."

I couldn't help it, after hearing the characteristic tagline, and I fell against Thane laughing until my side hurt.


	17. Chapter 17

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Fatboy Slim, Catwoman, and Sailor Moon. Sexy Thane is sexy.

Chapter 17: The Cosplayers' Convention Dance

"Ah'm not dancin'!" I growled, trying to hide the fact that I was a nervous wreck. My accent's arrival belied that and I swallowed the lump in my throat as we entered the arena which had been transformed from colorful convention to the hottest club in the city. Laser lights danced along the rafters to the pulsing rhythms of techno music mixed by the deejay who was housed on a tall, elaborate dais in the middle of the floor. A lot of cosplayers decided to remain in character to dance the night away.

I pulled at the hem of my coat, ready to run from the bawdy scene but I had given my word. I would stay for my friends and suffer in silence as I nursed on a cup of over-priced cheap liquor. Well, maybe not in complete silence.

Jason clapped me roughly on the shoulder and grinned brightly as we looked out on the dance floor below. I shook my head slowly as I watched a Boba Fett do a "fist pump" to "Bodyrockers".

_What am I about to get myself into_, I wondered.

Our group of aliens, humans, and George stared at the action with giddy anticipation, ready to rush to the dance floor and let loose. Well, everyone but for Jack and me. And maybe Thane, but I couldn't tell due to his lack of vocalizing. Jack grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me away from him, her dark eyes locked on mine.

"Think I saw a bar. Let's go get a drink," she barked.

Curious by her request, I gave Thane a weak smile and followed her towards the open bar where a pretty Star Trek "Red Shirt" woman tended. Jack breathed a sigh of relief as two shots of whisky were slid towards us. I took a quick glance at her, surprised by her appearance. "Forced" into a pair of skinny jeans and a tight, bright red cowl-necked top she looked really pretty. She did opt to leave on the fedora which I decided to let her keep.

"You're tense as fuck, Davis," she spat as I slammed down my shot glass and breathed out the fiery fumes from the drink.

"Since when are you my therapist?" I shot back, knowing that she responded better to direct words rather than "soft" conversations. Jack smirked and nodded in acceptance.

"Since the Cerberus cheerleader made her appearance today. Guess you heard that she's got it for your Lizard-Boy. She doesn't seem to like you much and you're not a fan of hers either, which makes you my new best friend."

I looked back down at my empty glass and pointed towards it to request another shot. I was going to need it, I reasoned with myself.

"Yeah, well, I'm hoping that I don't have anything to worry about," I muttered absently before I threw back the shot. Jack smiled (_oh my God! She smiles_) and shrugged.

"When Shepard went looking for her sister on Illium Thane went with them just because he knew the lay of the area better than anyone else. That whole perfect memory thing, y'know. Well, they found her sister-twin-clone or whatever the fuck that girl is, and Miranda started hanging out in Life Support after the mission was over. Everyone began assuming that they were seeing each other, but when he wouldn't join her for dinners in the mess hall or visit her room we all kinda figured that he wasn't interested.

"I don't blame him; she's annoying as hell! But, then, I just happen to see them in the hallway going towards the Starboard Observatory one night. She was saying something to him but I didn't bother to snoop. I really didn't give a shit. Until she kissed him on the lips."

My gut dropped and I wanted to scream. I ordered a third shot.

"Why the hell are you telling me this?" my voice was weak and I tried with all my might to hide my shaking hands.

"Because, like I said, you're my new best friend for the moment. Thane didn't return it and Miranda walked away crying. She didn't see me and if Thane did he never said anything."

"Jack," I frowned at her. "I really don't want to hear about Miranda kissing Thane. I- he-we," I stuttered.

"Yeah, I get it. You love the guy. That's why I'm telling you this. Miranda doesn't take 'no' for an answer and she sees you as a road block. Kasumi, I'm sure, has already fed you some of the drama between them. She loves that shit. But I'm warning you; Miranda'll do everything in her power to get between you two. Don't let her fuck you over!" she pointed a finger towards my nose and walked away, leaving me feeling confused, angry, and frustrated. I began to wonder when the fuck my life became a clichéd soap opera.

O . . . O . . . O

When Miranda showed up I wanted to punch her until I saw blood. She wore a silver minidress with fishnet hose and any bit of confidence I had was shattered right then and there. How could I compete with that, with perfection? I felt my stomach tumble with nausea as she rested her stare on Thane and smiled slyly.

I hated competition, but, this time, it was on! I needed to prove that I was not going to lie down and accept defeat from her. Everything Jack and Kasumi had told me about her making her move on him caused my blood to boil.

Thane was mine!

I caught myself beginning to growl a low, predatory purr as she sauntered past our table. Whatever well-mannered, civilized human I had been vanished. I was ready to fight for my mate, ready to fight to prove I was the dominant woman. I had never felt that way in my life and it sort of scared me. I wasn't a fighter! I wasn't one of those crazy women who "threw down" on another chick and screamed "that's my man!" in front of a large crowd.

I swallowed the last drop of my whisky, a fourth shot I had been trying to nurse, and pushed out of my seat, shooting a lingering, daring look back at Thane before I disappeared into the dancing crowd. Daft Punk made their appearance at that moment, eliciting a roar of approval from the crowd as they began to play "Aerodynamic".

The music seemed to seep into my soul and my anger turned into lust. The combination was like a thick, rich drug prompting me to let loose, shed my overly self-conscious guard and be free for a change. I never liked to draw attention to myself; in fact I made my home in the shadows and avoided attention where and when I could. But, with the ambiance of the light shows, the sounds of cheers and cries of delight, the ecstatic feel of electricity burning into my skin, I could no longer fight it and I began to dance among the Sailor Moons and latex-clad Catwomen. The bass pounded against my heart and I matched the rhythm. My arms flew up into the warm air, fingertips reaching high to catch the notes that drifted across the arena's acoustics.

It felt great to let go, to allow the sweat to pour down my body and cause my loosened hair to stick to me, to feel the strain and pull of my muscles as I danced. I hadn't done so in such a long time and for a second I wondered how ridiculous I looked to everyone else. Then my eyes focused on a Stormtrooper wearing a short white PVC skirt and red high heels and that's when I realized no one else cared. Everyone was having fun, letting the daily grind of real life slip away into a fantasy. The unspoken battle between Miranda and me fell by the wayside.

I turned to my left and met Tali with a tight hug which she happily returned.

"I'm having so much fun!" she called to me as she waved her hands above her. I laughed at her pure mirth and gave a little kiss on the glass of her helmet where her cheek would've been, leaving a shining gloss mark sparkling in the light.

"Me, too!" I shouted back and gave her a little hip bump. The crowd grew tighter and more intimate as Daft Punk continued and I started to feel a little aroused. No, I didn't want to grab the first person I saw and start making out, but I did feel pleasantly exposed. I let my hands drift over the bared parts of my skin; my neck, collarbone, ran my fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and allowed the high of alcohol and endorphins seduce me.

And that's when I felt those deliciously warm hands snake over my abdomen, drawing me back into his toned, leather-clad body. I involuntarily gasped and took in the jolt of my excitement. His lips brushed over the shell of my ear and I sucked in my breath. I didn't need to see who it was; no one else ever touched me like he did and no one ever would again. His nails raked down under the waist of my jeans. My back arched, forcing my backside to press into his thighs.

"I must have you," he whispered to me and my blood began to burn for him. I turned my head to meet my lips against his, tongues touching briefly as a silent acceptance of his wish.

"Where?" I asked breathlessly, sighing quietly as I felt his erection press against my back. He kissed me sensuously again, teeth biting at the corner of my mouth.

"One of the private rooms," his left hand slid down my front and I immediately forgot about the rest of the world around me. I tasted the scotch on his breath and I knew he had allowed himself to indulge a little.

"Find one," my voice rasped, nearly pleading. In a flash, he had grabbed my wrist and jerked me through the hot, sticky crowd. Brilliant, multicolored flashes from the light show bounced off his face, causing the scales to glitter like rare jewels and I nearly laughed out loud. He was a forbidden god made of diamonds and emeralds and I was some unworthy human he chose as his plaything. There was stimulation everywhere around me, so much which could've easily overwhelmed me in my sensitive state.

But that quickly changed when he forced a pair of doors open that led down the hallway towards the locker rooms. My heart pounded harshly in my ears as we rounded the corner and entered what I assumed was the guest rooms for the visiting teams. The door was slammed shut and secured with a tall, heavy garbage can. A touch of fear swelled around my excitement as I watched him stalk towards me; a dragon coming after the sheep to devour her.

_Let him burn me_, I decided. _ Let him set me on fire. I want this here and now!_

His hands slid up my neck as he captured my lips, moaning in victory for the alone time we so rightfully deserved. It had been days since we made love and the frustrations of dealing with the day to day monotony, the fact that Miranda showed up, plus having Jack and Shepard in my home was starting to grate on my nerves. I needed to release.

My hands fumbled with the buckles of his complicated jacket, finally giving up and allowing him to remove it. It fell to the floor with a loud, echoing crash and I pulled him tightly to me. He had pressed me against the wall and began to unzip my jeans, swiftly pulling them down my legs. I stared deep into his dark eyes, green flashes sparking in the haunting, dim glow of the pale fluorescent lights that cast nothing but ominous shadows.

My tank top was thrown away and my breasts were force out of the cups of my bra for him to worship. With shaking hands I slid down the zipper of his vest and reached my fingertips inside the tight garment. It still wasn't enough; I wanted more of him, I wanted to touch him in the intimate way he was making my body sing for him. My hands drifted lower and felt the hard bulge pressing against the front of his pants. A dark growl rumbled from his chest and he pressed me harder against the wall as he grit his teeth, an attempt to control himself.

Reverting back to native tongue as he nipped at my shoulder, he lifted me up to allow my legs to wrap around his hips. He grabbed the thin elastic band around my waist and tore the thong from my groin. I had never been more excited and turned-on in my life. The psychotropic drug buzzed in my head and the creepy shadows in the room began to dance like a tribe celebrating the primal act of sex.

My head dropped back as he slid inside me roughly, making me cry out loudly. If anyone had possibly heard me I could've cared a less. It was rougher than I was used to and it made it all the more erotic and thrilling. He had taken to pulling my hair, not too hard; drawing my head back to attack my throat while I dug my nails down his back then raked them up his spine. We seemed to goad each other, to see how far we dared the intimacy and the pain to go. He grabbed at my thighs and bit my skin into hot, little welts. It nearly brought tears to my eyes but I wanted it.

"Siha," he groaned and I felt him stiffen inside me, swelling and pressing and grinding harder and faster. My own orgasm began to crest and the tell-tale heat and pulsing caused me to buck against him.

"Thane," I molded my mouth hungrily to his as I climaxed, hard and quick, with goose bumps prickling my skin and a warm rush of sweet release coursed through my bones and muscles. His teeth dug into my collarbone as he came, slowing his pumping and his strength as he held me tightly. I shook in his arms as I tried to control the spasms caused by the intense orgasm; my legs had turned to jelly and my blood was beginning to cool. The high still remained as I watched the eerily dancing shadows do the foxtrot with the pink polka dots that seemed to appear when I kissed him.

He brushed the dampened hair from my eyes and slowly kissed around my face.

"You seemed to enjoy that," he teased. I smiled and found myself giggling.

"What wasn't there to enjoy?" I breathed in the rich spice at his neck as I kissed the fluttering skin at his throat. "Let's go to the roof."

"What's on the roof?" he gently licked over the bite marks he left on my shoulders and neck.

"You'll see," I promised.

O . . . O . . . O

The air was bitterly cold but I was too high and too happy to feel the chill surrounding me. New York was a dazzling, elegant socialite wearing her best couture gown that night as the buildings glittered their lights over the landscape. I was laughing like an idiot as I stood on the rooftop and reveled in the freedom and elation surging through me.

I had never been happier in my life.

"This is why I love this city," I said as the cool wind picked my hair off my back. "This is why so many people are pulled here. Despite how cruel and wicked it may seem New York can be such a marvelous place. Most of the time we shuffle around with our eyes on the concrete and don't take the time to look up and see just how amazing things can really be."

"It is beautiful," Thane agreed as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "But not as beautiful as you are to me."

I blushed and snickered in sarcasm. No one had ever called me beautiful before and it seemed like a joke in a way.

"Funny!"

"Siha," he slowly turned to me and placed his warm fingertips on my cheeks. There was something desperate in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and finally opened it again.

"I have something for you," his voice fell over the soft, cool breeze that blew around us. I watched as he pulled something small from the inner pocket of his jacket, unable to see it too clearly in the dark. It appeared to be a thin black cord but he held it with such reverence I began to wonder what it really was. He stared down at it in silence for a few seconds before he reached for my hands.

"In drell culture we have been forced by instinct to become selfish creatures, possessive of material things which we consider precious. Even in the time where we have been made an integral part of Kahjean society, I suppose, old habits die hard. We still tend to be stingy. We gladly share stories and memories with company, but drell rarely give tangible gifts. That's not to say we aren't generous. Gifts are reserved for family members, spouses, religious leader, and, in this case, from one lover to another."

I watched as he took the delicately woven rope and tied it around my wrist, sealing the knot with a slow, lingering kiss.

"Here in your world, I have no credits to my name, so I am doing the next best thing I can to show you how I feel. Each knot is a prayer to the gods for you from me. With each pass of the thread into itself I beg for your happiness, for your health, for your success in life, and for safe passage across the Sea when your life's journey is at an end. But, most of all, I pray for your love."

He paused as I leaned in closer to look at the detail of the tiny woven braid. There were hundreds of miniscule knots all arranged in a faint and rather pretty pattern along the length. In fact, as I took a deeper glance, there were knots within the knots. Maybe even thousands tied into one another! I was in awe and speechless. It was the most wonderful thing anyone had ever given me.

"It's just- God! It's beautiful, Thane!" I wiped my tears off my chilling face. He took my hands again and I realized he was trembling.

"Sara," he stepped closer and I closed my eyes as I felt his breath against my lips. "I've wanted to tell you, for days in fact, how I feel about you. But it never seems to be the right moment," I heard him chuckle lightly.

"I've notice," I joked, trying to cover my nervousness.

"I will understand if you don't feel the same about me, but, I love you."

And, just like that, the emotions I had been fighting for days broke forth from the dam around my heart. I choked on a sob and clutched to his arms, holding on for dear life. It hurt but in a good way. It was what I wanted to hear, and what I also dread hearing.

"I-I," I wept, unable to keep my breath. He pulled me to him and just held me, fingers curling through my hair in a soothing manner, and I heard a soft purr vibrate in his chest. "God, why can't I just spit it out?" I laughed and shook my head. "I love you. I love you so much."

When we finally kissed I tasted salt on his lips. I forgot about the world around me, about the brilliant skyline around us and the sounds of the living city below. I was lost in him and, for once in my life, I allowed myself to be overcome.

"We should probably go back inside," he murmured. "Your friends may send a search party before long." I smiled and nodded in agreement, beginning to shiver in the cold. So we left the roof of MSG, taking one last look at the diamond-encrusted pillars rising into the black sky and I felt a pensive humor settle in my heart. This moment would stand out crystal clear among all others, I realized. I felt his hand take mine as I gazed up at the Empire State Building in the background. It was green for Saint Patrick's Day coming up in a couple of weeks; however, to me, it was green because of Thane.

O . . . O . . . O

"Derezzed" shook inside the arena when we returned and I watched with amusement as Tali, Kasumi, and George bounced around Jason to the beat. I tried to stay out of the light but George caught sight of my dark blue sequined top and rushed towards me, grabbing my hands to pull me into the crazy crowd. I feebly protested but it didn't last long as I felt Jason nearly jump on my back to keep me within the circle. I laughed out loud as I watched his jerky movements.

With all the emotions, the rise and falls that I was subjected to, this was a favorable ending for me to seal off the Cosplayers' Convention. And so I danced with my friends, I danced to the emotions, to the highs and the lows of the past two days. I danced because I was in love and because others loved me. I danced because I had faced a few battles and didn't leave me too scarred.

Soon our circle grew to include Jacob and Miranda which surprised me that I wasn't quite so annoyed by that fact. Shepard slid towards the middle and revealed that his dancing was just as bad as the games projected. Thane came up behind me and began to sway to the beat, smiling lips on my cheek and neck and I leaned back into him.

I looked up into the ceiling at the wave of pulsing laser lights and glitter from the mirror balls reflecting off the walls and I realized that I was happy. I had won against my own self-hatred. I deserved it, even for just a short moment in my life. And I regretted nothing.


	18. Chapter 18

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Cosmopolitan magazine, Honda vehicles, and Skype. Warning; never anger a mentally unstable superbiotic. Material possessions could be destroyed.

Chapter 18: Sunday

I was sore, I had a headache, and my mouth tasted like something crawled inside and died. But I was happy. I opened one blurry, crusty eye to look down at the pretty knotted bracelet that encircled my wrist and I smiled. I was in love! The world could begin to break apart at my feet, the sky could begin raining fire, and zombies could start rising from their graves and none of it would've shaken me.

I rolled to my right to meet the dark, glittering stare of my "beloved". He pulled me to him and leaned in to kiss me when I threw my hand between up, blocking my mouth.

"No. My breath tastes like a rotting corpse," I explained when he blinked in surprise. Thane gently pulled my hand away and kissed me anyway. I felt my body awake as he came over me, settling between my legs. My breath caught in my throat as he began to touch me.

"I just wanna know one thing," I whispered as the sex began. "How-oh, God! How is it that you know how to please me?'

His teeth nipped at my throat and my back arched.

"Do you want the truth?"

I paused for a second, wondering if I wanted to, indeed, know the truth. Were assassins on Kahje trained to perform inexplicable acts of pleasure to their victims before they took their lives? Were drell just born to be amazing lovers? What's the worst thing I could imagine in my twisted, overly imaginative brain?

"Okay," I gave in and my eyes fluttered shut.

"Your periodical, the one Shepard was reading the other morning," he revealed and I forced him to stop as I stared at him in shock.

"You read my Cosmo?" I blushed with shame. A coy grin tugged at his full, pouty lips as he ran a fingernail down my chest.

"And a few interesting sites on your extranet. They were- rather informative and descriptive."

"Oh, no! You didn't!" I groaned and laughed in embarrassment.

"I needed to know about you. I had never been with a human before," he admitted and began to place faint kisses along my collarbone. Despite my chagrin and stun from discovering that he had went looking for advice I found his curiosity sweet. Then I began to wonder just how far his "research" went.

"Siha," he drew me back and gave me another deep, attention-diverting kiss. The intimacy began and I momentarily forgot that he had gone web-surfing for "How to Make Love to a Nerdy Human Female". As he climaxed he began to whisper in my ear the three words I had heard him say to me before but I never dared to ask for a translation.

"What does that mean?" I asked when he rested on my chest, my legs shaking from my own release. "Ya lasso ear." He chuckled softly at my butchered attempt to try to speak his language.

"_Ya lieseh ea_'," he corrected slowly. "I love you."

I blinked my eyes open, realizing he had been saying it all along and I had no clue.

"Really?" I smiled, elated. "That's so beautiful! Could you teach me more?"

A bright grin broke on his face and he nodded. He laced his fingers through mine and began to speak the flowing, elegant words, prompting me to repeat until he was satisfied with my pronunciations. After a short five minute lesson, until we began to make out again, I had learned to say "yes, no, hello, kiss me, and touch me".

We were close to making love for a second time when I heard a loud crash from the living room followed by Jack's voice growling loudly.

"Fuck!"

I sighed and sat up, grabbing my robe, and was about to head out towards the living room when I was quickly pulled back on the bed.

"Say it again, Siha," he brushed his lips against mine.

"Say what?" I teased.

His right eye ridge cocked slightly on his brow and I snorted a laugh. I repeated the short, romantic phrase of "I love you" in Drell, allowing me to be given another deep kiss before he let me go.

I giggled to myself as I walked down the hall then stopped on my tiptoes when I saw a black burnt spot in the middle of my living room floor. My jaw dropped open and I was lost for any words for the situation. Jack sat perched on the armchair, her arms crossed over her chest with a strange combination of shame and anger on her face. Shepard frowned at her, shaking his head as he flipped the page in my latest copy of "Wired" magazine.

"What the hell happened? Why is my floor burnt?" I demanded when I finally found my voice. Shepard pointed an accusing finger at the tattooed rogue, remaining silent.

"I couldn't figure out how to turn on that fucking holoscreen of yours!" she mumbled. As I took a closer look at the smoldering pile I realized it was my remote. Jack had apparently set it on fire with some kind of biotic attack.

"Okay," I rubbed my forehead wearily. "Next time you want to watch the television, just ask me."

"The hell I was going back to your room to ask!" she snorted. "What, with you and the drell fucking like a couple of adolescent pyjaks?"

And, on that note, I turned on my heels and quickly rushed back to my room.

After breakfast, and a quick clean-up of the decimated remote, I received a call from Mary saying that she was on her way over with something important. My morning was quickly going from idyllic peace and romance to chaos and confusion. Story of my life! Moments later my call button buzzed to announce my guest plus two. I rolled my eyes and opened the door and waited for her to arrive.

Mary rushed through my door, nearly knocking me down as she briskly walked to my bar and sat her laptop on the surface. I smiled in "thanks" as Garrus quickly caught me before my backside landed on the floor.

"Hello to you, too," I mumbled as I passed her in the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee.

"This was in my email yesterday after I arrived home from picking up Tali at that dance," she said quickly as she slid the laptop towards me then prompted the screen to flash on when she woke it. Thane appeared next to me to watch whatever Mary considered to be so important that I needed to suffer a bruise to my forearm from a violently opening door.

The video was slightly choppy from the streamed content over Skype, but, sure enough, there was the face of a rust-skinned salarian who happened to be missing his right horn. He rubbed his white chin ponderously, eyes blinking rapidly.

"Extranet in this point in time archaic, inefficient, awkward. Lacking maneuverability and ease of use, but will try to make the best of it," he cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "Greetings! Hope I am talking to the correct owner of this particular linked address. Discovered message in regards to scattered squad mates from the starship known as the Normandy. Wanted to say 'I am fine and in good health'. Unable to meet at the locale mentioned; insufficient funds available to meet traveling needs. The human who is housing me has been most helpful. Must admit, the shrill screaming from her when I first appeared was unpleasant. Otherwise, I am in fine spirits and waiting anxiously for a reply to this vid. Contact me back when convenient. Will leave extranet address link."

The screen went black and I realized I had spilled my coffee on the floor. I shook myself back to reality and ran into the kitchen for a towel.

"Where is he?" I asked as I cleaned my mess.

"Not too far from here. Pennsylvania was the physical address given. What is that smell?" her brow crinkled.

"Jack killed my remote," I answered casually. Mary nodded then closed the laptop.

"I want to go get him and bring him back. His host is a woman in her twenties who works in a local big box supercenter. I doubt she has the money or the transportation to bring him to New York. My van's ready to go, with a full tank of gas. I have enough room for you and Thane to go along. Tali and Garrus said they could stay here with John and Jack."

I sighed and decided to hold my tongue when it was obvious we had been "volunteered" to go on a road-trip and that my home would remain the main base of operations for the search. After I showered and dressed I prepared myself for hours' worth of Mary while stuck in a Honda Odyssey minivan. Thane had the convenience of drifting into a memory while I wasn't so lucky.

Two hours later I found myself sitting in the passenger's seat of the navy blue minivan heading down the interstate with Bolero playing over the speakers. Mary hummed along to the music in a cheerful, quiet staccato while Thane sat in the back with the patience of a saint as he watched the world zoom by his window. I had given him a deep-hooded sweatshirt to wear to hide his face from any gawkers and all I could see from the shadows was the tip of his nose and his lips.

"Hey, uh, Mary," I began, interrupting her song. "You did tell this girl that we're coming to her house, right?"

"No," she replied, not at all bothered by the fact that we weren't expected at this stranger's place. A nervous pang filled my gut and I looked back at Thane who seemed to share the same sentiment as me. I dropped my face into my awaiting hands and groaned in dismay.

"Why did I get out of bed again?" I asked rhetorically.

Mary went back to her song while I silently panicked that the cops were going to be called on us when we arrived at this unknown destination. The cops, upon seeing two aliens, would then go on to contact the FBI, who would then call the CIA, who would then call the military and I would be put through hours and hours of pokes and prods with torture devices by some crazy scientist because I just happened to have sex with one of the aliens who were being cut open "for science".

Another hour later we arrived in a quiet, all-American town with white picket fences around the homes and red-brick public buildings along Main Street. We pulled up to a small apartment complex where apparently the girl lived. We climbed a short flight of stairs to one door and Mary began to knock loudly. I waited for the scream and a shotgun pointed in our faces. I watched as a curtain was briefly pulled back then snapped shut quickly. A few seconds later a soft, nervous voice came through the door.

"Who is it?"

"My name is Mary Brewster. I am here with Sara Davis and her 'guest'. We received the Skype message last night," she informed. Another few moments of silence passed.

"Um, h-hold on," the voice returned and I heard the sound of locks clicking open. The door opened to reveal a petite, frail young woman with pale blue eyes and spiked purple hair. Her eyes went from Mary to me. When she reached Thane her stare went saucer-wide and her mouth dropped open.

"Holy shit!" she murmured.

Thane bowed to her when she stood next to the door jamb and ushered us inside. It was a small place, very clean, but lightly furnished with random posters of rock bands thumb-tacked to the walls.

"Um, c-can I get anyone something do drink? I think I have some Dr. Pepper still left," she offered as she rushed to her kitchenette.

"No, thanks," I said with a smile, hoping I could help ease her anxiety (and my own). She fidgeted with a dish towel and nodded.

"Okay. S-sure. Um, M-mordin, he's in my bedroom. I'll g-go and get him."

I began to wonder if her stutter was from nerves or if she had that problem naturally. I once was a stutterer when I was a kid and I remembered being mercilessly teased for the speech impediment. After years of speech therapy it somewhat disappeared, but every now and then it would rear its ugly head when I was upset or nervous.

We waited in her living room, sitting on her sofa, and I stared up at the plethora of posters on the eggshell white walls. Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Tool; bands I used to brood to when was a high school kid and I smiled. A moment later she returned followed by Mordin. Thane rose to his feet and bowed to him, removing the hood from his skull.

"Thane Krios! Happy to see you well! Was wondering who my vid reached when I posted it!"

"It actually was me who saw it," Mary spoke up. "I'm housing Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." Mordin nodded quickly and tuned to the purple-headed girl who was tugging absently on her labret ring.

"Katie suggested the use of the program on the extranet. After I discovered the encoded message and translated it. Wished I could've met those who have been found. Am happy to see you came!" he smiled, revealing rows of tiny white teeth.

"I wanted to see if you would like to come meet everyone else. All of the found squad is currently in New York City."

Mordin scratched his chin in thought while Katie seemed to shrink some.

"Hmm. A gathering of found members, assuming they're all staying in the same place?"

"No. Most of who we found are in New York. Jacob and Miranda were located elsewhere," I spoke up. "Jack was in Massachusetts but she's staying with me now."

"J-Jack? Wow! I, um, w-would like to m-meet her. If th-that's cool, I mean," she tugged on the ragged sleeves of her shirt. I wasn't sure how Jack would handle knowing she had fans. Then again, maybe seeing that she had some admirers would pull her out of her funk. Or I would end up with more charred spots in my apartment from her throwing little balls of biotic frustration at my walls.

"We should have plenty of room in the van. Right, Mary?" I turned to her.

"Of course! Let's go," she started for the door.

"Wait!" Katie raised her voice but shied meekly towards a corner. "Th-there's another squad mate."

"Who?" I asked, wondering who else could be hiding in the tiny apartment.

O . . . O . . . O

The garage door squeaked open with an almost overly loud shudder. I squinted against the light in hopes of seeing who was hiding in the shadows. The mustiness of "garage smell" and something rather foreign crept up my nose, making me wrinkle it. Katie flipped on the pale incandescent light hanging awkwardly from the ceiling and the gleam of brightly polished steel was the first thing I noticed. My eyes widened as the huge bulk of shadow stood from his crouch, ready to charge and pummel his intruders.

"Grunt," the petite girl spoke gently. "It's me and Mordin. And, guess what? We found Thane."

I suddenly realized her stutter had disappeared. The young krogan's cold blue glare softened and he nodded, looking back down at the small object in his hands.

"Thought I smelled him," his deep voice rumbled through the concrete of the floor. I began to wonder how we were going to fit him in the van. "Who are the other humans?"

I dared to take a step closer and offered a smile, hoping it didn't trigger some kind of attack response. Grunt's eyes narrowed and I immediately stopped, taking that as my cue not to go any closer.

"My name is Sara, Urdnot Grunt. I am Thane's host."

Grunt sniffed at the air and that's when I notice the object in his grip. It was a doll! Why would a fearless krogan be holding a doll? It looked rather new with long blonde hair wearing a sweet little pink dress.

"You smell like the drell. Are you breeding with him?"

"Uh, w-well, we can't really, uh, breed-"

"Intercourse for sexual pleasure," Mordin interrupted. "Assuming any xeno to human issues have been resolved, completely possible. Drell and human physiology very similar, sexual organs especially. Erogenous zones compatible, certain chemical reactions would enhance experience; would make for an interesting study!"

"No!" Thane and I both shouted in unison. Mordin shrugged and fell silent. Grunt had gone back to brushing his talon-ended fingers through the doll's hair.

"Don't care to know," he grumbled. "What are they doing here?"

Katie approached him and handed him a sandwich which he devoured in one gulp.

"They're taking us to another place to meet some of the squad that's been found. Would you like to go?" she spoke to him with the gentle tone a teacher would use for a kindergarten-aged child.

"Did they find Shepard?"

"Yes, Shepard's there," she smiled. Grunt started past us, his weight actually shaking the ground, and stood in the doorway of the garage, nearly blocking all the light. He was a massive creature! Clutching the little blonde doll to his chest, he stood up tall and nodded.

"Take me to him."


	19. Chapter 19

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: The Lord of the Rings saga and Cosmopolitan magazine. The following chapter contains massive quantities of food consumed by a young krogan, women lusting over Viggo Mortensen, and a drell who has taken sexual advice from a woman's lifestyle periodical.

Chapter 19: Sunday Continuing

We headed back to New York after we shoved Grunt into the back of Mary's van (collapsing the back seat so he could lie down) and found that the vehicle went much slower than before. The time seemed to fly by much faster due to Mordin's fast-paced talking. The salarian doctor asked questions about each of the found squad-mates and we all tried our best to answer.

Katie sat up front with Mary, but kept a close eye on Grunt who seemed content to stay curled in the boot-area. Luckily, the sun was beginning to set meaning that the other cars around us wouldn't be able to see easily through the windows. We ended up stopping at a fast-food restaurant, parking in the back lot, as Mary and Katie went after food for everyone. I stayed behind to keep talking to Mordin, finding him fascinating and really funny.

"How did Katie get Grunt to the garage without anyone seeing her?" I asked as I took another glance at the krogan youth who was tucking the doll under Thane's sweatshirt which he gladly gave up, complaining about getting too warm in the cramped vehicle.

"Tried to keep him in the apartment for a few day, found out it was inconvenient for him. Too little space. Waited until nightfall one evening and showed him to the garage. Landlord never uses it; Katie was only one with the key. She keeps it as a personal art studio. Talented young woman! Lacks self-esteem to see the spark in her.

"She visits him daily, brings him sustenance as often as she can. Visit when I can, usually during the evening, disguised in human clothing, of course. The garage is not as uncomfortable as you may think. Stays constant temperature, plenty of lighting, lamps. Grunt sometimes prefers the dark. Surprising how much sleep a krogan does need!" he scratched his chin as he smiled.

I was a little surprised myself. After being portrayed as a dangerous, unpredictable berserker he seemed so innocent and demure as he sat in a tight ball, the blond doll cradled in his arms. I was beginning to wonder just how deep and interesting the squad really was compared to the characters in the game.

"Must ask, there is more than just a physical relationship between you two?" Mordin pulled my concentration away from staring at the young krogan.

"Wh-why do you ask?" I tried to appear somewhat flippant and I failed miserably.

"Bracelet on left wrist, not right. To certain species; drell, asari, humans, the left side is attached to emotional response. Most notably, feelings of admiration. Love," the salarian smiled, his wrinkles around his eyes crinkling pleasantly.

I looked down at the bracelet and touched the strands that fell from the sealing knot then back up at Thane who smiled gently and reached for my hands.

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's become- complex."

Two more hours and ten fish sandwiches fed to Grunt later we arrived back in New York City. As we pulled up before the apartment building I quickly tried to figure out a way to get Grunt and Mordin inside before anyone could see them. Mordin we could maybe throw a coat and hat over and rush him up the stairs, but Grunt was a completely different beast altogether.

"Mary," I began as I looked up towards my wall-o-windows on the top floor. "Go on up and get a couple of big blankets. Maybe we can try to cover him with them and sneak him up that way."

Moments later she returned with the comforter off my bed (the biggest blanket in my home), and we covered the krogan in satiny aquas and sands.

"This has got to be one of the stranger things I've done in my life," I muttered as I held the lobby doors open, glad that no one was inside.

"Stranger than having a romantic affair with an alien?" Thane's grin shone from beneath his hood before he planted a kiss on my lips.

"Did you just make a joke?" I coughed on a laugh. He darted inside the lobby and peeked up the stairwell to see if anyone else was around.

"Perhaps. The coast is clear."

Slowly, we escorted the covered krogan up five flights of stairs to the alcove before my door. The loud noise coming from inside meant that I had a houseful of guests in my home. I was about to add three more to the mix. Just as I thought the rest of the squad mates and their hosts had made themselves comfortable. Mordin and Grunt were greeted by the others with loud cheers. Grunt seemed to relax as Shepard patted his shoulder and showed him inside.

After a few moments of being surrounded by people in nearly every corner of my apartment I began to feel a bit claustrophobic and I excused myself to go onto the roof where I often retreated to get some fresh air from time to time. Near the edge was a small, wrought-iron bench I bought when I first moved into the building. I sat down, stretched out my legs, and looked out at my neighborhood below. The air was cool, the foot traffic was slowing, but the streets were still filled with taxis and residential cars. The Mom and Pop stores wouldn't open until the next morning. It was peaceful, at least as peaceful as it could get for New York City.

"May I join you?" Thane's voice carried gently over the sounds of the streets. I smiled and waved him over where he sat down next to me, placing my feet on his lap.

"Were you volunteered to check on me?" I joked and relaxed as he rubbed his hands over my legs.

"No, not exactly. I got the feeling that you wanted to be alone. If you wish me to leave, I will return to the apartment."

"Don't go," I smiled. It hit me hard in that second that while I might have meant "don't go just this moment" I realized I didn't want him to leave me at all. I wanted him to stay with me, in this time, for the rest of our lives. Which, for him, wasn't very long, and it hurt to keep remembering just how ill he was. I bit down on my lips to keep the tears at bay. I've never loved anyone like I did him and it seemed so cruel for the Fates to allow him to fall into my life.

"Siha, you're quiet. Are you alright?"

I caressed his cheek, remarking that there was barely a scar where he was injured over a week ago.

"Humans don't have perfect memory like drell, and in many ways I envy what you have in that aspect. My memories of us may fade some as the years go by, but I promise you I will never forget you. I just want you to know that, Thane. I could never forget you."

He smiled and leaned into my hand, a purr coming from his throat as he kissed my fingertips. We continued to sit on the rooftop, happily silent, and watched the scene below. Faint traces of snow floated down from the sky, melting as soon as they touched our skin, and I watched as he regarded the flurries with fascination.

"This planet, this home of yours, it is paradise, Siha," he whispered as he drew me near.

"I'm sure there are much prettier places to see in the galaxy. Illium, the Citadel, they must be gorgeous."

"Any place could be paradise as long as you're there," he tilted my chin up to look into my eyes.

"Ooh, you're good! Where'd you find that line?" I teased and caused him to laugh. It was a great sound to hear, so rich and throaty and honest. It made his eyes glow and the faint dimples just beneath the lines of his lips to peek out in his chin.

"Your Cosmopolitan," he joked back and we laughed harder. He untied my hair and ran his fingers through it. He told me he loved me and kissed me deeply, warming me as the snow began to fall heavier around us.

When we returned to the apartment a game of poker was already in full swing along with The Fellowship of the Ring playing on my television. I felt the pressures of the tension from earlier melt away and I coaxed Thane over to the wall o' windows where we watched the rest of the squad. Mary, Al, Katie, and Joaquin talked at the bar, discussing how they "found" their guests. In the living room, parked on my sofa, were Kasumi, Tali, and Jack watching the movie, Kasumi openly remarking her infatuation for Aragorn. Garrus, Shepard, Mordin, and Jacob were playing the card game with Grunt, doll still in his clutch, looking on.

Miranda was the only one not involved in some group. She had found a book from my shelf along the wall and parked herself down on the armchair, acting oblivious to the activity around her. I was about to offer her some company when her cold stare met mine. Her eyes narrowed and I dropped back down onto the cushions, feeling slightly insulted.

I allowed Katie to spend the night, promising that someone would get her home the next day.

"I'm n-not sure if G-grunt," she glanced back at the krogan who had fallen asleep on the floor in the living room next to the sofa. I placed a comforting hand on her arm and smiled.

"He's safe here," I promised. "We can bring you back here during your days off to spend time with him."

She nodded in agreement and seemed to breathe easier.

"R-right. Thane'll take care of him, right? And J-jack?"

I glanced back at Thane who bowed his head in agreement.

"We'll all take care of him," I nodded. "May I ask you something?"

"Uh, s-sure," she sank down onto the sofa after I handed her a set of fresh clothes.

"He seems to be really calm around you. How do you do it?"

Katie placed a blanket over his broad shoulders and smiled lovingly.

"He's just a little boy in a full-grown body," her stutter faded away again. "I'm working towards a masters in teaching because I love kids. Grunt's confused about who and what he is and he wants to be seen as important. So, just like any little kid you make him feel like he's special. He's really very sweet. He sees Shepard as his father, which is what a Battlemaster really is. Shepard takes care of him, makes sure he's safe."

As I looked down at Grunt I realized that he must've been terrified. Krogan were noted to be aggressive and dangerous, and Grunt was portrayed as being "pure krogan". Maybe his aggression was his way of hiding his fears. I felt absolute pity for the large, slumbering creature snoring on my rug. Here was a child, locked in a powerful shell, with little understanding of what he was. He wasn't just some experiment. And Katie was one of the few who could see past that stigma. I was just beginning to.

Shepard and Al were the last to leave my apartment that night. I made sure Katie had all she needed for the night and Mordin promised to stay up (declaring he only needed about two hours sleep) and keep an eye on everything. Jack had retreated to her room, surprising me by showing my new guests a little compassion as she offered an extra pillow for Grunt to put under his head.

"I'm wondering just how chaotic this is all going to get before it's over," I mused out loud as I changed out of my clothes. I was about to pull an oversized tee-shirt over my head when it was flung out of my hands. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my naked chest but they were gently pulled away. Thane took a lingering look at my body and slowly began to touch my skin. I was about to ask what he was doing when I was cut off by a deep kiss. The touching intensified and I soon found myself on the bed.

"Thane, we have guests," I started to protest. He shook his head and placed his index finger over my lips. I nodded in understanding and tried to remain silent as he began to treat me to the most amazing and blissful touching and kissing I had ever experienced. His mouth was pure magic, his tongue sinful as he pushed me into a hard and quick climax. It was torturous not to sound out my lusts for him but I did my best to remain quiet. I wanted him to stop before I found myself crying out but he continued and I was forced into another orgasm.

When he finally let me go I was so high from his mouth and the dopamine in my blood that I had to bite on my hand to stifle my laughing.

"Did you learn that one from Cosmopolitan, too?" I teased and began to trace the lines at his throat. He sighed in pleasure and attempted to keep from becoming aroused. He was failing and I was happy to see it.

"N-no," he breathed. "That was from the extranet."

"Then, what else have you learned?" I began to nibble gently on his frill and I smiled when a soft moan exited his lips.

"I'm not sure if you could remain silent for the other interesting things I've found. Oh, Siha, if you continue, I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself."

Feeling a little devilish and even a bit generous to what he offered me moments ago I forced him back into the pillows and made the decision to reciprocate. At first he protested, trying to move me away.

"No, Sara, I-_ ai, ea' strixtarrasa_!" he moaned as I continued to pleasure him. He writhed and pulsed beneath me as I pushed him towards his own edge. With a low, deep growl he pushed me away and crawled over me, finishing himself off much to my surprise. His hand came up to my throat, never choking me but pressed against my neck as he looked into my eyes.

"Bad, bad boy," I chided playfully as I gripped to his hands. "You got a little noisy."

"I blame you," he smiled and his hand slid from my neck to my cheek. "You've been taking advice from that magazine as well."

"Mmmaybe," I giggled at the pink polka dots above his head.

"I believe you need to rest, Siha," he kissed the corner of my mouth. "It has been a long day for the both of us."

I agreed and curled up next to him on the bed, listening to the waltz-like rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: iPhone and Imitrex pharmaceudical. For those of you who are fans of Miranda Lawson, the author would like to apologize for making her a bitch. But not really…

Chapter 20: Friday (Week after the convention)

It was quiet time finally. Jason had taken the human squad mates out for pizza since it happen to be a nice day for a change while Mary took Mordin and Grunt to her home in Brooklyn in the security of her van. Thane had retreated to my bedroom to meditate (and maybe to even get some solitary peace which I didn't blame him) which meant I was stuck alone with Miranda. I tried to remain hospitable, even feeling a little bad for treating her as coldly as I did those first few days. I still didn't like her much, but I attempted to tolerate her presence in my home.

I began to clean up the kitchen and straighten the mess in the rest of the apartment as she sat on my sofa reading. I was just about to start wiping down the windows when she spoke up.

"He gave you a present, I see."

I stopped and looked down at the bracelet on my wrist, feeling a swell of pride in my heart.

_Yeah, he gave ME a present, not you_! I wanted to bark back but I held my tongue as I nodded in silence.

"I wouldn't take it lightly, if I were you. Drell don't just give presents like we humans do."

A bubble of anger tensed in my chest and I had to bite on my tongue again.

_We humans! You sanctimonious bitch! You probably have no fucking clue what this bracelet means to me!_

"Believe me, I don't" I retorted. She returned to reading and me to cleaning; a little faster, thanks to her. The only noise between us was the faint sounds of the city below and the hum of the dehumidifier in the room.

"He misses his wife," she said lowly. I stopped wiping down the wall-o-windows and stared down at my hands. The smell of Windex was almost overpowering.

"I'm sure he does."

"Were you ever married?"

_Nosy broad! What business is it of yours?_

"No." I answered tersely and sprayed more cleaner on the glass, quickly wiping it away with some ferocity.

"When a spouse dies unexpectedly it can stay trapped inside a person," she sounded like some arrogant know-it-all.

"And you're the expert on the subject?" I snapped as I marched towards my kitchen to dispose of the dirty, damp paper towels.

"No, not really," Miranda stood from her seat and approached the bar. "But I've been around plenty who have suffered their partners' deaths. A lot of times when some random stranger shows the widow or widower a little kindness they can interpret that as affection. And, more often than not, it leads to heart break. They're looking for their lost mate while the other person is just looking for a warm body."

A cruel smile snaked up her lips and my short-lived pity for her burned away into sheer hate. I pressed my warmed hands onto the bar as I leaned over it, staring her cold in the eye.

"You think Ah'm just usin' Thane, is that it?" I asked in a dark voice.

"I don't know," she smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know much of anything about you. You could be the nicest person on the entire planet or you could be some serial psychopath who preys on the lonely. All I know is that in a very short time you and Thane have become a bit close. I'm only concerned for his well-being."

I felt my body go ice cold but I saw red. I rushed out of my kitchen for fear that I would start attacking her and not stop. Her words were hurtful, cruel, and downright mean. I bit down hard on my lips to keep from crying but tears were already burning down my cheeks and I tasted my own blood.

I passed Thane as I ran into the bedroom, hoping he didn't see how upset she had made me, but he was too observant and I found him standing behind me as I washed cold water on my face.

"Siha, what is it?"

I shook my head, not sure if I should tell him. What if what Miranda said was true? What if he was trying to substitute me for his long-departed wife?

"Sara, please; I am here," he tried to drag it out of me.

"Sweetheart, I-" I hesitated speaking. "I wanna know something, and don't lie to me."

He placed a hand on my shoulder and tried to draw me back to him.

"I never would," he promised.

I faced him, my eyes darting around to keep from looking him in the eye.

"What is this between us? What am I to you?"

Thane blinked both sets of eyelids and jerked back like I had stung him.

"I- we are in a relationship; a serious one at that, for me. Is it not for you?"

I felt more tears breech my eyes and I took a deep breath as I sat down on the edge of my tub.

"Do you miss Irikah?"

"Of course, I do!" there was a rough edge to his voice, like I had insulted him. "She was my wife, the mother of my child. Why are you asking such questions?"

I shook my head again and wondered if I should reveal the conversation between Miranda and me. And, if I did, what would he do to her?

"Thane, I-I hope you understand that I could never replace her." I immediately regretted opening my mouth. He took a step back towards the door and my heart broke. The sadness that filled his eyes hurt me in the worst way.

"I never asked or expected you to. If you will excuse me," he turned on his heels and walked out of the room leaving me to sob uncontrollably.

A moment later I went back out towards the living room, grabbed my coat from the closet, and rushed down the stairs into the open air. My eyes stung and my head began to ache. I started walking, not paying any attention to where I was going. I hated myself for opening my mouth, for daring to hurt the one man I loved so desperately. I kept going over those last few seconds when the words were spat out from my throat like some kind of verbal vomit. I was a terrible, terrible person.

I stopped for a moment and took a glance at where I was. The pain in my head intensified and I knew it was about to become a bad migraine. I had walked at least ten to twelve blocks and I hated the rash decision to storm away from my apartment building. I didn't bother to take my handbag with me which meant I had no money for a cab. I would have to walk back as my headache worsened with each step.

My iPhone rang, the Imperial March indicating that it was Jason back from getting the pizza.

"Davis! Where are you?" he asked with both worry and scolding. I sighed and placed the back of my hand over my forehead, wincing against the bright light of the sun.

"I needed a breather."

"Well, get your ass back here! Thane's wearing a groove in the floor with his pacing and I think he's about to snap Miranda's neck."

I spat a curse, a surge of guilt weighing on me. _Of course, he found out_! It wasn't that big of a mystery to know something was said between her and me. I also hurt him; then I walked away without giving him any warning, leaving him with that arrogant bitch.

"Fine," I muttered as I hung up the phone and began walking back down the street. When I arrived my head was throbbing so badly I could barely focus on the steps beneath my feet. And I had five flights of them to travel up. My first destination was my medicine cabinet in the kitchen where I choked down an Imitrex and ibuprophren, knowing they wouldn't do me any good.

"Sara?" Jason piped up over the rest of the noise. I shot him a glare through my aching eyes and shook my head.

"Not now," I said weakly and headed for my bedroom in hopes of getting rid of the nauseating, debilitating, beyond annoying throb in my brain. About an hour later a soft knock rapped on my door and I grunted in reply, not bothering to remove the cold washcloth over my eyes.

"Siha," he whispered and I felt the bed bow under his weight.

"Oh, baby," I sighed weakly, tears rushing up my sinuses. "I am the worst person in the world right now. I am so sorry," I reached for his hand.

A warm kiss graced my fingertips then his arms encircled my waist as he lay down next to me. Under normal circumstances I didn't want anyone around me when I suffered the terrible headaches. But I didn't want him walk away from me again. I needed him there; I needed him to know how much I still loved him.

"I don't blame you. I knew something was wrong. I do wish you told me; this could've been avoided."

I nodded slowly, trying to avoid any movement to my head.

"I am really sorry, Thane."

"I know. Miranda shan't be a problem to you anymore."

I was suddenly curious of what he said to her, but he didn't explain and I continued to lay still with the hope I wouldn't feel the need to throw up.

I had fallen asleep and when I woke most of the pain had subsided but for the lovely feeling of cotton stuffed in my skull. I pulled him closer to me and relaxed against the warmth of his body. A satisfied sigh rushed from his mouth.

"You are alright?" he asked.

"Sort of," I licked my paper-dry lips. "I can at least function semi-normally." I sat up and rubbed my sore neck.

"I know how apologetic you are, and I will never bring this up again, but you asked me before I walked from you who you are to me. My people call it _eteh-lafah_; roughly translated it means 'bonded one'. There is usually a ceremony of prayers and a celebration, but, well," he shrugged. I blinked and stared down at him, slightly confused.

"We're m-married?!" I squeaked weakly. He smiled and chuckled softly as he took my hand and touched the knotted bracelet.

"No, not married. Marriage is a much more complicated series of events for drell. I consider you my beloved, the one I shall remain faithful to until the end of my days. I love you."

I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, wondering for a second if the drug in his mouth could serve as a pain reliever and why I didn't think of it sooner.

_Yeah, great, Sara! Use him as a quick fix! How loving of you!_

"I love you, too," I returned.

O . . . O . . . O

I took a peek inside the pizza box to see the half-eaten cheese pie and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

_Nope_, I decided as my stomach lurched with nausea. _Still not hungry. Even for Julio's pizza._

"I owe you an apology," Miranda's voice cut through the cloud in my head and I dropped the box lid to see her standing on the other side of the bar.

"Uh huh," I nodded, eyeing her skeptically.

"It seems that I have misjudged you. I guess you are, apparently, the better woman for him."

"Wow! An apology along with an insult! You're good."

"Look," she frowned. "I'm trying to tell you that I'm sorry!"

"For what? Making me feel like I'm not good enough for Thane? Or for trying to break up our relationship?" I wasn't about to step down this time. I watched as she rolled her eyes and took a small step back from the bar.

"You don't have to be a bitch," she snorted, still trying to act superior. I grabbed my glass of water and looked over to Thane who was sitting at the windows, staring out at the streets below.

"Actually, I do. Someone has to be."

"You have no idea what we all have gone through on the Normandy! The responsibilities of being the head officer on a ship is the most stressful task I've ever had to take on!"

"Yeah, I get it," I softened my voice. "You all have suffered some, but you also have a purpose which should be viewed as a way to help the galaxy, not yourself."

"Oh, trust me, I've thought a lot about what we're about to do. Our lives are at stake, including your precious Thane," her eyes narrowed and I had to bite on my tongue before I said anything that would incite a fight, but it hurt too badly and I was in no mood to take any shit.

"It just kills you that he wants nothing to do with you, doesn't it? Everything's been pretty much handed to you on a silver platter and it kills you that for once you don't have the upper hand. Must suck to realize that perfection has lost to something as flawed as me," I felt a smug grin curl on my lips. Miranda flinched and frowned darkly as she shook her head.

"I never asked to be brought into this life, to be made some experiment-"

"But you were. Deal with it, as I've learned to deal with my pathetic existence," I tried to walk away but she blocked my path, a sneer on her lips.

"Pathetic existence? What's so pathetic about your life? You've won!"

I took a look over at Thane who was talking with Shepard and Kasumi and I suddenly felt sick and depressed.

"No, I haven't. I'm about to lose him. As much as I wish to have him remain with me he'll leave, either by returning to your realm or dying. Tell me where I've won."

She stepped away from the bar and also looked at Thane, a weak smile on her lips.

"I thought I loved him. I thought that maybe he would learn to love me. I could never give him what you can, what he truly needs."

I waited for another insult from her sharp tongue but it never came.

"You don't judge him, don't fear him, and don't look at him with a touch of loathing that some of the others do. He's a killer and he openly admits it. And you don't care. And that's what he needs; someone who can offer him trust and acceptance. I envy you because at least you're able to get his love back."

She walked away and left me feeling a little weaker and more depressed than before. I slumped against my refrigerator and tried to block the pain in my head. It hurt to think and at that moment I really didn't want to. I needed sleep to rid myself of the migraine completely. I also needed to find some peace and quiet which wasn't an option at that point. I had a feeling that the stress was only about to begin.


	21. Chapter 21

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir  
By: Nerdymum  
For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: the Sy-Fy channel, World of Warcraft games and any recognizable characters, She-Hulk, Microsoft, and Hello Kitty. The author is unaware if there is a periodical called Today's Gamer. If there is, please don't sue me.

Chapter 21: Monday (or Chaos can be Chaotic)

During the next weekend no additional squad mates had been found, despite the new message Tali sent out along the BSN and included all the major social networking sites that were linked to Mass Effect and its fans. The rewritten note listed my apartment building as the new meeting place, causing me to protest for maybe about a minute before logic and reasoning from Mary, Al, and Mordin won against my need for privacy and solitude.

My home became not just the meeting place for the squad but a sort of recreational area where there was always a card game played on my table and my television somehow stuck on the Sy-Fy channel which had the more scientific-based members of the group howling in stitches. It was never left a mess, however. In fact, thanks to Jack, who surprised me by being a closet neat-freak, my floors were always swept and the dishes were always cleaned.

"Needs to feel control over something benign in her life," Mordin told me when I asked him his opinion one night after Jack screamed at Jacob for not using a coaster. "Biotics can cause neurotic behavior in humans. Experimentation from early age made Jack feel out of control of her surroundings and what was happening to her. Refused any kind of psychotherapy when offered from Dr. Chakwas. Suppose the whole idea of being reanalyzed by Cerberus sprung the denial."

I was pretty sure he was right and I wasn't about to confront her on her neurotic behavior. She had it hard enough, I mentally reasoned.

Miranda, though she was among those who visited the apartment, kept her distance and barely spoke to me. Her host, a poncy British plastic surgeon who played video games as a way to "wind-down" after a long day, arrived on Saturday to meet everyone. She was polite enough but she sort of had the same attitude as Miranda. I didn't speak much to her, either.

I spent those two days recovering from the migraine and also trying to spend some alone time with Thane who wasn't feeling so good. He remained in my bedroom, not quite as social as he had been, with the dehumidifier on and the oxygen tank not far from his reach. It worried me to see him feeling ill again, but he never fell into a hard arrest as he did that one panic-inducing morning. I tried to remain cool but he knew I was stressed.

"Perhaps you need a few days to yourself, Siha," he suggested one afternoon. I was starting to leave him alone in the room to meditate. I turned back to see him sitting on the bed cross-legged, his wrists on his knees and his eyes closed. I held back a rude giggle as he suddenly reminded me of a Naga praying.

I looked down at my hands, at the bracelet around my wrist, and wondered if I was the one he was praying for.

"I need a bigger apartment and a few clones of myself," I tried to joke but somehow it didn't sound that funny to me.

"Your patience is monumental," his eyes opened to brilliant green shards against the black. "You deserve a peaceful solace."

I dropped my gaze to the floor and sighed a long breath. Maybe I did need a few days to myself, or at least a trip to a day spa. Then again, new age music and hot stones freaked me out.

"My patience means I'm a doormat, Thane. Other than the risk of someone hurting me I give in on people asking things of me way too quickly," I looked down at my ragged cuticles and reconsidered a trip to a spa.

"You may think that way but I see a woman who is kind and willing to help the less fortunate," he replied and closed his eyes again. "You should take the time to treat yourself away from the chaos of this place."

I shrugged absently and closed the door behind me, allowing him his peaceful solace. I had too many things to think about to even want a day of doing nothing. Even if I did I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

O . . . O . . . O

"Your co-writer is here, Sara," Al poked his head into the door and I nodded in understanding as I kept my eyes on the television. Jason was busy typing up his latest review when the door opened again and I heard him immediately stop then curse. I was about to ask what his typo tally was up to but my voice froze in my throat.

"Hey, Doll," Zach flashed a crooked, charming grin at me and my face finally screwed into a frown.

"What are you doing in my office?" I demanded when my voice finally returned. Zach snorted a laugh and shook his head.

"I'm your co-writer for the console predictions story. Didn't you get my e-mail?"

"I got an e-mail from Today's Gamer informing me that someone named 'Havoxx', two 'x's', was going to meet me for a double-report on the upcoming platforms."

Behind me Jason coughed a sarcastic laugh and rose from his seat, ready to leave the room until I shot him a pleading glare. He proceeded to sit back down, typing even noisier than before.

"Sara, Havoxx was my Troll Warrior's name from World of Warcraft. I use that as my writer's penname when I'm writing for TG," Zach informed. "Don't you remember when we used to spend hours and hours playing that game? You have a night elf mage you named Elvira. I thought it was hilarious."

"I haven't played World of Warcraft in years, Zach. Plus I've tried to forget everything we did together."

Zach flinched and took a step back, his dark chocolate eyes wide and sad.

"Yeah, I suppose I deserve that. But, we have to work together, so can we at least try to put our emotions on the side so we can get this done?"

I nodded briefly and returned to playing my game, finding that my anger made me fidget with the controller a little more. I didn't look back up at him but I knew he was smiling and I tensed up even more.

"Good. Listen, I've got a few errands to run. I'll meet you back here in about two hours."

I grunted in response, narrowed eyes locked on the screen.

"Jason," Zach snorted at my friend.

"Person I refuse to acknowledge," Jason grumbled.

"Real mature. See you later, Sara."

I didn't respond, but when the door shut I threw down my controller and growled loudly.

"Son of a fucking bitch! Why? Of all the billions of people on this stupid ass planet the gods chose him to be my co-writer?! What the hell did I do to deserve this shit?!"

"Woah, calm down, She-Hulk!" Jason came over and rubbed my shoulders. "I know it's not pleasant, but just get it done with and it'll be over before you know it. He's not my favorite either."

"Fucking Havoxx! How the hell did I forget that?!" I whined into my hands as I slapped my forehead into them.

"You need some coffee, Chicky. Let's go take a break," he offered and I gave in as I weakly followed him out the door. I wanted to run home and lock myself in my apartment.

O . . . O . . . O

For the first hour Zach and I worked professionally. I kept my eyes locked on my computer monitor as we talked about the rumors and reports that were swarming about. It seemed that things would be fine and we would finish the report in record time.

But after Jason left the office for home Zach switched gears and decided to bring up the past. And the present, apparently, when he looked up at the lithograph of Thane on my wall.

"You and that booth boy were getting pretty cozy at the convention, I heard," he mentioned in an attempt to be casual. A nervous lump began to form in the back of my throat and I dared to look up at him.

"Is that what you heard?"

Zach turned around and faced me and I could see jealousy in his eyes. For a second it felt good, even boosted my ego some, but it quickly vanished.

"That's not like you, Sara, to hook up with some random guy. At least, that's not the Sara I remember."

"For your information, we didn't just 'hook-up', Zach," I revealed which left a really bad taste in my mouth. I couldn't tell him that the "booth boy" I was getting close to was indeed a real in-the-flesh alien from another dimension nearly two hundred years in the future.

"So, you're seeing this guy, huh? Is that what it takes to turn you on anymore? Some green theatre paint and a full-body leather outfit?" he crossed his arms over his chest. My eyebrows rose on my forehead as I stared at Zach, his chiseled jaw firm as he clenched his teeth behind his lips.

"Why do you care? We ceased to be a couple five years ago because, if I'm recalling this correctly, you said you couldn't commit to anything serious. I took that as my cue to hand you back your toothbrush," I tried to refocus on our work.

"I was afraid," his voice lowered. "I was running from the truth because I was in love with you."

I shook my head in disbelief and began to laugh.

"Wow! You've been working on that for a while now, haven't you?" I tried getting the very last drop of coffee out of my cup.

"I almost got married last year. She was a great girl, sweet, beautiful, and I probably would've been happy. But I cheated on her a month before the wedding."

"You really are a commitment-phobe. Can you give me her name so I can send her a sympathy card? We can start a club!" I sneered.

"She wasn't you!" he interrupted my snide remarks and I fell silent. "Neither was the girl I slept with. None of them were ever you. I still love you, Doll."

I rose from my chair and paced over to the window, angry and bewildered and wondering if he was telling the truth.

"You hurt me, Zach. You hurt me bad. In fact, I didn't even bother with trying to date anyone because I didn't want to feel that pain again," I glared at him. "And, now, you have the balls to catch me alone and tell me that you love me?"

Zach approached and tried to place his hands on my arms, but I pulled away before his fingertips reached me.

"Sara, I'm sorry! I really am-"

"Fuck you!" I spun around to face him. "I love someone else."

"Guess I'm too late, huh?" he looked at me with sad eyes and my heart skipped for a second. There was a teeny, tiny bit of me that still missed him. Before we began dating Zach was one of my best friends. The relationship spoiled any platonic love I may have felt for him. After the break-up he moved to Chicago and I purposefully lost contact with him.

"Yeah," I nodded as I watched him approach me for a second time. "You're too late."

He brushed his hands over my shoulders and I asked myself (more like internal screams) why I wasn't moving away from him. Maybe I was afraid, maybe the miniscule bit inside that still missed Zach possessed me for a split second and I allowed his lips to cover mine. Then I felt sick.

I pushed him away and watched him stumble back, staring at him with disgust.

"You will never touch me again," I said in a voice I didn't recognize, a strong, dark sound that seemed to take over my shy, quiet persona. He stared at me with a little fear then slowly sat back down in his seat at the desk. I stood in the center of the room feeling dizzy but also empowered. I touched the bracelet and glanced up at the lithograph on the wall.

My memory suddenly became endowed with images of Thane over the past few weeks; seeing him standing in my living room that first day. The way he would smile ever-so-slightly before his lips would give way to revealing his super white teeth. How his eyes would flutter shut before he whispered my name during sex. It amazed me how I went from seeing him as an alien character from a game into a real, live, beautiful person whom I fell for so deeply. I would've traded everything in my life to be with him, to return to his time and remain by his side.

"I guess we should get back to work, right?" Zach's voice brought me back to reality. I looked back over at him and any feelings that might have been left over for him were suddenly gone. I got my closure and it felt good.

"Give me what you have on Microsoft."

O . . . O . . . O

"Hea y'are, Gorgeous," the thick Brooklyn accent of the cabbie announced at my apartment building. I looked up from my laptop, my left brow lifted skeptically. Was he being sarcastic?

_Of course, he is_, my self-hatred hissed in my brain.

I handed him the cash for my trip and climbed out of the car feeling exhausted and more stressed than ever. It was looming on seven o'clock and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep. The confrontation with Zach put me on empty for the day and the knowing of coming home to a full apartment didn't help matters.

"Hey," the cabbie shouted and I wondered if I had accidentally shorted him change. He was smiling, his eyes looking me up and down.

"You're a pretty lady. You be careful, okay? Been some reports of kids breaking inta people's places."

I nodded and smiled in thanks to him.

"I've heard that," I said and I walked into my building, heading for the stairs. I was so tired that I barely acknowledged the two strangers who were resting by them as I started up.

"So, here's the thing," a voice said behind me. I turned around to face the familiar voice's owner and I felt my eyes widen. The man hobbled towards me, bright green eyes sparkling beneath his ball cap which had the New Orleans' Saints logo on it. He flashed a sarcastic, crooked smile which I returned.

"That's my host," he pointed towards a young woman with obviously black dyed hair (white chunky stripes down the center gave her an unfortunate skunk look) who was sleeping in the corner. "And, while she may look innocent all asleep and shit, the truth is she's a lunatic. Nice and she tries to be helpful, but she's bat-shit crazy."

I stepped down to the floor level and nodded in understanding. Resting next to the sleeping girl (her age was indeterminable at that point) were two old duffel bags which looked like they had seen better days years ago.

"Jeff Moreau?" I asked as I stuck out my hand.

"The one and only," he said proudly and dipped his hat to me. "You must be the legendary Sara Davis."

"Uh, l-legendary?" I frowned. Joker looked back down at the girl and sighed.

"Yeah, a word of caution, she's in love with you."

"Pardon?" I flinched back after the brief handshake.

"You're a magazine writer, right? That Gamers' Haven rag, she's got tons of copies strung all over the place. Drives her room-mates insane when she starts talking about you. It's all 'Sara Davis says this' and 'Sara Davis says that'. She has a picture of you with hearts drawn all around it plastered to her mirror."

"Uh-huh," I droned as I glanced back down at her. She was wearing jeans that were too tight for her zaftig figure and a Hello Kitty tee-shirt.

"I'm sure you're a nice person. You seem that way to me on first impressions, and you look like it," Joker shrugged.

"I, uh, try to be," I reached down and picked up one of the duffel bags. It had a very distinct "fast food" smell about it and it made me want to rush to the Laundromat down in the basement.

"She's a nice girl, don't get me wrong. But, you'll need to sleep with one eye open. Just in case she tries to crawl in bed with you. So, who are you hosting?" he smiled.

I was speechless for a moment and looked away from the girl, who was snoring loudly against the wall, to Joker.

"Uh, J-jack is staying with me. Her host ended up being a class-A douchebag. And Thane is my original guest," I reported.

"Tell him to sleep with one eye open, too. She's got a thing for him apparently."

I made a mental note to buy a lock and put it on my bedroom door.

"I guess we'll need to wake her up so we can get you upstairs. My apartment is the top floor. How long have you been waiting? You could've just gone on up."

Joker sighed and shifted nervously on his feet.

"About three hours. I told her that it was probably okay, since someone let us into the building. She said she wanted to meet you first and then she fell asleep. That was about an hour ago."

I cautiously walked over to the slumbering girl, stooped down and got a closer look at her. A line of drool began to slide out the corner of her mouth as she snored again.

"Hello?" I gently shook her shoulder. One darkly smudged eye opened followed by the other which resulted in a low, odd, whining noise to escape her throat.

"It's, it's, is it really you?" she sat up, her jaw slacked open. She didn't bother to wipe the saliva from her chin which made me quickly recall Joker's warning of her sanity.

"I think so," I replied dryly. "And you are?"

"Penelope," she slid up the wall clumsily, still staring at me as if I were a mythological creature. "I'm a huge fan!"

"I've heard," I glanced back at Joker.

"Really?!" she squealed. "From who?" A massive smile beamed on her face.

Oh, boy! She's a special one, I thought. I sighed wearily and picked up the second duffel bag, leading the two up the stairs.

"Come on. You'll want to meet up with the others, Jeff."


	22. Chapter 22

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Advil and Skrillex. The author would like to apologize to all enthusiastic fangirls (and guys, too) for the character of Penelope. Sorry, but it's funny to her.

Chapter 22: Monday Continuing (or How to Freak Out A Gamer Girl In Her Own Home)

As the door opened to my apartment several pairs of eyes all focused on the entrance and was followed by loud applause of happiness for seeing Joker behind me. Joker hobbled into the room to be met by hugs and handshakes from the squad. Shepard's voice carried over the crowd, Tali bounced with excitement, and Mordin began his game of "Twenty Extremely Fast-paced Questions" while I skulked to the kitchen to hide.

"Oh my God, oh my God! It's Mordin, and Tali, and Garrus, and wow! You have them all in your house!" Penelope's high-pitched voice above my bar caused me to flinch.

"And a partridge in a pear tree," I replied dryly as I swallowed a couple Advil.

"I don't get it," she cocked her head to the side and gave me the ultimate "I'm confused" look. I decided to not go into the joke further. I turned to look at Jason who was also in my apartment and I gave him a worried look as I motioned over to the new girl among us. Jason had rushed to my home as soon as I told him that things with Zach took a turn for the wildly inappropriate.

"Made a new friend?" he grinned.

"I'll let you know," I grumbled.

Two warm hands lifted my hair off my neck to allow the soft lips access to the skin just beneath and I smiled. If anything good came out of the day it was the fact that Thane would be there to add some comfort and calm to the whirlpool that was quickly becoming my life. I placed a hand over his and sighed as I leaned back into his arms.

"Hey, babe."

The low, deep purr that came from his chest vibrated through me, relaxing the muscles in my stiff back immediately. I was about to ask him how he was feeling when two dark kohl-smudged eyes peeked over his shoulder, unblinking, announcing that Penelope had spotted the drell. It was then that my tired brain remembered that she was a Thane fangirl.

I needed to warn him, and fast!

"W-wo-hoa!" she gasped loudly and another strange, whiny noise hissed between her teeth. "Oh, oh, sweet Kalahira! It's Thane!"

I watched as his eyes, once half-way closed, flared wide open and blinked both sets of lids rapidly before he turned around to meet her.

"I am. And you are?" arms folded down the length of his long back as he stood tall before her. Penelope stumbled forward, her face flushed a brilliant scarlet as she continued to sputter unintelligibly.

"In love!" she gushed and pulled awkwardly on the hem of her tee-shirt.

"Mm-hmm!" Jason grinned devilishly at me while I rolled my eyes. Thane, too composed and too well mannered to be sarcastic, simply bowed politely to her in greeting.

"A pleasure to meet you, Enlove," he let his lips twitch into a faint smile and I nearly sprayed water out my nose when I realized he was joking again.

"Siha? Are you well?" he asked as I coughed on the water that had slipped down my trachea. I looked up at him through my blurred eyes and cleared my throat.

"Never better!" I sputtered weakly. Penelope twitched slightly in my peripheral vision and then looked up at Thane with disappointment.

"He, he called you a Siha?"

"Ha!" Jack barked a laugh, signaling that she had been listening in on the conversation. "That's not all he calls her!"

I watched as Penelope began to slump slowly like a bowl of warming pudding, then sighed a long, whimpering breath. She picked at her chewed nails, half-painted black with sharpie ink and the other half bright red on the exposed beds from nervous chomping. I was starting to wonder just how much Joker stretched the truth about her being crazy; if he even elaborated at all.

"Oh. Of course, he would fall in love with you. I mean, you're, like, the fucking coolest chick ever," her blue eyes lifted back up to me and a weird grimacing half smile pulled on her lips. "Can I call you Siha?"

I felt my eyes bulge from the sockets and I slowly put down my glass before it fell and shattered on the floor.

"I'm just gonna go over here, next to my knife block," my voice fell into a worried whisper.

"So, where were you, Jeff?" Jason changed the subject as Joker sat next to him at the bar. I turned my attention to that conversation, also interested in where the pilot was staying.

"New Orleans," he pointed to the hat on his head. "Kinda nice. Got to see Mardi Gras which was an experience I'm not sure will ever be removed from my brain," he snorted a laugh.

"I'll bet," I coughed again, still feeling water stuck in my windpipe.

"How did you come to New York City?" Thane asked and began rubbing my spine which was surprisingly helpful to both my sore back and my sore lungs.

"A bus. We borrowed some money from her room mates and bought a couple of tickets. We just got into town."

My inner charity queen kicked in and I pointed towards the guest bathroom, offering him a chance to freshen up. Joker nodded and smiled with humility.

"Hey, thanks. That's really nice of you. We're also trying to find a cheap hotel to stay in before we go back. I'm not sure where we're gonna find one, though. Most of the places she looked up were pretty pricey, even the low-end motel joints."

"I have some room," Jason offered. "If you don't mind a bunch of upholstery samples scattered around you."

"Ah, I don't want to impose,"

"Uh, Jeff," Penelope spoke up, her head hung low with obvious shame, "we're broke. I spent all our money on a few tee-shirts before we got on the bus."

"Figured as much. Great thinking!" he snapped sarcastically as he gave her a "thumbs up".

"Well, I'll order some take-out," I offered as I opened my iPhone. I was too tired to cook and I knew someone would eat it. In all honesty, I wanted to run back to bed but being the southern gal I am I decided to play hostess and put my exhausted state on the side for courtesy's sake.

About an hour passed since his arrival and Joker seemed to melt into the rest of the squad. I took that as my opportunity to retreat to my room once the food had been served among the group. My head was spinning and the pain killer didn't do much to help the headache. I flopped onto my bed, breathing in the odd yet comforting combination of fresh detergent and Thane's rich spice. I would've gladly given away my savings for a moment of silence and privacy. I pined for it, for a few hours of alone time to unwind and breathe.

"I understand you had a difficult day," Thane entered the room and crawled onto the bed. I simply grunted in response, not sure if I wanted to go into details. I had told him the story of Zach, how he hurt me and how I decided not to enter the dating scene since the break-up. But, could I tell Thane, who I realized I adored and loved more than any man I ever known, that I nearly let my ex kiss me? I was disgusted with myself and mentally drained from the craziness of the day.

"What can I do to help you, Siha?" he offered and I dropped to his lap, letting my forehead fall to his knee.

"How about a sexy strip-tease to Skrillex?" I laughed.

"I would if it pleases you, only I don't know what a Skrillex is," I heard the faint chuckle in his voice and I laughed harder.

"I'm joking, babe," I turned around to look at him, lifting a hand to caress his frill. "Although, if you're up to it," I shrugged. A cheeky grin crossed his mouth as he brushed his bottom lip across my wrist.

"Am I under the correct assumption that you will be offering paper credits depending on how well my dance stimulates you?"

We both laughed and kissed and before long I found myself under him and wearing only my underwear.

"Aww," a disappointed voice sounded from my bathroom and we bolted up from the mattress to see Penelope, wearing only a towel, staring at us with sad eyes. She must've used my shower to clean up and I didn't realize it. "I was hoping you'd do the strip-tease."

I grabbed my pillow, then my comforter, and hid in fear that she saw too much. Thane shot her a cold glare and grabbed the other pillow to place it over his groin.

"What the fuck?!" I sputtered in both surprise and anger. "Why are you in my room?!" I demanded when I finally found the strength to speak.

"I wanted to use your shower," she took a step closer and the comforter flew up to my chin. "The other one didn't have the nice shower head like this one does. And I wanted to see your room."

"Well, you've seen it, now go!" the blanket covered my nose. Much to my utter shock, she approached us and hopped onto the bed, her face mere inches away from Thane.

"Will you kiss me?" she whispered and leaned forward. My jaw dropped open and I fought to reach over and rip out her hair.

"Why would you ask such a thing from me?" his brow lowered over his dark eyes. A weird sort of giggling snort came from my intruder.

"Because I want to see if I can get high off of you. And I just think you're the hottest thing ever!"

I watched as he leaned closer, causing her to slam her eyes shut, but he didn't move in any more.

"I think you should leave, Penelope," he said with a calm that I could never achieve in that moment. She flinched and regarded him with a look of astonishment.

"So, you're not going to kiss me?"

I dropped my head completely under my cover, one finger pointing to the door.

"Will you please leave my room?" I winced. I heard her sigh loudly and move away from the bed.

"I need my clothes-"

"Get them and get the hell out of here!" I snapped. The sound of a zipper being pulled across a duffel bag and footsteps towards the exit made me breathe in relief. When the door closed I finally pulled my head out from under the comforter. I didn't know if I should scream, or cry, or laugh hysterically. I felt like I was going insane.

"Shall I hand you your ball bat, Siha?" Thane kissed my tensed shoulder.

"Actually, if you could just hit me over the head with it until I get amnesia I would be much obliged," I grumbled as I flopped onto my pillow.

I assumed that the crowd left shortly for the noise began to die down. I thought I would fall to sleep quickly but with all the frustrations and the sudden anger and shock from Penelope's surprise visit I lay awake for several hours. The stress of a full apartment, my stupid-ass ex hitting on me, and quickly losing time with Thane was starting to fray on my conscience.

I turned to my left to watch him sleep. His eyelids fluttered slightly as he dreamed and I wondered what he did dream about. Were they memories of happier moments in his past? Did he experience his assassinations again? Was Irikah in his mind or was it me?

In the dark I stared down at the bracelet, traced the knots along the line and I wondered if he ever did anything like this for her. She probably had a rope a mile long, full of microscopic knots. I may have been Thane's Siha, but she was a goddess. She had to have been a much better woman than me. She stopped him from killing a stranger!

I doubted I ever had the guts to put my life on the line like that. Despite my yearly contributions to children's charities, donating a few hundred dollars to the nearest soup kitchen for Christmas, and offering to let a bunch of lost aliens and humans stay in my home I wasn't that great of a person. I wouldn't be canonized into a saint, no one would name a hospital wing after me, and I most certainly wouldn't be the namesake for children being baptized.

Irikah would be waiting for him across the Sea and Thane would fall into her arms in his eternal rest. I would be there on the sidelines, lost in limbo to watch their happiness. I recalled what Kasumi said to me the day I met her. My life was like a good tragic story to her. It shook me how true that was turning out to be.


	23. Chapter 23

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Agent Kay (MIB), Trader Joe's, Evian water, Tiffany and Co. Jewelers, and Oreo cookies. The following chapter has a large portion of the author's head-canon about drell. It is not meant to copy anyone else's theories or to begin epic fandom arguments. The author would also like to point out that she thinks about drell maybe too much in her spare time.

Chapter 23: Friday

The handbag on my shoulder slipped down my arm and landed with a dull thump onto the floor. The door to my refrigerator was wide open, completely empty of food, and my kitchen was an absolute mess. The perpetrator sat in the middle of the floor with an empty ice cream carton in one meaty three-fingered fist, staring at it sadly.

"Grunt!" I accosted; my hands firm on my hips as I shook my head. The young krogan tossed the carton across the room and began licking his fingers clean.

"You humans and your poor excuses for food," he rumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. I was in shock! I turned on my heels, speechless to the situation, and rushed to my bedroom. I kicked off the red stilettos and dove into my closet in search of my trusty Chuck Taylors. I was going to need more appropriate footwear if I was to go shopping. Thane looked up from his reading to watch me fumble and struggle to shove my right shoe onto my foot.

"I am going to rent a car, fill up the tank, and drive until it's empty!" I growled as I flopped onto the bed.

"Siha, is everything alright?" he asked with concern. I stood back up, hopping as I tied the other shoe.

"Grunt ate my kitchen!" I exclaimed. He changed his concerned expression to one of confusion and worry.

"Not literally, but he ate everything bit of food in my home and now I have to go grocery shopping which I'm really not thrilled about," I grabbed a scarf and my wool pea coat from the closet. He stood up, pin-straight, and folded his hands behind his back.

"If that is the case, you may need some help bringing your purchases back." I watched as his eyes went all big and sparkly as his brow ridges rose on his forehead. I choked on a bubble of laughter and smiled a little.

_He's begging to go with me! Is it wrong that I think he's adorable?_

"Fine," I gave in to the puppy eyes. "Get that hoodie you wore when we went after Grunt and Mordin. And put on those shades just in case."

A faint grin tugged on his lips as he slipped into the closet to find his sweatshirt. I continued to grumble and groan as he threw on the garment with its deep shadowing hood.

"That's all Ah need, is for Tommy Lee Jones to come knockin' oh mah door with a deneuralizer in his hand! 'Ma'am, do you know what this is?'" I mimicked a man's voice as I threw the scarf around my neck. "Why yes, Agent Kay, Ah sure do! You're about to make me forget Ah was ever in love!"

My rant was quickly ended when Thane lifted my chin and placed a silencing kiss on my lips.

_"Fe-arranathe,_ Siha," he whispered.

"What does that mean?" I blushed, wondering what sexy little thing he just said to me.

"Shut up."

I blinked in surprise and followed him out the bedroom door. On the way through the living room Jack peered down over the bar and began shaking her head.

"Goddamn krogan!" she snorted then retreated to her room. Calmly, Thane approached the youth, still moping on the floor and huffed a short, but loud growl of displeasure at him. Grunt in turn bared his sharp, jagged teeth, challenging the drell. But as soon as the face-off began it quickly ended as Thane's eyes narrowed in warning. Grunt may have been a big mass of muscles and power but Thane was older, wiser, and also much, much more experienced in the battlefield. The krogan dropped his pale blue eyes down in respect and relented. Thane snorted again, a strange, almost primitive noise.

_"Bah-huunrrakka!_" he growled as he stepped away. Grunt nodded slowly and stood up, grabbing the ice cream carton he launched away from himself. I was about to open the door when Jack reappeared, hat on her head and coat slung over her shoulders, as she pushed through.

"I am NOT staying here to fight over the last Oreo with that big baby! Mordin can watch him!"

I shook my head to myself and hefted my handbag back onto my shoulder as I locked my door.

_So much for some private time with Thane_, I thought sullenly. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we started down the stairs, chasing after Jack.

"What did you say to him?" I asked. "That didn't sound like your native language."

"I told him to clean his mess," I watched his mouth move from beneath the shadows of the hood. "If he has any respect for you he will have finished before we return."

"What? Lover boy never told you he's the squad's resident interpreter?" Jack snickered.

"No. The subject never came up until now," I toned down the sarcasm in my voice despite the irritation I was feeling.

"It wasn't Drell, or whatever the hell his traditional language is. Kahjean Something-Something. Something I can't fucking pronounce," she continued to teach. "Humans lack the flanging in our voices and drell, who have an extra set of vocal chords, can use that as a form of communication, or so I've been told. Sort of like bird-calls or marine animal sonar. And if he would drop the whole humanized talking shit you might actually get to hear what his language REALLY sounds like."

I looked up at him with sheer fascination.

"Really?"

"Drell have two primary languages we speak," he began to explain. "The most prominent is the common vernacular which most other species can learn. It was developed when we became a part of the galactic community. The other, which is reserved to use among other drell, is a bit more complex. What I had taught to you is the common, easier tongue."

"Would you say something in the other language for me?"

Thane looked around at the few people on the sidewalks, hesitant at first, but then nodded. I watched as his throat began to puff slightly, a low rumbling beginning to rise from his chest, flowing out of his mouth in a song-like noise. It was beautiful, haunting, and unable to describe in any way. The words were controlled purrs and chirps along with actual spoken sounds in the mix. In an odd and alien way it fit him.

"Wow!" I whispered and smiled. "It's beautiful! What did you say?"

He slid his hand into mine and pulled me closer, dark eyes sparkling. I awaited some sort of romantic, sweet one-liner.

"I said that Jack should trade in her caustic attitude and become a teacher," he grinned. Jack's middle finger was her answer.

"So, then, just how many languages can you speak?" I asked.

His freed fingers quickly moved as he did a quick tally before he answered.

"Fifty-four, if I'm not including the different dialects within several languages. Other than Mordin and Samara, I am the most proficient speaker among the squad. Mordin can be difficult to follow and Samara is not fond of speaking anything more than Thessian. Therefore I volunteer oftentimes to act as translator if needed."

"What was it you were speaking to Grunt?"

"Modern-Clan Krogan. Okeer used it while he was developing the tank bred experiments in his labs. A difficult language, certainly not one of my favorites as it tends to be a bit guttural."

"I take it you need to know all this because of your career?"

"Precisely. Several clients in my past didn't like to use translators. In order to communicate I had to learn their language."

Luckily, the trip to the Trader Joe's wasn't as painful as I was assuming and no one suspected a thing different of Thane. Until we began to check out. The cashier kept glancing up as she ran the items over her scanner, a distrusting look on her face. After a few minutes I was starting to show my frustration but kept my mouth shut. Jack, however, didn't.

"Hey!" she snapped her fingers in the woman's face and scowled darkly at her. "You wanna stare at someone stare at me!"

The cashier blinked and looked away in embarrassment, cheeks flushed a bright red.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, slightly rude tone in her voice.

"He has a skin disorder! What!?" Jack barked defensively. The woman didn't say another word for the remainder of our time there. As we started back up the street she stayed a little closer to us.

"Thank you, Jack," Thane bowed his head. Jack's placid expression was quickly replaced by a frown.

"Yeah, yeah. You owe me, Dragon Boy!"

O . . . O . . . O

Zaeed Massani was exactly as you would think he would be; brash, arrogant, grizzled, and a master in the art of bullshit. He was standing on the stoop outside my apartment building chewing on an unlit cigar and watching the traffic pass by on the streets. I actually wasn't sure it was really him or just some random guy who happened to look an awful lot like him. Until he spoke up and his scratchy Cockney accent assured me.

"About a month ago I was on the Normandy heading for the Omega 4 relay, ready to shoot me a mess of Collectors when that idiot pilot and his AI girlfriend hit some kind of turbulence. I opened me eyes after that bloody bright white light and I knew that something fucked up just happened. Been trying to get here after I read some note on one of those stupid social sites, and my host's wife said that if I didn't get me arse up here she'd shoot me herself!" he chuckled. "Probably didn't help that I called her sexy."

A quick huff exited Thane's nose and he hefted the grocery bags higher into his arms. Jack, on the other hand, merely laughed quietly at the story. A flirty twinkle lit Zaeed's eyes as he looked the rogue up and down.

"Well, well, girly. They got ya into some clothing, I see," he teased.

"Didn't really have a choice," she snorted as she handed him her bags. "We just had to crash land on Earth during the fucking winter."

"How about we all talk upstairs, before my arms break of and Grunt breaks my home" I nodded to the bags in my arms. Thane had already made it to the doors, leaning one open. Zaeed winked and waved a chivalrous hand towards me.

"Ladies first," he smiled. I sighed and walked into the building, followed by Jack, Zaeed, and finally Thane.

And then it happened. After not seeing her in ages Stephanie appeared directly in my path. I bit down on my tongue to keep my cursing from not spewing from my mouth and wore my best fake smile for what was about to happen.

"Sara, dahhhhling!" she crooned. Princess began snarling and barking upon immediately spotting me. I took a quick, worried look over at Thane, suddenly relieved he took to hiding his mouth and chin behind the bags. His green hands, however, were exposed. I wondered if I could get away with saying they were gloves if she did dare to ask.

"Hello, Stephanie," I replied, my eyes locked on the little white bitch in her arms. Princess lunged towards me, teeth bared and drool coating her snowy mustache.

"Who are your friends?" she smiled suggestively to Zaeed and I was repulsed when he actually smiled back.

"Name's Massani, madam. And you are?" he reached for her hand to kiss it. Stephanie began to blush and giggle like a young girl, nearly dropping the dog to the floor.

"I'm Stephanie Fallbrook," she batted her eyes. My brow rose when I heard her use her maiden name.

"A pleasure to meet such a beautiful young lady," the old merc continued to flirt. Jack rolled her eye, grabbed the bags Zaeed had placed on the floor, and began up the stairs, stomping and mumbling curses under her breath.

"Sara, I had no idea you had so many charming friends," Stephanie gushed, eyes still fluttering at Zaeed.

"Yeah, neither did I," I sighed and was about to follow Jack when Stephanie bent down and placed Princess on the floor. She had failed to put the pooch on a leash and the first thing the wretched creature did was to rush towards me, spitting and snarling as she charged. I looked down at my attacker, whites showing around the dark, insane eyes. I knew that the perfectly groomed demon was about to bite me and I tried to prepare myself for the pain.

I never knew why Princess hated me so much. Any normal pet quickly became my friend upon the impact of a friendly scratch behind the ears or a gentle, kind word which usually elicited a wagging tail or a feline purr. But Princess was the exception to every animal rule. She hated everyone but for Stephanie who let her wear Tiffany diamond bracelets around her neck as collars and offered Evian water. No one in the building had any affection for the beast. Even the sweet, grandmotherly lady on the second floor avoided contact with the cur.

In slow motion, I watched her rush to me and with the time I had left I quickly recalled the name of a good lawyer, hating the idea that I would have to send someone knocking on Stephanie's door to serve her papers. But in a flash, before I even had a chance to blink, Thane had stepped in front of me, blocking the dog's approach. He whipped the hood from his head, tore the glasses from his eyes, and crouched down to block Princess from my ankles. To everyone's shock the drell sucked in his breath, allowed his throat to collapse, and forced his frill to flare from his cheeks. A haunting hiss slipped from his bared teeth. Princess skidded to a halt and immediately pissed on the granite tiles as she yelped in absolute fear.

Stephanie pulled her hands up to her dropped jaw and stared at Thane in disbelief. The color had gone from her face and her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull. A slow, drawn-in gasp was the only sound over Princess's whines. Thane stood back up and replaced the hood over his head, throat and frill back to normal. My nerves made my guts swarm uncomfortably and I knew I had a lot to explain to my nosy neighbor who was now an involuntary member of the group.

"Stephanie," I began, swallowing the lump in my throat, "we need to talk."


	24. Chapter 24

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: All-Clad, Assassin's Creed and Ubisoft, Need for Speed gaming series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Pandora music, and Monopoly board games. The author has never been to the Hamptons, but she hears it's very nice.

Chapter 24: Friday Continued

"You weren't lying, then, were you?" Stephanie glanced over at Thane who was gently petting Princess as she sat in his lap, completely docile and submissive. I had explained the long story to her as I began to finish cleaning the last bits of Grunt's mess. He didn't do too bad of a job and Thane even gave him a word of praise. After he helped Jack put away the groceries he sat in his favorite corner, doll cradled in one elbow, as he munched on a box of ginger snaps.

I shook my head and smiled weakly. It took her several minutes to calm down after she received the shock of seeing not just one alien in my presence but three altogether. Mordin sat down a cup of tea before her as he quickly rattled off a long explanation on how chamomile could be seen as a natural sedative and calming agent for the anxiety-stricken. Stephanie, after she found her breathing had returned to normal, smiled in thanks.

"No, I wasn't."

"Then, that Friday morning, when you came down the stairs with him and the other gentleman, weren't you afraid someone would see him? Someone from the government?" she whispered the last question.

"We were on our way to a convention where I was a representative for the magazine I work for. Thane was a sort of, erm, acting as a professional model for one of the more popular games on the market. No one would've thought of him as an actual alien."

She sighed wearily and sipped again from her mug, staring at the Wonder Woman logo on the front.

"This has to be the second strangest thing I have ever witnessed in my life!"

"Only the second?" I snickered. A bright, cheerful, practiced chirp came from her as she began to laugh.

"Sara, darling, you think your life is a strange one because you're a woman who enjoys these video games and science fiction movies? The life of a socialite is beyond anything you would ever think as weird! The competitive edge some families have, the way the wives will act like the best of friends to your face but just as soon as stab you in the back once you turn around. The utter hatred and envy; it's actually disgusting how you can become such a horrible person in such a short span of time. I actually thought I liked that lifestyle. Until I caught Richard in bed with his stock broker's wife. I never wanted the divorce, but I wasn't about to live the life that some of the other wives allowed.

"You're a smart woman. You live the way you want and you have no excuses. It's admirable, really," she smiled. It was in that moment I realized that Stephanie may have been insufferable and a bit of a menace to me but she wasn't a horrible person. In fact, in her own way, she was always trying to be friendly and courteous.

"Thanks," I smiled weakly.

Just then the call-button buzzed to announce the arrival of several more squad mates, including Jason, George, Penelope, Mary, and Al. I braced myself for the latest Penelope invasion.

"How many more aliens will there be?" Stephanie asked then blushed profusely in apology to Thane. "Is that offensive to you?"

"Not necessarily," he replied as he watched the dog snooze on his legs.

"Correct terminology often heard from humans, politician and more civil peoples especially, is xenos. Derived from an ancient Earthen language, Latin, pretty sure, to mean foreign or alien," Mordin explained as he continued to stare at the laptop monitor. "Recent human studies of other sentient species have stemmed new careers: xenobiology, xenosociology, xenopsychiatry-"

"Thanks for the lesson, Professor," Jack cut him off. "Two more are coming. And two more are missing." Stephanie nodded quickly and tried to smile politely.

There was a loud rapping at my door and before I could answer it Jack had rushed over, peeked out the peephole, and decided to let in my company.

_That used to be my door, and I used to be able to answer it,_ I thought darkly.

The rest of the squad was happy to see Zaeed had made it to my apartment. It was a moderately sized studio area which took up the majority of the top floor of my building but it quickly became cramped and very loud. Princess awoke with a start and huddled against Thane's chest. I had to end up introducing my neighbor to those she'd not met, including Miranda who I was not happy about seeing.

"Oh, what a sweet little dog!" she cooed at the animal. In almost perfect timing, Princess bared her doggy teeth and began growling her doggy warning. The Maltese yapped loudly and snapped her jaws at the woman's outstretched hand, causing Miranda to instantly recoil and frown.

"Ai!" Thane scolded the pup by gently tapping her shoulder and Princess dropped meekly down to this thighs. I had to place my hand over my smiling mouth in order to hide the satisfaction I was feeling at that second.

"Naughty Princess!" Stephanie scolded as she shook her finger at her pet.

_Yeah, naughty Princess! Where the hell were you when I first met Ms. Perfect Lawson?_

With my iPod stuck on Pandora's Big Band channel and take-out consisting of sushi and Thai cuisine being distributed it seemed that a party was about to take place. Part of the squad chatted amongst each other while some dug out old board games and even tried their luck at playing Assassin's Creed II (namely Jacob and Kasumi who had been flirting mercilessly with each other).

I got up to grab myself a small drink of cognac, having the feeling I was going to need something to help me relax. Penelope, who had wriggled herself between Garrus and Thane at the table, shot me cold glares each time I glanced back at her.

"I need a vacation," I muttered to myself as I took a sip of the rich drink. The warm, smoky taste of the brandy melted into my tongue, warming my mouth and throat.

"Anyplace special?" Stephanie, who was helping to serve food and drinks, asked. I was shocked at just how kind and helpful she ended up being, which also led to a deep guilt for viewing her in such a poor light.

"Anywhere that isn't my apartment," I dropped my sight from Penelope who once again glowered darkly as she scooted her chair closer to Thane. I fought the urge to growl at her, silently reasoning that Thane was a big boy and could very easily take care of himself.

"I have a cottage up in the Hamptons I go to in the summertime. Part of the settlement between Richard and me. He didn't want to give up his one-hundred-thousand-dollar supercar. So, I took the vacation home instead," she smiled proudly. "Newly refurbished kitchen, hardwood floors, Italian leather furniture; would you like to borrow it for a weekend?"

"Oh, um, I-I'm not sure I can afford to rent a cottage in the Hamptons for the weekend," I flushed with embarrassment. Technically, if I dipped into my savings, I could. But the Hamptons wasn't really the type of place I had in mind when I thought about spending time away from my domestic life. The thought of waspy, wealthy snobs in designer resort wear sailing in their gleaming boats didn't really appeal to me. And I refused to speak to any woman who went by the name of Muffy, Buffy, or Sweetums (unless the Buffy just happen to be a vampire slayer).

"Sara, darling, I said borrow, not rent," she handed me a plate of pad thai with a smile. "It's right on the beach, too. If you go up now you won't have any neighbors to bother you. They're all too cold-blooded to ever step foot on the sand unless the calendar reads May 20th and beyond.

"Take your handsome 'friend' who seems to have made my dog fall in love with him. He looks like he's aching to get you alone," she winked.

"Yeah, he and I, we, uh, we do need to get some time together," I shrugged and shoved a bite of noodles into my mouth.

"Then it's settled. I'll call my housekeeper and have her go up next Thursday to get it cleaned up for you. Spend a few days there, unwind and enjoy each other. I only ask one thing as payment, though."

I stopped midbite and wondered just what "payment" she meant.

"Lamb chops, darling. I can smell them every time you make them and I am DYING to try them."

Happily, I agreed to fix her the dinner for allowing me to invade her vacation home.

I looked over my shoulder moments later to watch Jacob navigate Ezio into stealing a gondola when Thane, who still had Princess in his arms, stopped to watch the gameplay. His brow furrowed in thought as he gently scratched behind the relaxed pooch's left ear.

"This is a game based on an assassin?" he spoke up over Jacob's laughing. Jacob and Kasumi looked up at the drell and nodded.

"Apparently. Why?" Jacob asked with a snort.

Oh, no, I thought, already knowing where this was going. A few more squad mates also stopped what they were doing to listen to Thane tear Ubisoft's developers a new one.

"His outfit is completely ludicrous for his career: it is too heavy and no assassin in their right mind would ever wear anything that would make them easy to spot, especially at night. The jacket is bulky and the red and white coloring makes him an easy target. The hood would do nothing but obscure his peripheral vision. An assassin must be able to blend into the background, capable of hiding in the shadows, and escape without ever being seen. Also, the blades he keeps at his wrists would deter him from using his arms with much proficiency. If he wants to carry such weapons appropriate places would either be at his shoulders, waist, or lower legs."

I couldn't hold it in much longer and I burst out laughing. Jason and Al gave the drell a standing ovation while Mary nodded in agreement. Jacob shrugged and continued to play the game.

"How would he know all of that?" Stephanie asked. I felt a proud smirk cross my face and I swallowed the last drink of cognac from my glass.

"Thane's an assassin."

My neighbor's face faded from a pink blush to pale white.

"Oh," she whispered.

O . . . O . . . O

A hand was slapped before me on the bar and I nearly dropped the can of soda in my hands. When I looked up Penelope was hunched over the bar top, shooting daggers at me. I took a quick glance around the room to see what everyone's status was (and to look for a scapegoat should I need it). A card game was starting at the table, Assassin's Creed had been traded for Need for Speed, and a very serious round of Monopoly continued on the floor between where an argument began over the "free parking pot" rule.

"Can I help you?" I asked the irritated-looking girl before me.

"I want to know how you did it!" she snapped. I took another quick look over my shoulder, quickly estimating just how many steps I would need to take to reach a skillet heavy enough to knock a crazy fangirl unconscious.

"How I did what?"

"You know what!" she snorted with disgust.

_Two steps back towards the left, reach up, and I can easily grab my sauté pan_, I guessed.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand-"

"Thane!" she barked loudly and several pairs of eyes, including my lover's, focused on me and my apparent rival. I immediately shrank back, doing another quick evaluation of where my All-Clad cookware hung on the rack above my counter top.

"Penelope, I have no freakin' clue what the hell you're talkin' about," I lowered my voice as I changed my surprised expression to one of impatience.

"You made him fall in love with you. You totally pulled a full-blown paramour on him and I want to know how you did it," she pouted out her bottom lip and crossed her arms over her chest. I rubbed my head wearily, finally tired of her ignorance.

"Ah wanna tell you somethin' right now, girl!" I began shaking a finger at her nose. "This ain't no game, okay? These are real people, tryin' to find a way to get back home! Ah didn't plan on any of this happenin' and Ah certainly had no intention of mackin' it with Thane for the hell of it!" my quiet tone began to rise with my anger. I felt the need to be defensive and it was unfortunate that she happen to be in my line of fire. I continued to vent my frustrations.

"Ah want ya to take a good, long, realistic look at him, alright? He really is dyin' from an incurable disease; one I've had the displeasure of watchin' him suffer with! Do you actually think Ah like seein' him struggle to breathe? It hurts me!"

I watched her shrink away as my voice carried over the crowd in my apartment. All activity had stopped and everyone in the room was watching me yell at the poor girl. I wiped the tears that had fallen from my eyes and a surge of embarrassment from the outrage seeped into me like a cold slime in my blood.

"And now here Ah am, makin' an utter ass of myself, so thanks for that." I crossed my arms over my abdomen and shrank against the refrigerator.

The silence in the room was nearly painful. Thane stood from his seat at the wall o' windows and calmly cleared his throat.

"I think anyone who is not currently residing here should leave," his soft voice carried across the room. And just like that everyone but for Jack, Grunt, and Mordin began to shuffle out of my home without a single word of protest. Jack retreated for her room while Mordin kept his attention on the laptop and on Grunt who had fallen asleep in his corner. Thane approached me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I couldn't look at him, however. I was ashamed of myself for letting my emotions take over.

"Siha," he whispered. I shook my head and remained silent as another wave of tears dribbled down my face.

"Come with me," he took my hand and led me back into the bedroom. I slowly sank onto the bed and finally looked at him as he sat next to me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"For what?" he asked as he gently dried my eyes.

"For losing my temper. Things have been getting so tense lately," I was pulled back to rest my head on his chest. The rise and fall of his breathing, though a bit labored that night, lulled me into a calm.

"I miss you; miss being alone with you, I mean," I admitted. I felt his lips brush over the top of my head and his arms tighten around me.

"I shall not chastise you for the stress you are trying not to show. You've certainly been tolerant of the rush of activity around you and your home lately. Perhaps even a little too tolerant," I heard a faint chuckle in his voice. "And I miss being alone with you as well, my love."

I told him about Stephanie's offer to let us use her beach-side cottage the next weekend and I heard him sigh with contentment.

"I think it is well deserved for you."

I pushed myself up to give him a "thank you" kiss when I realized he had fell asleep. I smiled and lay back down.

"You deserve it, too, babe," I whispered and, shortly after, fell asleep as well.


	25. Chapter 25

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Hertz car rentals, Nissan automobile company, and Godzilla. Please, enjoy this installment of fangirl silliness!

Chapter 25: Thursday into Friday (or "V-A-C-A-TION!")

Despite his somewhat crude behavior at times Joker was actually very sweet and spoke kindly of those he considered his friends. I found this out on the Thursday before my weekend getaway when he showed up at the office. At first I thought he came by to talk to Jason, but when he flopped down in one of our gaming chairs and slid across the carpet to stop at my desk I assumed wrong.

I stopped typing to look over at him, a sparkling mischief reflecting deep inside his green eyes.

"'Sup, Shorty?" he grinned.

"What do you want, Jeff?" I asked as I watched him begin to snoop through my vast and varied collection of pens, pencils, and markers.

"You look like someone who would like some company on the way to this rental place. And I look like someone who is ready to kill Penelope if I don't get at least ten miles away from her ass."

Jason immediately perked up, his eyes wide with fright.

"Wait, is she alone?" he asked in a worried tone.

"Naw, Zaeed's there. He threatened to put her in a choke-hold if she tried anything stupid. He promised George.

"So, would you care for some company, oh great and powerful Assassin Whisperer?" He grinned wider and I knew I had no choice but to let Jeff accompany me on my way to Hertz. I sighed wearily through my nose, took my pink pom-pom pen away from him, and relented.

"Fine," the pen went back into the ceramic mug with a photo of Einstein sticking out his tongue.

"You are awesome and beautiful and intelligent and, did I mention, I might secretly be in love with you?"

"I thought you were in love with Jason."

My friend sat up again, very much resembling the old WWII cartoon character known as Kilroy as his nose came over the top of his monitor. Jeff brushed his fingertips through his short growth of facial hair and stared at my wide-eyed office mate.

"Well, he is pretty sexy," he shrugged. "But he's not the one with the current opportunity of getting the hell away from some crazy chick for a couple of hours."

"I see," I took away my pen for a second time.

About an hour later I was hailing a cab with Joker at my side. I instructed the cabbie where to go then proceeded to check my phone on personal emails and missed calls. One was from my mother, still insisting on fixing me up with Jared the Charleston attorney's son. Six were from my sister Penny who was in the middle of a crisis (aka her current boyfriend discovered she was cheating on him with her ex). I made a couple of snide remarks about my insane family after I closed the phone.

"Yeah, but you love them, right?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Sometimes I wonder," I droned.

I felt an amicable pat on my shoulder and when I looked over at him his sarcastic smirk had been replaced with a soft grin.

"You're too nice to have much animosity against anyone."

"Ha!" I snorted. "You don't know me very well," I glanced out the window to watch the traffic begin slowing.

_Another inner city jam that made New York difficult to live in sometimes._

The cabbie began cursing in Arabic, his hand waving in anger at the stopped cars in front of him. I took a breath and tried to settle into a practiced calm while we waited.

"I'll bet I know you better than you think I do," Jeff spoke up. I looked at him again, feeling a touch skeptical.

"Okay. Ante up, Moreau," I challenged.

"You may put up a front that you don't care and that you're all laid-back and cool but you do care for others. In fact, you'd probably put a stranger's needs way before your own if it comes down to it. Actually, you've already done that with about a dozen interstellar vagabonds," he shrugged.

"What was I supposed to do? Just let a bunch of confused, lost people wander around and run the risk of getting hurt or, worse, torn limb from limb in some secret lab?"

Another smile broke on Jeff's face as he nodded.

"See? You're self-sacrificing. And, just in case no one else has said it, thanks for putting up with us."

I let a half-grin pull on my mouth and shrugged absently.

"No big deal, really."

"Yeah, it is. Especially for Thane. You've really changed him. In a good way, I mean."

"How so?" I asked, intrigued.

"Thane's never been the trusting type. Everyone knows he's got some issues with his kid and being a widower and dying, so we all expected him to stay to himself and just brood in his room. But since we ended up marooned here he's become someone that I don't mind talking to, which is really something because I've never been too comfortable being in the same room with a guy who will barely blink an eye when they blast the head off someone else's neck."

I tried not to show my shock at the last remark. Jeff laughed slightly at my reaction and continued his explanation.

"The guy smiles now; he laughs, he jokes around, he socializes. Don't get me wrong, he still scares the shit out of me. But I think he's happy. He seems happy, anyway. Especially when you're around."

The traffic began moving again and I fell silent as he continued to talk about random things, half-listening to what he was saying. Had I changed Thane so much? I assumed that he simply tolerated the crowd in the apartment as I had, but I began to wonder.

"I like you," he drew my attention away from my thoughts. I regarded my company with question, keeping quiet.

"Not just for the whole letting us crash at your place nearly every night. You're alright in my book," he gave me a closed-mouth smile and I returned it.

"Thanks, Jeff."

O . . . O . . . O

My home was full again but this time I wasn't stressing over all the company. In the morning I would be on my way to the beach house to enjoy a couple of days alone with Thane. I was, actually, in a pretty decent mood when I returned to my apartment.

Until Penelope made her presence known by plopping down on my sofa and gave me a glare that could've froze the sun. I walked through my living room towards the bar, ignoring her comical frown. The odd girl's thickly kohled eyes narrowed even more and then she proceeded to do the strangest thing anyone has ever done to try to insult me. She bared her teeth and hissed, like a cat, as I walked by the sofa. In her arms was one of the throw pillows. She buried her face into the upholstery and took a deep breath. I immediately notice how dilated her eyes became and that's when I realized I had a big problem.

I had forgotten about Thane's spicy, perfume-like pheromones, since I was obviously the one he chose to spend his most private moments with, and the thought slipped my mind that others may still be affected by his scent. My brow lowered over my eyes as Penelope pulled the pillow away from her nose and moaned lustfully.

"Ooookaayy," I said quietly and rushed away from her, my sight once again searching for a heavy cooking pan I could use as a blunt, conscious-reducing weapon. My attention was diverted away from the questionably sane young woman as Thane greeted me with a happy kiss on the cheek.

"You ready to get away from this lot?" I asked with a grin. He responded with another kiss, this one a slow, sensual caress on my lips. A low growling from behind me caused my skin to crawl up my back. When I turned around Penelope was only inches away from my face. I felt my eyes widen and I immediately sunk back against my lover's chest.

"Wh-what do you want, Penelope?" I asked, slightly afraid, slightly annoyed, but still trying to keep a friendly tone. When she turned on her heels and walked away I seriously considered leaving the apartment in that moment. The young woman was only getting stranger the more I got to know her. Thane seemed to share my sentiment as he allowed a low rumble to vibrate in his chest.

"_Orre' zhorhasta_," he whispered as he shook his head.

"And that means?" I asked as I heard the door being knocked. He lifted my hand to his lips and gave it a lingering kiss before I left his side.

"She's insane."

I snorted a laugh as I walked to the entrance and welcomed Stephanie into my home. Princess wrestled out of her arms and ran to Thane, whining and begging until he picked up the bouncing ball of white fur. She gladly handed me over the keys to the house and gave me a quick rundown of what all there was in the small town for supplies that I may need. I thanked her again for her generosity. She was about to leave, calling to her pup, only to be shunned for Thane.

"Princess, come to Mommy!" she snapped her fingers. Princess whined loudly and cuddled deeper into his grasp as he approached my neighbor.

"Go to your master, Princess," he instructed as he handed her over. As the door closed I could hear her crying loudly in the stairwell.

"I swear, I think just about every female creature you come in contact with suddenly falls in love with you," I murmured wearily. My good mood was starting to fall downhill.

"You included, Siha?" he teased as he cornered me against the door. The playful gleam in his eyes caused a deep blush to rise in my face.

"Well," I shrugged and found myself cut off by another kiss.

_He's in a really good mood!_ I thought as I began to see pink polka-dots against the black of my closed eyelids.

O . . . O . . . O

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked for the fifth or sixth time as I handed the keys to my home to Jason. He volunteered to stay in my apartment while I went on my short weekend holiday, also needing a break from George who was going temporarily insane as their apartment was being completely redecorated.

"Davis! It's fine! Now, get your butt in that boring-ass Nissan and get the hell out of the city. Besides, look at Thane. Your boy is chomping at the bit."

I looked back at Thane who was waiting patiently for me with his hands folded at the small of his back.

"Okay," I sighed and threw my coat over my shoulder. "Just call me if you need anything."

"Um, no, I won't. The only way I will call you is if the building catches on fire. Or if Godzilla attacks Manhattan and that's only because you would get a kick out of watching the destruction."

I nodded in agreement and left the building, ready to begin my much needed break. It didn't take that long to get out of the city and we soon found our way zooming through Long Island towards our destination. The further I drove from my home the more I anticipated my precious time with Thane. He even seemed excited I noticed. He kept the hoodie over his head but his eyes were locked on the scenery passing his window. Every now and then if a song came over the radio he had heard I would hear him hum softly as he tapped his hands on his knees.

_Yep, he's happy_, I smiled to myself as I recalled Joker's words to me. _He deserves to be happy_.

A couple hours later, including a short stop to a grocery market for a few items, we found ourselves at the small but luxurious bungalow. I gave myself a short tour of the house, each room proving to be incredibly impressive. I even squealed when I noticed the hot tub flanking the back porch, a high, cedar fence blocking any peepers from its view. The master bedroom was quickly broke in as I fell back into the bed. A relaxed sigh was my response to my satisfaction with the house.

The sound of a screen door squeaking open took my attention away from the comfort of the mattress and I walked out to the main part of the house to see the drell standing in the doorway staring out at the deep blue waves of the ocean just yards away from the porch. The soft rushing of the Atlantic became the soundtrack in the house and if I could've relaxed any more I would've become a puddle of goo on the freshly polished hardwood floors.

"It is peaceful here," he spoke up. I grabbed a bottle of champagne I had purchased at the market and shoved it into a bucket of ice to begin chilling. I had planned for a romantic dinner and was happy to see that the kitchen was full of fine cook wear.

"Yeah, it is," I agreed as I left the kitchen to stand next to him at the door. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and I snuggled into his chest. April wasn't the warmest time of the year which meant all the vacationers wouldn't be settling in until later the next month. The air was still cool but the sky was clear and bright. Soon night would fall and the brilliant cerulean dome above would submit to the dark, starlit canopy.

"Stephanie said we shouldn't have any neighbors, so if you want to go out on the beach," I suggested.

"I shall stay here for the moment. Perhaps I will greet the morning sun tomorrow."

I smiled and tried to imagine him watching the sunrise.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. You stay here as long as you want and I'll go begin dinner," I kissed his cheek before I left his side.

"We never saw the sun for the clouds," I heard him muse as I began to fill a pot full of water.

"On Kahje?" I assumed.

"Correct. Thousands of small islands dot the Encompassing, a few are large enough for us to consider countries. The cities and towns are protected by force fields; temperature and humidity can be controlled to our comfort. But, beyond the domes it rains consistently. Thick, heavy, warm downpours. The vapors in the air are rich enough to taste. Those who have the unfortunate job of gathering fish for the markets are often recognized by a layer of salt on their skins. They are the first to contract Keprals, dying at a young age in order for the rest of the drell to eat.

"The oceans seem to boil and churn, never at peace on the surface. Clouds fog the skyline and the sun offers no joyful warmth as yours does. Only pale light through the atmosphere. The shores are not seen as destinations for relaxation. If we must stray out from the domes it is only for funerals."

His eyes flicked up and down the coastline as he spoke. I could almost feel the heavy, salty rains and I began to wonder how dreadful of a place Kahje was for the drell.

"It must be a dark place," I said softly. Thane shrugged casually and glanced back at me with a faint smile.

"It is our world. No one knows of life on Rakhana, but if it has become the wasteland as they say then I am content to call Kahje my home."

"But after you got to see other places, didn't it change your mind?"

"Not so much," he looked back out at the ocean. "The places I had seen were only backdrops for my jobs. I never paid them much attention; I was always too focused on getting my contracts completed. The Citadel was convenient; everything I needed during my work there was readily available. Illium can look enchanting but it tends to mask the danger and deceit with a glittering exoskeleton.

"I had a small apartment where I did my research on my targets, namely Nassana Dantius. It was used only as a place to sleep and remain hidden. I saw no beauty during those times," he sighed and walked back inside to sit at the bar.

"But now?"

A humored snort came from his nose as he stared down at his folded hands.

"Now I take every opportunity to enjoy the mysteries of this galaxy when it is possible. It is unfortunate that the catalyst for my appreciation in things is my impending death," his voice fell to a whisper and his large eyes seemed to look through the bar.

"Everyone's death is impending, baby, because no one knows when it's going to happen," I reached over and placed my hand over his. He laced his fingers between mine and kissed each one.

"You- don't deserve someone like me, Siha."

"I don't deserve to have a sweet guy dote on me nearly every second of the day? I don't deserve the man who took a blow to the face to keep me safe? Or risk his identity to protect me from Princess the Hellhound?" I touched the faint scar on his cheek. "Hmm, maybe I'll just dump you and find some great prick who'll treat me like dirt."

The skin at his throat flushed a dark red as his eyelids began to flutter.

"I- I didn't mean,"

"Thane, I'll only ask one thing of you this weekend, okay?" I placed a finger over his lips. He nodded in acceptance. "No dwelling on the past or the future. Just be with me in the present. We actually have a chance to be alone and I know I'm going to make the most of it."

When I pulled my finger away he smiled at me.

"As you wish, my love," he promised.


	26. Chapter 26

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Non Sequitur comics, TLC broadcasting channel, any Kardashian, and Calvin Klein underwear. The comic described really was posted in March of 2011. It is hilarious.

Chapter 26: Friday and Saturday

The champagne good, the dinner was great, and the aftermath of the fine 'meal completed the day as Thane and I sat on the back porch and watched the sky dim as night fell. We sat on the wicker sofa, a warm blanket over us, and listened to the waves crash along the coast. It felt great to not feel any pressures or anxieties revolving around a full house. A soft purr trilled in his throat and I smiled as he bent down to kiss my shoulder. The first stars were just beginning to twinkle as the moon rose above the ocean. Another warm caress of his lips on my skin graced my neck and then my ear.

"It feels like years since we spent any time together," I whispered. I was gently eased back onto the cushions and kissed deeply. The smell of rich, sensual spice filled my nose and my senses came alive. I breathed in deep the scent of him and the ocean's salt.

"Let us go inside," he said in a husky tone as he pulled me up. We left a trail of clothes to the bedroom then proceeded to spend even more time together. He had pulled me onto his lap and I waited for the sex to begin. But before our trysts continued he stopped and looked me in the eyes. A pensive, longing expression masked his lust. His fingers ran through my hair then down my naked skin, stopping at my waist.

"I don't want to go back," he admitted. I felt a lump squeeze in my throat and I tried smiling through the sudden surge of emotions.

"I don't want you to go back, either. If I had it my way we would stay here in this lovely little house and never leave it. I rarely ever get my way, though," I tried teasing but then I realized just how true that statement was. And it hurt.

"I'm afraid," a tear trailed from his right eye and dropped onto my chest. "I've spent the last ten years locked away inside my battlesleep. I've tried to atone for my sins and prepare for the death I know is soon to come. And I've never felt any fear of it until now." I leaned down and kissed his cheek gently, wiping away the trail of salty water the tear left on his skin.

He moved and I found him hovering over me, more tears rolling down the soft green of his face.

"I'm not ready to leave you, not now or ever. But time is running short and soon I will be forced from your arms. I fear for my son, for the dangers he is sure to face. I fear for my people and the galaxy. I know what I am about to do may be the end to my life, and it is the sacrifice I am willing to make.

"But I'd give anything for a chance to return to you."

My sinuses burned as my own tears blurred my vision.

"I know," I nodded. He settled himself between my legs and began to draw what felt like symbols on my chest.

"_N'ah laste', esseya, aiya,_" he kissed the area over my heart then continued to speak in his language. "_Ya durre tu-fira. Ya lieseh ea', aisheh_ _dorruuul_."

"Will you tell me what that means?" I asked quietly.

"It is an oath, a vow of greatest love. I have promised my fidelity and my body to you already. Now I promise my soul. The priests say that when one crosses the Eternal Sea he is transformed in a new being. I vow to you that when I make it to the shore I will await you."

My arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him close to my lips.

"And I'll come find you," I promised him.

He kissed me passionately and I felt my body become warmer as he caressed me.

"_N'ah laste_'," he whispered as he lifted my legs around his hips. I could feel his long erection pressing against me.

"_N'ah laste'_," I repeated, breath hot as it left my mouth. He nipped at my neck and drug his nails over my breasts, causing me to gasp at the pleasure of the touch.

"_Esseya, aiya,_" he spoke again and I followed. He continued to grind against me, teasing me with his body. The hardened ridges of his shaft rubbed up and down and I nearly begged for him to take me.

"_Ya durre tu-fira_," I moaned after he spoke the next phrase. My hands gripped to his arms, feeling the barbs up his biceps engorge, and I pressed my breasts into his chest as we met in rhythm. I heard him suck in his breath in a poor attempt to control himself. His tongue ran up my neck and stopped at my lips. He murmured the last part of his vow against my mouth as his hand trailed down to touch my aroused center.

"_Ya lieseh ea', aisheh dorruul_. Oh, god!" I cried out as he finally thrust deep inside. Of all the times we made love, or had sex, or just fucked, I never experienced such emotional attachment as I did in that moment. It was more than purely physical; something had changed. We had bonded; we became devoted to each other in both body and spirit.

"I love you," I wept as we continued.

"Say it again, my Siha," he begged. I held tight to him, my heart beating against his.

"I love you, Thane."

O . . . O . . . O

I woke up alone and smiled, knowing exactly where he had gone. I wrapped a sheet around me and padded out to the back porch. The faint yellow light above the horizon meant the sun was on its way up. And Thane was a dark shadow on the beach, sharp and practiced punches and kicks serving as a prayer to the marriage of sea and sky. Just as the bright orange glow crested the ocean he stopped his dance and dropped to his knees. I watched as he began to write in the sand around him, an arching message from his right to the left.

Soft, quiet music echoed over the waves as he finished, and, for the first time, I heard his true singing voice. It wasn't the typical humming I had become used to but a brilliant, pure noise full of passion and praise. Similar to his primary language, Thane's song was a symphony to my ears. His dual-larynxed throat was able to produce harmonies and simultaneous octaves in sounds I had never heard in my life. His song was what I imagined choirs of angels to sound like.

My heart skipped with emotion and I bit down on my lips to keep from crying.

_Damn, I've been doing that a lot,_ I sighed to myself.

The sun rose above the Atlantic, casting splashes of pinks, oranges, and violets against the few clouds wisps in the air. Seagulls were just beginning to make their first rounds and they called in response to the alien song from the drell in the sand.

When he stopped he stood back up and turned to face me. I could see the bright smile on his lips as he held out a hand. I joined him on the beach, making sure the sheet had been tied securely around my body. He pulled me to him and I rested my head against his chest as we continued to watch the sunrise. I looked down at the scrolling symbols at our feet, wondering what they meant.

"It is your name, Siha," he explained. "It is an old practice from Rakhana. A lover will write their beloved's name in the sand. If the gods choose to bless the union they will take the name before any rivals can see it and take it for their own."

"That is beautiful," I sighed. So I took the initiative and bent down to contribute my own promise to him. My broken handwriting of his name next to mine looked like primitive chicken scratch in comparison to his elegant script. When I finished I leaned into his arms and allowed the ocean waves to lull me into a tranquil state.

"You honor me," he kissed my ear.

"Did you expect me to put someone else's name there?" I teased. He chuckled lowly and fell silent. A moment later I felt my toes go wet. We looked down and watched as the tide began to roll upon our feet, promptly stealing the names as the waves retreated. Thane began to laugh merrily, nearly bouncing with glee as he watched the names disappear.

I was swept into his arms and spun around as he continued to celebrate. In the morning light with the sun reflecting off his skin he appeared ethereal to me. I didn't care what kind of life he had been forced to live or the mistakes he made in the past or the fact that soon his body would become too weak to move. He was mine. His gods blessed us by taking our names and keeping them safe from others. He whispered his love for me and I responded by kissing him.

O . . . O . . . O

There was a small stack of found seashells on the table and Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A was playing in the background. I had returned from getting the paper and a few delectable yummies from a pastry shop in town. Thane sat on the floor, iPad on a Sherlock Holmes collection in his hands, and half a croissant sticking out of his mouth. I tried not to laugh, finding it funny just how comical he looked as he became engrossed in the story.

He had allowed himself to relax around me, to be completely casual, which meant he trusted me. That also meant he loved me and that struck a profound chord. I never saw myself as anyone of great significance but to him I was some kind of protective angel. I was important to him. If someone as cautious and untrusting as he could promise me his body and soul then I could honor him the same.

I knelt beside him and slid my arm through his. A sweet peck on my forehead (after he removed the pastry, of course) was his response to my invasion. There was a comfortable silence between us as he continued to read. I had closed my eyes and listened to the soft, gentle music intermingled with the faint purring he gave.

"Would you ever consider marrying me?" his voice immediately ripped me out of my trance. I opened my eyes and regarded him in shock, wondering if I had heard him correctly.

"Wh-what?" I breathed, my heart pounding in my chest.

Thane's deep green eyes sparkled with hope as he lifted a hand to my cheek.

"If it were possible, would you marry me?" he asked again. My ears deafened from the blood beating loudly and my breath left my lungs. I had a million questions swarming through my head. Was he grasping at straws because of his limited mortality? Was he desperate to feel alive by solidifying our union? Was it even possible to legally marry him?

The world had stopped in that moment. The ocean quieted her perpetual waves, Mozart's music silenced. I opened my mouth, not exactly sure what would come out, and I actually surprised myself by what I said.

"Yes. I would."

He looked a little bewildered by my response. I watched as he fidgeted with his hands in mine as he started to speak.

"After knowing what I am and all I've done, you would want to be my wife?"

I stood on my knees and kissed his lips, solidifying my answer.

"In a heartbeat," I nodded. We made love for the second time that weekend.

O . . . O . . . O

I started to check my email on the laptop (I refused to keep it back home) and noticed in bold capital letters a message from Jason on the very top.

"IF YOU EVEN TRY TO WORK WHILE YOU'RE ON VACATION I WILL FIND OUT BECAUSE I'LL MAKE TALI HACK YOUR ACCOUNT!"

I cursed under my breath and logged out of my work account, knowing it wasn't beneath Jason to indeed have Tali set up some kind of spyware. So I went to check my personal notes. There was the typical junk mail from stores and websites I frequented, one sent from my dad which was a Non Sequitur comic featuring a waiter describing the restaurant special to a seated couple. Behind the woman was the chef, sticking his head out of the door with a bugle to his lips. "And tonight's special is the chef's surprise," the waiter said to the oblivious duo. I actually got a laugh out of that one.

My father was one of the few in my life who always supported me in whatever my restless mind wanted to accomplish, be it a Masters in journalism, a degree in culinary skills in a foreign country, or becoming a writer and reviewer of video games for a magazine based in New York. I always had been closer to my father than my mother or most of my relatives in general. My mother, though meaning well, still treated me like a child. My father always saw me as my own person and remained a major positive influence in helping me become the independent person I evolved into.

I sent him back a thank you note, along with telling him I loved him and missed him, then proceeded to delete the other ten messages from Penny with messages like "My life is over" and "I'm calling TLC so they can do a reality show on my life! I am sooo much prettier than Kim Kardashian!" I never understood my sister and I really didn't want to.

Thane emerged from the shower, towel wrapped loosely around his hips. I glanced up at him and noticed that somehow he seemed greener than before. He also looked shinier. I pulled the glasses off my nose, cleaned them briefly, then sat them back on my face.

It is the sunlight or are my eyes playing tricks on me? I asked myself.

Just then he looked down at his elbow, made a faint grunt of acknowledgement, and pulled what looked like a piece of scotch tape from his arm. It came away with a distinct, scaled pattern, and that's when I realized he shed his skin just like a reptile. I covered my mouth with my hand to hide the amused smile.

"My apologies you had to see that, Siha," he muttered as he tossed the papery shedding into the garbage.

"That's not the worst thing I've ever seen, to be honest," I joked as I shut off the laptop. I watched him walk towards the bedroom and fling the towel away.

"Drell try to shed in private. It is especially embarrassing during adolescence due to the amount of times it occurs," he explained as he dug into his luggage for clean clothes. I flopped down onto the bed, silently marveling at his tightly muscled body.

"Kind of like humans and acne?" I asked, a smirk crawling up my face as he turned his back to me.

I may have a dirty mind, but damn it, he does have a nice butt! I sighed to myself.

"Similar, if I'm assuming correctly," he answered, black Calvin Kleins covering his backside from my view. He then joined me on the bed, not bothering to pull his jeans on.

"It is comforting to know you don't seem bothered by our differences," he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"I could say the same thing," I smiled and began stroking the soft skin of his chin. He dropped his head into my lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. A content sigh exited as he closed his eyes.

"Irikah had a gentle touch like you," he commented and I found myself smiling a little. I knew he missed her; he had to and it would've been cruel of me to feel an ounce of jealousy over a woman who met such a horrendous, undeserving death.

"Will you tell me about her?" I asked as I continued to massage his crest and frills with a gentle pressure. A low purr meant that I was doing something right.

"She was very kind, very giving. She had a fiery spirit about her, not necessarily quick to anger, but she certainly never held back when she was upset with me or with anyone else. She had a wonderful sense of humor. Other than her ability to catch my attention by sacrificing her life for a stranger's it was her laughter that made me fall in love with her. She had the most beautiful laugh. She would squint her eyes shut and throw her head back, clutch her side. Her smile was infectious and warm. "

Just then his eyes fluttered shut and I watched him fall into a memory.

"I reach down, grab Kolyat around the waist, and we begin to spin to 'His Song'. He laughs loudly, cries out 'Faster, Father!' Behind me Irikah laughs, her bright tone taking over the music in the background. 'You're going to make both him and you sick,' she teases. I turn around, slightly winded, and put my son down. 'Is that so?' I ask and grab her. She laughs harder as I dip her low towards the floor. Kolyat claps his hands. 'Dance crazy, Mummy!' I kiss her deeply and whisper that I love her. Her laughs soften to giggles. 'I love you, too.'"

When he came to he breathed in a ragged, strained breath. I had stopped touching him as I listened to the memory and I felt a deep regret for asking to bring up unhealed wounds.

"I'm so sorry, babe," I murmured. "It was none of my business, really."

Thane sat up and cupped the sides of my face as he looked me deep in the eyes.

"If it wasn't I would not have told you. I loved her very much. And a part of my heart will always mourn her. But I also love you. Before you I was numb for ten years. You woke me back up and for that I owe you everything that I am."

I was about to deny his offering until I was cut off by another kiss.

After dinner I took advantage of the hot tub and relaxed in the warm, swirling waters while Thane spent a few minutes meditating in private. I felt like I had left a huge, heavy load of stress and anxiety behind me and I regretted the fact that in just a few hours I would have to return to it. I tried tip-toeing around him where he sat on the floor but was immediately stopped as his hand snapped out and grabbed my ankle. I shrieked in surprise and nearly fell on both my face and his shoulders until he grabbed me and put an end to my clumsy tumbling.

I had climbed over him and pinned his arms to the floor to make a point. I didn't like being scared but the gleam in his eyes read a challenge. A low, seductive growling rumbled from his throat as his lips brushed down my neck. I moaned in reply to his touch. Our clothing was quickly removed (and it didn't take him too long since all I wore was a plain black swimsuit), the garments thrown helter-skelter around the room.

"Don't hold back on me, Siha," he whispered in my ear. And with that request I took over the sex. I became a kind of wild animal, taunting him, treating him to every pleasure I could think of. He begged me to never stop as I wrapped my lips around his shaft. I watched his eyes roll back in their sockets as I rode him hard. He held on as long as he could and I marveled at his ability to keep control of his orgasm. But when he did I was pretty sure the words that spilled from his mouth were profanity mixed with awe as opposed to a sweet prayer to his gods.

When it had ended we lay on the rug as a big lump of exhausted flesh. The freshly exposed scales on his skin were slightly sharper than the "old" ones he had shed and my thighs and chest had been rubbed a bright red. The high from his body and my own ecstasy left me feeling nothing but pure elation. He also seemed pretty satisfied by the look of the drowsy smile on his face.

"I think I'll keep you," I joked. He chuckled lowly and lifted up on his arm to kiss my shoulder.

"I'm glad you have reached that decision. But what will you do with me?"

"Oh, I don't know. Watch you parade around the apartment in designer clothes, force you to watch bad science fiction movies every now and then, make you have sex with me."

"Hmm, sounds terrible," he flashed his teeth as his smile grew.

"Yeah, it does. I think we should go to bed," I suggested as I slowly stood up. My legs were still shaky and it caused me to giggle.

He followed me back and after a few minutes of post coitus kissing we fell asleep. The next day we would leave the bungalow for my home. Our precious time alone would be a vivid and cherished memory, one I would often think back on when I attempted to deal with the stress I was sure to face once again. I watched him sleep before I closed my eyes, feeling a touch of melancholy creep back into my soul. I wasn't looking forward to going back to New York. But as his arms curled around me to pull me closer to him I smiled and I finally relaxed into a peaceful sleep.

That was also the night the dreams began.


	27. Chapter 27

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Monty Python's Flying Circus and/or any skits performed by the acting troop. And now for something completely different.

Chapter 27: Sunday

"Heeeeyyyyy!" the apartment-full of aliens and humans hovering over boxes of pizza cheered as we entered my home. I was actually hesitant of opening that door, knowing that when I did our weekend of bliss would be over. I even paused my hand at the doorknob.

It had been a long, tiring journey for us back to New York. The night before, despite the amazing moments of pure pleasure and enjoying his warm company, left me feeling unsure and questioning a lot of things. The dream I had seemed so real.

I was being beaten to death by an unknown group of thugs. I couldn't see their faces and I didn't understand what was going on but I felt every single punch and kick to my body. I could taste the metallic blood thicken in my mouth. My bones broke as they stepped on my arms. Wicked, cold laughs echoed in my ringing ears. I cried out over and over, pleading for mercy, to please stop. I woke up screaming for Thane.

I shook violently in his arms and couldn't go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. Each time I closed my eyes I felt myself take another hit. The peaceful sleep I fell into at first was ruined by the nightmare. That morning I walked onto the beach and watched the sun crawl up over the horizon only to be blocked by a wall of clouds. It started to rain, so rich and thick that I could feel each drop seep into my muscles.

I cleaned up our mess and threw our luggage into the car. I attempted to put myself into a better mood but the memory of the dream kept haunting me. Thane asked me to tell him about it but I couldn't bring myself to reveal the details without feeling tangible pain. He would stare at me in pity and confusion and I felt guilty for not giving him the whole truth. The truth was I didn't want to tell anyone. I was afraid I would relive it.

But I opened the door to my home and felt a little at ease as dozens of eyes met mine and I even smiled as Grunt rushed to us and drug our luggage inside. He then returned shortly with two plates of pizza, handing one to each Thane and me. I wasn't particularly hungry, but he looked so eager and so happy to see us that I couldn't resist humoring him. So, I thanked him and took a bite of the offering as he explained with glee that Katie came to see him and Mordin.

"That's wonderful, Grunt," I said after I swallowed the pizza.

"And, guess what?" his sharp teeth were exposed as he grinned widely. "We found Samara!" he pointed towards the wall o' windows. A tight knot began to form in my gut. That meant we only had one more squad mate to find. I was quickly running out of time with Thane.

I followed Grunt's pointed finger and spotted the latest addition to the group. She stood from her seat and I immediately felt like a flea. She was elegant, regal, and so damn refined that even in my best effort for etiquette I would've been a slovenly dog. Thane placed a hand on my shoulder as he passed by me to meet the tall, beautiful Asari with a rare hug. There was nothing romantic about the embrace but I still felt like a troll that needed to hide in the shadows.

Jason stepped up next to me as I watched the two greet with smiles and hugs.

"For someone who had a weekend in the Hamptons doing nothing but staying in bed with a sexy green alien you don't look so happy," he spoke up over the noise. I rubbed my eyes wearily and muttered an excuse about the long drive through slow Sunday traffic.

"She's actually really cool," he nodded to the Justicar who wore plain yoga pants and a dark grey hoodie. She could've been wearing a garbage bag and made it look like fine charmeuse silk. "Can you imagine living for almost a thousand years?"

I opened my mouth to shoot my friend a sarcastic retort when Thane had turned around and called to me.

"Siha, please," he waved to me. The biting remark fizzled on my tongue as I walked towards my lover and his friend.

As I crossed the room I glanced around to see where everyone was. There was still a card game going on at the kitchen table. A group had gathered around the sofa to watch Jacob and Kasumi play Tiger Wood's Golf on the Wii. Jack was busy barking at Zaeed to get his damn feet off the coffee table because it looked expensive. Everything seemed to be in slow motion and taking hours to walk a few feet. The ghost of the nightmare kept nagging inside my brain, leaving me feeling on edge.

"Sara, may I introduce to you Samara," Thane's voice cut through the net of confusion in my head and I immediately snapped to attention. The Asari matron was at least six feet tall and the most imposing person I had ever met. I was more than intimidated by her presence. But she bowed politely to me as Thane began introductions.

"I have heard many good things of you, Gentlewoman. Well met," her gentle tone answered.

"Oh, uh, y-you have? Like what?" I stuttered as I smiled awkwardly. The lovely blue woman twitched her lips in response to my odd question and I felt like the biggest idiot in the world at that moment. Luckily, the sound of glass shattering on the floor drew my attention away and I politely excused myself to check out the damage.

"I'm so, so sorry!" Tali apologized profusely as she reached down to pick up the shards of glass that had sprayed over the small area.

"It's okay. Not like it was crystal or anything expensive," I joked. As I stood up I slipped on the puddle of water that used to be in the glass. The act of me catching myself resulted in a piece of glass burying itself into my palm. I slowly opened my hand to see blood beginning to collect into a deep red well. The world disappeared and I was back in the dream.

_I continued to scream, begging for the strangers to stop hurting me. I felt cold and I called out a name as a boot collapsed my throat. My ribs were shattered. Blood was pouring from everywhere. I lifted a hand, one last attempt to stop them, but all I saw was the bright gleam of the knife…_

"Siha!" a dark voice whispered in my ear and I felt my body being lifted off the floor. My lungs struggled to breathe and I lost my peripheral vision. I was having a panic attack in front of everyone and I didn't know why.

"Thane, help me!" I gasped. He nodded briefly and I closed my eyes as he rushed me back to my bedroom.

It took a few minutes for me to regain composure. My lungs hurt from the lack of air and my head began to ache. My uninjured hand was clutching to his arm in a death-like vice as I rested my head on his lap.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he stroked my hair. Mordin was cleaning the wound but I couldn't feel the cut. It was either deep or I couldn't register any other kind of pain in that moment.

"I'm fine," I said shortly and somewhat dismissive.

"You're hiding something. We're not leaving this room until you tell me what has you so troubled, my love."

I took a deep breath, my lungs beginning to spasm as I fought the new circulation of air from escaping.

"That dream from last night."

"You said it was nothing. Were you lying?" his voice darkened.

"I didn't think it would keep bothering me, but it's all I can think about," tears began to drip down my face and pooled inside my ears. "I dreamt that I was getting beaten to death, tortured. I couldn't see who was doing it and I didn't know why. I just remember being so scared and everything hurting so badly. All I could think about was-" I sniffled and shook my head as a surge of desperation crept through me. "I just wanted to die so I wouldn't have to feel that much pain again," I choked on my sobs. Finally, it was too much and I began weeping hard.

"I was so scared, Thane! I was so scared!"

Nothing more was said as he held me and rocked me back and forth in a soothing motion.

O . . . O . . . O

I finally calmed down and washed my puffy face with cool water. I returned to the living room and immediately apologized to everyone. Tali hugged me gently as she offered condolences. Grunt placed his doll in my arms and I nearly cried again. It wasn't fair what was happening to these people. With the exception of Miranda, who still treated me like a cancerous lump in her presence, they were good, decent folk who didn't deserve all the pressures placed on their shoulders.

Everything seemed to return to normal and I went back to being the tolerant, polite woman I always identified myself as being. I went to talk with Jason and the rest of the "host" crew while Thane returned to the conversation he began with Samara earlier. In fact, I had to push him away from my side, reassuring him that I was fine.

"Did you have a nice weekend, Sara?" George asked as he handed me a cup of freshly made coffee.

"Yeah, I did. And I'm glad to see my home hasn't been completely demolished."

"Actually," Jason began, "Jack would scream if anyone got close to leaving a hairline scratch on anything."

"Go Jack!" I chuckled as I swallowed a few pain relievers to take the sting out of my hand.

"Where all did you go?" George returned me to the original conversation.

"Ha! Nowhere, if I know her like I think I do!" Jason snorted, causing me to shoot him a warning glare.

"I found a pastry shop not too far from the house where I got coffee and breakfast for us. It was a nice town, very quiet."

"Ooh! Did you get pictures of the house? I'd love to see!" George clapped his hands eagerly.

"Sorry, George, I really didn't think about taking any."

"That's because she was too busy getting busy to take photos!"

"Jason," I warned, "I'm tellin' ya Ah will ask Thane sic Princess on your sorry, nonexistent ass if you don't shut-up."

Jason laughed quietly but didn't say another word. I went on to tell George about the beach house when I felt a cold chill creep up my back. Slowly, I turned around and came face to face with Penelope. She had dyed her hair to a dark brown and stood with one hip cocked out about as far as it could go.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable and very awkward silence she spoke.

"Miranda and me are best friends now," she said in a very bad Australian accent.

I quickly glanced over at Miranda, sitting alone at the sofa and running her hands through her hair, and wondered what kind of devious plan either of them had in store. Then again, maybe Penelope had decided to latch onto the woman in hopes of making me jealous. Either way, I desperately wished I hadn't left the bungalow.

"Oh, how lucky for Miranda," I replied with blatant sarcasm. Penelope never responded, but she did turn on her heels, snort through her nose, and attempted to saunter away. It looked more like John Cleese's performance for the "Ministry of Silly Walks" skit.

"And I thought I was the odd one in the group," Mary spoke up.

"Mary," I began, "you're the Queen of Normal compared to that girl."

O . . . O . . . O

I invited Samara to stay in my home so she and Thane could catch up. Her host, a very nice young man who was working towards a law degree in Brazil, agreed to the arrangement as he went back to his hotel. I found out that Joaquin had asked a favor of a pilot friend to transport Samara and Aldo (her host) with no questions asked.

I stayed to myself and tried to relax, but the dream still kept me from wanting to sleep.

Why did I have such a violent nightmare? And why did it seem like it was really happening? Never in my life was I ever subjected to such physical violence. I was teased a lot in high school but I never got into any fights or had anyone be terribly abusive to me.

I knew that I had to get some sleep due to the fact I needed to return to work the next day, so I tip-toed out to the kitchen to grab a sleeping pill. Thane and Samara were talking to each other at the kitchen table. Mordin and Grunt had left for Mary's home with Katie so they could continue to visit with her. Jack had retreated to her room.

"Siha, would you care to join us?"

I turned around to see the two smiling at me. I had already taken the sleeping pill and it wouldn't be too long before it started working. But I didn't want to offend Samara, plus after the weird way I had been acting I owed her an explanation.

"I apologize to you again, Samara."

The Justicar bowed her head, her ice-blue eyes shimmering against the light.

"There is no need, Sara. But, if you insist, then I accept the apology." I found myself smiling lightly. There was a bit more talking, most of it about how she and Aldo found the group and that her concerns for the squad had been answered. Within a few moments I found my eyes beginning to grow heavy. I tried stifling or hiding my yawns, hoping not to offend her. She obviously noticed my sleepiness when my head dropped to Thane's shoulder.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'll retire for the night," I stood up, feeling the drowsy effect of the medicine in my head. Samara bid me a good evening and I left for my bedroom. As I dropped into bed Thane walked in and soon joined me.

"Don't you want to stay out there with her?" I asked, half-awake. He pulled me to him and kissed my forehead.

"She wanted to meditate and I was happy to give her privacy."

I nodded and closed my eyes ready to finally sleep. He whispered he loved me in my ear as I began to drift into unconsciousness. Before I submitted to my rest I prayed that I would never have that same, horrible dream again.

I did dream, however. It wasn't traumatic and painful but it was just as vivid as before. I was running through a flower garden towards a blurred figure. There was a feeling of desperation to reach them. A red light blinded me for a faint second as I looked up and I felt anger boil inside me.

"Not today," I whispered.

The smell of spice lingered in my sinuses when I woke.


	28. Chapter 28

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Apple technology, Ford motor vehicles, Mortal Kombat (Midway Games), Payday candy bars, and Spongebob Squarepants. I apologize in advance for this. Really, I'm sorry.

Chapter 28: Wednesday

_It was one of the few parks in the city that had any size or privacy. The grass had just been cut, leaving the air smelling rich and fragrant. I breathed in deep and felt my body become alive as well as relaxed. I loved it here. I would come to the gardens and sit on the benches and read. _

_Something soft was pressing into my hand and I looked down to see a flower being offered. I smiled and stuck my nose down into the petals. He was really trying to be sweet and it warmed my heart. Poor soul, he seemed so lost! I took his hand and pulled him down to the small patch of grass beneath our feet. I turned to speak to him when suddenly his hand was on my cheek. My eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed against mine. And the world around me disappeared…_

I threw cold water on my face and tried to breathe. After my confused mind had untangled I grabbed the journal I had been keeping for nearly two months since the first dream occurred and quickly jotted down a brief summary.

"A park, freshly cut grass, a warm hand in mine as we sat down. He kissed me."

I looked back up at my reflection and noticed the thick dark circles under my eyes and I sighed wearily. I may have been getting sleep but the dreams made any bit of relaxation impossible. They offered no answers. They were always blurry yet vivid. The voices, if any, were distorted, and the faces were always hidden.

At this point I should be beating down the door of a psychiatrist to find out what the hell is wrong with me, I thought darkly.

I went on with my daily ritual of getting a shower, dressing for work, checking on the other "squatters" still living in my apartment, then grabbing a quick snack before I rushed off. The squad mates were getting restless and there was still no sign of Legion. They weren't the only ones feeling tension. I felt like a tightened spring, ready to uncoil at any given moment. I also started getting a bit antisocial. When the apartment became crowded I would skulk away to either my room or the rooftop. I felt like I was being suffocated slowly. There were even a couple of times I barked at Thane for no apparent reason. I felt like a jerk afterwards and ended up apologizing. He was quick to forgive but I could also see worry for me in his eyes.

As I began walking down the street my phone rang. I was slightly surprised to see that it was Mary calling since she knew I would be at the office in a few minutes.

"Mary?" I answered.

"Sara. I need you to meet me and Al in the conference room when you get here. It's important."

"Um, o-okay," I replied, both confused and slightly irritated. "Is everything alright?"

"Explanations will be provided," she rattled off quickly and the call was immediately ended. Just then a taxi had slammed on his breaks, nearly hitting me. I turned to glare at the cabbie who was cursing at me behind the windshield.

"Go fuck yourself, you ignorant douchebag!" I yelled as I pointed to the pedestrian light flashing the walking symbol. He stuck his top half out of his window and again started cussing as I slammed my hand on his car's hood.

"You wanna hit me with this hunk of junk, go ahead! Ah dare ya!" I snapped back before I started down the street. At that point I was fuming and ready to scream my head off.

When I got to the office all I wanted to do was go back to my workspace and start playing Mortal Kombat and vent a little. However, I was quickly spotted by Ned before I had a chance to hide. He smiled shyly and approached with an awkward shuffling gait.

"Good hello, Sara! Er, I mean, good morning. Sara. Which is your name. You look beautiful today," he sighed. Normally, I would've simply said "thanks" with a touch of sarcasm but after having another restless night and nearly getting creamed by some dumbass in a ten year old, scuffed up yellow Crown Vic I wasn't in the mood for his crush on me.

"Ned, unless you have something important to tell me, I've got things to do."

The smile on his face quickly faded away and I immediately felt awful for snapping at him. He dropped his gaze to the floor and looked absolutely forlorn as he nodded slowly.

I didn't apologize. And when I realized just how great of a bitch I became I could feel my guilt begin to eat at my conscience. I quickly passed by the young man and walked into the conference room where Mary and Al were waiting for me.

"Morning, Sara," Al greeted as I flopped into one of the chairs at the table.

"Yep," was all I could manage to reply back to him. Mary rose from her seat and cleared her throat. It was the first I had seen her in nearly three weeks. She had volunteered to go to CERN and work on some big physics project that I was sure I could never comprehend. I still had no clue why she chose to work at Gamer's Haven and not live in the blissful life of a scientist within the Swiss Alps.

"I asked you both here because I consider the three of us to be the leaders of the squad hosts, due to the time, energy, and brain power we have all inclusively put forth in this project of helping them find their way back to their universe.

"Al, you've hosted Shepard, and you've also housed several other squad mates while they spent their time here in New York. You've also helped get the message across the world wide web in hopes of locating them."

My eyebrow rose as I shook my head. No one said "world wide web" any longer. It was considered overused and bordering on ridiculous. Mary never was one to stick with the trends.

"Sara, you have been the center of the hub. You have been the go-to host and provided everyone a base to meet."

"Not really my choice, and you're stating the obvious, Mary," I snorted. Al shot me a surprised glance. Every now and again I was known to interject conversations with humorous sarcasm, but I was never malicious. My irritated attitude was not my usual character.

"I only wanted to affirm our status because what I'm about to reveal with answer a lot of questions we all have been asking for the past few months." And with that she turned around her iMac and revealed a very long and complicated looking equation scrolling over her screen. To me it looked like a foreign language and clarified nothing whatsoever.

"This is a formula I have been working on since Garrus and Tali ended up in my home. The maths all balance out and, since everything works perfectly with every simulation I've ran through my series of computers at home I can safely say that this is no longer a theory, but solid proof.

"I know how to get them back home."

Al and I both sat up straight and looked at each other.

"Are you serious?" Al asked and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm not one to joke, Al. Especially about this. We all have assumed that something generated a wormhole to connect with both their universe and ours. What that was, we never knew. But I do.

"That Friday night, according to this chart and after chatting with every single host to gather data, aside of Jack's which means I am hypothesizing, we all had the same story. We were all playing Mass Effect 2 at the same time. And, by some chance of fate, or coincidence, however you want to word it, we all stopped the game in the very same spot; right before the Normandy passed through the Omega 4 Relay. It sounds ridiculous, and, indeed, far-fetched. But that very rare coincidence, which I have calculated the probability to this digit, caused a rift in space-time, ergo a wormhole opened up in each of our homes depositing one or more of the group inside," she pointed to a very long number on the screen. It looked like pi there were so many digits lining the page.

"Then, how do we get them back?" Al asked again. My stomach began to tighten into knots and my palms began to sweat.

"Simple. Actually, it's so simple it's relatively stupid," Mary smiled. "We all turn on our games at the exact same moment, at the exact same place where we stopped. That should reopen the vortex and get them back to the Normandy since it is the point of origin."

"But wouldn't we need the same amount of games playing to get that to work?"

She nodded and my guts cramped again. I didn't want to be a part of this conversation and I was quickly becoming physically ill at the sound of her conclusion.

"Not a problem. Jason has been a part of this group. What I'll need him to do is begin his own campaign then stop the game where everyone else has. He can be Jack's portal."

My head tightened with the sign of an oncoming migraine and I needed to vomit.

"We just need to find Legion," her voice tunneled through my nearly deafened ears.

"Uh, Sara, you okay? You don't look so good," Al placed a hand on my shoulder. I immediately recoiled from him and shot him a glare. The two stared at me with the same shock as before.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" I hissed, my voice clearly not my own. My hands were pressed tightly to the table surface and I could feel the sweat pool under my palms. I stood up and rushed out the door towards the restrooms where I lost what little bit of breakfast I had consumed. I leaned back against the cool, metal stall partition and tried to recompose myself.

The door opened and I knew that it was Mary. I easily spotted her Hush Puppy loafers as she stopped at my stall door.

"Sara," her voice changed from its usual nasally tone to an almost gentle whisper.

"What?" I answered weakly, my throat burning from the acid.

"Al said I should check on you so I came in to check on you. You vomited, didn't you?"

"Figured that one out on your own?" I spat.

"I knew it wasn't going to be easy to reveal my findings to you, but you needed to know the truth. Everyone in our circle knows about you and Thane."

I thumped my head against the stall and felt a shock of pain shoot down my body. I wanted her to just go away. I wanted the whole world to go away.

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest. You can think about what all we've said today with a clearer mind," she suggested.

A thousand biting retorts burned on my tongue but I kept my mouth shut. A moment later her brown loafers went towards the restroom door and disappeared as she exited the room. I followed her advice and left the office for home.

O . . . O . . . O

There was a candy bar wrapper on the bar. It really wasn't that big of a deal, and normally I would've just thrown it away without pointing a finger or saying anything. It was a Payday and only one person in my home ate them. He was still munching on it as he watched Spongebob Squarepants on my television, the little doll next to him on the sofa.

"Thanks for leaving the mess," I snapped as I grabbed the wrapper and crumbled it tightly in my hand. Grunt turned around and regarded me with guilt.

"M'sorry, I didn't want to miss the cartoon," he said with a mouth full of peanuts.

"All that I ask for is that my home, which you have took over, be clear of any clutter. Is that too much?" my voice rose. Grunt stood up from his seat and dropped his head. Jack also appeared in that second and offered me a very dark frown.

"What the hell is wrong with you? He would've got it," she defended the young krogan.

"He could've got it the second he walked past the fucking trash can," I threw the wrapper into the bin.

"You know, lately you've been a bigger bitch than Miranda. You're a real asshole, Davis," Jack crossed her arms over her chest.

"Thanks for the insult."

"Sara!" the rich, graveled voice of my lover cut through the tension. I shot a glance towards the back of my living room and saw him slowly approaching, a disapproving scowl etched on his face. Jack shook her head at me and walked back to her room. Grunt had retreated to his corner and began to brush his fingers through his doll's hair as he moped. The anger was still continuing to climb and I could feel my lips beginning to pull into a snarl.

"We need to have a talk," he reached for my hand and pulled me towards our bedroom. As the door closed behind us he turned to me and the stern expression changed to concern.

"Siha, something is the matter. You have been increasingly agitated lately. What is bothering you?" he asked. Despite his best efforts to get me to sit next to him on the bed I refused his hand and began pacing the length of the floor. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest and I began to feel sick again.

"Nothing's wrong!" I snapped.

His right brow rose slightly and I knew I couldn't convince him. Hell, I couldn't even convince myself. He tried blocking my steps and grabbed my hands to slow me.

"It is obvious you are distressed about something. I only wish to help," his voice dropped to a soft tone as he reached up to cup my cheek. I pulled my head away to avoid his touch and forced my hands from his. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't tell him what I learned from Mary. The news was still raw inside, proof that he could never be completely mine.

"Look, Thane, I said nothing is wrong, so just get off it, okay? It's already been a long day and all I want is to relax without having a bunch of fucking moochers tripping me up at every turn in my own damn house," I sighed wearily and paused as I looked out the window. A wave of guilt overtook me as another nauseating cramp jerked at my guts.

"Damn it! I'm sorry. I guess I'm just," I felt my throat clench as tears began to fill my eyes. I knew I was about to reach the boiling point. I knew I needed to vent, but I didn't expect that the catalyst would be the man I loved. All I wanted to do was run and hide, but I knew he wasn't about to let me. That pissed me off even more.

I shook my head and finally lifted my eyes to look at him. His gaze was even and smooth but there was a war waging behind the black and green of his eyes. He inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring slightly, as he parted his thinned lips to speak.

"We are not leaving this room until you speak to me. Your patience is not endless, despite what others around you may think. You must release your frustration at some point. I am only happy to oblige you."

Once again, he took my hands and gently caressed the backs with his thumbs. Normally, I welcomed his touch with gusto, but his fingers felt hot against my skin. I recoiled from him as the anger boiled in my blood. I didn't need this. I didn't need the Spanish Inquisition. Didn't he understand what was happening? Didn't he know that soon I was going to lose him forever?

"Ah ain't releasing' nothin'!" I hissed. "It's none of yer business, so let's just leave it at that!"

My pacing began again; this time faster and I could feel my heels stomp harshly on the carpet. I hadn't been this upset in a long time. Even my outburst at Penelope was nothing compared to this. My heart ached for him but I wanted nothing more than to ignore the pain. He was only fueling it.

"This is unfair to me, Sara," he growled. The tone of his voice rumbled through the room and I knew he was attempting to control his anger. I had never seen him angry. It should've frightened me. "I only ask to help you because I love you –"

"Then leave me the fuck alone, Thane! That's helping me!"

Tears were beginning to roll down my face, burning my cheeks. Why wouldn't he just let me run? Why did he have to keep pushing my emotions to the surface? Why did he have to keep interjecting himself into my life?! He suddenly appears in my living room in the middle of the night, steals away what's left of my heart like some kind of thief, then takes it upon himself to act as my therapist! Fuck him! Who does he think he is?!

I took a glance at him through my tears, blinking to clear my sight. What I saw made me wish I hadn't bothered. The agony and anger I saw in his face made me want to drop into a ball and fade away. As much as I wanted escape the scenario I knew I couldn't. My throat was beginning to stifle the scream that was building up as my frustration reached the peak. A low, haunting rumble vibrated from his neck; a dark, dangerous growl that sounded nothing like the sweet purring I had become used to. I had pissed him off. Good!

"I will not leave you alone," he whispered slowly and with deep infliction. As he continued to speak his voice rose, becoming increasingly louder until he was nearly yelling. "I have bound myself to you and I am a part of you! I suffer as you do! It pains me to see you struggle with yourself like this!"

In all the time we had been together we had never been in such a deep and heated argument. There were the occasional little spats over stupid stuff which was typical for all couples but this hurt.

"We should be a united front and face our internal adversaries together!" he nearly pleaded.

In that moment I had turned to him and saw red. I was seething anger, a deep, festering storm that seemed to come up from the very pit of my soul. The words I spat were cold and piercing.

"We have never been together, Thane! You were never there!"

I gasped and clasped my hand tightly over my mouth in utter shock. The only sound in the room was the background noise of the city outside my window.

_What the hell did I just say? Why did I say it?_

I looked away from him. He stared at me with confusion and hurt. I felt cold, distant, and no longer the person I prided myself as being. Jack was right. They were all right. I tried to look for solace among the curtains, books, and anything else that wasn't Thane. Nothing offered any bit of comfort.

Until my eyes focused on the mirror on my closet door and I saw the reflection of the person who took over Sara Lynn. It mirrored my shock and confusion, solidifying something deep in the far reaches of my mind. It pressed against my skull, nearly consuming me for a split second; an entity that refused to reveal secrets.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror and met his. He looked insulted, wounded, bruised. He took a step away from me and folded his hands behind his back, refusing this time to reach to me.

I ran from the room, ran from the wave of guilt that was about to swallow me along with the fury and shock that still radiated in my heart. I needed to breathe, to feel air around me. I needed, vodka? No, I needed oxygen. I felt like I was being choked, or swallowed. Something else was there besides the negative energy; inside me, like a cancerous growth. It hurt more than anything and it felt odd and foreign. I escaped to the rooftop and sat on the bench. I prayed he wouldn't follow.


	29. Chapter 29

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Payday candy bars, Nickelodeon broadcasting network, and Spongebob Squarepants. Head-canon says Krogan like peanuts. I don't know why.

Chapter 29: Friday

"Thane," I leaned against the door jamb of the bathroom and watched his silhouette quickly move in the shower. It had been two days since our argument and in that time I felt like the worst person to ever be brought into existence. He took to sleeping on the sofa once again which left my bed a cold and lonely place. He never brought up the fight but his dismissive body language to me spoke in loud volumes. I had hurt him deeply.

The odd outburst that ended the struggle between us still confounded and confused me. What did I mean by he was never there? Never where? Since his arrival into my home he had not left my side.

"Yes?" he responded over the sound of the water spraying against the shower door.

"I need to apologize to you. I really don't know what's wrong with me."

The faucet was turned off and he stepped out of the shower to wrap the towel around his waist. There was still deep pain in his eyes.

"Neither do I," he snorted back at me and I flinched slightly.

I deserve that, I nodded to myself.

"I need to tell you something important. Matter of fact, I need to tell Jack, Mordin, and Grunt, too," I looked down at my toes. He snapped the towel off as he walked towards the closet in search of clean clothes.

"Perhaps you should make amends with Grunt before you attempt to speak to him," he suggested in a cold voice. Again, he was right. I hurt Grunt, too. The young krogan kept his distance from me as much as he could and barely spoke a word to me. Mordin was the only one in the apartment who didn't seem to show much reaction to my strange attitude. He continued to work on whatever it was he was working on, only pausing to take breaks for the restroom or to nibble on something small.

"Yeah, okay," I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. I looked down at the journal in my hands and for the thousandth time questioned showing him the reason why I was upset. Well, one of the reasons. Would he understand? Could he offer a suggestion to the confusing dreams or would they seem like nothing but nonsense.

"The dreams haven't stopped," I revealed after a moment of internal debate. He reemerged from the closet dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt that had yet to be buttoned.

"The nightmare?" he asked and I detected a hint of concern in his voice. I shook my head and held out the journal I had been hiding in the bathroom.

"There are more. They haven't been as violent as that first one, but I remember them as though they just happened to me."

He took the journal and began to read over the entries as he slowly paced the room. I wondered if he could read my messy handwriting. I waited for him to finish and sat down on the unmade bed. My room was cluttered and bordered on chaotic. Dirty clothes never made it to the hamper and several pieces of jewelry hadn't been put back into the jewelry box. Shoes, unmatched, lay scattered on the floor from where I had carelessly kicked them off. He had to have noticed the mess but hadn't said anything.

"This is what has been troubling you?" he closed the book and began fingering the grosgrain ribbon that had been glued inside the spine.

"Yeah," I nodded. I was past the point of denying them and fighting with myself and with him.

"Hmm," he rubbed his chin. Slowly, he sat down next to me and scooted closer as he gave the journal back to me. This was the closest we had been since the argument. I hesitated dropping my head to his shoulder, wondering if he was in a forgiving mood or if my cold words had done too much damage. His eyes met mine and I saw sadness and longing along with the hurt I had inflicted.

"Siha," he reached for my hands and pulled me to him. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is- most unusual for you."

"I know it is," I agreed. "I guess I was afraid you might think I'm crazy if I told you that these stupid dreams are affecting me."

"They aren't stupid. They resemble memories in a way. I'm afraid I cannot offer much clarity to you, but perhaps Samara may be able to help."

I sighed and nodded, my gaze dropping to the floor where I spotted a dirty sock lying next to a plain beige bra. I had a sudden need to clean my room, sterilize it, repaint the walls, buy new curtains…

"I've missed you, my love," he tilted my chin up and stared deep into my eyes. "I have been very lonely sleeping on your sofa these past two nights."

I snorted a laugh and finally smiled.

"Yeah, I missed your company, too."

Without a warning, I found myself under him as he kissed me deeply. His hands slid under my shirt and traveled up to my bra. I gasped at his warm touch on my skin.

"Just my company?" he teased as he nibbled at my throat. I slid the shirt off his shoulders and sighed happily as he settled between my legs. I knew I was about to get a houseful of people soon but I didn't care. I needed him and I needed to know if he forgave me. I figured that he did when my underwear was quickly pulled down my legs and tossed onto the floor. The last mundane thought that crossed my mind before we engaged in the sex was just how badly I needed to clean that damn floor.

O . . . O . . . O

"You wanted to tell me something," he purred as he rested his chin on my chest. "Besides the dreams."

The warm, fuzzy feeling of post-orgasmic bliss began to cool and I sat up to face him.

"Yes," I nodded. "Mary had a talk with Al and me. And, well, she figured out how to get everyone back to the Normandy."

I watched the sparkle fade in his eyes as he blinked rapidly.

"Oh. I see." He sat up on his arm and waited for me to continue. I quickly explained Mary's solution to the best of my understanding. He nodded slowly in thought.

"Until we locate Legion we are, for lack of a better term, stuck here."

"Looks that way. Which means that as soon as we find him we need to get everyone back," my voice caught slightly. When I looked up he was barely an inch away from my face. I watched as his inner lids blinked before his outer set fluttered.

"No dwelling on the past or the future. Just be here with me in the present," he kissed the tip of my nose and I smiled.

"Using my own words against me," I chuckled.

"They were good words," he smiled and kissed me again. I felt my desire reignite as he crawled over me. But the loud, rude, interrupting knock on my door immediately stopped us.

"If you two are done with the make-up sex there's someone at the door!" Jack reported in her annoyed voice. I rolled my eyes and slowly sat up.

"I wonder how much it would cost to sound-proof the walls," I grumbled.

"This is your home," he shrugged, still lounging on the bed like a happy, warm goanna. "If Jack is offended by what happens within the confines of your property she should request to stay elsewhere."

"Yeah, I guess so," I agreed as I searched for my fallen tee-shirt.

"Siha," he pulled me back up. "I know that what you've learned must have been difficult to ingest, especially with the bond we have formed, but I want you to be able to tell me anything."

"Okay," I agreed and let him hug me tightly. He whispered that he loved me before he let me go and redress.

The typical Friday evening get-together began as I welcomed Mary, Tali, and Garrus into the apartment. It seemed that things were beginning to go back to normal (or what constituted as normal) as the squad and the hosts who were still in New York began to file through the door. Jacob had returned to California with Joaquin while Miranda went back to England with her surgeon host. Aldo had just made it back to the city after his classes had ended to bring Samara back to visit with the squad. Zaeed was invited to stay with Stephanie after a short affair began to take place. I didn't even bother to ask when I discovered the coupling a month ago. I didn't think it was any of my business.

As the "party" got started I slowly approached the other person I managed to emotionally scar during my uncharacteristic tirade on Wednesday. I held out a Payday to the young krogan who was brushing his doll's hair as he moped in his corner.

"Grunt," I began softly, "the other day I was not very kind to you. I was venting some frustrations and I had no right to use you as a target. I'm very sorry."

Grunt eyed the candy bar with speculation then glanced up at me. I smiled gently and chanced sitting down next to him, wondering if it was a bad decision. Was I only seconds away from a concussion-inducing head butt? A low growl rumbled from the youth, vibrating through the floor. He accepted the treat with trepidation, again eyeing me with caution.

"You won't yell again?" the child with the deep voice asked.

"I promise. I won't yell at you again."

His acceptance of my apology was handing me back the candy bar so I could unwrap it for him. I let a few tears drop from my face as he dropped his huge head to my shoulders and munched on the peanut butter sweetie. I never realized just how much of an impact I made on the squad. I assumed most just viewed me as a background face amid the crowd. But, that moment, I risked taking a glance around the room and I discovered something profound.

Trust.

They trusted us as their hosts to keep their secrets, give them shelter and food, and to keep them safe until we could send them back home. They needed us. They developed friendships and bonds with us. They also respected us as equals.

"Is it okay to go watch Spongebob?" Grunt asked, removing me from the emotional realization I was experiencing.

"Sure," I nodded and watched him hurry to the sofa where Jack, without so much as a grumble flipped the channel to Nickelodeon for him. The ridiculous theme song for the cartoon waved over the noise of laughter and unintelligible conversation. I remained in the corner, continuing to watch the scene, happy to be the onlooker for once.

O . . . O . . . O

"Thane tells me you have been having trouble sleeping," Samara spoke up as I heated the water for his tea. I wasn't sure how to answer her or how to even ask her for any assistance in helping me interpret the dreams. I clumsily slid my glasses back up my nose and tried not to stutter as I spoke.

"Um, yeah. I have," I nodded. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled with an overwhelming wisdom that again I felt petty and unworthy to be in her presence. "I've been keeping a diary of sorts, thinking that if I read them back to myself they would make sense. But they don't."

"Would you allow me to read it?" she asked. I looked over at Thane to see him in the middle of a conversation with Shepard and Al. I ushered the Justicar towards my room, glad that I took a few minutes before the evening began to pick up a few things off the floor. I handed the journal to her and waited, with some patience, as she read each passage.

"These dreams, they are not from current moments in your life?"

"No. No memories I can recall. But they seem so real and I feel like they have happened to me," I replied as I sat down on the bed. Samara followed and sat the journal on her lap.

"Normally, I wouldn't ask this of someone I've not known for long, but your situation is certainly not typical," she turned to me and reached for my hands. Her touch was cool and electric. "A mind meld between an asari and another is often an intimate experience, but I have no intention in taking the bond from you and Thane. I wish to reach into your mind with the hope of uncovering some sort of key to these dreams. Would you permit me to conduct the meld?"

Slowly, I nodded and wondered if the telepathic bond I would temporarily create with Samara would leave me lobotomized or, worse, in love with her.

"Relax, Sara, and look into my eyes," her calm voice coaxed me into a relaxed state. I stared at her for at least a minute, soon beginning to wonder if she was really going to help or if I was being played a fool.

Until her eyes went completely black. I felt my consciousness being pulled out of my brain and soon I found myself in a world of nothing. I couldn't see myself, I couldn't come up with any real thoughts, but I knew I still existed. Suddenly, I heard a voice. I turned around what I perceived to be my head and watched a scene unfold.

Blurred figures were coming towards me. I was unable to see their faces clearly but I heard laughter and I knew there was happiness. My heart swelled with an overwhelming pride and abundance of love. Arms were wrapping around me and I began to feel my feet move in an awkward dance. I was laughing along with the shadows as I spun around and around. I opened my eyes and clearly saw a pair staring back at me. I felt love, a protective love radiating from me for the owner of those eyes and I burst into uncontrollable sobs.

As soon as the flashback began within the meld it quickly vanished, and I found myself once again sitting on my bed with tears rolling from my eyes. I couldn't breathe and my head ached with a dull pain.

"What did you see, Sara?" Samara asked. I focused my blurred sight on her and swallowed the dryness in my throat.

"A child," I blurted out, not realizing I had said anything until I heard the words float through the air into my ears. I shook my head, feeling shocked and still lost.

"What does it mean?" I whispered and held myself in a tight ball. "I still don't understand."

Samara handed me a tissue and waited for me to calm down.

"You are looking through the eyes of someone else, someone not too distant from your past."

I replaced my glasses and stared at her in speculation. I never considered myself a religious person and leaned more towards thinking agnostically. The thought of having a "past life" or "lives" even seemed ridiculous mumbo-jumbo to me. But, after the strange vision with Samara's help my lack of faith seemed in that moment shaken and left me questioning everything I once thought to be true.

"But why?" I shook my head in confusion. "Why am I having these dreams now? If this is true then I should've been having these so-called visions my whole life, right?"

I searched her wisdom-filled eyes for hope and answers. She smiled lightly and traced her finger over the knotted bracelet at my wrist.

"Often times a very important moment in one's life may be the catalyst for such events."

I fell silent and stared at the journal with question and slight fear. I still didn't understand and I wasn't sure that I wanted to.

"Should I leave you alone to meditate over your thoughts, Sara?" she brought me back to the present. I shook my head and smiled weakly as I shoved the journal off my lap.

"No, I think I'd like to go visit everyone before the evening ends. Thank you for your help."

"It was an honor," she bowed her head as she stood.

I showed her back down the hall and attempted to hide the shock I was still feeling from the mind meld and the intense vision she guided me towards. I was soon met by the wide-eyed stares of everyone in my home. Not a word was spoken.

"What happen? Did we run out of pizza again?" I attempted a very poor joke.

The silence remained as Mary turned her laptop towards me and my gut dropped. A deep sense of anxiety and sorrow filled me as I stared at the image on the screen. The phrase she spoke was the very thing I had been dreading to hear.

"We found Legion."


	30. Chapter 30

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: The Big Bang Theory and Apple products. Nothing funny to say here.

Chapter 30: Saturday

I replayed the message over and over, hoping that it was some kind of cruel joke. But the message was the same and each time I played it I felt my stomach tie into knots.

"Consensus reached, mass of information via electronic networks searched, valid address found. Shepard- Commander. We are here. Requesting visual confirmation of current status."

The screen flashed to a map of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Legion was in Canada. I dropped my chin onto my forearm and continued to stare at the map. The geth wanted someone to visit him; to make sure what he found was legitimate. Shepard immediately volunteered as did Al. That was alright by me. I didn't want to meet Legion. Seeing him "in the flesh", so to speak, meant that the search was over. That meant Thane was leaving me.

Mary took Mordin and Grunt to her home before she went after Katie who had the weekend off. Jack mumbled something about going for a walk in the park to "feed the damn pigeons" which meant I was alone with Thane. I almost, in a way, didn't want to be alone with him. I knew I would cry the second he touched me. The previous night brought me no sleep. And while Thane acted like he was deep in slumber I suspected that he was feigning rest.

I pushed the touchpad on the laptop once more. The white light that flashed from the geth's head seemed to blind me.

"Consensus reached, mass of information via electronic networks searched…"

"Siha," the soft, velvety voice behind me ripped my attention away from the robotic tone echoing from the weak speakers. I paused the video and slowly turned around on the barstool. Thane stood in the center of the living room and stared down at the journal in his hands. He had read it again, despite the fact he could remember everything. I wondered why he bothered.

"I'm a very selfish person," I murmured more to myself than to him.

"In what way?" he approached. I let my gaze drift from his frame down to my knees. In my peripheral I could see his hand gently lower the laptop's screen before he reached for mine.

"I guess because I want you to stay here with me. I know you have to go back to the Normandy, but I," I sighed and finally met his eyes. I could feel the tears beginning to build in my sinuses and I began to hate myself for being so emotional.

Thane knelt before me and began to caress the back of my hands.

"It's unfair," he whispered. "So much is unfair."

I nodded in agreement as I wrestled to keep my crying at bay.

"I don't want to lose you, Thane," I coughed on my breath. His arms encircled me and I held him to me as tightly as I could.

"You'll never lose, me, Siha. I always have been yours and I always shall. Even when I have gone from your sight I will be here," he placed a hand over my heart.

I kissed him with passion and desperation, trying to burn the taste of his mouth into my memory. I wanted to make sure that when I meet the end of my days I will linger on the traces of cinnamon and honey on my tongue. The silence of the apartment was soon filled with the sound of our cries and heated pants as we stripped each other of our clothes, using the bar as a bed. I never closed my eyes as we made love. I wanted to see his green-fired orbs locked on mine. I never let go of him. I wanted to feel every touch burn into my skin. The harder and faster he pushed the more I begged him to never stop.

"I keep finding myself drifting back to the weekend we spent at the shore," he kissed my temple as we spooned on the sofa, a blanket barely covering us just in case Jack decided to come back. Even if she did she more than likely wouldn't have said anything more than snort in derision before running back to her room.

"It was a nice weekend," I smiled lazily, still tripping off his drug. "I won't be forgetting it, that's for sure."

We lay quietly for a moment before I spoke again. I turned to face him and placed a hand on his jaw line, feeling the faint waltz-like pulse beneath his ribbed skin.

"I'm going to leave the magazine," I admitted. His brow furrowed slightly before he rose to his elbow.

"Why? You seem to enjoy your career," he flipped a few locks of my hair between his fingers.

"I don't think I can do it anymore, knowing what I know now and how I feel about you," I ran my hands over his arms, feeling the barbs along his muscles beginning to retract back to their normal thorn-like size.

"What will you do then?"

"I could apply at a newspaper or another magazine. Or I always have my culinary degree to fall back on. I have a few options. But my contract renewal at GH is coming up next week and I'm not sure I can give Al another five years after everything that's happened."

"You are certain this is what you want?"

For a moment I reflected back on the several years I spent as a reviewer for Gamer's Haven. I had made some great friends, shared a lot of good times. But what stood out the brightest was my friendship with Jason. We had been friends long before our careers at the magazine started but it seemed that our real kinship strengthened in that little shared office. Would my decision to leave change everything? Would I lose my best friend?

I looked back into Thane's eyes and knew I was making the right decision. Mass Effect 3 would be out the following year and I knew I couldn't play the game in any amount of honesty. I also didn't want to know what the developers had done to the people I had come to call my friends. I didn't want to know what sort of fate would befall the man I fell in love with. I had a sinking feeling I already knew. Things had become too real. This wasn't a game; it ceased to be a game the moment Thane appeared in my home lost and alone.

"Yes," I nodded and caressed his right frill. "Yes, it is what I want. It's what I have to do."

He kissed me softly in response to my answer. I curled my legs around his hips, drawing him back into me. But our alone time was quickly ended as we heard the sound of something crashing against the door along with Jack growling loudly.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" she demanded. Thane sprang up, grabbed his jeans and was quickly pulling them up his legs as he threw me his shirt. My clothes had been flung to the other end of the room and I didn't have time to go after them before the door was pushed open to reveal who Jack had found.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I fumbled with the buttons of the cotton poplin shirt. Held in a firm grip by the tattooed woman behind her was, of all people, Penelope. She wore tight white jeans, tall black boots (despite the fact it was over 80 degrees outside), and an ashamed expression on her face.

"Looks like she was spying outside the door," Jack snorted as she let her go with a harsh shove. Penelope refused to meet my eyes as I approached her. For the past couple of months after Miranda went back to England with her host she had kept her distance, barely saying a single word to either Thane or me. I was waiting for her to do something strange, but peeping on us was the last straw.

"Were you?" I asked in a calm voice that belied my boiling anger. I was pissed enough I didn't really care if I was nearly naked and still half-baked from the drell's kiss.

"I was going to knock, but I heard you two together," she mumbled as a bright blush rose in her cheeks.

"You don't even want to know what she was doing when I found her," Jack shook her head in disgust. My skin began to crawl as I glanced back at the creepy woman before me.

"What the fuck do you want?" I was tired of playing the nice guy.

"I-" she hesitated as she began to run her fingers through her hair. She had stopped dying it Miranda brown and changed it to a cherry red. I took another step towards her and clenched my jaw.

"Talk or Ah'm callin' the cops!"

Her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull as she buckled and dropped to the floor.

"Please, don't call the cops! I have a restraining order against me and if you call them they'll see it and I'll be arrested and made into a prison bitch!" she wailed. Jack, Thane, and I stared at each other with a touch of shock.

"Why am I not surprised?" Jack shook her head and walked towards the kitchen.

"So, you come to my home with the intent of 'God knows what' and instead of leaving us alone when you heard us 'together' you decide to listen in?" my voice rose as I continued to interrogate her. "Now, you better tell me what the hell is so damn important that you had to encroach on my privacy or Ah pick up my iPhone and dial 911!"

Penelope looked up at me through the blobs of running mascara.

"Are you really leaving Gamer's Haven?" she sniffled.

"What, did you have your ear up against the door?! And, did you say you have a restraining order?! I don't even want to know why," I groaned as I rubbed my forehead.

"Wait," Jack cracked open a soda can loudly over Penelope's whimpering, "you're quitting your job?"

"I just wanted to hear what it sounds like to have sex with you. Either of you. It was beautiful," she sighed.

"Thane, baby," I turned to him but kept my eyes on her, "go get my ball bat!"

"No, no!" she shrank against the door. "Please, don't hurt me!"

"Seriously, you're leaving that magazine place?" Jack asked again.

"Oh, for fuck sake!" I shouted loudly over the chaos. "You!" I pointed to the sniveling girl, "you sit outside my door and listen to Thane and me having sex without even thinking in your head 'oh, I shouldn't be here'?! How dare you! And you!" I pointed to Jack who stared at me with pure nonchalance, "I'll explain later. You," I turned to Thane, "please, please, PLEASE find me a pair of pants and a tee shirt because I'm tired of standing here screaming at this idiot with my fucking tits and ass on display for everyone to see!"

Jack shrugged and took a seat at the bar, Penelope continued to cry like a baby, and Thane gently draped a blanket over my shoulders before he walked back to the bedroom.

"Now, what the hell is so damn important that you couldn't wait to bug me later?" I glared down at her.

"Did you record The Big Bang Theory Thursday night? I never got to see it," she wiped the running make-up off her face. In utter disbelief, I turned on my heels before I gave in to the urge to slug her in the nose and headed towards my room.

O . . . O . . . O

"Something needs to be done about Penelope," I sighed as I talked to Jason over the phone as I paced the floor in my room. Penelope was sulking on my sofa, with Jack watching her like a hawk, while I attempted to restore my lost temper. I had lost it completely when the truth finally spewed from her mouth. She revealed that Miranda was on her way back from England after learning that Legion had been located. According to Penelope, who I didn't trust any further than I could throw her, Miranda had asked her to "keep an eye on us" while she was away.

"Why the hell would she trust you to give her updates?" I confronted after I lost my temper for a second time. Penelope had gone through half a box of tissues as she continued to blubber and sob. At one point the make-up was running down her face so badly I was tempted to call her Tammy Faye.

"I-I don't know! All I know is that she keeps asking questions about Thane all the time," she sniffled and snorted.

It was at that point that I once again fled for my room, this time alone, and called Jason.

"What happened now?" my friend sighed and I immediately envisioned him rubbing his head. I quickly explained to him how she interrupted my "alone time" and also the reveal of Miranda's return to New York.

"Wait- she was doing what outside your door?" his voice raised a few octaves.

"Dude, don't make me repeat it. I think I'll vomit if I do." I flopped onto my bed and stared at the unkempt cuticles on my fingers. I had a sudden urge to rush to the nearest nail salon and get a full set of long, bright pink acrylic tips in preparation for scratching out Miranda's eyes.

"Fair enough. So, what do you think needs to be done? She is Jeff's host and if Mary's solution is to work we'll need her to be a part of the 'Great Hook-up of 2011' in order to send him and the rest back."

I clenched my eyes shut at the thought. Again, I was reminded that Thane was leaving.

"Yeah, I know. I like Jeff, a lot. He's an awesome guy. But she creeps me the fuck out in a thousand and one ways. Either someone slaps some sense into her so she gets in touch with reality or we send her packing and find someone with an Xbox willing to be a part of the group. Although, I'm afraid if any more people know about what's going on we're going to be dealing with a lot of stupid and hard to dodge questions. It's complicated enough!"

"Don't I know that!" Jason laughed. "How are you?"

I felt my brow drop low over my eyes at the odd question. He usually knew me better than I knew myself and the subject of "how are you feeling" was rarely brought up unless I was ill.

"I'm alive, so I guess I'm fine."

"No, seriously, Chicky. With the whole finding Legion thing, I know you're probably panicking in your mind right now. You doing okay?"

I suddenly felt my proverbial "shields" drop and I closed my eyes. How was I supposed to tell him I was quitting GH? How was I supposed to tell him that my heart was breaking? He may have been my dearest friend but there were still a lot of things that I kept to myself.

"About as good as can be expected," I sighed wearily. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Fine. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut for now. But you need someone to talk to, and you know I'm always here."

"Yeah, I know."

For the rest of the day I went about my business as best as I could despite the gnawing guilt in my gut over my upcoming resignation, the need to admit that truth to my friend, trying not think about Thane leaving, and keeping one eye locked on Penelope who continued to bawl like a kid with a skinned knee. I welcomed a few visitors to my apartment as we waited for Al and Shepard to send a Skype message in regards to finding the last squad mate.

Things seemed to fall back into a normal lull until Penelope's phone beeped. The only way I knew that was because she bounced up from the sofa and crowed out loudly for everyone to hear "my phone beeped!"

"No shit!" I snapped, deciding that my limit for politeness for her had ended. She seemed to ignore my sarcasm as she came over to me and showed me the image of Miranda on her phone's screen.

"Miranda made it in! She's on her way here!" she beamed. Behind me Jack coughed, Zaeed snorted a curse, and Jeff laughed.

"Girl fight!" he rubbed his hands together with glee.

I glanced back at Thane who was talking with Samara at the wall o' windows, a Carl Jung book in his hands.

_Nope,_ I decided, _this time I'm not holding back on the bitch_.

Somehow I had the feeling that Joker's prediction would come true the second Shepard's XO walked through my door.


	31. Chapter 31

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Skype, the Canadian Olympic Hockey Team, Superman, and Greyhound Bus transportation services. This chapter includes: standing up for one's self, acting like mature adults, petty theft, a threat of domestic violence, a spoiled prepubescent boy, a sentient robot, and origami roses.

Chapter 31: Saturday Continued

In my mind, at that moment, there was no one on this planet that I despised more than Miranda "That Fucking Bitch" Lawson. Before her arrival to my home I spent most of my time pacing like a caged animal, letting my disgust for her brew into a fermented hate. I knew I was causing some mixed tension around the group but I was beyond pissed and I didn't care. Penelope's invasion on my privacy might have started the whole anger process but the news of Miranda using her as a spy of sorts sent me over the edge.

And the more I thought about it the madder I became.

I expected Thane to be the soft, gentle voice of reason, the one to hold me to him and whisper "calm, Siha". But I was surprised, within my surge of dark emotion, that he was also angry. And Thane angry was sort of scary. I had been used to him acting so poised and reserved, maybe showing a touch of frustration from time to time, but never anger or hate.

As the call button announced her arrival I watched his dark eyes narrow and a snarl curl on his full lips. He shook his head as he apologized to the Justicar and walked towards me.

"Siha," his voice growled darkly. I waited for the warning, for the calm plea of "be still," but it never came.

"Let her have it."

And with my lover's blessing, and an evil smile crawling up my mouth, I nodded in acceptance.

Miranda walked through the door like nothing was wrong in her world. She looked like a fucking model, dressed in a short black viscose skirt and a Japanese-inspired Kimono top. She looked, of course, perfect.

To me she was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen.

She smiled and greeted everyone with her usual authoritative air. Her blue eyes locked onto mine and I watched her mouth curl into a faint smirk. I felt the muscles in my body tense and my blood grew uncomfortably warm.

"Has Shepard made it to Legion yet?" she asked Mary who was hooking her laptop to my television so everyone could see the geth on the video chat.

"I haven't received a call yet," she mumbled coldly. Miranda wasn't getting the warm reception she was expecting. Once again she looked at me and glared.

"Is there a reason I'm getting the third degree?" she confronted. I felt my nails dig into my palms as I tried to keep calm.

"Nice! Trying to avoid the truth by playing dumb. For someone reported to be a genius you're not very smart," I sneered. Any conversations that were going on suddenly stopped and everyone focused on our confrontation.

"I don't understand," she snorted.

"Oh, sure you do! Or are you going to deny the fact that you were using her as your personal snoop on Thane and me?"

"I was watching everyone in the squad," her arms crossed over her chest defensively. "I am Shepard's second and I am in charge of everyone's well-being."

"Not like this and you know what I mean. It's one thing to keep doing your job in a difficult situation, but to actually have someone watch us so you know when you can move in? And don't shake your fucking head, bitch. Penelope showed me the text messages you've been sharing," I could feel my voice shake as my loathing for her continued to rise.

Miranda looked down at Penelope as her face turned white. Penelope hung her head with shame.

"They found me," she admitted quietly. Miranda looked back up at me, guilt written all over her face.

"Waiting for the right opportunity, huh? Waiting for something to happen so you could console him and seduce him into your arms, because that's been your plan all along. I'll give you credit, though. You are one persistent cunt."

Jack began to cough loudly as she choked on her drink, followed by Jason patting her back.

"I already told you, you won!" Miranda shot back.

"Yeah, I remember you saying that. But you're a sore loser. And you can't stand the fact that someone has the upper hand on you. So you played dirty, you got someone who you shouldn't have trusted in the first place to be your little confidante. I may not have liked you from the very beginning, Miranda, but I did respect you. Of course, my respect probably means shit to you," I shrugged.

She looked over at me and regarded Thane sadly.

"We, I thought, I was sure we had something, Thane," she let her voice soften.

"You were delusional, Miranda. I did or said nothing of the sort to give you that impression. And, if by some chance I did, I apologize. But you and I will never be together," he said coldly.

She shook her head and I watched as tears began to fill her eyes.

"But what about Nos Astra? What about you promising to protect me from my father's spies?"

"I made that promise based on the contract I made with Shepard. I vowed to work for him, therefore I promised to protect his crew. I would've made that claim to anyone in distress. You are no exception."

"And her?" she pointed an accusing finger towards me, "Is she the exception?"

"She protects me, Miranda!" he snapped. "She is the reason I am still alive in this world! And for that I owe her every ounce of my being!"

"Hah!" she scoffed and wiped her eyes. "You talk about her like she's your wife."

"I could be," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I waited for Thane to correct the odd statement that rushed from my mouth but instead he placed his hand in mine and squeezed it.

"But only Irikah is his wife," Penelope interjected. "It says so in the game."

Calmly, I walked to my closet and grabbed my handbag. From it I pulled my checkbook and I began to write upon a check.

"How much did it cost to get you from New Orleans to here, Penelope?"

"Um, about three hundred. Why?"

I quickly finished the document and ripped it from the book. I tossed the check onto her lap and waited for a reaction.

"There's a check for four hundred. Take it, cash it, and get the fuck out of my sight. If I ever hear of you mentioning the Normandy squad and what all has happen I will deny it and contact your local authorities. I will claim that you have been stalking me and they will put you in prison. I seriously doubt they wouldn't believe me. Do you understand?"

Penelope looked at the check in her hands and began to cry again.

"What about Jeff?"

"He's no longer your concern.

"Jason, take her to your apartment and help her gather her bags. Make sure she gets her ass on that Greyhound bus."

My friend motioned for the girl to stand up and they quickly left my home. I focused back on Miranda.

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" she hissed at me.

"That's not the worst thing I've been called," I nodded. "So, here's the deal. You can stay here for the moment and watch the conversation we're about to have and keep your damn trap shut or you can leave right now. If you stay here, keep in mind that this will be the very last time you step foot into my home. You are no longer welcome here. I don't think anyone present will protest my decision."

Miranda agreed to stay and not say a word. The "party" resumed back to a somewhat normal degree. I felt drained from all the anger and fury I tried to control but I also felt relieved. I now had the issue with finding Joker a new host to help send him back. I sunk down to the cushions at the wall o' windows and sighed wearily. A glass of water was offered before me and I looked up to see Kasumi smiling lightly.

"You alright?" she asked with honest concern.

"Yeah, I think so," I nodded. I happened to glance down and immediately spotted the dark blue suede Versaces that had been missing from my closet on her feet.

"Uh, Kas?"

"Yes?" she grinned innocently. I laughed to myself and shook my head.

"Nevermind."

O . . . O . . . O

The Skype call alert played and everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the television screen flash as Al's full bearded face made an appearance. Mary placed her laptop on the coffee table so he could get a good view of the majority of the room and its inhabitants.

"Well, we made it," Al began. "And Legion seems to be alright. But we do have one problem."

The camera roved around and landed on the image of a boy, about twelve years old, wearing a Canadian Olympic hockey team jersey and a very deep frown on his face.

"And how is this kid a problem?" Garrus spoke up. Again Al moved his iPad to his face and began to speak.

"He's threatened to call the local police if we take Legion. His parents are understanding to our cause but they don't know how to play Mass Effect. And he's refusing to be a part of the group."

"Why do we care if he calls the police? They wouldn't believe him, would they?" Jason asked.

"Well," Al sighed, "that's the problem. He's threatening to tell them that we are holding him and his parents hostage. And if they hear that claim, even if it is false, they send the cops anyway. And we have here a man with no ID and a very suspicious-looking robot." The camera panned over to show Shepard standing next to Legion. I rubbed my head wearily and tried to think of a solution. Nothing was coming to mind.

"Actually," Tali stood up from her seat on the sofa, "there may be something I can do."

I watched her walk over to my laptop on the bar and begin typing. I didn't even want to ask what she was up to.

"You're not taking him!" the boy's voice came over the speakers. "I found him, he's mine! And he'll be punished for contacting you!"

The camera focused once again on the boy, shaking enough so it was difficult to focus on the TASER in his hands. Chaos began to ensue.

"Jimmy!" a disconnected feminine voice admonished. "Where on Earth did you get that?!"

"Son," Jimmy's father moved into the picture, a tall, thin, average-looking man with a sprinkling of gray hair in his short, dark tresses, and held out his hand to the boy. "Give me that TASER."

"No!" Jimmy backed into a corner and held the weapon out with warning. "He's my geth! I swear, I'll call the police! And I'll tell them that you've been beating me!"

"Oh, boy," Kasumi groaned, reflecting just about everyone's view of the current situation.

"Mary," Tali spoke over the loud shouting through the speakers, "Ask Al what his current address is. I may be able to temporarily block any telephone and cellular signal from those particular numbers. That'll keep him from calling the authorities."

I turned around to regard her in surprise.

"You can do that?"

She nodded briefly as she continued to type.

"Very easily. No offense, but the satellite input and output you currently use is rather primitive compared to the signals used in our time line. Easy to hack and very few fire walls to block any foreign and unrecognized codes that disrupt the signals. All I have to do is confuse a few messages, which will give Al and Shepard enough time to get Legion out of the house, and then restore the original signal. No one will suspect a thing. It'll resemble what a solar flare does to electronic devices."

"Wow!" was all I could manage to utter.

"I'm sending you the information, Tali," Mary reported. "Al, did you catch all of that? As soon as the signal is dropped you and Shepard need to get Legion out of there. I'll call Joaquin's pilot friend to let him know you're on the way. You are still using the private air field where you landed earlier, correct?"

"Yes, ma'am," Al replied.

"Jimmy, give me the TASER, son," Jimmy's dad continued to coax the weapon from the stubborn boy.

"No!"

"Probability of Jimmy winning this particular confrontation; 1087.235 to one against," Legion's mechanical voice said.

"You hear that, son? You have some pretty steep odds there," Jimmy's dad again.

"Signal to be dropped in three, two, one, and activated! They need to go now!" Tali motioned to Mary.

"Get Legion and hit the road, Al."

A white sheet was quickly draped over the geth while Jimmy cursed and threw down his iPhone, stomping angrily on the device. The TASER was grabbed from his hands by Shepard and immediately disassembled. Jimmy cursed again only to be admonished by his mother in a loud, high-pitched shriek. Al's face reappeared on the screen while the drama continued in the background.

"I gotta log off, but I'll call when we hit the road. Ma'am, sorry about the sheet."

And with that message the screen went black. The tension eased in the room some but we still waited with bated breaths for Al to call again.

O . . . O . . . O

"They're on the plane and will be here in about five hours," Mary said as she hung up her phone. I nodded and rubbed my head. Now, not only was I faced with finding one new person in order to help get Joker back to the Normandy but two due to a bratty little twelve year old asshole who thought he owned Legion. I didn't even want to ask why the parents didn't do something. I felt another migraine coming on from all the over-thinking.

It was also getting late and I stifled a yawn in hopes of keeping myself awake. Thane came up behind me and gently massaged my shoulders as he kissed my neck.

"You look tired, Siha. It has been quite an eventful day for you."

"Yes, it has," I agreed and leaned back into him. "I want to go to bed, but I don't want to be rude, either. This may be one of the last times we get to see everyone."

"No one will think ill of you if you wish to get some rest," he turned me around and placed a hand on my cheek. "Go lay down. If anyone asks I shall explain," he kissed me.

Giving in to exhaustion I nodded and stumbled towards my bedroom. The noise had quieted down as I closed the door and I flopped down onto my bed, my eyes closed. A moment later I rolled around and cracked one eye open, then flared both wide as I focused on the strangest thing. I reached out a hand and grabbed the delicate object, laughing out loud.

It was a bright red and green origami rose on my pillow. Beneath it was a note written on my Superman grocery list paper from my refrigerator.

"Thanks for the shoes. They'll make a great addition to my collection. Love, Kas."


	32. Chapter 32

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: New York University, Starbucks coffee, the San Diego Comic Con, and Christian Louboutin footwear. The following chapter has lots of mixed emotions. Be prepared for some mood swings.

Chapter 32: Monday and Tuesday

I woke up with a start, my hands on my belly. I was expecting to feel life inside moving and turning about.

But there was nothing. My skin was not taut and nothing behind it spoke of another soul just beneath the surface. Still partially asleep, I rushed to the bathroom in a haze of panic and fear. I knelt at my toilet and vomited the bile that was in my gut. My hands were still on my lower abdomen and they were shaking violently.

"Siha!" Thane whispered as he pulled me back. I clutched to him, sobbing brokenly.

"The baby! Where's the baby? Where is my baby?!"

"Wh-what baby?" he regarded me with confusion. I reached up and stroked his face, feeling the cool of his scales beneath my fingertips and for a moment I felt myself drift into a trance.

"Thane, _ya fanalatha_," I breathed. He blinked in surprise then stared at me in shock.

"What did you just call me?"

I opened my mouth to repeat the word but I immediately forgot it and I slammed my jaw shut. I sat up and began to wipe the tears from my eyes, feeling the need to rinse my mouth of the vomit residue.

"I- I don't know. I don't even- why am I in the bathroom?" I looked around with utter loss.

"You must've been having a dream. You came in here and started crying about a baby."

I snorted in disbelief and tried to stand up, feeling light-headed. He quickly caught me, keeping me from falling.

"A baby! Really?" I ended up leaning over the sink and staring down at my white-knuckled hands. He turned me around to face him, his dark eyes staring deep into me.

"Sara, are you alright?"

I dropped my sarcastic facade and crumbled into his arms.

"I'm not sure anymore, babe. I'm just not sure anymore."

O . . . O . . . O

Monday wasn't exactly the best day of my career. Matter of fact, aside from the day I was forced to work with my ex on the console report, it was probably the worst day. I walked into Al's office, nervous but also determined, and placed the letter of my resignation on his desk.

"Sara," he leaned back in his chair and stared at me with slight shock. "You worked very hard to get to where you are here. You became a senior reviewer very shortly after you starting working here simply because I had faith in you. And you're wanting to walk away from this? Why?"

"You know why, Al," I said quietly. "You know what happens next year. I can't be around for that."

"I don't have to give you ME 3 to play and review, y'know-"

"You really think no one here is going to talk about it? It's been one of the most anticipated games of 2012. Look, I know that on the outside it doesn't make sense to you for me to leave. But I have to go. I can't stay here and watch the people I have come to know and love become pawns on the television screens for our demented pleasures. Especially Thane."

Al stared down at the letter and sighed a long breath as he shook his head.

"Does Jason know this?"

"No," I answered shortly. "I haven't told anyone but Thane."

"And there's nothing I can say to make me change your mind?"

"I'm sorry, Al."

I left the office, my two weeks notice on his desk, feeling sick.

The day only got worse. Jason sat at his desk singing a random, happy song as he typed his story on the upcoming San Diego Comic Con. I hated the fact I was about to ruin his day. Maybe even worse; ruin our friendship.

"Jay, I need to talk to you."

The bright glow in his eyes faded as he looked up at me. He didn't even try joking. He knew something was up.

"Um, okay."

I swallowed the bitter taste in my throat and tried talking, but the tears that were sneaking up my eyes made my voice crack.

"I'm quitting," I blurted out without warning. He stared at me void of emotion for a second, a very long second, but I watched as his brow knit low over his eyes and the color from his cheeks drained.

"You're stupid," he spat coldly. I rolled my eyes, causing the tears to fall down my face.

"No, Jason, I'm not. I-"

"Yeah, you are! You think you can just up and leave and it wouldn't affect anyone? This isn't a job anymore, Sara! This has become our family! Those people in those offices, they see you as some sort of avatar for gamers and geeks everywhere. They look up to you. Hell, I looked up to you. I had from the moment we met during the pre-fresh tour at NYU! You were the first person who didn't treat me like a freak. Have you any idea how much of an impact that made on my life?"

I stood in the center of the office unable to think of anything to say to him.

"This wasn't easy for me to decide," I managed to say when I finally found the strength to speak.

"But you did. Maybe you should start deciding how many boxes you're going to need to haul your crap home. That won't be easy, either," he retorted. I stared at my friend, shocked by his harsh words. He had never hurt me like that. I grabbed my handbag and started for the door.

"I figured you would be the most understanding, Jason. I'm sorry I was wrong."

"That's the problem; you thought," he sneered at me again.

"Fuck you, Altman!" I snapped and fled from the office. I didn't go home. In fact, I ended up at the nearby park and watched the high school kids perform complex tricks on their skateboards. For a while I was alone, until the familiar color of beige came into my peripheral with an offering of iced coffee.

"Let him cool down, he'll come to his senses. Here," Mary handed me the green-logoed cup. "Venti iced caramel macchiato, skim milk, extra shot."

I smiled weakly at her as she sat down next to me on the bench.

"Thanks. You found out, huh?"

"I assumed for a while you would be leaving. I am normally right in my assumptions. As for Jason, he knew as well but didn't want to admit it to himself. We have been talking back and forth. He is worried about you. Very worried. He's afraid you'll do something drastic when Thane leaves," she sipped from her smoothie.

"Then you know why I have to go," I muttered.

"I do. I admit, it will be difficult to see Tali and Garrus leave but I also know that they must. They can't survive here in this time and place. They are needed elsewhere. I could say the same about Thane, but for you circumstances are different. You've developed amorous feelings for him, and he for you. And the fact that he is not well makes it more difficult for you to logically remain at your job. There is a great chance that he will not survive the ME 3 campaign. And you know that. I know that," she shrugged absently.

"I feel like I just lost my best friend," I played with the straw.

"No, I don't think so. Jason is just angry. He'll get over it. He loves you too much to stay angry at you. He worries about you more than George. Now, if you slept with George you might lose your friendship with him," she smiled and I found myself laughing.

"Wow! Mary Brewster made a joke."

"I'm glad you caught that. Not many people can grasp my humor. And I'm hilarious. At least that is what the particle physics team used to say when I was still at MIT."

"I still can't figure out why you still work for a stupid gamers' rag when you can travel all over the world to work with amazing scientists," I smiled at her.

"Wanna know the truth?"

"Sure," I nodded.

"Scientists are assholes, some of them, anyway. They think they know everything and have it all figured out. You guys, the gamers and the geeks and comic book junkies, you love everyone and accept people for who they are. And I like that. I'm not a big 'people person' but you and your type have made me feel accepted. You're my best friend."

My heart swelled with love and warmth for the strange woman next to me and I wondered if she would let me hug her. I was shocked when I found myself in her arms instead.

"I'm going to miss you, but I know that I will see you again, so I'm not too sad. We can hang out and go shoe shopping. I want to know how you are able to wear those kind of shoes," she pointed down to the bright pink sandals on my feet. I nodded and laughed in acceptance.

"You got a deal."

O . . . O . . . O

Jason made amends by showing up at my apartment the next morning with George holding a large bag from Barney's. George was wearing a lovely Hermes scarf and an annoyed expression for his partner.

"Go on, Jason! You tell her you're sorry!" he prompted my friend who wore the same look on his face like my brother did when he broke the neighbor's window with the baseball.

"Sara, I'm sorry," Jason said with earnest. I crossed my arms over my chest, still a little hurt by his words from the previous day. "And I really didn't mean to say those things."

"Yes, you did," I said calmly. "And, yeah, you hurt me but I don't blame you."

In background Jack was crossing the room with her cup of morning coffee. She stopped for a second to shoot Jason a scathing glare.

"George," she nodded in greeting.

"Hi, Jack!" he waved merrily.

"Asshole," she spat at Jason then went on her way back to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"You told Jack about our argument?"

"No," I welcomed them into the apartment. "I was talking to Thane. Jack has hearing capabilities comparable to Superman and heard everything. She's probably listening to everything we're saying right now."

"Where is Thane? I have something for him," George began to dig through the bag.

"Not feeling good. He had another attack last night and had to use the respirator. He's back in the bedroom sleeping," I sighed.

"Man, I feel like an even bigger douchebag now," Jason flopped onto a barstool.

"That's because you were acting like one, sweetie," George handed me the bag as he neatly folded a pair of soft linen pants on the bar. "These are for Thane. I know he likes loose trousers to lounge around in and I just couldn't pass these up."

I stared into the bag and felt my jaw drop. I knew exactly what was in the bright lacquer-red box but when I lifted the lid my heart jumped. They were the shoes I had been wanting for months. The "I Did It" shoes I was going to get for the Consumer's Report story that was posted clear back in February and changed my mind, and they were finally in my hands.

"George, I can't accept these," I started to put them back into the box.

"George didn't get them, I did," Jason admitted. I stared at him in stunned silence. "You have been sacrificing your time and your home for everyone and doing so little for yourself. I also wanted to apologize for being the ass hat yesterday."

I came around the bar and met my friend with a strong hug.

"Jay, I don't know what to say," I choked on my emotions.

"You can start by saying 'Jay, I accept your apology and you are the most awesomest bestest friend I ever had'," he teased.

"Yeah, I accept your apology," I smiled at him and offered a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm gonna still call you an ass hat!" Jack shouted from her room. "With a big fucking purple feather!"

George burst out laughing while Jason just stared at the still closed door in wonder, shaking his head. I nodded my head as I picked up my cup of coffee.

"See what I mean about the hearing thing?"


	33. Chapter 33

ME: A Gamer Girl's Memoir

By: Nerdymum

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Cabo Wabo premium tequila and Coca Cola. Long chapter is long.

Chapter 33: Tuesday Evening into Thursday Night

"Oh, my God! You weren't kidding! You weren't kidding, Dad! This is awesome!" Ned was nearly bouncing out of his Adidas sneakers as he stared at Thane in utter hero worship. I started to turn on my heels, not wanting to be a part of the crazy fanboy seizures a la Ned.

"I'll just go over here," I muttered as I eyed Al's sofa in the distance. However, to my shock, Thane had grabbed onto my shoulder and refused to let me leave.

"I think you should stay here," he grumbled as he kept me right at his side. I smiled and realized I had no choice. I also tried not to laugh when I realized, again, that despite the fact that Thane was an assassin and completely capable of taking care of himself in bad situations awkward people acting awkwardly made him uneasy. I couldn't blame him. The Penelope Incident left everyone on edge and wary of new faces in the group.

Al shrugged and smiled apologetically at Thane who regarded my boss' son with speculation. I had a feeling that if Ned made one accidentally wrong move he would find himself in a choke hold.

"Ned, let's turn it down a notch," Al suggested as he noticed Thane's eyes began to narrow. Ned took a step back and tried to drop his smile as he fidgeted with his hands.

"Sorry. I'm just- just, this is so awesome! I mean, when I played ME2 I took Thane on all my missions. I loved it when he, er, you said 'Amonkira be praised!'" he giggled.

I watched as Thane twitched his lips into a weak smile while his hand squeezed mine tighter.

"Indeed…" the drell replied quietly. I had a feeling he was silently praying at that moment. After Ned's moment of hero worship he walked over to the group of squad mates and joined in on the unknown conversation.

The geth was standing quietly in the corner, not making much of his presence known to the group. On the way over to Al's home I asked Thane for his opinion of him.

"He has proven himself a valuable member to the squad, from what I can tell. He saved our lives on the Derelict Reaper, and if it hadn't been for him I would've been vaporized as the ship fell towards the star. I have a great amount of respect for the geth he represents."

I met him moments after I walked into Al's home, a very nice, newly refurbished Brownstone in Brooklyn Heights. Legion stood around six feet tall, about as tall as Thane, and didn't look like the hunk of metal I expected. "His" eyes flickered an iridescent light as he watched me walk towards him. Al was keeping the geth in his home and I understood why. If anyone actually paid attention to the huge gaping hole in his chest it would've been very clear that there was no human inside dressed as a robot.

"Davis, Sara Lynn," the mechanical voice sounded as the facial flaps flared slightly. "Current employment Gamer's Haven monthly periodical magazine. Identity created September 28th, 1978. United States Social Security number 22-"

"Woah, wait a minute," I threw up my hands to stop him. The geth immediately halted his communication and waited patiently. "Identity created?"

"Affirmative. Geth do not quite understand the organic concept of what you would call 'birth'. We recognize the status of gaining an individual name and number as a form of recognition. We wish to understand the process of conception and where it fits in with what you would call 'life'."

"Right," I nodded slowly and returned to Thane's side just as Ned began his fanboy spouting.

Al wanted a party for the squad before they left and while all the hosts immediately agreed with resounding approval I remained silent. I sat at the bar, closed off from the surrounding conversation by trying to ignore everything being said. I felt an elbow jolt me out of my cloudy thoughts and I looked up to see everyone else staring at me with open concern.

"What?" I replied annoyed.

"You haven't said a damn word all afternoon," Jason said. I sighed and slumped weakly on the barstool. It had been decided that Saturday we send the squad back to the Normandy. Al's son would be Legion's portal while George would act as Joker's. Stephanie also took on the role as Zaeed's portal. Jason and Al set up two extra games saved in the exact spot needed to open the wormhole, as directed by Mary, which meant everything was ready to go. All we had to do was start up the consoles.

"A party, here, yeah. I heard everything," I mumbled weakly. Al pulled me to the side away from the rest of the hosts.

"I did some changing around your schedule. I sent a note to HR to go ahead and give you your vacation next week plus tomorrow through Friday as your personal days. All I need you to do is write a note we can publish in the magazine next month as your 'Farewell' to the readers. After that you will be free to walk out the door."

I nodded and quietly thanked him.

"However, and I do promise you this, Sara, if you ever want to come back I'd gladly welcome you. Although, I'm sure that if that ever does happen it would be quite a while."

"Yeah, I know, Al. Thank you, though." He clapped me on the back and smiled kindly at me. I watched him walk back over to the group then stole a glance over at Thane who was chatting with Joker, smiling at whatever the pilot had said.

Not much else happened for the next couple of days until Thursday rolled around. I tried not to mope about but it was difficult. Thane, also, tried keeping a positive attitude as did Mordin who expressed happily that he was looking forward to returning to the ship. He missed his laboratory. However, Jack and Grunt showed bouts of melancholy. Grunt stayed in his corner for hours at a time cradling the still pristine doll. Jack paced the floors, both in her room and in the main part of the apartment, and grumbled in complaint about "that fucking boat".

On Thursday Katie decided to come and spend the evening with Grunt while the "grown-ups" piled into George's Range Rover, with Mordin and Thane disguised under hoodies (well, it was easier than trying to explain to the general public that we had two aliens in their presence) despite it being in mid 80 degree weather, and headed across the Brooklyn Bridge for Al's home. On the way to the party Mordin proudly announced a discovery he came across that would allow Tali and Garrus to enjoy the event in inebriated splendor just like everyone else was about to. He whipped out a bottle from his front pocket, smiling almost foolishly, and shook the clear liquid inside the translucent plastic bottle with small green leaves sloshing in the solution. I quickly recognized what he held and I wasn't sure if I should've laughed or been offended that he raided both my medicine cabinet and my small window-based herb garden.

"Isopropyl alcohol," I muttered dully. "And, um, is that peppermint in it?"

"Assumption correct!" he chirped happily and placed the rubbing alcohol back into the pocket. "Isopropyl alcohol harsh substance, considered deadly to most levo-based organisms, but to dextro-amino life forms, as in Garrus and Tali, works as a stimulant similar to ethanol."

"Okay, but what does the mint have to do with anything?"

"Faint traces of dextro-amino acids found in mint. Should be enough for Garrus and Tali to enjoy the flavor of this solution. Believe I may have discovered a new cocktail!"

"Mmm! First Aid Mojitos!" Jason smiled.

O . . . O . . . O

"Let's get this party started!" Kas announced as she entered Al's home, a bottle of vodka in one hand and my blue Versace's on her feet. Trailing her was her normally quiet and not social host, a college student by the name of Bill. I had met him once before but never got much of a chance to talk to him. And Bill was a very quiet sort anyway and I didn't want to make him nervous by forcing him to socialize. It made me wonder just how much torture he went through with the very talkative Kasumi in his presence.

Al had obviously planned for a huge blow-out by the look of the well-stocked bar and trays full of food sitting out. I took my place among the group of hosts while Thane disappeared somewhere in the squad. Most likely he had found Samara and decided to talk philosophy with her. I scanned the crowd to see who all had arrived, slightly relieved that Miranda hadn't shown up. Yet.

She did pass on a message to Al through her host that she was on her way over to join the one-night celebration. I crossed my fingers behind my back that her flight had been delayed. Or cancelled. But when the door opened to reveal her perfect figure waltz in, her nearly perfect host following, I immediately eyed the bottle of Cabo Wabo in the bar and proceeded to dull my senses.

Two hours later, with the party in full swing, I found myself sitting at said bar, a shot glass in one hand and a couple of spent lime wedges on a napkin next to a salt shaker. I had been chatting up with Mary who spoke with great excitement about an upcoming project at CERN and she was requested to be a part of the team.

"But that would mean you have to quit the magazine," I nibbled on another lime wedge.

"Not exactly," she smiled, her pink cheeks suggesting that the fuzzy navel she had been nursing was beginning to work on her. "I can continue to work on certain MMO games while I'm in Switzerland, sending my reviews via emails to Al. I won't have to leave."

"My congratulations, then," I lifted my freshly filled shot glass and toasted to her new career. Mary nodded in thanks and let her focus land on Garrus who was laughing loudly at Shepard.

"Looks like Mordin's Rubbing Alcohol Juleps are a success," I mused.

"Agreed. Where's your other half? I haven't seen him for a while."

I shrugged absently and shoved my glasses back up my nose.

"Dunno. He's probably busy talking to someone. I'm not gonna bother him."

"I would!" she snorted. I looked up from my glass to see her smiling slyly, causing me to crack up laughing.

O . . . O . . . O

After about the fourth shot of tequila the room began to spin slightly and the music sounded a lot better than before. I found myself tapping my toes and even moving some to the beat. Everyone was laughing or talking or, in Tali and Kasumi's case, dancing to the sounds of Stevie Wonder over Al's sound system. I stood up from my seat at the bar, wobbly at first until I figured out which foot was which, and began walking towards the dancers. At that second I realized what had happened.

I was drunk.

Not completely smashed but I felt no pain and wanted to join in the fun with those two. I nearly reached my destination but was thwarted from my goal of tripping on my feet as a hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me away. I nearly fell to my knees but was deftly caught and held against the rock hard chest of my beloved. I giggled and tried to hide my inebriated face from his stare by turning my cheek towards him. He apparently took that as an invitation to kiss it and began whispering in my ear.

"I've been watching you all evening, Siha," he teased my earlobe with his teeth. "You seem to be enjoying yourself."

I snorted then roved my eyes towards him and grinned like the drunken fool I had become.

"What's not to enjoy?" I snaked my hands around his waist to drift into his back pockets where I gave a little squeeze. He chuckled slightly and hooked his thumbs through the front loops of my jeans, pulling me tighter to him. I watched as he blinked slowly, almost lazily, which was something I wasn't used to seeing him do. He gave me a soft kiss on my lips and that's when I tasted the alcohol on his tongue.

"You're drunk!" I accused with a giggle as he moved his mouth down my neck.

"As are you, my love. I can tell by how you are slurring your words," he nipped at my throat playfully. I gasped as he continued to kiss my neck, his hands discreetly drifting down to tease my groin.

"Thane, there are other people in this room," my eyes fluttered shut as I stifled a moan. A low purr vibrated from his chest as he pulled away to look at me. I could see the dilated pupils deep in the dark green rings. His throat was slightly puffed, flushed a bright red, and his lips had plumped from kissing me.

"This is a fairly large home. Surely we could find a place to be alone for a few moments," he grinned suggestively.

"I'm sure someone will notice our disappearance," I whispered as he brushed his lips against mine.

"Sara, don't deny me time from you when we have so little left. I love you. I want you," he murmured as he pressed his very apparent arousal against my belly. I let my sight drift downward and tried to focus my blurred vision on the tight bulge below. A lazy smile crawled up my lips and in my uninhibited state decided that a few moments alone with him, despite the fact that we were in my boss' home, was exactly what I needed. I stumbled slightly as I grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs of Al's Brownstone in search for an empty room.

The music and laughter quieted as I pulled him inside the only room that didn't look like anyone had place a claim to it. Flopping down onto the bed I clumsily kicked off my shoes as I struggled with my shirt. I heard him chuckle as his weight bowed the mattress beneath me, causing me to roll slightly to my left. One hand caught me around the waist and the other helped me remove the shirt only to toss it carelessly to the floor. I found myself under him, a deep kiss forcing me to breathe him in. My arms draped over his shoulders as I traced the swells and lines of his muscles beneath the cotton poplin.

The prequel to the sex was less practiced and liquid, a sign of our inebriated state. His hands fumbled with my bra, causing him to actually curse at one point when he couldn't unhook the back. He eventually removed the confining garment, throwing it across the room with disgust. I smiled as I sat up on my knees and helped him unbutton his shirt while he began to caress my breasts. In a failed attempt to be seductive, I tried pulling down his jeans only to jerk on the waist with too much force which caused me to promptly fall off of the bed onto my back. Thane burst out laughing as he bent down to help me back up. I gingerly touched the rug burn on my left shoulder and wondered if I had officially killed any bit of desire in him.

"Are you alright, Siha?" he smiled as he checked the injury. I grumbled an acknowledgment of my ability to function somewhat normally, arms crossing over my chest. Instead of calling it quits he pulled my back against his chest and continued to kiss my neck. I quickly forgot my spill and allowed him to coax my libido back to life. The drug from his kiss mixed with the alcohol and the spinning room seemed to explode around me into a burst of tangible colors. My skin drank in the electric touches from his trailing fingertips. I was forced onto my back with my legs opened in acceptance of his nearing approach. His lips trailed down my body, taking moments to stop at my breasts, my stomach, and ended further down which caused me to slam my eyes shut from the pleasure he induced. When I reopened them, lost in a haze of inebriation and ecstasy, I ended up focusing on a flash of gold in the dark. I raised my head slightly, narrowing my near-sighted vision on the object on the small stand next to the bed, and my mouth dropped open.

"Oh, God…" I tensed as I regarded the small cup-shaped trophy staring me in the face. The engraved red metallic plate on the wooden stand read "First Prize: New York State Science Fair. Edward Theodore Wilkins."

"Oh, my God!" I squeaked and completely lost track of the oral sex below.

"What? What is wrong?" Thane asked in a worried tone, his hand going to my hair.

"Oh, fucking hell, we're in Ned's room! This is Ned's bed and I'm letting you go down on me on it!" I panicked. Thane pulled me closer to him and chuckled. He kissed the top of my head, a reassuring motion as I continued to stare at the little trophy from the previous year. I had forgotten about the conversation Al had with a few of us on how proud he was that Ned had won in the state science fair for his category. He received a healthy scholarship for the feat.

"Does Ned still reside here?" his gentle touch went back to a heated caress down my chest to brush over my left breast.

"I think so. He was living in a dorm during his classes. Oh, God! The poor kid is probably still a virgin!" As my sight adjusted to the dark, and to the sudden sobriety from the slap into reality, I scanned the walls and saw the gamer posters on the wall (one of them being Mass Effect, of course, with Thane crouched and ready with a pistol in his grip) and the scads of still packaged action figures.

Thane pushed off the bed, as nonchalant as it was possible to be without a single stitch of clothing on his being, and stood in the center of the room.

"So, no bed, then. Very well," he shrugged then grabbed the comforter I was currently balled on and slid it, along with me, onto the floor. He crawled onto the blanket, like a focused hunter, and hovered above me. A determined fire glowed in his eyes. This night wasn't going to end until he got what he wanted. He grabbed onto my hips, slinging my legs over his shoulders and grinned like the devil he was that night.

"We shall remain off the bed," he purred and went back to the same place before I so rudely interrupted his "work" with my panic. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt his tongue and mouth move me towards my first orgasm. I bit on my forearm to keep from crying out just in case someone downstairs did happen to hear what we were up to.

"You're rather sensitive tonight," the black velvet voice rumbled through my ringing ears. I clasped a hand over my quickly beating heart and tried to catch my breath. All I could do was giggle awkwardly and nod. A second later he had wriggled his way up behind me, tongue and lips attacking my shoulder and neck. I tried to gather myself together as my legs still shook. The firm tug of his hand grabbing a thatch of my hair made me gasp and I felt his second hand come around my throat. I trembled as his nails scratched down my skin alerting the goose bumps to rise all over. He ground himself against my backside, slick and ribbed flesh pushing against my still pulsing sex. My head was turned to meet my mouth against his while his other free-roaming hand trailed down to grab my thigh.

"Tonight may be our last night alone, Siha," he whispered as he slung my leg over his. I shook my head as much as I could, deep in denial of that statement.

"Don't remind me," I grumbled.

He loosened his grip on my hair and stared me deep in the eyes.

"It is not my intention to upset you with that fact. I don't wish for these last few moments to be filled with remorse nor do I mean to depress you. It is not easy for me to admit it either. But I want to be able to look upon these last few moments and know that I held back nothing for you. I only ask you oblige me the same."

I nodded briefly in agreement. He had a point; if this was, indeed, the last night we could be together in this way I wanted to make it count. He deserved it and so did I. I felt him enter me and a rush of hot surged through my muscles. I gasped loudly as each ridged inch slid in. He groaned in reply, taking a brief second to remain still before slowly pumping in and out.

Sex with him was usually good, actually very good, but with an unspoken desperation we went after each other without abandon. I forgot about the party downstairs and the fact that anyone could've walked through that door to find us deep in the throes of passion or could've heard our loud moans and groans through the floor boards. He obviously didn't care as he changed our position and rolled me to sit on top of him.

A rich purr trilled off his tongue as he kissed me fully. He began to whisper against my throat as he lapped up the salt from my skin. Despite my haze I found myself suddenly understanding about half of what he said. He had only taught me a few words when I asked but I realized, in that odd second, that I could understand him. Perhaps it was the drug from his mouth, perhaps it was the fact I was drunk, or perhaps it was a combination of both. At that point I didn't want to know the answer.

"You taste of the Sea," he murmured at my throat. I opened my mouth to respond but found a finger on my lips. I opened my eyes to watch his hand move down and hover over mine which rested over his heart. A faint blue glow began to form around his fingers, almost resembling the heat waves you see coming off a hot grill, curling and snaking around his wrist. The hairs on my skin rose and I immediately felt a strong static-like sensation zip up my arm. I tried laughing but realized that instead of giggling I was sobbing. His arms wrapped around me gently as I wept on his shoulder. The heated passion had been swept away and replaced by the sorrow I desperately fought for days. As much as I wanted to beg him to stay with me I said nothing.

He pulled me back and wiped my face dry, his own eyes wet, and tried to smile. He swallowed hard and began to speak.

"Promise me you'll find happiness again," his voice caught on his breath.

I cried on his shoulder again, holding tightly as we rocked back and forth. Moments later, and some sobering up, we began redressing in order to return to the party. I had a second of panic as I realized my underwear was lost somewhere in the dark of the room. He was about to help me search for the missing article when the door to the room opened.

We had been caught. I felt my cheeks heat up and my heart dropped down to my knees as I focused on the shocked face of the room's owner. I grabbed Thane's shirt out of his hands and promptly covered my still nude bottom-half as I pasted a very guilty smile on my face. The can of Coke that was in the young man's hand had dropped to the floor and began to puddle and fizz at his feet. Thane pulled me against his side and kissed the top of my head as I waved with shame.

"Hey, Ned!"


	34. Chapter 34

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: iPhone and Apple products, and Xbox. I apologize in advance for the very sad chapter.

Chapter 34: Friday and Saturday

_ I stood on the edge of the beach and looked down into the sand. I laughed to myself and wondered why I even bothered. I hadn't even known him for very long but I felt something. I looked back at the city and knew I would have to return soon. I stooped down and began to run my fingers through the sand. I stepped back to examine my work, laughing again. No one actually believed that this worked but everyone did it. I looked down the shoreline and spotted a few others doing the same thing as me, mostly children with their hearts full of young love giggling as they traced the symbols into the wet earth._

_ I shook my head; the hood of my jacket now soaked with warm rain, and stepped away from what I had done. A quick motion alms was offered to the ocean, churning and pulsing against the horizon. Another old habit that no one had faith in but still did it as a way of paying respect. I walked back towards the city, back to the sanctuary of warmth and shelter from the elements, not knowing if I would be granted a blessing by my act or not…_

Goodbyes were never easy for me. As a matter of fact I often refused to say the word unless I was absolutely sure that it would be the last time I ever saw that person. On Friday, after I pushed past the horrible hangover I suffered that morning, I crept downstairs in Al's home to meet up with the rest of the group, somewhat satisfied that over half were dealing with their own aftermath of partying too hard. Al's wife was kind enough to provide breakfast but after another odd dream which left me confused and my stomach protesting the scent of any kind of food I politely declined. I settled for coffee instead.

The mood was an odd combination of dread and excitement. Samara and Jacob would be leaving soon, Joaquin's pilot friend offering to take them back to their respective temporary homes. Miranda and her host also planned on returning to England, causing no reaction from me. When most of my headache faded I readied myself to return to my apartment.

A hand touched my shoulder and when I looked up Kasumi was standing next to me, the blue shoes in her hands. Tears were welling in her dark eyes as she gently placed them in my arms. I opened my mouth to protest.

"As pretty as they are I don't think they would go with my gear. So, you can have them back," she smiled weakly and wiped her eyes dry.

I stared down at the shoes in silence, unable to find the words to thank her.

"So, I guess this is the part where we hug and say 'nice knowing you', right?" she laughed.

When I looked back up at her more tears had fell from her lashes and her chin quivered.

"I never had many friends. Most thieves can't, really. I had Keiji. But I lost him. I just want to say thank you for actually being my friend. I'm really going to miss you."

I hugged her tightly for several long minutes. And that was just the first in a long line of hard-to-swallow farewells. I said goodbye to Samara and Jacob before they walked out the door. Samara kissed my forehead and offered to pray to the Goddess for me. I shook Jacob's hand and wished him well.

Jason took Thane, Mordin, Jack, and me back to my apartment where everyone spent the day as normally as we tried to. Grunt was resting on my sofa watching cartoons while Katie held the doll. Mordin kept working on my laptop, making sure that Mary's computations would, indeed, work.

Not much was said of the party, other than a few jokes here and there about some of the silliness that ensued, such as Shepard wearing a lampshade at one point. Mary brought Garrus and Tali over later that day in order for our goodbyes to take place.

"I was getting used to the sweatpants," Garrus joked as he sat at the bar, glass of water in his grasp.

"Yeah," I nodded. The turian shifted his gaze over to Thane who was talking to Mary.

"It's not going to be easy for any of us, going back to the Normandy. I suspect it won't be easy not having us around, right?" he smirked with knowing. I shook my head and tried to smile.

"No, it won't," I agreed.

Not long after Jason returned with Joker and George while Stephanie joined us with Zaeed and a smaller, less alcohol-fueled gathering took place. Zaeed told us of several funny stories involving narrow escapes, friendly fire courtesy of Jacob who was apparently afraid of varren, and the unfortunate incident involving an elcor prostitute and her asari pimp. We were all laughing so hard it hurt to breathe afterward.

We stayed up most of the night, no one wanting to leave or go to sleep. But when Grunt dropped down to the sofa, his huge head on Katie's lap, we all had to face the inevitable. More goodbyes had to be said.

Garrus offered the hosts firm handshakes and controlled words of kindness. Tali, however, couldn't give the same. She gave strong hugs and wishes to each of us, sobbing inside her helmet. But past the dark glass I could see her trying to smile. I kissed the side of her helmet as she hugged me again then followed Garrus out the door. It was hard watching them leave my home.

Mary promised to return shortly to grab Grunt, Mordin, and Katie in order to get them back to her place safely. I gathered up the rest of the Paydays in my cabinets and put them into a bag for Grunt to take back to Pennsylvania. I expected him to mutter with thanks, I didn't expect the nearly crushing embrace he bestowed upon me. I also didn't realize just how fond I had grown of the large child-like creature, but when I looked back into his smiling face and brilliant pale blue eyes I began to cry.

"Not easy to do, saying farewell," Mordin cleared his throat. "Enjoyed staying here. Atmosphere was intriguing, warm, welcoming. Will miss your spaghetti and meatballs. Exponentially better than Gardner's meals in the mess hall. Will think fondly of you and often," the old salarian smiled.

"Thank you, Mordin. I'll think fondly of you, too," I returned. And with that Mary ushered them out my door, along with Katie, and left my sight forever. Stephanie and Zaeed went back downstairs to her apartment, Zaeed muttering a "so long" as he followed my blonde neighbor. The farewells would continue the next day. The last day.

O . . . O . . . O

We didn't sleep. There were only a few hours left until daylight but I refused to let my eyes close. We lay on my bed and watched the faint traces of light begin to creep through the window. For quite a long time we were silent; the only sound that kept me from screaming at the silence was his heartbeat against my ear. And then he began to sing, nearly a whisper against his lips.

_"Ea' n'hah Ayeaft eshe. D'horr Ayeaft eshe. Kol-afah ya neifthe, ya lieshu_," he repeated the song once again, placing a kiss on the top of my head once he finished.

"It sounds very sad," I remarked quietly after he finished.

"It can be," he sighed as he stroked a hand down my arm. He breathed in deeply and I winced as I heard the pops and wheezing in his damaged lungs. It was another harsh blow to reality.

"Go now, the Sea sings to thee. Whispering, the Sea sings to thee. The one who lives in my soul, my love," he sang back in English. A strange pang of déjà vu filled me. The song seemed so familiar. I opened my mouth to say just that when my door was knocked upon. Jack's voice, oddly quiet, spoke through the wood.

"Jason's here."

I walked out to my living room to see Jack standing against the wall o' windows dressed back into her dark orange overalls. Her arms were crossed over her chest in her typical defiance but her stance screamed sadness.

"Hey," she mumbled, not looking away from the window.

I unlocked the door for Jason, and tried smiling at her.

"You know what sucks quads? This place," she waved a flippant hand at the interior of my apartment. "This place sucks and I'll tell you why. I can deal with living on the streets and trying to get by. I've been doing that shit for years and I haven't died yet. And then this happens, this fucking wormhole, and I end up meeting you. I didn't want to like you. I wanted to hate your guts for being such a goodie-goodie. And I really did try."

She stepped away from the window and turned to face me. I waited for a slap to the face or some kind of cold insult. Jack's dark eyes began to go wet with tears as she shook her head.

"My whole life has been full of people who were acting like they were nice just to get something from me. I expect people to be back-stabbing assholes. So, go on. Say something to make me hate you. Because if I go back to that damn ship and you're not there to roll your eyes at me for doing something stupid…" she choked back a sob. She wiped the make-up thickened tears and nodded slowly to herself.

"You are the first legitimately decent person I have ever met. That's why this place sucks. Because you get to stay here."

I stuck out my hand to her, wondering if she would even accept that. She snorted at the offering, taking a step closer to me.

"You suck, Davis," she smirked and I found myself in a very tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you, Jack," I promised her when she pulled back. She nodded again and shoved her hands deep into the overall's pockets.

"Yeah. Take care of yourself."

"You, too," I returned.

I said my goodbye to Joker and watched them follow Jason. I walked over to my television, turned it on, and waited for Mary to call. It wouldn't be long, less than an hour. I walked back to my bedroom, somewhat numb due to the onslaught of depression that had been slammed into me. There was only one squad mate left for me to say goodbye to. That thought caused my heart to skip and pound in my chest.

I stared down at the bracelet on my wrist and tried choking back the tears. I still couldn't face the truth. He was leaving me. Forever. I began to wonder if I could indeed push that button on the controller. Was I really selfish enough to take his needs and destiny away just to fulfill my own desires?

"Maybe," I whispered to myself.

The sound of soft footsteps behind me forced me to slowly turn around. He stood at the doorway, the thick leather jacket held in the crook of one arm. The tears I had been holding in finally fell. I didn't want to see him in the leather armor. I wanted to rip it off him and force the soft white shirts and jeans back on.

I watched as he opened his mouth to speak but then promptly shut it. His eyes darted around, perhaps for one last look at his sanctuary, then dropped down to his feet.

"My purpose, this past year and several months, has been to assist Shepard in his quest. But, now, I'm beginning to wonder if that truly is my destiny. I- my judgment is beginning to falter. Just how important is it for me to be there?" his brow knit low over his eyes.

I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, lost for words, and unable to move. Tears dripped down his face and fell off his chin like liquid crystal. I had seen him cry before me a few times but to see him weep while wearing the dark stealth suit seemed to strike me deep in my heart.

"I don't even know if I will survive the fight. I don't know if our feeble attempt to stop this adversary will result in anything. Am I just fooling myself?" he looked down at the jacket as he whispered. His chin quivered as he took in a deep, ragged breath. I could hear the thick catch in his throat and my heart broke.

"I thought I had it all figured out; that I could create just a touch of good amid the darkness of the universe and I would be forgiven my transgressions. Will it all be for naught? Am I simply going to my death only to find nothing?"

I took a step towards him, his figure becoming a blur of gray and green in my sight.

"I wish you could stay with me," I finally spoke and I realized I had sealed my fate. He couldn't stay here. This wasn't his place. My role as his protector and lover had been fulfilled and I would be left alone once again.

"This must be some cruel joke by the gods," he hissed. "They take away my wife, take away my health, then let me fall in love once again only to take that from me as well! Curse their names!" his voice growled. He looked back up at me with a dark glare as the tears continued to fall from his black eyes. I was suddenly afraid of him yet I also wanted nothing more than to rush to his arms and hold him. I turned on my heels to look away from those hurt-filled eyes.

"Siha, no, please," his voice cracked and I felt his arms pulled me back into him. I gasped for air as I sobbed. Nothing more was said for several minutes as we held each other. The sound of my iPhone beeping the alarm made me go cold.

It was time.

"You have to go, Thane. You and I both know that," I chanced a look up at him. I watched him slowly nod and his warmth faded as he removed his arms. In slow motion, we walked into the living room only to stare at the television screen on the Xbox home page. The game disc was ready to play and all I had to do was hit the start button.

I stuck the Bluetooth earpiece in my left ear and joined the conference call with the rest of the hosts.

"I'm here," I replied weakly.

"Okay," Mary spoke up. "This has to be exactly precise. When I say 'go' that means we hit the start button at the very same second. Not a second before, not after, not five minutes from now. Got it?"

A round of "yeses" resounded from the rest of the group. I stared down at the black controller and felt my hands begin to shake.

"Everyone," Al spoke up, "just wanted to say to those of you I haven't met until recently, it's been a pleasure knowing you all and I hope we don't lose contact after this is over."

Again the group agreed. Everyone but me.

"Well, if we're ready, let's do this," Mary conducted. "Let's get on to ME2's start page. Once we've all acknowledged that we're there I'll begin the countdown."

Somehow my thumb found the green button and I watched as the red logo of BioWare burned onto my television screen. The ominous music hummed over the speakers as the starting screen flashed before me. "Press Start" seared against my retina.

"Are we ready?" Mary's voice tunneled through my brain. I glanced over at Thane and reached for his hand. I wanted one last touch, one last kiss. I deserved that much. He rested his head on mine and I swallowed the hard lump as I heard Mary count down from ten.

"I love you," I whispered. He tilted my chin up and gave me a soft, gentle kiss.

"Ya lieseh ea', my Siha."

"Three, two, one, and go!"

My trembling thumb hit the start button.

A brilliant flash of bright white light consumed my home and I became transfixed on the anomaly that was the wormhole pulsing out of my television screen.

It worked.

"Amonkira's Blood," Thane swore in disbelief.

"Yeah," I nodded.

I listened as the rest of the hosts said their final "good-byes" to everyone. I dropped my hand out of his and looked up at him through the glowing light.

"Go make the universe brighter," I smiled weakly. He nodded once and stepped away from me towards the wormhole.

"Thank you for everything," he said and I felt new tears race down my cheeks.

"You're welcome. Now, go on. They're waiting for you."

The shadow in the light bowed elegantly to me and placed his hand over his heart.

"Farewell, Sara Davis, my love. I will meet you across the sea."

"And I'll find you on the shore," I promised.

Slowly, he walked into the portal and vanished from my sight. The light flickered and faded into a mere pinpoint on the screen as the inside of the Normandy's Conference Room was shown in the game. Shepard began his "let's go get 'em" speech to the squad. Thane stood at the table, arms folded behind his back.

I pulled the earpiece out and slowly walked over to the console and turned it off. My hands wrapped around the case and I watched myself lift it off the entertainment center shelf. With a loud shriek, I ripped the cables out of the back and slammed the console to the floor. Pieces of plastic and metal fragmented as it shattered beneath my feet.

I stepped over the broken Xbox and walked back to my bedroom.


	35. Chapter 35

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. I also claim no ownership to the following: Daft Punk, the Bioshock game series, and RUMC hospital. Another long chapter. My apologies.

Chapter 35: Sunday and Moving On…

I threw the suitcase onto the bed and began grabbing random stuff to shove into it. I didn't even hear Jason come in as I threw a ball of tee-shirts onto the already tall pile of unfolded clothes.

"Sara?" his voice tunneled through my ears.

"I gotta get out of here," I muttered as I tried to zip the top close. He sat down on the bed and remained calm as I struggled with the luggage and with my sanity.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home," I pulled the heavy box off the bed and onto its wheels harshly.

"You're going back to South Carolina," he regarded me sadly.

"For a while, yes. I can't stay here, Jay," I fought the onslaught of tears and emotions that threatened to break me. "I look around this place and I see him. I smell him in the sheets and I hear him whisper to me at night. But when I turn to see him or answer him he's not there. He's gone. And there's nothing I can do about it now. I let him go," I held myself as I wept. Jason stood up and wrapped his arms around me as I cried.

Moments later I was climbing into the cab soon to leave for JFK. My best friend gently took the glasses off my face, cleaned the dried tears off the lenses, and handed them back as he kissed my cheek.

"Don't forget; your home is here and you still have a lot of people who love you. I'm going to miss you."

I nodded and let him hug me one last time before I climbed into the cab. It would be months before I returned to New York.

O . . . O . . . O

My father knew something was wrong immediately the moment I met him on the front porch of our house. Wordlessly, he hugged me tightly before he led me through the door where I was swallowed up by my loving yet dramatic mother. I tried to act like nothing was wrong but in the privacy of my old bedroom, which was still decorated the same way I left it before college with posters of industrial rock bands and Alex Ross prints, I cried.

The haunting, ominous dreams also stopped, leaving me confused and also uneasy about their sudden disappearance. The only way I was able to get sleep was to get my brother to write me a prescription for a sleep aid. My nights were black and I remembered nothing. I barely talked to my family, finally revealing after I had been there for a week that I left the magazine. My mother acted shocked, my sister could've cared a less (and hardly cared for anything unless it had something to do with her), and my father showed honest concern.

I never told anyone about Thane. I couldn't. Brian, however, knew something was up after the whole prescription request and the admittance of leaving my career. He met me one day as the family took a trip to the beach. The majority of the group went swimming and sun bathing while I sat in the sand and watched the ocean roll to the shore. My brother sat down next to me and remained silent for a few moments.

"That guy, the one you wanted me to call in the oxygen tank for, this is about him, isn't it?"

I turned around, ready to snap at him, but I saw the look of sadness in my brother's eyes and I bit on my tongue. Slowly, I nodded and glanced down at the bracelet still on my wrist.

"Yeah. He had to leave and I had to let him go," I admitted quietly.

"That's tough, Sare. Ah'm sorry. Ah won't say anything to Mom to save you from the worst version of Twenty Questions ever."

I smiled in thanks and returned to staring at the ocean changing colors as the sun began to set behind us.

"Did you love him?" Brian asked.

"Yes, I did. I loved him very much."

"And he loved you?"

"Yes."

He nodded and laughed quietly to himself.

"Yeah, you had ta love him in order to use blackmail against me. Which, by the way, Ah forgive ya," he elbowed me playfully.

I watched him walk back over to the family who was gathering around a small campfire, beach towels being used as blankets and the family dog, a very old black Labrador named Snooker, settled next to my father. I stood up, brushed the sand off my legs, and walked down towards the tide. A strong urge to jump into the sea took hold of my heart and it took all my inner strength to pull away. I closed my eyes and heard his voice whispering to me.

"Siha,"

I attempted to suck in the deep emotion, forcing myself not to cry. I had done enough of that and it wasn't going to bring him back to me. I opened my eyes and focused on the sand at my feet, taking a second to write his name as a sort of tribute to his time spent with me. For a moment I waited for the waves to take it away but it never happened this time. I stepped back from the name, untouched by the water, and felt my soul fall into a cold numbness.

My name was being called by my sister, drawing my attention away from the one in the beach. I left the word for the elements, not knowing if it was ever captured.

O . . . O . . . O

I stayed at my home for about three month, lost in my sorrows. After that time autumn was closing in and I felt a need to get away from the stifling hugs of my mother and the woes of my self-absorbed sister. I headed into Charleston, rented a car, and drove clear down the coast until I reached Key West were after I dropped the car off at a nearby rental lot I stayed for another two months, renting a cheap apartment above a small restaurant. I spent my time on the beach, watching the occasional wedding take place from a distance or the myriad of happy couples walk hand in hand along the shoreline. I envied their happiness, hated the fact that they still had one another to cling to and I had no one.

I decided one evening to walk on the western side of the island as the sun began to set on the ocean. I had been carrying around a note Thane had given me before he left and had yet to read it. For months I had been putting off opening the envelope but in that moment, as the last rays of the sun painted the sky brilliant splashes of gold and pink, I pulled the paper from its home and slowly unfolded it. The words written in his flowing, elegant script seemed to dance before my eyes as they became a blur from the tears I tried not to cry.

This was his note to me…

"My Beloved Siha,

"By the time you read this letter I will have faded from your sight back to the realm where I belong. However I couldn't, in good judgment, leave you without a few final words spoken from my heart. The time I have spent with you, in this unforeseen journey, has been perhaps the most wonderful I've ever experienced. In you I have found a chance to love again, to feel like I am worthy of such attention and devotion from another kind soul. There is so much I would like to say to you, so many thoughts and emotions begging to be told, but I'm afraid I could never appropriately describe them in such words.

"I was ready to accept my death as the final penance for my sins. I looked back on my time, at the things I had openly done, and figured that the nearing end of my life was a just decision by the gods. But then I met you and I awoke from my battlesleep in time to see that I wasn't damned to live the remainder of my cursed existence by waiting for the inevitable. You have given me hope and for that I could never repay you. You have also given me your love and by that deeply generous gift I found myself weeping to the gods for a chance to stay with you. But I know that is not how it must be.

"I am meant to finish this goal, even if it means leaving the comfort of your gentle touch. I can say that I will think of you often, wishing that my memories focus on you and how you've graced me with your love. I pray that you will be the last thing on my mind when I feel my last breath exit this body. I also pray that you continue to live your life in happiness, health, and, with hope, find love again.

"I thank you for your kindness and hospitality, for protecting me, and for sharing a piece of your life with me. You have humbled me and so have made me a better man from it. I cannot express how much you have come to mean to me. I love you. May the gods continue to bless you. And when the time has come to cross the Sea I shall meet you on the shore.

"With all my love,

Thane."

I folded the note and shoved it back into my pocket. The next morning I called Jason. I was coming home.

O . . . O . . . O

The apartment seemed cold and alien when I walked through the door. Jason had spent some time in it while I was away just to make sure it remained "lived in". I dropped down onto my bed once I entered the bedroom and listened to the traffic below on the streets. I breathed in the scent of clean cotton from the pillow but realized immediately that something was missing. The rich, sweet smell of spice had faded.

In the closet his clothes remained neatly folded or hung from the few hangers I had reserved for his use. I gathered up most (but for one white button-up shirt, a pair of linen slacks, and a pair of jeans) and donated them to a nearby shelter. He would've wanted me to perform such an act of kindness. It was a small attempt to make the universe a brighter place. My time of mourning had ended. It was time to get on with the rest of my life.

O . . . O . . . O

June, 2013

"Order up!" Miguel called over the loud noise of the stereo playing of all things Daft Punk in the large kitchen. I reached for the ticket printing out of the small machine and quickly scanned the list. I smirked a little, seeing the dish that was most popular listed three times for the same table. It was also what I named my newly successful restaurant for; it, I guess, changed my life.

Lamb chops.

"Alright, boys, listen up!" I shouted over their laughter, bringing their attention to me. I quickly read off the order and was given a short and prompt "Yes, chef!" It was a busy night. Then again, from the moment I opened Lambchops it was always busy. Thanks to Al and a few other influential names I had been privileged to call acquaintances I was never left with an empty table. It was hard work, and I often left every night with a sore back or a cut on my fingers or a burn on my arm, but I was happy. After a long year of mourning and soul-searching I found peace. I was also getting low on my savings funds and I needed a way to make money. The idea of the restaurant originally came from Stephanie who became a business partner and gladly offered to invest in the project. She shortly got back her investments and then some. It was difficult owning a small business in New York City. Even more difficult to keep afloat was a restaurant. I was lucky.

"If this trend keeps up we're going to run the world market dry of lamb," my soux chef Danny joked. I smiled and laughed a little as I threw three seasoned chops into the pan. Truth was we were nearly out of lamb in our supply for the day. I had a feeling that we would soon be reporting to the wait staff that the signature dish was temporarily off the menu.

"I still think we should rename them 'Sexy Chops,'" Andrew, the pastry chef spoke up as he finished burning sugar of an order of crème brulee. "That shit'll make a man propose marriage to a girl if she made him that."

"No shit, dude!" Miguel again. "Sara, Master and Creator of my paycheck, will you marry me?"

I slid a couple of fresh plates over to my station and laughed at their teasing.

"Miguel, my darling, I would but you already have a wife and two little kids," I returned as I began to pipe fresh sauce onto the plates.

"Oh, yeah. My bad, boss."

The joking continued throughout the night until it was closing time. After the nightly clean up and double checking the food stores I walked back to my little office and did the daily accounting. My eyes were beginning to cross from my exhaustion as I stared at the computer screen but, just like the night before, it was another great day for the small bistro.

I let my tired eyes drift over to the framed photo I kept on my desk and I smiled weakly. I pulled it closer and brushed my fingers over the glass, imagining the soft, satiny scales of his face against my skin. He looked so happy, with his white teeth shining and his black and green eyes squinted just a little. I looked happy, too, for that matter.

It was all I had left of him.

"Hey, Sara," Andrew popped his head in the door. I looked up from the photograph, dropping it down to hide the image.

"Yeah?"

"We're all gonna hit O'Doyle's for a pint. You in?"

I shook my head and smiled.

"No, thanks. Not tonight. Think I'm just going to go home, prop my feet up on my coffee table, pour myself a glass of wine, and play some BioShock."

Andrew nodded briefly, a sad look passing over his face for a second.

"Alright, then. We'll see you on Wednesday night." I nodded as he walked away, my gaze going back to the image of the green drell holding me to him. I felt a tear burn in my eye as I put the frame back onto the desk.

"I miss you," I whispered to the empty air. I cleared my throat and went back to work, swallowing my tears.

It was a mild night for June. It was cool enough for a light jacket but plenty of young women in Manhattan that evening decided it was also warm enough to show off their legs by sporting short, revealing dresses as they made their way to nearby exclusive clubs. I shuffled back to my home, my mind a mix of trying to go over the food orders for the next day of service but somehow unable to shake the sudden onslaught of lament. And I had the feeling that the second I walked back into my apartment would only bring back more memories. His presence still lingered like a ghost.

I took a brief shower to rid myself of the sweat and grease build-up and then grabbed a glass of pinot gris before I turned on the gaming console. I never gave up on my hobby of gaming. In fact, with the new career as a head chef, gaming became my personal get-a-way. Thanks to Jason, I was also given game demos to try out and offer my "professional opinion" as an anonymous tester.

But I stayed away from Mass Effect. I refused to read any reviews or watch any videos that had been released. I had heard rumors of the disappointing endings and the additional DLC's released to help ease the angry feedback from the fans.

Although I did stumble across the subject of his death. I knew it was bound to happen, but I still found myself weeping bitterly, wishing I was there to hold his hand, to kiss him one last time. The news, given to me by Jason, drove me to the beach-house where two years ago my lover and I spent a weekend in pure bliss with one another. I spent hours sitting on the coastline until the sun began to set.

The glass of wine did more than just relax me that evening and I decided to retire from my game earlier than I expected to. I settled into my bed and waited for sleep to take me..

_I was nervous but also happy. It was a good anxiety. There were others around me, fussing with the veil and the elaborately beaded dress. I tried laughing to cover my nerves, throwing out jokes. I took a moment to walk away towards the terrace, my hands shaking like leaves. A gentle hand fell onto my shoulder and I looked up and smiled widely. He wasn't supposed to see me, it was bad luck the elder women said, but I was happy he was there. He offered me a calm that I desperately needed._

_"You are beautiful, my Goddess," he leaned in to kiss me and I giggled._

_"I still don't know why you call me that. And you shouldn't be here. If the matrons see you with me they'll flog the scales off your back," I teased as I playfully shoved him slightly. He laughed softly and pulled me to him to steal another kiss. Gods, he looked so handsome, dressed in the rich wedding linens._

_"Let them," he shrugged as he ran a finger across my cheek. "I would withstand a thousand lashings if it allowed me a single taste of you," he whispered as he pressed his mouth to my parted lips. For a moment the world disappeared as he embraced me. I had never been happier in my life._

_"Irikah!" I heard my sister cry out, immediately halting the kiss. "You'd better get back into the temple before the priestess sees you."_

_I pulled the bright scarlet veil around my flushed neck, giggling with guilt as I looked up at my soon-to-be-husband. I squeezed his hand lovingly and began towards the temple._

_"Patience, Thane, we have the rest of our lives to steal kisses from each other."_

_I ran towards my sister who admonished me for meeting with the groom when it was apparently forbidden, but I didn't care. I was in love. I stopped by the dressing room to recheck the gown in the mirror, to make sure everything was perfect. I didn't want a single wrinkle to show. _

_But the reflection had changed and I stared at the image in shock…_

_I reached out to touch the glass, watching the woman on the other side copy my movements. I knew her to be me. How surprised I was when our hands touched. I was jerked through the mirror to stand before her…_

_"Where am I?" I asked the void around me, feeling a pull around my soul like the waves of the ocean._

_"The Other Side, The Sea, The Void, Limbo, whatever you want to call it," a gentle voice responded. I turned around to see the elegant woman at my side, her sunset-colored eyes staring deep into me. "It is a place beyond the physical realm but not quite the Place of Rest."_

_"Why am I here?" I asked as we began walking. I stared at the dark horizon, a faint red and yellow glow like the sun beginning to rise at dawn. But as we walked we never got any closer to the light._

_"To discover the truth, to learn why your life is the way it is," she answered. "We share much in common, Sara. You could say, we are the same person just in different forms."_

_I looked into the shimmering orbs and saw my own life reflecting inside._

_"But, wouldn't that make you my future?"_

_She smiled at me, a smile I knew all too well for it was my own; slightly crooked and sarcastic._

_"Here's a secret; time is not linear and the universe doesn't exist in just one realm. Paths cross, including time and alternate realities. What you may think is in the future could very well be your past or mine. Do you understand?"_

_"No, not really," I answered and she began laughing, a musical sound that seemed to ease the tension._

_"I am the reason for your dreams. I am also the reason why you love him, because you are meant to love him. And he is meant to love you as he is meant to love me. Through you I am allowed to have a chance, to live in a way I never could. I begged for the ability to see him again, even if it was just for a brief moment. I was given you, in the same way you were given me."_

_"Then what was the point? If he was going to be taken away anyway, why let me suffer in this life?" I asked with a touch of anger. She smiled again and began walking away, leaving me alone in the dark emptiness._

_"Don't forget, Sara, your name was taken with his in the sand…"_

I woke up in a cold sweat, nearly screaming and trembling. I felt sick and disoriented and I fell out of my bed onto the floor with a hard thump. My heart pounded inside my chest as though it was going to burst out of my ribcage. My blurred eyes landed on the frayed and tattered bracelet on my wrist and the unshakable urge to rush to the beach overtook me. Still in my pajamas but with a jacket slung over my shoulders I ran down to the street, at three in the morning, and jumped into my car, heading for Manhattan Beach.

I sat on the sand for hours, lost in my own mind as I recalled the dream. But it wasn't a dream; it was Irikah's memory. My memory. I watched the waves roll onto the land, repetitively, lulling me in a place between the past life and my present. I thought for sure I would be a ball of emotion and confusion but I was calm; nearly numb.

Two hours later, after a quick text from my phone, Jason appeared next to me and took a seat. For several minutes he was silent, not even looking at me.

"Two years to the day," he finally spoke to me. I slowly nodded in acknowledgment, my eyes still locked on the ocean before me.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

"Do you remember when you were studying religion in college that we used to tease each other about our dreams being memories about past lives? The dream about you being a cowboy chasing zombie cattle?"

"Uh, yeah," he snickered. "That's about as random as someone can possibly get, Sara. Why?"

I reached into my handbag and pulled out the two year old dream journal I brought with me on a whim. I hadn't bothered with writing in the new entry. I waited for Jason to read through them, most likely just briefing since there was approximately two months worth of dreams, and expected him to laugh or snort in disbelief. He closed the cover and placed it on his knees as he sighed.

"Wow," he whispered and fell back into a lull of silence for a minute. "Let me guess; Irikah, right?"

"Yep," I replied as I watched the faint traces of the sun start to peak on the horizon. It would still be a while before it actually appeared.

"But isn't she in the future?"

"Alternate universe, Jay. Even I don't understand how it happened. But it explains a lot." At that point I told Jason about the ritual Thane and I performed on the beach in The Hamptons, writing our names in the sand; and then the mind meld with Samara and how I saw the child who ran to me. I finally revealed the last and most recent vision which hadn't been posted in the journal.

"Then this dream, the one about you being pregnant?" he flipped the journal open to one of the last dreams. "Did she have a miscarriage?"

"No, but she almost lost Kolyat. I know that now," I regarded the bracelet and saw it again on Irikah's wrist; frayed even more than mine but still holding strong. "He had to be taken from her surgically. She was afraid, woke up screaming the morning of his birth. Strong One; that's what Kolyat means."

"Is that what he told you?"

"No," I shook my head again. "She did. Or I know, rather," I began laughing as tears fell from my eyes. "God! I don't even know anymore! For two years I haven't had a dream, not a single memory or an inkling to make me think anything of the sort. And then, this day, it all changes? Why? Is this some kind of game or am I really going crazy by thinking I'm his dead wife reincarnated or something?"

"Makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it," he mused. I finally stole a glance at my friend and tried not to show much reaction. "He loved you from the moment he met you and you loved him, too. Under normal circumstances that doesn't usually happen. But, he knew. Somehow you both knew."

"Normal," I snorted. "Nothing has ever been normal from the moment I woke up and saw him standing in my living room." I stood up and watched the morning sun break over the ocean, a sliver of red light that crept over the vast expanse between sea and sky. "I just want to know why I was allowed to fall in love with him only to have him taken from me."

Jason never said a word as he stood up next to me. The seagulls were just beginning to make their appearances known by squawking loudly, begging for scraps of food. I took a deep breath, allowing the scent of salt and ocean to fill my senses, and attempted one last time to bring him back to me. Slowly, and almost hesitantly, I let my finger begin to draw in the sand. As I wrote the five letters before me I recalled the vow we spoke to each other, a promise to be faithful and an offering of our souls to one another. I stepped back and regarded the name at my feet.

"No matter what happens for the rest of my life it'll always be him who'll have my heart. So, you can take that name or leave it as you have for the past two years, Kalahira."

There was no answer from the ocean so I grabbed my handbag and my friend and left the beach in silence.

O . . . O . . . O

It wasn't a day of service since we were closed on Tuesdays but I always came in to prepare for the next day whether it was to continue to compute assets or clean up in the kitchen or the dining room. I technically never had a day off from work but I never minded coming into Lambchops on the off days. I should've been exhausted from the lack of sleep; I should've been completely disoriented from the surge of foreign memories.

But I wasn't.

Somehow I was able to function in the same way I had been since I opened the restaurant's doors. I placed my food orders, planned menus and recipes for the specials, and worked through my usual business. When the phone rang late that morning I suspected that it was a potential patron calling to make reservations. I let the answering machine pick up the call as I continued to add up the cost of orders.

"This is Sergeant Harold Malcowitz of the NYPD calling for a Ms. Sara Davis. Ms. Davis is needed for questioning in identifying an unknown person," the voice spoke and I went cold. I picked up the receiver immediately and began speaking.

"This is Sara Davis," I said quietly, deep fear causing my guts to churn with anxiety. The officer on the other line quickly began to describe why I was needed. A man had been found on Manhattan Beach, stripped of his clothing and suffering from hypothermia and near drowning.

"Officer," I began, "I admit, I was there this morning, but I never saw anyone on the beach."

"I'm aware of that, Ms. Davis. The reason why we are calling you is because the John Doe has named you as his contact. Right now he's at RUMC. We'd like you to come down and see if you can identify him."

I shook my head, confused and afraid. It couldn't have been Jason; he left at the same time I did.

"He gave you no name?"

"'Fraid not, ma'am. We'd like you to come to the hospital and see if you can ID him."

"Okay," I managed to mumble as I hung up the phone.


	36. Chapter 36

For legal purposes, recognizable Mass Effect characters in the following story are sole property of BioWare. This fanfic has not been created for any monetary gains. Likeness to any person living or dead is strictly coincidental. This is the end, my fandom friends, the end!

Chapter 36: Tuesday Continuing

I stood outside of room 472 and stared at the name plate reading "John Doe". Sergeant Malcowitz, the police officer who called me, was a tall and well groomed middle aged man. He greeted me with a handshake and proceeded to tell me about the mysterious patient just beyond the door.

"He was speaking a language no one could understand. The nurse on staff thinks he's suffering from shock but we can't be sure. He's unconscious at the moment but not in a coma. It's odd, like the guy fell out of the sky. We never did get a name, obviously, except for yours. He kept repeating it until he passed out from exhaustion."

I nodded slowly and hesitated walking through the door. I was suddenly afraid of what lay beyond. The officer placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder and smiled politely.

"I'll leave Officer Jackson here as a guard for you if anything suspicious happens," he nodded to a younger man standing against the wall. "I have a bit of paperwork to do but I won't leave the building. Take your time, Ms. Davis."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I grabbed hold of the door knob and wondered if what I was about to do was crazy. Then again, the events of the past several hours should've put me into the psychiatric ward of the hospital. Before I knew it I was inside the dark room staring at the patient resting in the bed.

He was beautiful, exotic, probably the most handsome man I had ever seen. He lay there unconscious and motionless in the mint green gown and covered with a thin white sheet. There was no color in his cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes made his olive-toned skin appear pale and thin. His hair, chin-length and cut in a jagged fashion, was black with faint traces of silver streaking out from the hairline.

I had never seen him before in my life. And yet somehow I knew him.

I cautiously walked closer to the edge of the bed; aware that just outside the door was the police officer. I wasn't sure what I was doing there, staring at this stranger. I took a seat in the chair across the room and decided to wait for him to wake. A few minutes passed to a half hour and I contemplated on leaving.

His head began to move from side to side and I watched as his eyelids fluttered open. A soft sigh sounded from his lips as he woke. An almost irresistible urge to rush to him overtook me but I kept firm in my seat, my hands wrapped around the arms to the point that my palms began to ache.

"Is- someone there?" he asked quietly. That voice; that wonderfully familiar voice with its rich tones and graveled quality echoed in my mind as he spoke to the silence of the room. It wasn't as flanged as I remembered but it was still his; it was still the sultry sound that would wake me up in the mornings with a gentle whisper in my ear.

"Yes," I answered weakly, my better sense internally warring against my heart to keep my ass in that chair. Here was a stranger; very handsome and painfully recognizable but a stranger to me no less. I watched as he attempted to sit up, his tightly muscled arms shaking with weakness before the feat was lost. His brow furrowed with frustration and he sighed again as he rolled to his side towards the window.

"May I see who you are? It is difficult to sit up at the moment and my sight is blurred."

I rose from the chair and walked towards the bed. My heart pounded in my chest and my mouth went dry. I stopped at the foot, afraid to stand closer.

"My name is Sara Davis," I said over the sound of the IV monitor beeping softly. "I was contacted this morning by the NYPD saying that you asked for me. I want to know how you know me."

His eyes slowly opened and I bit on my lips to keep from crying. In the dim lighting of the hospital room the eyes, almost too large for his masculine features, looked black. My heart kept screaming at me "It's him! He's come back to you!"

"I am sorry, but it is dark in here and I can only see a shadow. Would you please come into the light?" he winced in pain as he tried to sit up. I looked down at his hands, the long, nimble fingers that looked so familiar. But there were five separate fingers on each hand. I felt like weeping. This wasn't fair. Why was my shattered heart being toyed with?

I took a step towards him, pursing my lips to keep the tears at bay. He narrowed his large eyes, lips parted as he appeared to be focusing on me.

"Sara!" he breathed. "You- your hair, it is different. And your glasses are gone," he said as an observation. This time I lost the battle against the tears and they flowed down my cheeks.

"You try anything funny, just so you know I've been trained in martial arts, so, don't even think about grabbing at me, dude!"

A smile pulled on his lips, slanting towards the right and I caught a glimpse of his elongated canines. Flashes of seeing Thane smile as we laughed over silly stores began to overtake my memory.

"But you don't have the ball bat this time, I see. And, as I recall, you rushed from my arms before I could teach you more."

I choked on a sob and glared at him.

"You bastard, whoever you are, this is sick!" I shook my head and started towards the door, infuriated and hurt. I heard the bed creak again and he sighed in pain.

"Siha, please," the man with my lover's voice pleaded. I spun around and gasped for air.

"No one calls me by that name! You hear that, whoever you are?! No one but one man and he died!"

There was silence for a few seconds but for the sound of my snuffling and sniffing.

"Yes," he whispered. "Yes, I did. I waited for ages in the Deep of the Sea. I fought the waves of demons from my past and won. I am being given a second chance."

I chanced another glance at the stranger and saw hurt and desperation in his dark, luminous eyes. He was obviously still in some kind of physical pain but he muscled up more strength in order to scoot to the edge of the bed.

"Please, my love, allow me to prove to you who I am. Who you are to me," his eyes watered as he clutched at his side. I froze in my place, staring at him with wonder, anger, confusion, and hope.

"Fine," I croaked, holding myself tight. "Tell me something that only he would know about us."

He winced in pain as he attempted to stand to his feet only to fall back onto the bed. He shook his head as he tried to catch his breath, a hand going to his middle. His bottom lip quivered as he gripped to the sheet in his hands.

"There is a scar on your left wrist, a reminder how you nearly ended your life many years ago," the tears in his eyes raced down to drip from his chin. "During the dance at the convention we stood on the rooftop of Madison Square Garden and I told you I loved you. I gave you the prayer rope." He took a deep breath and continued as I stepped closer. "You would sing in the shower as you got ready for work. I loved the sound of your voice no matter how much you despised it. You would laugh after we made love while tears trailed from your eyes. You stayed up with me all night when my lungs refused to work. Tell me what you want to know and I'll say anything to prove it to you," he was sobbing hard at this point and I sat down on the bed to take his hands. He looked up at me and placed his fingertips on my cheek, sliding them down to my chin as he used to before he would kiss me.

"I remember everything, Sara. I remember how kind you were to me when you had all rights to force me away from your presence that very first evening I arrived into your life. I remember the first kiss you allowed me to take. I never wanted anyone more in my entire life than I wanted you in that very moment. You were the last memory I recalled as I felt my life slip away. I prayed so very hard for a chance to see you again, and I'm praying right now that you see the truth."

I looked deep into his eyes and saw that they weren't black, but a green so dark they looked black against the shadows of his brow. I gasped for air as my heart beat wildly in my chest and I touched his left cheek, noticing the faint mark from the crowbar that had been struck into his face. He fluttered his eyes closed and leaned into my hand, lips grazing at my wrist.

"Siha," he whispered against my skin. I flung myself into his arms and wept on his chest, soaking the hospital gown. He held me tightly and buried his nose into my hair. I could smell the faint scent of spice against his neck and I knew, from the bottom of my heart, he had returned to me. A wave of memories, from both this life and Irikah's nearly overwhelmed my soul and I opened my mouth to speak. But the words that flowed off my lips were not English yet somehow I knew exactly what I said.

_"Ai, ya falanatha! Starresta ya efthu, eyaremeh, d'ea'. Ya etteh ea'_," I ran my fingers across his cheek and through his hair. "Oh, my husband! I have waited, for eternity, for you. I have found you." As the alien speech fell from my tongue his eyes widened in shock. He grabbed my hands and placed them to his quickly beating heart as a smile formed on his mouth.

"By the Gods! My Irikah?! It has been you all this time! How could I not have seen- " he began to sob as he pulled me near again.

"I missed you, Thane. I have missed you so much!"

He brushed his lips over mine, waiting for my permission, and I knew him to be the man I fell in love with. An elated laugh echoed in the room as I kissed him deeply.

O . . . O . . . O

I logged onto Skype after the reunion and smiled brightly at the familiar face on the screen. She returned the gesture, a wave of her hand motioning with pride to the blue logo with four capital letters in white in the background.

"Hey, Mary. How's Switzerland?" I asked politely.

"I am thoroughly enjoying myself. I am actually considering moving here on a semi-permanent basis. So far, everyone seems to be very nice. How are you? You look like you have been crying. And, are you in a hospital?" she frowned in confusion.

"Mary, I want to show you something and I'm not sure how to explain it," I moved the phone over to Thane who was resting comfortably in his bed, eyes heavily lidded from the latest batch of pain killers. He grinned lazily and waved at her.

"Well met again, Ms. Brewster," he greeted softly. Mary's eyes widened slightly but the rest of her face showed a lack of reaction.

"That's Thane Krios," she mused.

"Yes, it is," I nodded.

"He looks good as a human."

"Yes, he does," I agreed again. She rubbed her chin in thought and then smiled brightly, perhaps the biggest smile I had ever seen to cross her face.

"He's going to need some sort of identification, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"I have the perfect thing in mind. Give me about ten minutes."

I spent that time sitting next to the bed, holding his hands, and telling him about my newfound success as a restaurateur and chef. He listened with full attention, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of my hands as I spoke. At exactly ten minutes Mary contacted me back.

"Wasn't easy, but I was able to hack into the correct departments in that time. You can thank Tali'Zorah for that little scheme. Anyway, Thane is now in the system as Tanner Jonathan Nuara. I had to change the spelling a bit to keep suspicious eyes from glancing twice. He has a social security number, a birth certificate record, and even a school history which includes a Masters in Theology, leaning heavily on Greek and Anglo-Saxon mythology. If you look up the name on Google right now you will discover that he was born in Berkley, California on January 13th, making him a Capricorn if you want to be silly about it. I could get into more personal stuff, but I'm sure this is all that you need at the moment, right?"

I blinked back new tears and nodded eagerly.

"Mary, I could kiss you."

"I would prefer if you didn't. But I understand this makes you happy, so I am happy, too. Congratulations and good luck."

I thanked her again, and left her to continue her work. Moments later I let the hospital staff and the police know that I did indeed know the John Doe, half drugged in his bed and still smiling, and they confirmed his identification as being legitimate. I owed Mary a very big present and I began to wonder what kind of shoes she would like.

The police came in to get a statement from him when he was able to talk clearer. He gave them a story that he was on his way to visit me, on vacation from his home in California, and wanted to take a morning walk on the beach when he was mugged by a few unknown thugs. He couldn't remember what happen until he woke up in a panic in the hospital. The officer took it as truth and left him and me alone.

Thane would have to remain in the hospital for the night in order to double check his injuries. I stayed by his side for the remainder of the day until the nursing staff kicked me out, but I promised to return the next morning before his checkout. It was nearly impossible for me to sleep a wink.

O . . . O . . . O

The door to my apartment swung open and my best friend's eyes widened as he looked upon the tall man standing protectively at my left. Well, as protectively as he could as he kept his hand on his still aching ribs. He was still somewhat sore from whatever trauma he suffered from the transformation. He smiled broadly as Jason stared at him in shock and I waited to see what Jason would do.

"Holy shit, Sara," he whispered. "It's- it's really," he reached out a hand and touched the shoulder-length hair sprouting from Thane's head. A faint blush rose on his cheeks as a chuckle came from his throat. Tears streamed down Jason's face as he stepped forward to hug him, a joyful laugh muffled against his shoulder. Thane wrapped his arms around my friend to tighten the embrace.

"It is good to see you again, Jason," he said once Jason pulled back, still speechless but still smiling as wide as it was possible. Pushing forward was George, his hand clasped over his heart.

"Oh, my stars! You're so handsome! Well, you always were handsome, my dear man, but, just looks at you!" he gushed as he gave Thane a hug as well. The visit continued with Thane explaining what had happened after he had left my home. After a while, George took over the conversation, happily explaining what all went on in his life while, just as before, Thane listened politely.

Jason pulled me to the side and smiled widely as he looked back at the two.

"You know, if it wasn't for the fact that two years ago we had a bunch of game characters come to life in our homes I would say that this was impossible. But, there he is. Again! You both look so happy."

I beamed with pride and nodded in agreement, still unable to vocalize my happiness.

"Yeah. As cliché as this sounds, I actually feel complete now. I can't believe I actually said that," I snorted.

"Yeah, it's cliché, but with you two it makes sense. So, just promise me one thing, okay?" I looked up at him and waited for the bargain. "I want to be the man of honor, or maid or whatever you want to call me."

I laughed again, shaking my head.

"A bit early to be planning that, isn't it?"

"Don't tell me that if that man got down on his knees at this very second and asked you to be his wife you would say no. Hell, Chicky, you'd be dragging his ass down to City Hall!"

I shrugged and realized that what he said was true. After all, I did agree, once before, that I would marry him.

"By the way, nice invitations! I'm shocked he didn't throw a bigger fit than he did when you picked out a Star Wars theme," I nodded towards George who was fawning over Thane's silver streaked locks.

Jason chuckled and shook his head.

"It's only the cake. Besides, he refuses to take vows dressed in Jedi robes. We compromised," he shrugged.

A couple hours later they left for their own home, allowing us to relax. Thane began to investigate the apartment, happy to see that not much had changed since his departure. He walked across the living room to stand before the burn spot still locked into the hardwood flooring. A huff snorted from his long nose as a smile curled up his lips.

"Ah, that morning," he mused as he stooped down, wincing in pain, as he touched the darkened wood. "I was almost certain Jack was going to be locked in her room for destroying the remote control." He looked up at me, long lashes batting at me adoringly.

"She was rather upset when we made it back to the ship. After we survived the mission, and went our separate ways, she promised me that she would begin a different life."

I helped him stand back up and sat next to him at the wall o' windows where he peered down towards the streets to watch the cars slowly drive by the building.

"What did she do?"

"She became a teacher at a school for biotic human children; Grissom Academy. When last I spoke to her she seemed happy. I don't know if she survived the Wars. I lost contact with her when I was admitted to Huerta," he sighed. "I lost contact with most of the squad. We all fought the Wars in our own ways, but always somehow connected to Shepard."

I nodded as I listened, a pang aching in my heart as I thought about the quirky band of warriors, soldiers, and rogues I befriended. I thought back on the funny moments, the not so funny bits, and even those times when I wished I could disappear from the chaos.

"I miss everyone. Kas, Jack, Grunt, Mordin…"

"Perhaps we will find them again," he smiled as he cupped my cheek. "You did find me, Siha."

"Yes, I guess I did," I laughed quietly. He smiled as he leaned in to kiss me.

"What are you going to do with me now, my Goddess?" he teased, brushing his nose against mine. My arms wrapped around his shoulders and I sighed as I curled against him. Memories of Irikah clinging to him in the same way filled my mind and, for once in my life, I felt at peace.

"I did say I would keep you, didn't I?" I teased.

"Indeed, you did, Siha," his dark eyes sparkled. "I always have been yours to keep."

Fin.

O . . . O . . . O

Author's Note: I want to thank you all for reading this story and for all the kind comments and suggestions given to me. What once started as an experimental drabble has become something magnificent to me and a dear part of my life as a hobbyist and fan of the Mass Effect genre. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this fiction and sharing it with everyone. And I hope all of you have enjoyed the rollercoaster ride.

So, now your question is what happens next? Well, I guess that's another story, isn't it?


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